Happy April fools! And no- this is an actual update, not a joke xD

Please read the author's note since there will be an important announcement regarding Stigma that I want you to be aware of (':

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The sound of a mini-earthquake next to my head caused by my phone's vibrations startles me awake from the first peaceful sleep I've had in weeks. Groaning in misery, I blindly flail with my hand until I grab onto the vibrating devil, only opening my eyes to a squint in hopes to not get blinded by the screen's brightness.

The fact that I can't even get one night of peaceful sleep.. Universe, why?

I succeed to pick up the call on my third attempted swipe.

"Jimin?" I mumble sleepily. "Somebody better be dying if you're calling me this late."

I hear him chuckle nervously.

"Heey Blueee," he replies a bit too cheerfully, instantly making me suspicious over whatever favor he's going to ask. "Did I wake you up?"

"It's frickin' two in the morning, I was milking my cow YES I WAS SLEEPING."

"I'm really sorry to wake you up like this, but there was no one else I could turn to.."

I knew it. "What is it?"

"I'm really sorry to ask you this and please please pleeease don't hang up-"

"I won't! Just drop the bombshell on me already."

I hear him inhale and exhale loudly. "So Jackson just called.. saying that Taehyung is a mess and someone needs to get him home. Apparently he's passed out on Jackson's parents bed."

My brain literally couldn't process what he said for ten seconds. This has to be a joke. Is this a dream? How does one voluntarily wake up from a dream?

"Please don't say you hung up.." he whines.

"Are you serious right now?" I finally mutter after accepting that this conversation was actually happening.

"I'm really sorry, trust me if there was anyone else I could've called, I would. I know that he's the last person you want to see right now but there's no one else who can get him."

"Why can't you get him?"

"I'm in Jeju with my family. Yoongi, Kook, Joon and Jin are also out of town. Hoseok is with Areum's family somewhere I heard, too. I checked with all of them before I called you so you're literally my only hope."

I scrunch my eyes tight, feeling the nervousness crawling under my skin causing my heartbeat to increase. "Jimin I don't know.. Why can't they just call an uber for him?"

"They don't know where he lives and they can't get any words out of him. Trust me, he's so drunk he won't even be able to recognize you. Just.. please, do it for me. See it as returning me the favor for helping you study."

God damn it.. I could just hang up and ignore him, but I honestly don't have the heart to do it. If he's that drunk then all I have to do is get him home. No talking.. no conversation.

You can do this.

I can do this..

I let out a deep, deep sigh. "Fine."

Oh my God I'm actually doing this.

I hear him sighing in relief. "You're an angel. Thank you so much for doing this, I'm really sorry that it had to be you."

"It's okay, don't worry about it. Get some sleep, okay?"

"Thank you three-thousand again," he coos, making me roll my eyes playfully before hanging up. Welp.. looks like I have to get up and get dressed then.

Sliding into some jeans and an oversized hoodie, I carefully tiptoe down the stairs and exit the house without making a sound. After Jimin sends the location to Jackson's house, I commence the journey to bring my drunk ex back to his house. Frickin' yay.

Truthfully.. I have been dying to see him, just to get a glimpse of how he's doing. Mom's words of wisdom have kept my mind busy for days and I can't stop thinking about what I should do. If I see him one more time, maybe it'll be more clear to me what my final choice will be. The fact that he got wasted like Jimin said he is just sounds like he hasn't made any progress at all, and I can't help but worry about him.

Rolling into the secluded neighbourhood, I park the car just by the house and take a deep breath before stepping out and walking up to the door. Judging from the absence of people and noise, I'm guessing the party is near its end. I step into the house without knocking, waltzing and looking around for any sign of life. A blonde, muscular guy comes into my view, carrying stacks of bowls and red cups in his hands.

"Uh hi, do you know where Jackson is?" I ask him when we make eye-contact. He flashes me a bright, crooked grin.

"Well that handsome dude would be me," he says, his raspy voice surprising me.

