i fancy the notion that when it comes to you it is quite easy for me to lose myself. the very essence of what makes me, myself. i believe there to be no other way except acceptance of the fact that my fondness for you will forever exist in two states. one like the warm amber hues that danced atop your skin like spectacles of the sun, and the other like the melancholic air that painted my being black and blue.

i do not think I can love you purely, anymore.

i crawl down the idea of you, and teeter of the edge as i fall into an abyss of lost meaning. lost solitude. albeit, wrapped amidst this feeling of nothingness, i still spend innumerable nights aimlessly pondering on what could've been, but my thoughts retract when i'm reminded of the agony that had been inflicted upon this connection. loving you will forever be diaphanous, yet the most fatale experience my soul has ever experienced.

you exist in a state of polarity. you are my definition of duality. you are my truth, you are my lie. and i believe, this is my goodbye.