White.

That was all I could hear. That was all I could see. That's all that I presumed was left of me.

The ringing was intensifying, the pain slowly registering with my body as I struggled to focus my vision. I was alive.

A sticky substance coated the side of my face, I could feel it dripping into the curve of my neck. What happened?

My face turned either side, desperate for an answer as to how I was still alive until I looked up, blue looming before me. It was trying to say something but it was pointless to even attempt to understand through the ringing.

"Li... Li...Lilah..." broke through as I struggled to maintain eye contact with the person above me.

"James?" I croaked out, not believing that he was actually here. I hesitantly brought a finger up, ignoring its trembling state. I had to check if he was really here. I had to check if I was truly alive.

"I'm here, Lilah, I promise," he mumbled soothingly, smoothing the hair back from my face. "It's alright."

"It-it hurts," I cried out, allowing my head to fall to the floor as the shock of adrenaline wore off, my body unable to tolerate the pain.

"I know," he stroked my hair back again, attempting to provide some solace, "I'm gonna make it go away, alright Love? You've got to stay awake though, can you do that for me?"

I could feel something wet splashing against my face as I fell in and out of consciousness, the last thing I saw being the desperate and grief-stricken face of the one and only James Potter.

--

I open bleary eyes to a white peeling ceiling, a dim yellow being cast out from the dodgy light dangling from it.

Where was I?

I sat up against the headboard, frantically scanning the room for my wand. Where was it? Had someone taken it?

"Whoa, calm down," a voice said from the corner of the room, the light no reaching that far, their face left ominously in the shadows.

"Who are you?" I kicked the covers off of me, desperate to get away from however captured me. I had to get out before they thought of anything more than kidnapping. I had to get to safety.

I had to get to Regulus.

"Whoa, Love, calm down," the voice moved into the light, their hands held up in surrender.

"James?" Relief coursed through me as I slumped back against the bed, panic no longer forcing me to act on survival.

"Yeah. How are you feeling? You took quite the beating, I mean I did my best and all to heal you but-" he rambled, cheeks softening to a light pink as he shut himself up, running a hand through his hair sheepishly. "How are you feeling?"

"Better, thank you," I nodded, noting that he hadn't changed much in our time apart.

"It wasn't a problem," he waved it off, moving to sit on the edge of the bed by my feet.

"Seriously James, really," I stared at him earnestly, owing him my life. "You saved my life if you weren't there..." I trailed off, beginning to question how exactly he knew to be there.

"I followed you out of Divination," he shrugged, having realised my train of thought. "Never realised that you could run so fast."

My body grew cold as I remembered the events leading from the classroom, rushing to feel my back pocket, praying to Merlin that Regulus' words had not been lost in the fight.

Regulus.

Regulus and I kissed, twice.

"So you..." I trailed off once more, unable to meet his eyes as I shifted uncomfortably on the bed, hating how the atmosphere grew tense.

"Yeah, I saw," he nodded, shoulders setting rigidly as he cooled his expression into a blank mask – an action I knew was used to mask the hurt and anger.

"Sorry," I mumbled, still refusing to meet his eye.

"Don't apologise for your feelings, apologise for putting yourself in the position I found you in, to begin with," he huffed, falling back against the bed horizontally, a singular arm propped behind his head.

"I won't apologise for trying to save our future, James."

"There you go again with all this future stuff!" He threw his free arm up in the air in exasperation, apparently fed up with all the secrets.

Which I guess was fair enough considering we dated for just over four months and were friends for longer if you didn't count our petty fights.

"Why are you always so secretive?" He sighed out, resigned.

"How can I know that I can trust you? I mean you did betray my trust on multiple occasions and then try to use legilimency on me!" I growled out, forcing myself off the springy mattress, ignoring the shooting pain from my wrapped ankle as I tried to stand.

"I wouldn't walk on that ankle if I was you, it's going to take at least a few weeks to fully heal, even more if you continue to put pressure on it," he jibbed, sitting up from his position, resting his elbows on his knees.

How dare he. By Merlin was I fuming! How could he act so causal after everything that's happened? He's acting as if he didn't monumentally fuck up my life!

"Fuck you," I seethed, grabbing my wand that I spotted on the dresser, hobbling towards the door, my body protesting every move.

"Get over it, would you? This type of behaviour is what got us in this position in the first place! You're so god damn secretive and I can't deal with it! How was I supposed to trust you if you couldn't even trust me with stupid childhood memories or your real parents' name," he fumed, standing up from the bed as he paced in front of me, his hands stressing his hair. "Oh yeah, I noticed that lie, among many others," he laughed manically, beginning to crack underneath the heavy weight of his pent-up emotions. "Or how about your true connection to Remus because for fuck sake there is no way you're truly cousins."

"I..." I stumbled out, not sure how to respond, never realising how much attention he truly paid towards me. Never noticing how well he knew me.

"And I fucked up once, forbid me for being human and wanting to help you, by Merlin that's all I've ever wanted to do. Do you even realise how many times you've made me cry? Do you know how many times I've doubted my worth? Do you know how many cracks you've put in me? Because for Merlin's sake I do and there's no healing them. You've fucked me up just as much as I've done to you so get over it and sit the fuck down so we can finally act like the adults we're supposed to be and sort this shit out without fucking lying your ass off."

I stared at him in shock, unable to comprehend his emotional turmoil, the one thing I could easily identify though was his fury, and unlike all the other times there was no holding back, no sparing my emotions as tears threatened to fall. They threatened to fall because he was right and now there was no going back, no longer could I be selfish and play the victim because I had fucked him up possibly even more than he had me and there was no pretending that I hadn't done so. There were no false pretences, no lies, for the veil between us was about to fall – an action that I was in no way prepared for.