《cocaine》Vampires

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Vampires are such a cliché.

You want to know what's been really grinding my gears for the past couple of minutes? The fact that the way vampires drain blood from humans is highly inaccurate.

The classic story is that a vampire bites into one's neck, draining the blood with two perfectly clean stab wounds.

Why wouldn't this work if vampires were real things?

It's the fact that they are sucking the blood while their teeth is still in the puncture wound.

You see, the teeth are the exact size of said puncture wound. It's the perfect cork for the champagne. The blood flow is not out of the neck yet. It's sort of similar to applying pressure to a wound to make it stop bleeding; There would be no blood to suck.

But what if the vampire just removed their teeth from the bite, and then drank the blood?

Well, then there would be a second bite in the neck.

Consider this: The only sign that a vampire bit you or someone else is the mark left by their canines. This means the their canine teeth are at least a centimeter longer than the rest of their teeth.

And in order to suck from something, (for example a straw) there can't be any room for air to escape through. This also means that vampires have to clamp down their entire jaw/mouth onto the victims neck in order to suck the supply of blood they need. This would add a second puncture wound due to the canines being so sharp an long, and having to clamp down on the victim's skin.

If you want your romantic vampire novel to have Edward leaving a single bit mark, he would have to jar his teeth around and inside his victim's neck for the blood to leak out, so his teeth son't act like a cork to the bite. This would leave some sort of weird oval-y shaped holes in the victims neck. Not a perfect puncture wound like many people say.

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I personally think it would be more enticing for vampire to leave a deep, two-inched, two-lined scar in their victim's neck.

It would make sense.

The blood would pour out from the wound faster, and therefore be easier to drain for the vampire. They'd most likely cut off their victim's windpipe, and/or vocal cords, making a cry for help impossible. Plus, it would come off more as 'I kill for a living', as opposed to, 'I sparkle in the sunlight'.

That would be hecca cool.

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