"Oh great! I'm Blue, I came to pick up Taehyung."

His facial expression turns into a real smug one for some reason, but his grin widens and he exhales in relief. "Phew! Thank God. I'd let him stay if my parents weren't coming home early. Let me just leave these in the kitchen. He's in my parent's room upstairs, second door to the left. I'll help you get him out."

I nod and he scurries off to the kitchen while I leave to find Tae. My heart is beating nervously when I find the room, trying not to freak out over the fact that I'm going to see him for the first time after our breakup. When I finally gather enough courage to open the door, my heart melts in a second upon seeing his body curled up on the king sized bed sleeping soundly.

Like a punch in the gut, I become aware of how painfully much I actually missed him. I even unknowingly held my breath for a moment while processing all these enhanced emotions.

"Still sleeping like a rock I see," Jackson says, appearing out of nowhere beside me and startling me slightly. I force myself to snap out of my trance, not wanting Jackson to question my association with Tae in case the emotions decides to erupt.

"For how long has he been out?" I ask with a chuckle as we approach the bed.

"Oof.. two hours maybe? Something must've happened to him because I've never seen him lose his shit like that."

My stomach churns worryingly. "How much did he drink?"

He shakes his head. "Way too much. He'll feel like complete shit when he wakes up, that's for sure. Anyways, let's get him downstairs."

So we proceed to lift Taehyung's ragdoll-like body up from the bed, the action making him mumble in his sleep. Jackson and I stifle a laugh before we drag ourselves down the stairs and through the front yard. We decide to dump him on the backseats of the car because he physically can't sit up straight without any support.

"Did he bring anything? Phone? Jacket?" I ask after shutting the door closed.

"Lol I almost forgot, be right back!" he laughs and hurries back into the house. I smile to myself, look up on the starry sky and let out a sigh. That Jackson guy is pretty cool, I really hope that Taehyung didn't cause him too much trouble.

It doesn't take long until he comes back with Taehyung's jacket, grinning as he approaches me. "Found it!" he beams and hands it over to me.

"Nice. I'm so sorry if Taehyung did anything problematic.."

"Nah he didn't, don't worry about it. I just wanna ask.. How do you two know each other?"

And there it is.

"We're in the same class and friendship group," I reply, hoping that there won't be any follow up questions to that. But his eyes narrowing at me as his eyebrow arches tells me that this conversation isn't going to end just yet.

"That's it?"

I narrow my eyes back at him. "Why?"

A grin tugs on the edge of his mouth. "Some rumours circulated around town that he has girlfriend, and he happened to mumble your name a few times after passing out, so..."

Oh for frick's sake-

"Ex girlfriend," I breathe, trying to not choke up. He frowns immediately.

"Oh shit," he gasps. "Don't tell me he did something stupid?"

I chuckle sadly. "Uh, you could say that."

"Awh man, that explains everything. V is a handful.. after four years worth of parties with him I know that you have to be a wizard or something to get through to him. I'm sorry if he hurt you, but the blame is all on him, okay?"

"It's okay. I kind of knew what I was getting myself into so.."

"He must have really liked you if he let you into his life like that. You did the impossible," he chuckles, somehow managing to lighten the atmosphere, even making me chuckle with him. "I have to head back and clean up now, but it was really nice to meet you. Take care, okay?"

I smile and nod. "I'll be fine. Thank you and sorry again," I say.

We bid our farewells, my feet dragging me to the driver's seat where I sit down with a sigh. I leave Taehyung's jacket on the passenger seat and look at his sleeping form.

"You idiot.." I mumble under my breath before rolling onto the road, on my way to Tae's house.

Why does he have to be so complicated? Many of his problems would probably get solved if he just talked about them, at least to the people closest to him. The people around him that genuinely cares about him noticed that there's something up, but he keeps acting like they're oblivious to it. I really wonder how deeply his issues actually goes; it seems as if his parents' fight affected him in several different ways, and what I know is maybe just scratching the surface to unveiling it all.

