It's hard to sleep

when your heart

is at war with

your mind

We went back to the jewellery shop and brought the rings. And ofcourse he didn't let me pay much to my dismay. But a part of me is starting to accept these changes.

After entering the car I checked the ring. What I saw made my heart skip a beat. It was the same ring which I fell in love with.

He noticed it.

I looked at him. But he was completely concentrating on the road.

I knew he was deliberately not looking at me. I kept mum but still stared at him for another couple of seconds. And then looked out.

What the heck is happening in my life? One second he acts as if he doesn't care then another second he acts as we are lovey dovey couple and then another time he just does whatever he wants.

But I knew He cares.

We reached my home.

I went inside without a word or a backward glance. Trust me it was harder than resisting a free yearly subscription of Netflix.

I could feel his heated gaze on me.

But I just can't, not when I'm not sure what's that is really going on with me. Half truths and unknown feelings are always dangerous.

When I entered Pa, Ma and all others were in the hall. I have my suspicion that they were waiting for me to come and speak about the date. I passed Ma the packet. She opened it and everyone fell in love with the ring just the way I did. At the same time I also saw the look in 4 of theirs eyes flashing with realisation and then disappointment knowing the end result. Ma and Pa hugged and kissed me.

Reaching my room Rits locked the door. After that I started my story for the day. Except of course not my inner thoughts.

I am damn sure they will admit me in the asylum if I tell them what's going inside the pretty head of mine.

Pretty head?? Why does that sound familiar?? Whatever!

And moreover I felt it was Our moment...

I saw the spectrum of emotions passing through each one of them.

Leah started "I feel we should not give up"

I replied curtly in a tone of authority and decision.

"No! I am doing this. No more fights. I can't keep all of our lives at stake.

I know you guys love me but I too love you guys. This is a battle which I have to fight alone. Maybe he will be able to add his name to mine but not my heart or soul. So we are not doing this anymore I am. Guys I want to sleep."

I knew they wanted to argue, I saw the indecision in their eyes but sensing the finality in my voice, they listened to me and left the room without looking back. I knew at this point they are angry at me too.

I got under the cover in a hope of finding something near to sleep, later Leah joined me both of us staring at the ceiling.

Then Leah told something which made my thoughts go hazy, these are the moments when I feel how connected both of us are, how she knew the questions I knew but was not ready to face. It's true that Friends are mirrors to our souls asks you the questions which you runaway from.

Silence...

"If so, I suggest you to go for it, because this is your life. You deserve love, a happy married life. You deserve every goodness in your life. So go with the flow. Don't stop yourself, follow your heart. And remember we are always with you."

And she hugged me....

***

Next day all of us slept till afternoon. Anna left early for a surgery.

This day was relatively peaceful considering our present track record of days until 'The Call'.

We all were sitting in the patio

Having tea and our usual banters. Anna too joined us. We were having a fight on which was better: Red/Black or Blue/White.

That's when Pa's phone rang, He moved a bit away from hearing range.

He came back with an expression of happiness and worry

"Ajay and family are coming over in the evening. They would like to have the marriage in one month before the vacation ends"

A sudden thickness of tension engulfed the peaceful and playful atmosphere. I don't know which colour combination is better but right now I could only see RED. I felt myself trembling. I really don't know whether I'll be able to control myself.

"Ha! That's not a problem. Anyways it's bound to happen" Grandma told casually.

That was the last straw, my undoing, I just ran to my room. I don't care about who was following me or whatever!!!

I was trying to come in terms with the fact that I am going to marry him.

But NO he had to rush this and make me lose my sanity.

What now??

That's when my Guardian Angels entered the room.

"This just can't happen! We should stop it. To hell with his threats. One day he comes, 2nd day date, 3rd day he wants marriage. He is a psycho!!"

Rits shouted.

"We have a Neurosurgeon can you give me a injection to kill somebody?? Cherry on top you too want to kill him" Dan asked Anna

"STOP!" LEAH screamed.

Silence.......

.

.

.

Leah normally doesn't get angry but if she does, the person at the receiving end is bound to regret his whole existence. Knowing this all of us shut up that moment itself.

After 2 or 3 minutes and a long sigh she started

"Everyone sit somewhere comfortably I am going to speak and I want no one to interrupt me."

Everyone immediately settled down at different corners. Not daring to awake the beast.

She continued

"Let's think practically, Abhimanyu is not a person to gamble with and Arundhathi have already made her decision right?" she asked eyeing me.

I nodded.

"So now there's no going back"

Anna wanted to say something but stopped seeing Leah's glare.

"Bluffing won't work anymore we tried. We really did. But now it's decided by her. We have to respect her decision, it's her life"

I smiled and encouraged her to continue

"Now you see even though Abhimayu did all these but he is a nice guy not because of the tabloids but because of the behaviour he showed yesterday, he understands her and I bet it's not lust.

Maybe he is attracted to her I am not sure about that. But I know we can trust him. Rather than proposing marriage in his crooked way and forcing us. He didn't do anything.

And we ourselves know she will not say yes in any other circumstances."

Even though Leah was addressing the guys but somewhere I knew this was what I need this eye-opener, even though I was coming in terms with marrying him I never thought of the actual facts.

Leah doesn't usually speak sense but when she does it really makes sense

Do I make any sense??

Whatever you got my point right??

"So let's be optimistic and trust him.

If my words later proves to be wrong then still we are there with her.

I know it's her life and we can't play with it, but guys let's make the lemonade with the lemons in our hand. And do you seriously take Arundhathi for a weak person."

I am bewildered with the confidence reflecting in these familiar orbs for me.

I suddenly felt after all I can do this.

"And we know Arundhathi she is a hopeless romantic"

They chuckled making me frown.

"So let's give her the marriage experience. Her marriage experience. Let's accept Abhimanyu and make their marriage a blast. For her For us."

My marriage

Yes my marriage.

That moment I decided

I am going to enjoy this one time experience to it's maximum.

I am going rock in my marriage.

As Leah told yesterday I am going to give myself a chance, This relationship a chance, give him a chance and finally give a chance for

US

So how was Leah's

One more thing there are total

Love

Leah😉

(Ps: Next update on Saturday 9pm IST