His entire face went from calm to completely stone cold. I had pushed him way too far this time. He slowly rose from the bed, wiped his face with his hand and slammed the door behind him without a word. I slapped my forehead and rubbed my cheek. I was an ass. But he shouldn't have told me, he wouldn't push me, and then fucking push me!

Yeah, this is totally on him. Fuck off Eri! I didn't open the connection. Obviously you did. Fuck off, I am fucking serious. You really know how to really utilize that one word, Ti...

I cut off the connection. And then turned it on again.

FUCK YOU! YOU FUCKING RUINED ME! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU EXACTLY LIKE YOUR FATHER AND THE WEIRD ONE, AND I AM GOING TO ENJOY EVERY SINGLE MINUTE OF IT! I'LL EVEN KILL KINDLE FIRST, JUST SO YOU CAN SEE HOW IT FEELS TO LOSE SOMEBODY IMPORTANT TO YOU! I AM GOING TO DESTROY YOU AND THEN I'LL HAVE YOU BEG FOR DEATH!

I could feel his surprise through the connection.

You have fucked with me for the last time, Eri. You're going to die.

I cut off the connection again and left it off this time. I jumped out of the bed, threw open the door and almost ran down the corridor. I needed to hit something. Like right now.

I found myself in the training area. I stalked over to a massive metal box and smashed my first against it, searing pain shooting up through my hand. I kept hitting the box until it was too bent to even be used again. Silva could probably even it out. I didn't care. I was still angry, so incredibly angry.

I hated what he had made me into. What he did to me. And I hated Kindle. She saw what happened and she did nothing to stop him. I was going to kill her too for that.

Something tinkered in the back of my head.

'You knew what he did to me, and you're doing the same thing to her,' I felt like throwing up. Big Daddy had made her for a reason. Made her that beautiful. How did I not notice sooner? No wonder she was messed up. No wonder all of us were messed up.

Eri didn't really do anything like that to me, but I kept remembering the feeling of his hand inside my chest.

I smashed my fist into the metal again, kept my hand buried in the metal and let go of some of the pure energy running in my veins. The same energy I could throw at souls and retreat it. Maybe the same energy, Eri had stolen from me.

The box exploded and turned into dust.

"What did that box ever do to you?"

I turned around and faced Hiromi.

"Not in the mood, Hiro." I turned back to the pile of dust, actually regretting I dusted it. I kind of wanted to hit something again.

"Where's your shirt?"

I whirled around and went all up in her face. "What part of 'not in the mood', did you not understand?!" I growled.

"You know, Seth might take your shit, but I don't," she shot back and narrowed her eyes at me.

"Fuck off then."

She stretched her hand out towards me, but I jerked back. I shifted to a fully clothed version of myself and turned my back on her.

"Where's Seth?" she asked.

"He didn't take my shit either," I muttered and stalked over to a punching bag. I smashed my fist into it, and it fell off its chain. Typical.

"What's eating you then?" She followed me to the punching bag and sat down on it.

"Hiro, I am serious. Leave me alone."

She stretched out her legs and crossed them at the ankles. She sighed theatrically and looked up at me. I groaned and sat down on the floor across from her.

"How were we ever together? You piss me off," I growled.

"You used to like that," she said and smirked. I looked down at my hands.

"I spat Seth in the face," I muttered.

"He probably deserved it."

"He didn't."

"I know. He's a damn saint." She sighed and moved down to the floor, leaving little space between us.

I pulled my knees up, rested my arms on top of them and hid half my face in them.

"So go on then. Why did you spit him in the face?"

"Because I'm an asshole."

"Nothing new there," she laughed and leaned back against the punching bag.

"He... There's a lot he doesn't understand, you know? About... Stuff." I shifted to female and looked at her. "A lot..."

Hiromi straightened her back and tipped her head to the side. She grabbed my shoulders and urged me to turn around. I turned my back to her and let her braid tiny braids in my hair. Her fingers worked fast, and she was quick to move on to a new braid.

"Men are stupid, Saga. I thought you knew that by now," Hiro said in an 'as a matter of fact' tone. "Why do you think, you're still the only man I've ever been with?"

"I know that's not true." I looked at her over my shoulder. She just tipped her forehead forward, shooting me a blank stare. "I'm honoured then."

"You shouldn't be. I never really liked you, when you were a man."

"Why were you with me for years then?"