He really makes loving him as painful as it can get.

After parking the car in front of his house, I stare at his limp body in the backseat and contemplate the best way to get him up to his room. I start off with finding his keys in his jacket and unlock the door. Then I return to the car and brace myself for the tricky part. After struggling to get his body up a number of times, I eventually manage to support him on my back and I could finally proceed with getting him into the house.

I pause for a breather when reaching the stairs, mentally preparing myself yet again for the absolute torment that is waiting for me -- and I might or might not be mentally killing Jimin for making me do this.

I can't believe I'm dragging his unconscious ass up these goddamn stairs AGAIN.

It was safe to say that there wasn't a single muscle in my body that didn't hurt when he was finally laying on his bed, I had to sit down on the floor for a moment just so I wouldn't pass out. After recollecting myself, I proceed to slowly and carefully take his shoes off one by one -- mission success.

Noticing some stains on his shirt, not wanting to know if it's from a drink or vomit, I make him sit up and begin to pull it off of him. My heart almost jumps out of my chest in fear when his hands suddenly grabs mine and shoves me away from him.

"I'm not having sex with you, stop undressing me," he slurs while pulling down his shirt again. "I have a girlfriend."

I didn't even know how to process this entire situation anymore. The fact that he's so drunk that he literally can't recognize me but claims that we're still a couple makes me feel all sort of emotions.

"Your shirt is dirty, you have to take it off."

"No it's nooot- wait.. is this my room? How did I get here? Why are you here? How did you get in?" he rambles sleepily, I could barely hear half of what he said.

"Jackson told me to take you home because you're too drunk. Just take your goddamn shirt off and go to sleep."

"But I don't wanna sleeeeep I'm thirstyyyy," he whines.

Why do I get the feeling that this will be a long, long night.

I sigh silently. "I'll go get you some water."

After filling up a large glass with cold water I return to the room to a shirtless Tae sitting on the bed, my heart twisting at the sight. His shoulders used to be full and muscular, but now they're visibly thinner. The same goes for his arms and entire upper body.

He hasn't been eating?

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I walk up to him and place the edge of the glass against his lips. "Sip it slowly, or else you'll feel sick," I instruct him, tilting the glass for him so he could drink.

"Thank youuu," he coos after I set the glass down on the bedside table. "I don't know who you are, but you're like super kind."

This boy doesn't even recognize my voice? Damn. Though, I can't help but to chuckle at him. "You do know me."

"I do? Maybe I do... You really remind me of someone though.."

"Who?"

"My girlfriend," he murmurs, smiling briefly before his expression changes to a somber one. Sorrow engulfs me then, the pain I've gone through these last couple of weeks resurfacing again and tearing at the mental wounds that barely started healing. "She broke up with me.."

I clench my jaw, holding the tears back.

"I can trust you, right?" he suddenly mumbles, squinting at me tiredly.

"Sure," I manage to whisper, throat still clogged with tears.

"I hurt her. I didn't want to but it just happened.. I knew I fucked up, but when I saw her crying.." He pauses for a moment, biting his lip. I just look at him, not knowing if my heart hurts because of what he did or because we're both on the verge of bursting into tears. "Seeing her cry made me hate myself, and I knew I didn't deserve her anymore."

I frown sadly. "Don't hate yourself.." I say gently.

"It's all my dad's fault. I'm just like him.. just as sick and fucked up as he was."

That's what he thinks about himself? It hurts to hear him say things like that.

"Tae, you're not your dad," I breathe, struggling even more to hold back my tears. "You have a pure heart.. please realize that." I instinctively let my fingers brush the hair that fell over his forehead, growing more emotional for every second passing.

His hand limply wrap around my wrist, making me halt any movements.

"Can you stay here for a while? I don't want to sleep yet," he murmurs.

I honestly don't know for how long I can stay before finally breaking down. I wasn't prepared for him to be semi-conscious, even less open up to me, and right now I realize how far away I am from being ready to face him.

