Zohravar

I take her flimsy backpack, put it in my car as she follows behind me without a word.

For some time, we both sit in the car surrounded by the bubble of our ecstasy.

I glance at her as she looks out of the window allowing myself to finally embrace the warm feeling that washes over me whenever I look at her. She plays some music to drown the suffocating silence as I switch off the radio.

"Why?" I ask.

"You are not entitled to ask me that, Ace" She says as she lights a blunt.

"Need I remind you how much I control you, Star? Here I thought you were smart."

Her nostrils flare as she releases smoke. Truth is bitter, baby.

"Just because I sometimes like being dominated in bed doesn't mean-"

"You like being dominated by me, not someone else. Only me."

"Are you even listening to me? That's besides the point."

"Are you listening to yourself? What are you even doing, Star? You run away, leaving everything behind, making me clean all your mess. What the fuck is wrong with you?" I grip the steering wheel harshly.

"I never asked you to clean up my mess, Ace. I have never asked you to find me"

I am going to interrupt her as she says "Yes, it feels good that someone tried to find me, I would have been disappointed if you hadn't. But I would had lived. Moved on"

I hate that this fact can even cross her mind. I hate that she thinks she can live without me.

I remain quiet because I know if I don't I would blurt out something I won't be able to take back. Ever again.

"You did this for my attention." I utter under my breath.

"Don't flatter yourself." She says.

I scoff.

"Why didn't you tell me about my mom?"

Fuck.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb, Zohravar."

I am saved by a call. I quickly pick up the phone as the news I hear excites me.

I reach our lane when she asks me where I am going. I look at her and lie right through my mouth telling her I am going for practice.

She stares at me pleading as she gets out the car but I leave her behind.

I reach the club when Zain tells me, he found him. The last man out of the five. The last one left alive. Hamid's brother.

I look at his lifeless eyes as he stares at me.

"I am so sorry, I didn't want to do it. I have two sons at home. Please leave me."

"I don't have any fucks to give. Not even a half. Not even a quarter. Minus three fucks, and still counting" I taunt.

I think about his kids as I search for the good in me.

Nah, there isn't any left.

"I will tell you whatever I know."

Disappointment slammed into me. He is going to cooperate, after all. Shame. I was hoping to have some fun.

"Bark."

"Your mother had kidnapped both of you."

I clench my jaw as I stare at him hard.

"She doesn't know about the things we did. She thinks we just hit you around."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

My own blood. My own mother. Her sorry ass carried me around for nine months.

I suddenly get angry, possessed and out of my fucking mind.

My knuckles land on his nose, shattering it with a chilling sound and I follow it with another fist as I smash his mouth with a brutal blow. A tooth pops out and rolls on the grass. I hit him until all I see is blood. I hit him even though I know that he might be dead. I hit him for reasons that have nothing to do with him. I hit him because I wish I was an orphan and because I am fucked up and because I am a guy who is hopelessly in love with a girl he cannot have. I hit him because he is one of the reasons my Star is a sad girl, a broken woman and a lonely soul.

And I hit him because I need him dead. Because I can't chance him finding her again.

But I don't just kill him. No. I'm butchering him with my stone-cold heart.

Because he's not a person. He's a symbol.

Representing everything I hate.

Everything that reminds me I couldn't protect her.

Everything I want to turn my back on. Everything I can't let near Star again.

No fucking shit, I am in love, in obsession and in addiction with her.

It was love at first sight

Hate at second

Lust at third

But four was my lucky number

She was forever mine then.

Zain puts a hand on my shoulder as I look at the guy's lifeless body. I turn back and Alizeh looks at me with disappointment. She turns away and walks out as I follow her.

"Why do you always do this?" she asks without turning back.

"Do what?"

"Make me feel worthless. Never tell me shit."

She looks at me once for the last time and walks into her car.

It's now or never.

I pull her back into my arms as I hug her waist. I kiss her cheek repeatedly as she struggles to break free.

"Stop you smell of blood"

"You love it" I whisper, smiling on her cheek.

"Only when it's yours."

"You are welcome to draw it out" I say, moving my lips forward.

She actually turns around and bites my lip very hard.

"What the fuck, Alizeh"

She gleams at me, looking proud. How can someone not love her. But that doesn't mean they are allowed to. Only I can.

Till now, I have always loved her like certain dark things are to be love, in secret, between the shadow and the soul. I loved her when I hated her, when I wanted to kill her, when I missed her, when I was jealous and when I was worried out of my mind for her.

I loved her since I was 6. Before she could possibly spell the word because she sucked at spelling when she was 5. I let her copy mine so that she could be in the same grade as me. The other option was failing 1st grade but I know it would have been difficult because daddy dearest would have pulled through.

She looks at me and says "You need to stop hiding shit from me Ace."

I sigh, place my hands on her neck. joining our foreheads. I nudge my nose with hers.

"Ask me what you want to ask, Star"

She looks at me surprised and asks "What is the antonym of hate?"

"Alizeh" I reply.

She stares at me, stunned as I peck her lips and push her inside the car.

I tell her everything in the car. Cause she doesn't need protection because she isn't going away from me even for a second.

I don't ask her how she found me just like she doesn't ask me how I found her.

"Liza isn't my mother."

I stare at her spellbound. She tells me about what she knows. I want to spank her for being so risky. But I shut my mouth and just consume her as she speaks.

I park in front of my house as we go inside. For the first time, Alizeh doesn't stop to even glance at my mother. I give my mother a warning glance as her fake tan shines like a KFC chicken piece.

She looks at me confused, frightened, alarmed all at once and rushes inside her room.

I remove my t-shirt as Alizeh comes out of the loo. She is just wearing my t-shirt. Holy fuck. Her eyes shine as she smiles at me and kisses me on my cheek.

I kiss her forehead and she sits down on the bed covered with blankets.

I remove my pants as she cocks her eyebrows. She looks surprised when I put my shorts on.

I climb up the bed on her blanket and lean into her face. She keeps getting distracted with my abs as she holds the blanket tightly. Like it can protect her from me.

Someone has a little self control problem.

"I thought you would try to get me to sleep with you" she says.

I peck her neck and whisper in her ear "Your pussy doesn't interest me right now, your heart does." Lie of omission. It's just her heart interests me more.

"Always so crude even when you are being a gentleman."

"You would scandalise the shit out of a gentleman, baby." I suck her tongue.

"You are a walking talking piece of deception. Such a fucking liar." she says as she smiles into my kiss.

I lay down beside her and switch off the lights. I spread my arms as she comes closer and I breathe in her entire body. My dick is painfully hard but nothing is as painful as how fast my heart is beating.

She places a hand on my heart and says "We aren't normal."

"Normal is such a boring goal."

"I have nightmares."

"I love your nightmares when I am the only character in them."

"We are toxic. Damaged."

"Why are you even resisting this? Don't act like you don't want this as much as you want to breathe."

She sulks. "You are supposed to convince me and keep chasing me till I say yes."

"I don't need to chase you cause you will never run from me again."

"Why will I listen to you?"

"Because I said so, Star." I smile my words laced with dangerous finality.

She turns her back towards me and pushes her ass into my dick. Oh god.

"Sweet dreams" She says her voice sultry like honey. I press her even closer and close my eyes to begin the night of torture.