What did that word mean? If it had a meaning, that is. 'A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.' is what Google had to say for my question. Hats off to Google for making it sound so unproblematic. Well, it is a meaningless question in the first place. Putting in all your faith, trust and love for a person is not the weird part. The fact that letting go, pulling away, saying 'no', and just breaking someone becomes so easy is the scariest thing.

The first thing that comes to my mind when I hear or use the word friend is trust. The word friend is so common these days as everyone just loves throwing it around but deep down everyone knows they're pretty much alone in a room full of those 'friends'.

Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with the poor word or people using it the way they like. It's just that my personal experience has made me question this word. In my opinion, one should just never give anyone the power to break them because that's what we do, that's the mistake everyone makes at least once in their life. Just think it over, who's there to really blame? It's us. We give the other person so much power over us that they're capable of leaving us completely shattered.

I sigh, blinking as these very familiar thoughts make me clench my fist.

Shaking away the thoughts, I walk into my closet to look for an outfit, as Lexi, so politely, asked me to over the phone.

Alexis Harper, my friend. Let me rephrase that, my only friend. A friend I trust. I've had many such friends in the past, friends I trusted, who made school bearable but everything changed with the newly found trust issues. I grew more and more distant from everyone. I was not the same bubbly person that I once was. But one day a girl filled with hope and light barged (literally) into my life.

*Flashback*

I walked into my house after another long and useless day of school groaning as I felt another headache slowly growing.

'Do hell with the homework, I just wanna change and sleep.' I thought dropping my bag and starting to walk up the stairs when I was pulled back, quite forcefully might I add.

"What the-" I was met with a glaring Alec. "Food, first" he said sternly.

"I'm not hun-"

"I don't care. I saw you feeding your lunch to Chase." he cut me off narrowing his eyes.

I matched his look with a glare of my own before rolling my eyes and walking into the kitchen with him. I sat by the counter while Alec heated up our lunch.

I sigh as I lay my head on my hands that are folded on the counter. Alec is right, I haven't been eating and I know they noticed. Its been more than a month since we moved here and I've already lost a lot of weight, its almost concerning. I have changed so much, that I sometimes don't recognise the girl staring back at me in the mirror.

Its different in school as well. School wasn't the way I expected it to be, when I started middle school, because then I actually had friends. Now, I like to be alone because if I try making friends I'll have to open up and I've learnt my lesson in that department.

Alec cleared his throat, sliding a plate towards me. I nibbled on the food and just gave up after about 5 bites, sliding the plate towards Alec signaling him to finish it, as I hate wasting food, which is why I can't seem to throw away my lunch and I usually feed it to our school dog, Chase.

I heard Alec sigh as I ascended the stairs to go up to my room.

"By the way, dad said the Harper's are coming over. They'll probably stay for dinner." he said clearing the table. I nodded, not caring.

'No dinner today' I made note in my head.

I was in my room reading when I heard noises from downstairs making me realise its evening already. I heard my mom call for me while Alec greeted them. I didn't answer, she's probably gonna think I'm asleep and leave me alone. The Harpers, Henry and Jessica are a sweet couple who were apparently friends with my parents in high school. As soon as we arrived here in London, they met up and don't even get me started on all the squealing. Turns out they had the idea of starting a business of their own as well, so my parents and the Harpers thought of doing it together. So, they're now business partners along with family friends. Me being me haven't had a proper conversation with them yet, even though their daughter Alexis is pretty persistent. She never shuts up!

I have successfully avoided her for this long and I don't plan on changing that any time soon.

I got up to change into more comfy clothes to... read a little more lol. I took my top off and was looking for a t-shirt to sleep in, when my bedroom door opened with a thud making me jump in surprise.

I was clad in my bra and shorts with a hand over my chest, trying to ease my increased heartbeat when devil Harper casually strolled into my room and sprawled on my bed, completely ignoring my existence.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked finding my voice, quickly pulling a t-shirt over my head. "I was changing, in case your button eyes didn't notice." I said glaring at her.

" Oh come on, we have the same things, dude. You don't need to be shy." She said waving her hand brushing off my accusing tone, looking around my room.

