《*taekook*》013
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Taehyung should have known that he didn't mean anything. He was a hooker, after all. Why should mighty Jeon Jeongguk give a fuck about him? He was nothing. He meant nothing. He would never be anything compared to beautiful famous girls. The interview had just proved that.
That's how he found himself at Minho's dingy apartment. He knew he shouldn't be there. Minho was dangerous, Minho was possessive and unpredictable. He hadn't seen Minho in four months. Why go back now? Jeongguk wasn't worth it.
But Minho had drugs. And Minho loved Taehyung.
Taehyung needed love. He craved it almost more than he craved the bite of a needle on his skin.
"Taehyung?" Minho said, confused, letting Taehyung inside without hesitation. Taehyung smiled weakly, kicking off his shoes.
"Are you busy?" Taehyung asked, knowing full well that he wasn't. Minho shrugged.
"Depends on what you want," he retorted, making Taehyung grin and shrug back.
"Depends on what you have," Taehyung shot back. The two of them laughed, though Taehyung felt fake. Minho lead him into the cramped bedroom, pulling up a backpack from under the bed.
"Anything in particular you're looking for?" Minho asked, knowing fully what Taehyung liked.
"I want to get fucked up," was all he said, and they did .
Taehyung felt a strange mixture of euphoria and dirtiness, felt like he was floating but also like he'd just betrayed Jeongguk and Yoongi and Jimin, everyone who was rooting for him to stay clean.
Minho had to go "out," whatever that meant, so Taehyung found himself kicked out, not knowing what to do.
He didn't go home; instead, he walked to Jeongguk's house, lavish and high-end. Taehyung sat down at the gate, burying his head in his hands and letting out a harsh breath. Stupid Jeongguk. Stupid Jeongguk and his money and his beautiful co-stars who would be much better for him than Taehyung ever would be.
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"Taehyung?" Jeongguk's voice called out. Taehyung had forgotten about the motion sensors at the front of his gate. Stupid rich Jeongguk.
"Sorry, I was just leaving," Taehyung yelled back, scrambling away from the opening gate. His words slurred together, wavering, his body swaying as he got up. Jeongguk was standing in front of him, dressed in a hoodie and pajama pants, as if he didn't just completely fucking shatter Taehyung a few hours ago.
"Woah, Tae, are- are you high?" Jeongguk asked, something in his voice almost deceiving Taehyung into thinking that he cared. Taehyung wiped at his eyes, still trying to walk backwards, away from Jeongguk.
"Yeah, what does it matter?" Taehyung slurred, trying his best to sound angry. In all honesty, he just sounded pathetic, needy and broken.
"Tae... why?" Jeongguk choked out, finally close enough to see Taehyung's face. Jeongguk was scared, scared that Taehyung was going to collapse again, that this time Namjoon wouldn't get there in time and Taehyung wouldn't wake up.
"What do you care? I'm a fucking hooker, Jeongguk! I- The only reason you're with me is- I'm just- I'm a quick fuck. That's all I am. A quick, meaningless fuck. You're... You're Jeon Jeongguk, you're famous and put together and you don't... you don't need me. You've got Hyojin, yeah? Pretty and rich. You don' need me, you don'..." Taehyung blurted, heart beating rapidly. "I'm broken. I'm fucking broken ."
Jeongguk didn't say anything, staring at Taehyung with wide eyes. He's right, Jeongguk thought, he's just supposed to be a meaningless fuck. He was supposed to be a fun little relationship.
"You're not," he said instead, his heart speaking what his mind couldn't even think. Taehyung laughed bitterly, a disturbing smile on his face. He looked so wrecked, eyes red-rimmed, bare arms still beading blood. Jeongguk took his wrist gently, staring at the upraised scars, the old needle marks and the new ones.
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"Do you even know what those are from? I tried to kill myself. After I found my mom dead in the bathroom, I tried to kill myself, just like she did. You know why?" Taehyung asked, voice shaking. "I didn't want to have to live alone with my dad."
"Taehyung-" Jeongguk tried, completely shaken, but Taehyung kept going.
"'Cause he'd sell me to his friends, make me cooperate, beat me when I didn't listen. He made my life a living fucking hell. ' You gotta do your share, Tae. Pay your part. ' The worst thing is that I kept doing it. Still do. I remember his fucking face every time he'd hit me. But my mom had it worse, and that's why- why she- she left me-" Taehyung sobbed, his knees giving out. Jeongguk tried to hold him up, but Taehyung fell too quickly, the two of them falling together.
"I'm sorry," Jeongguk whispered, pulling the distressed boy into his arms. Taehyung didn't bother resisting, hitting Jeongguk's chest weakly.
"You'll l-leave me too," he cried, voice so quiet Jeongguk had to strain his ears. "You're not interested in love. I'm an i-idiot. Go have a s-scandal with Hyojin instead."
Jeongguk's heart stopped, remembering the interview from earlier that day. I'll be listening .
"I won't leave you. I'm not going to leave unless you want me to, Taehyung, I swear," Jeongguk promised. Taehyung only sobbed harder, shivering into Jeongguk's arms.
When Jeongguk went to stand, Taehyung panicked, pulling Jeongguk in even closer, sobs getting louder.
"No! Nonono don't let me go please," Taehyung rambled, breaking Jeongguk's heart. Gently, he lifted Taehyung, bringing him inside. Yoongi was there still, sitting at the kitchen table, but he stood when he saw Taehyung.
"He's... he got high again. I'm taking him to my room to sleep it off," Jeongguk explained shortly, his point emphasized by a sob from Taehyung, buried in Jeongguk's shoulder. Yoongi nodded, face falling slightly at the news. Even Min Yoongi had been rooting for him.
Taehyung was crying softly when Jeongguk finally laid him in bed, the sobs died down to quiet whimpers and sniffles.
"I'm sorry," he muttered again, already half asleep. Jeongguk swallowed harshly, not saying anything. Taehyung whined again, a choked noise escaping. "S-Stay with me? Please, please, I don't care if- if you d-don't love me, just... pretend, please , pretend."
"Tae-" Jeongguk tried to say, but the words got stuck as a tear finally fell. Taehyung had quieted, his breathing mellowing out as his high faded and sleep took him. Jeongguk lay awake, the broken boy in his arms, and realized that he was so in love with Kim Taehyung, he didn't know what to do.
"I love you," he whispered, burying his face into Taehyung's hair gently. "I love you, Taehyung, I love you so much."
That's why he had to leave. Jeongguk loved him too much.
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