"I'm sorry but I can't stay.. And you need to sleep-" I say while slowly starting to sit up from the bed, but him suddenly pulling my wrist catches me off guard and I end up almost crashing into the headboard. I look down on him and notice that my hair accidentally sprawled over his face in the process, and the next thing I know is that his arms lock around my back and a second later my chest is pressing against his.

I hear him inhale deeply, face positioned in the crook of my neck. My heart is pounding so hard that I could hear it. When I try to move he only hugs me tighter.

"Blue," he breathes against my neck, inhaling again. "You smell like Blue.."

I couldn't speak, my mind entering a panicked state. His hands slowly moves up and down my back, holding me close as he nuzzles his face closer.

"I've missed you. I've missed you so much," he murmurs softly. "Are you really here?"

Being on the verge of tears, I swallow hard and breathe in slowly before I could answer him. "I'm here," I whisper, feeling one tear slip out. "I've missed you, too.."

Silence falls over us for a moment, only being disrupted by Taehyung's quiet sniffles as his chest starts trembling against mine.

"No.. you're not real. It's just like that dream again.. You're just a dream."

"What dream?"

"Blue hates me.. she said she'd never forgive me."

Where did he get that from? Why would he think that?

"I don't hate you, Tae. I could never hate you.." I reassure him softly.

I really wonder what keeps him from trying to move on and detach himself from his past. He never really told me what was actually going on inside his head, so how could I possibly had known how to help him? What can I say to make him understand that he doesn't need to go through it on his own; that it's okay to open up?

A final push, that's what he needs; and I'm going to give it to him.

I unglue myself from Taehyung's grip, lifting my body just slightly from his so I can look him in the eyes while my hands cup his cheeks. My movement causes him to reveal his puffy eyes, tugging at each and every one of my heartstrings.

"Look at me, Tae. Please listen to me. I know I've told you many times that you can tell me anything, and I only did that because I wanted to understand you better and what you've been through. Whatever happened in your family impacted you negatively and you never managed to move on completely because you kept it inside you all these years. Please, talk to someone about it because there are people willing to help you and listen to you."

I have no idea if there's any point in telling him all this when I'm not sure that he's even half conscious or aware of reality, but I hope that he'll subconsciously remember at least some of it.

"My dad already said that I should get therapy.. But he's the reason why I'm like this. She was the only hope I had, but now I don't have anyone-"

"Taehyung, you're not alone. Your friends care about you. Your family cares about you.. I care about you. They regret what they did but the past is in the past. Listen to your dad. He did bad things but he got help and changed, right? He was probably struggling and never opened up about it, just like what you're doing right now. Break the pattern. If he could change, then you can move on."

My tone is serious and almost demanding, hoping that he will hear my desperation. Seeing his eyes gloss up even more until new tears start rolling down the sides of his face and onto my fingers, gives me enough hope that he actually absorbed my message.

"You think I can be okay again?" he merely whispers, voice sounding so incredibly vulnerable and desperate. I bite my lip in attempt to keep myself together.

There's nothing in this world I want more than for you to be happy again. Please realize that you are allowed to let go and find your way out of the dark.

"You will be okay again. I know you will. When you finally let people help you, then you will be okay," I assure him, caressing his cheeks gently. He only nods several times in reply, tears streaming down one after another. I can't even begin to explain how much it hurts to see him cry like this. Knowing that he's someone that never breaks down, this just tells me that he's truly and deeply anguished.

"Everything will be okay," I murmur gently. "Tae, I really have to go now but please promise me that you'll remember what I said-"

"Nononono don't leave me please don't go I don't want to let you go again!" he utters in panic, grabbing onto my hands and holding them tightly. "You're all I have.. I'm a mess without you.."

"I won't leave you, Tae. If you promise me that you'll get help, you can find me and we'll talk again. I'm always here to listen to you, my doors are always open for you."

He looks at me with wide eyes. "I'll do anything you say-"