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest signalling no room for bullshit. "Look, I don't know what you're upto and quite frankly, I don't wanna know. I'm not here to make friends, so you should probably give up. I'm a reserved person and I'd like to stay that way." I finished staring at nothing in particular.

I was met with silence and almost regretted the way I might've sounded. Almost.

I turned to look at her only to notice that she wasn't in her previous spot on the bed. I looked around to find her elbows deep in my underwear drawer, completely disregarding what I said. I looked at her in disbelief and was very close to losing my shit when she turned with my plain yellow bra over her face pretending to be iron man making ridiculous sounds.

I hated that my rudeness didn't affect her. I hated that being ridiculous came naturally to her. I hated that my walls weren't high enough for her. But what I hated the most was that she made me smile again.

I chuckle at the memory, walking out of my closet, now dressed in the all-black outfit I picked. It's kind of an unsaid rule, that because we look more intimidating and mature in black, we wear just that whenever we go business.

I walk towards my phone only to see it's been 10 minutes since Lexi called.

' Be there in 5, my ass. ' I thought rolling my eyes. I checked once more to see if I have everything I need and start walking out of my room and find Alec in the hallway, who finally decided to retrieve his shoes. He looked up with a knowing look on his face.

"Where are you going, again? " He asked, trying to mask his uneasiness.

"You know where I'm going Alec." I said rolling my eyes, looking down at my outfit again which, might I add, I'm pretty proud of.

"Yeah I know." He sighed. "But is it really necessary?" Alec asked concerned, letting his cockiness wear off for a bit.

"You know it is. " I answered in the most reassuring tone I could muster up, as we started descending the stairs.

"But what's up with your anger management classes?" He asked, now wearing his shoes in his hands as gloves. I rolled my eyes at this 18 year old clown I have to deal with on a daily basis.

"They're not enough Alec and you know it too. This is for our own good." I said with a sigh, knowing that his concern is completely understandable. "But as far as my safety is concerned, you know your sis is the best fighter, have faith in me. " I finish cockily, trying to lighten the mood.

Okay! Before you're lost, there are some changes that happened in my life, that I'm not very proud of, but I'm in too deep and can't really leave them behind either.

After shifting to London and going through so many changes, I finally let everything out. All my anger, the frustration, the guilt and what not. But the way it came out was completely unexpected. Violence. Brutal violence is what I found relief in. I developed anger issues and got into fights every chance I got, as an outlet for all the pent up emotions.

Kids from my school, with fractures and other injuries would come to my house with their parents every other day.

To say that my parents were shocked would be an understatement. They grew even more worried about me, if that was even possible. They made me join the anger management sessions to avoid these problems anymore but that never helped, my anger was getting the best of me.

So, to make sure no-one gets killed or harmed by me, I had to find a way to divert my anger and for that Eric, (quite reluctantly, might I add) introduced me to streetfighting. And let me tell you, I'm good.

I'll admit, I was sceptical at first as well.

I lost the first fight.

I was so new to the environment, where there are no rules, where no one cares, where I didn't have to hold back for the very first time.

The feeling of the first punch of the very first fight was so foreign, I almost couldn't comprehend all the kicks and punches that followed.

I woke up the next day in one of the guest rooms been taken care of, by my cousins. That loss sparked something inside me and I haven't lost a fight ever since, no matter how badly I'm hurt.

Since, street-fighting isn't that big of a community, almost everyone knows everyone. Now, because this is a 'new' town, we have to go introduce ourselves to the town rink and register as a fighter. We also call it 'ring hunting'

"Alright, just be careful, please. I don't wanna be up at 2 in the morning, playing nurse for you again." he snapped me out of my thoughts. I scoffed at his remark when I recieved a text from Lexi telling me she's here.

"When am I not? " I replied with a hairflip, heading out when Alec grabbed my wrist stopping me.

"But if there's trouble,whatever it may be, just give me a call." He said sternly.

He can be sweet when he wants to.

"Now flip off" He ruffled my hair with a chuckle, walking away.

Nope. Still an ass.

*

I think the song goes well with the chapter. It's a good song in general too, so... Yeah

Until next time.