"How can you be so heartless?" I looked her square in the eye. "That's the best way to keep your heart from getting broken." I answered back icily. She sighed. "What changed? You were so happy last week. He's all you could talk about." Chelsea asked. "I love you Jayla, and I want to be with you, and I don't want you to be with that boy."

I replayed his words in my mind. But I just shook my head. "Things change Chels. I don't just feel that way about him anymore. I'm trying to do the right thing here by being honest." I answered. She shook her head. "Breaking up with him in front of everybody at your family's New Years party is not doing the right thing Jayla!" She said. I looked away from her. "I didn't want to pretend anymore. He's is so pure and angelic, but he just wasn't the one for me." I tried to explain. She shook her head. "No. There's something else going on with you. I can feel it." I shook my head trying to deny it. "There's nothing else going on. I just don't want a relationship right now." She looked at me skeptically but didn't push me farther. "Whatever you say." Chelsea said. I gave her a slight nod. She turned to walk away but my voice stopped her. "Why do you care so much?" I retorted. She whipped around to face me. "I care so much because you're my bestfriend and you're lying to me Jayla. I can feel it. And whatever secret you have it must be a pretty big one for you to lie to your bestfriend about it." She answered and paused almost waiting for me to say something, anything. That moment just about broke me.

Oh how I longed to tell her...to tell anybody. To share this dark secret with. Oh how I wish I could get this load off of me and give it to someone else. "Chels...I can't." I answered helplessly. She huffed and turned and walked out of the front door. I screamed and hit the closest thing to me, the wall. I pulled out my phone and texted Ben. Where are you right now? He answered back quickly. At work. why? I answered back just as quick grabbing my car keys and purse. I'm on my way. I hopped in my car and sped over to his work. Thankfully my mom was on lunch. I walked into the hall and had him come let me in. I briskly walked back to his office. He followed me in and shut and locked the door behind him. I turned to face him and he came forward to kiss me but I put my hands up to stop him. "I came to talk to you Ben." I answered shortly. He backed away from me and went to sit on the edge of his desk. "Why are we doing this? You're married and this is tearing my life apart." He interrupted me. "Is this about that Gabriel guy? Really Jay?" I shook my head. "No it's not. It's about the fact that we're lying to everyone and Chelsea knows I'm lying. I cannot lose my bestfriend Ben, so unless you have something you need to tell me then I can't do this anymore." I whispered the last part.

His face changed to sadness quickly and he hopped up off of his desk and walked over to me so our bodies were touching. "I don't have all the answers right now I just know I love you a hell of a lot and I want...need to be with you Jayla." He said seriously before planting a soft kiss on my lips. I broke the kiss. "Ben...that's not enough." I said tears coming to my eyes. I turned to walk away but he reached out and grabbed my hand stopping me from moving. He tugged on my arm causing me to turn back around. I cracked. I couldn't hold it in any longer. "You, Ben, you did this! You made me fall in love with you!" I screamed at him tears streaming down my face. He stepped forward to close the gap between us. His hand came up and cupped my cheeks. "Jayla Lynn I love you more than anything in this world. I didn't fall in love with you. I walked into love with you, eyes wide open. I saw all the mess and your little quirks and that made me love you even more. It is my fault we are in this situation. If I had some way I could go back in time and not get married knowing in a few short years I'd meet you then I'd never get married. I want to spend my life with you, I want to marry you, I want to have kids with you, I want to move away from here and start fresh with you, I want to grow old with you and sit on our front porch and watch our grandkids play in the yard, and I want to die when I'm a hundred and seven years old in your arms. Jayla I want to experience all of that with you. I know it's not ideal but we could make it work." Ben said before wiping the tears off of my cheeks that had escaped my eyes before planting a gentle kiss on my lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck feeling myself break.