I laid next to Roman, glad to be able to hold onto him again. It feels like it's been forever since he was in my arms.

Sure, we've seen each other around in school and talk during the classes we have together, and Roman does drive me to school every morning. It's just been a while since we've gotten time together.

The last time Roman took me out to do something grand was when he took me to Lake Erie. And though that night had been absolutely magical, it was like three or four months ago.

Roman nuzzled closer to me as we watched Disney's The Santa Claus for the third time this week.

"I'm never letting you go again." He said as he kissed me. I rolled my eyes and smiled.

"And here I thought I was the clingy one."

"I might just steal your title." Roman said, smirking.

I gasp. "You wouldn't dare."

"Oh, but I would." Roman said, cackling.

"Hmph." I pouted, turning away from him. Roman immediately turned and hugged me.

"Aww, I'm sorry. You know I'd never be able to win the clingy contest."

"Damn straight." I mumbled, turning to cuddle with him again.

Roman laughed as we continued to watch the movie. It was nice, just the two of us finally sitting down after a long school day. It was perfect.

Until, my phone rang and ruined the moment. I sighed as I looked at it to see who was calling.

"Logan's calling me."

Roman rolled his eyes. "Ugh, don't answer. He's been a real jerk to Patton."

"Shh." I said as I picked up the phone.

"Hel-"

"PattontriedtokillhimselfandnowhesinthehospitalanditsallmyfaultandIwanthimtobeokand-"

"Ok, ok, there Logan. Slow down."

I could hear Logan take a shaky breath through the other end. I heard Patton's name, so I put it on speaker so both princey and I could hear.

"Patton," He began. "He.."

"Take your time." I reminded him.

I could hear someone crying on the other end. Was that him? I looked at Roman, concerned. He was just as worried as I was.

"Patton tried to k-kill himself a-and now he's been ho-hospitalized and I-I know it's all my fault a-and.."

"Logan. This isn't your fault. Roman and I will be right over, ok?"

"O-ok.." He said quietly.

"I'll see you soon. Hang in there, ok?" I said and hung up. Roman was shaking.

"Patton tried to..."

"Princey, we have to go there right now. Give me your keys. I'm driving."

Roman handed me his keys slowly, as if he wasn't really paying attention to anything anymore. I grabbed his arm and raced down the stairs and into the car.

Roman climbed in the passenger seat and buckled as I hopped into the drivers seat, turned on the car, backed out, and floored the gas petal to the hospital.

-

The nurse let us sit down in the waiting room. My eyes immediately went to scan for Logan. And sure enough, he was sitting in a corner in his normal clothes. Though he hardly looked like himself.

His glasses were on the table beside him as he held his head in his hands, rocking slightly back and forth. His normally neat hair was ruffled and all out of place. I rushed over to him and bent down in front of him.

"Logan? It's Virgil."

Logan stopped rocking and nodded slowly.

"Can you move your hands for me?"

For a second he didn't move, and I thought he wasn't going to until he slowly set his hands on his lap. His eyes were bloodshot and I could see the tears still streaming down his face.

He was so embarrassed he couldn't even look at me.

I could see clear as day he was blaming himself.

"Is he..is he at least alive?" Roman asked Logan.

Logan didn't say anything.

"An answer would be nice." Roman added coldly. I shot him a look.

"Roman, don't be cold. He's just as upset as we are."

"He made it clear that he wants nothing to do with Patton."

Logan started shaking again as he covered his face again.

"I'm sorry..I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm SORRY!" Logan cried out, sobbing.

I hugged Logan tightly as I turned to Roman.

'What in gods name was that?' I mouthed to him.

Roman just stared at me. I could tell he regretted what he said.

I held Logan in my arms as I let him get it all out. Once he had calmed down a little, I talked calm and quietly as to not startle this fragile figure.

"Logan..could you explain what happened?"

He let go of me and sat back in his chair. He took a deep breath and began explaining.

"I..I was just doing my homework, and..I felt I needed to go apologize to Patton. I lied to him, and he at least deserved to know the truth.."

"What truth? When did you lie?" Roman asked, being slightly more stern than I was.

"I..I did love him-I do. But...the last time I loved someone I let them..."

He took a deep breath before he said the last bit quickly.

"I killed them."

Roman looked wide eyed at me.

"What do you mean..killed?" I asked.

"My sister...I-I...we were playing a stupid game and she..she drowned."

My heart broke a little, as Logan continued.

"I was right there, I-I could've done something. She..she was holding her breath to win a bet and..I lost. I waited for her to come up but...b-but.."

"Oh my god.." Roman said under his breath.

"Logan, that wasn't your fault." I said without a doubt.

"I-It was. I was barely five feet away, and all I did was wait until she..she floated back up."

"Loga-"

"And I made a promise not to feel ever again. The pain and guilt was driving me insane. And besides, I loved her, and because I did, she's..gone. I am a danger to everyone."

It pained me to see how this trauma he faced left such a huge impression on himself.

