The 40 days finally passed and Jensen came home yesterday for the Christmas holidays. But we are not staying home because today my surgery to take my eggs out.

Jensen's POV

"Are you ready baby?" I ask her "I think so" "Don't worry, everything will be fine" I say and I kiss her head "I'll see you when you wake up" I say before I leave the room so they take her away "See you".

I was sitting in the waiting room with Jared who came to keep me company. After a couple of hours the surgery was done and we went to (Y/N)'s room.

Your POV

I open my eyes and I see Jensen sitting in a chair next to my bed. I smile and he smiles back "How did it go?" I ask "Great. Robin said that they took twelve healthy egg cells out" "So, twelve maybe babies. Let's hope that at least one baby is going to survive inside of my useless uterus" "Hey, don't say that. You are awesome" he says and kisses my forehead. "No, I'm not" "Yes, you are" Jared says as he comes in the room. "How are you feeling?" he asks "Like I want to go home" "Easy, you just woke up" Jensen says and I roll my eyes.

"Mrs Ackles, I would recommend a month break from the shots and then we'll start the ivf treatment. And after a two-month preparation, we can start the ivf" the doctor says "Thank you" I say "I can discharge you in the morning and I will call you when it's time for the first treatment" she continues and I nod. "If you need anything, call" she says and leaves the room.

We got home next afternoon and Jensen insisted on me staying in bed at least for today, so I did. He kept me company and we spent the rest of the day in bed.

Next morning, I open my eyes and I notice that Jensen is not there. I get up and walking downstairs, I see him cooking. 'Night moves' is playing and he is whispering the lyrics but he is dancing around too. I chuckle and he stops and turns around. "Hey, I thought you were still sleeping" he says "I see that. Please continue, I'm enjoying it" I say as I sit on the counter next to him "Nah, I have a better idea" he says and kisses me.

After we had breakfast, Jared and Gen invited us over. Jensen and Jared were playing with the boys in the pool and Gen and I were sitting next to the pool. Jensen is playing with Tom and he seems so happy when he is around children. "He is going to be a good dad" Gen says "If I ever get pregnant" "Don't say that. What happened to the optimistic (Y/N) I knew" "She is absent for a while now" "And I want her back" "Gen, when I was pregnant, I was thrilled and I was taking for granted that he would be fine. But look what happened. So, if I think about the worst, I am going to be prepared for it".

"Have you talked to Jensen?" "No. He is always the hopeful one and right now, he is the one that keeps me on going. I don't want to destroy that" "Ok, I get that but you can't keep everything inside. You have to talk to someone. And if you don't want to talk to Jensen that's fine but I need you to talk to me, ok?" she asks but I don't answer because tears are already forming in my eyes "Can we go inside?" I asks her and she nods.

We sat on the couch and I let a few tears fall. "I just feel like I am not honour him enough. He died two months ago and we are already trying for a new baby. That is not fair for him Gen. I couldn't keep him safe and now it's like I don't care for him" I say and she hugs me. "You care about him. We've all seen that but you have to move on. You can't stay back, you need to move forward because time is running and you don't want to stay behind. Think about Jensen, he lost his son too but he is here and tries to help you. He is here to fight with you. And the only thing you have to do is to understand that it's no use for anyone to keep being sad" she says and I nod. I wipe my tears and I look at her "I'll try, I promise" I say and dhe smiles.

Walking back home with Jensen, we noticed a guy outside our door. "Can I help you?" Jensen asks "I have a something for (Y/N) Ackles" he says "Then that's for me" I say "Sign here" he says and hands me a pen. "Thank you" he says and hands me an envelope. "Have a nice day" I say "You too" he says and walks away. "What is that?" Jensen asks me "I don't know" I say as I walk in the house "It's from my dad" I continue.