"Because I loved you as a woman." She dropped the finished braid and moved on to the next one.

"You see how that's a problem for me, right?" I asked and sighed.

"You're a douche when you're a guy, Saga. I'll bet my fingers you were in a male form when you spat Seth in the face. I bet you've only been a douche to him a small number of times, when you've been female." She gently brushed a knot out of my hair with her fingers, leaving me to ponder on her words in silence. It wasn't like this was news to me.

Seth would probably say something like 'it is all the testosterone, amor. It makes you a douche', or something science-y like that. But she wasn't necessarily right. I was a douche no matter what gender I had.

"I try to be better for him," I said quietly.

"You are better than you used to, you know," she said, stilling her hands. "When I met you... I knew you were an addict. You were never clean when you were with me. But you are with him."

"He would kick my ass if I wasn't."

"I know. And I wouldn't. I thought it was a part of you, I just had to accept. But Seth, he sees something in you, I never saw. He saw you happy."

I turned around and frowned at her. She shrugged.

"You were never happy with me, and you know it." She rose to her feet and cracked her slender fingers. "So," she said her eyes glowing. "What are you going to say to Seth?"

"I am probably going to say something incredibly stupid. And not as profound as something he could come up with." I stayed on the floor.

"Nobody ever expects you to be profound, Saga. Just be honest." She shrugged again and left me alone in the gym.

I groaned loudly and fell down on my back, staring at the ceiling. I heard voices and didn't feel like talking to anyone, so I teleported back to my own corridor, hoping to find Seth in the bedroom. But it was empty. I walked back towards the cafeteria.

He was sitting with his dad and didn't look very happy. He rose to his feet the minute I walked in. I walked over to him as he put his hands on his hips. He raised his eyebrows a bit.

"Listen, Seth... I'm sorry."

"Yeah? Good for you," he growled. He said something in Spanish, walked around me and almost stomped out of the cafeteria, everybody immediately jumping out of his way in fear of getting trampled.

"Do I even want to know what he said?" I asked quietly and looked down at Adonai, who was inspecting his cup very thoroughly. He slowly lifted his head and met my eyes.

"That is something that should stay between the two of you," he said after a while.

"Yeah, I didn't think so," I said under my breath and turned around getting ready to leave.

"Hey, Soul Eater..."

"That's not my fucking name, and you know that," I growled and turned back towards Adonai.

"Saga," he said calmly. "Seth wants us to talk."

"I think he wanted that before he started muttering profanities in Spanish under his breath."

Adonai nodded to the seats in front of him. I clenched my fists and sat down.

"You made it pretty clear the last time. I don't want to talk. Let's just pretend we're friends for Seth."

Adonai took a very deep breath and loudly exhaled. He tapped his fingers on the surface of the table.

"I know you mean a lot to him. He... Loves you," he said and cringed a bit.

"Yeah, it must be fucking horrible for you, huh?" I snapped.

What was wrong with me?! My boyfriend's dad was trying here, and I was being a total jackass. I just couldn't reign in anything right now, and the pounding in my head just kept reminding me how much I wanted to get high.

"No," he just said. "We've... We have our past, Saga."

"Care to enlighten me there? I don't remember much."

"Well, you killed my brothers, beat them and me up, killed hundreds of thousands of mortals and took out half of Asia, does that enlighten you?" He took a deep breath and clenched his fists on top of the table. I rose to my feet and looked down at him.

"You know what. You always thought you were so much better than me, but Eri made you too. The God of Gods made you do shit too. Get that stick out of your ass and go fuck yourself with it."

I whirled around and went back to Seth's and my room. There wasn't a lot of other places I was sure Seth would return to. And I could be alone there. I opened the door to find the room empty again. I needed to let him cool off. I think. I had never seen him this angry. Or well, I had never seen him this angry at me.

And now I had pissed off both angels, that were supposed to be my family. If I could just remember why Adonai was so goddamn hostile. Then again all the angels were. I had killed their loved ones. Was I really that surprised? They all had every right to hate me, for what I had done. I was a piece of godly garbage.

I was left waiting for him for hours. He knew very well I was here. I mean, the man could sense my presence. He had even told me he could differentiate between the different gods, even when we were all in the same room.

The door finally opened, and Seth walked in. He closed the door behind him and put the kindle I got him on the small bedside table.

"Seth... I'm..." The look on his face stopped me. "I'm sorry."