"Logan, you aren't a danger."

"Yes I am! I tried to..to save Patton by getting him away from me. And because of my stupid decision I got to see him hanging from a-"

He began crying again. This time Roman was the one to comfort him.

"Logan, listen to me. I'm so sorry for your loss all that time ago, but what you've done to yourself isn't healthy. Burying your feelings down to shrivel and die never works. They always come back."

Logan was still crying as Roman continued.

"And you think you're a danger? Sure, you made a mistake, but you saved his life, Logan. You are the one who saved him. Not me, nor Virgil, or even Patton's own father. It was you."

A nurse walked in. "Logan Smith?"

"He's right here." I said as Logan quickly began to collect himself.

"My name is nurse Jones. I'm here about Patton Tyler."

"And??" Roman asked, eagerly.

"He is in stable condition and is currently unconscious. He might want to see someone when he wakes."

Roman looked like he wanted to step up, but he motioned to Logan, sighing. "He'll want to see Logan."

Logan nodded and put his glasses back on. The nurse walked over to me and whispered in my ear. "I'm normally not allowed to do this. Don't mention this to anyone."

I nodded, thanking the nurse a thousand times as she left with Logan.

I sat down on the chair Logan sat in and Roman sat down next to me.

I held his hand, reassuringly. "He's alive, Roman. It's ok.." my voice began to shake as I finally let out the tears I had been holding in. "He's alive."

Roman turned to me. He was crying too. We hugged, and stayed like that as we waited for three painful hours until we finally got to see Patton again.

-

The nurse walked me to the third room on the right and opened the door. A light blue curtain covering the half of the room where Patton was greeted us when we walked in. She moved the curtain just enough so I could walk in.

"I'll be back in around a half hour. I'm normally not allowed to do this, so please keep quiet, alright?"

I nodded. "T-thank you." The kind nurse smiled and closed the curtain and left the room.

I looked at Patton, who was unconscious on the bed. His neck was bandaged and one of his hands was handcuffed to the railing of the bed. There were bags under his eyes, and he looked skinnier.

But he was breathing.

And quite frankly, that's all I could afford to think about at the given moment.

I pulled a chair next to the bed and held Patton's hand. I began crying again. Though it was painful as a child, I welcomed the tears.

"I'm so sorry, Patton," I said. "I didn't mean anything I said. I love you. I.."

Even though I knew he wouldn't respond, I kept talking to him, not once looking up from his hand.

"I lied because I didn't want to hurt you..but I ended up doing it anyway."

"I..I had a sister once. She was my twin. Her name was..Lydia." I smiled sadly as her name rolled off my tongue.

"She was always kind and encouraged me to get better at things. She was also really competitive. And one day we...we went to the lake together. She challenged me to a breath holding contest."

I'd never talked about this to anyone. It felt weird. Somehow wrong.

"I had always wanted to prove myself to her, you know? She was always so strong, I wanted nothing more than to be just like her. I wanted to so bad, I let it cloud my judgement and I accepted her challenge."

"It was fine at first. I, of course, lost. I waited for her to come up. A minute went by before I began to worry. It wasn't until a minute too late I saw her..I saw her...corpse...float up to the top of the water."

"I just..."

"I didn't want you to die too. And look where it all got me.." I said.

I laid my head down on the side of the bed, exhausted as I continued to cry.

I can't remember when, but I eventually fell asleep.

-

I woke up almost three hours later. The sun was setting, and despite my sleep, I was still exhausted.

The beeping of the heart monitor began to beep faster. I began panicking, thinking he had possibly gone into cardiac arrest.

Fortunately, instead of that, his eyes slowly began to open. I stopped breathing for a moment.

"Lo..?" His voice was raspy and strained.

I cried, holding his hand. "I'm here...I'm here and I'm so so sorry..." I said, almost immediately starting to cry again. I was a mess.

"I didn't mean it, I-I didn't...I.."

Patton slowly began to move his hand to my cheek and wiped away my tears.

"I know..you didn't. I..I heard you. But I..I'm not sure I can..believe it."

"I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, I don't deserve anything, but-"

"That's..not what I..mean."

I looked up at him, confused.

"I'm not sure..I can believe...you'd actually love..someone like...me."

"Don't talk like that, Patton. I love you more than I have literally loved anyone in ten years. And I'll be damned if I ever leave you alone again."

Patton smiled as I tried to stop crying.

"It's ok, Lo...I'm here...I'm..I'm alive.."

I stood up from my chair and kissed him slowly, trying to put all my love into this one kiss. I could feel Patton smile as he kissed me back.

Patton was real, Patton loved me. And if my attempt to get rid of him had proved anything to me, it was a wakeup call that he was the one person I had to keep closest to me.

And I swear to god, I'm never letting him stray far away from me ever again.

"I love you Patton. I love you so much." I say, sitting back down in my chair and kissing his hand.

"I love you too, Logan. More than...the stars themselves."

-