He pressed his lips into a thin line, the scar over his lips paling. "I shouldn't have spat in your face... And I'm sorry."

He just shifted his weight from one foot to the other, still looking incredibly angry at me.

"I'm directing my anger at the wrong people and I know that. I'm not handling any of this very well, and you're just trying to help. And I... Understand where you're coming from. I know I'm dangerous, and you're just making sure I don't go crazy again... And I get it. I'm irrational and I make knee-jerk decisions all the time. And I'm sorry, okay?"

I started fingering the blanket on the bed, so scared he was going to end it all. Leave me. "Please say something."

"I am still waiting for you to drop the bullshit," he said coolly.

I wasn't getting around telling him this time. But I didn't want him to know. I really didn't want him to know about... That.

"I don't want you to know about it."

"That might be true, but you said you wanted to tell me, so tell me." There was no softness or love in his voice like there usually were.

"Seth I..." I pulled my knees up. "Eri... He..."

I shifted but telling the truth in male form didn't seem any easier. I shifted back and just wanted to be even smaller. I shifted to my original form.

"He... I can't.... He..." I had the words on my tongue but saying them would... Make it real. I hadn't stopped to think about it really. I mean, I would talk to Eri for less than ten seconds sometimes. Yell at him mostly. And then I would think about how it started. The sound of my shirt ripping and then I would stop thinking about it.

"He touched me..." I whispered. "While I... Was this... And he... Stole something. From inside of me..." I closed my eyes and shifted back to the dark-skinned male, I had made up.

"He did... What?"

I looked up only to find Seth looking completely mortified. And pale.

"The day... The day he stole your wings... He... Kindle stopped him before... But she believed him when he said, he wasn't doing anything. She saw it with her own eyes, but she still believed what he told her." I shifted again, this time to a male version of my original form. "I... Didn't want you to know. I don't want anybody to know."

"Did he..." He cringed and ran his hand through his hair. "Did he rape you?"

I bit down on my lip. "Not exactly. Kindle stopped him. And he got kind of preoccupied with the whole energy stealing thing... Please don't tell anybody."

Seth crouched down next to the bed and ran his hands through his hair again. "I am not telling a soul." He looked up at me. "Can I touch your hand?"

I put my feet down on the floor and stretched my arm out towards him. He slowly and gently laced his fingers with mine and looked at our hands.

"I understand why you're mad at me... And this is not an excuse. I know that. But I am having a... Hard time right now. And I'm sorry..." My voice cracked and died. He looked up at me and the anger was back. So much anger.

"I am not angry anymore," he said, his voice shaking. "Not at you, anyways."

His voice grew softer and so did his face. He smoothed his thumb over my hand. I dropped down on the floor and he slightly spread his arms out, like he was going to hug me, but he stopped. I leaned forward and placed my forehead on his shoulder. He gently encircled me in his arms.

"I have to kill him, Seth," I murmured.

"I understand. I have to too."

I didn't understand what he meant. I shifted to female and let him hold me until it became too much, and I shifted back again.

"I don't care about the shifting, Saga," he said after a while of silence. I pulled out from him, so I could look at him.

"Why are you saying that now?"

"Because I felt like I needed to remind you." He brushed his thumb over my lips and smiled a bit. He turned serious again and his gaze locked with mine. "Don't ever spit in my face again."

"I won't."

"I had to say it."

"I get it. Nobody but you ever puts me in my place."

"Well, nobody dares to. You scare people."

"Why do people keep saying that?" I threw my arms out to the sides and sighed. "I am not actively trying to be scary."

"You're not really trying actively not to be scary either," he murmured calmly.

"You're not afraid of me," I said and pouted like a child. He snorted, pulled me close and tipped my head up so I was looking at him.

"No," he said and kissed me. "But I have known you for a long time now. And we've lived together for quite a while. You lose some of the scary factor when I've has seen you sing karaoke with drunk Korean business guys in New York."

I laughed at the memory. Seth had a lovely singing voice when he was drunk.

"I remember you singing Spice Girls," I said and smirked.

"And you promised you would never bring that up again." He leaned in and kissed me again, lingering on my lips. And then he started singing. Badly and out of tune.

I burst out laughing, and he swooped me off the floor. And continued to sing.

"I get your point, Seth," I laughed and draped my arms around his neck. It looked he was going to keep going but I pressed my lips to his and stopped him.