Me and my fellow cultees, Jungkook, Taehyung, Yoongi, Namjoon, and Hoseok, gather at my house. I bow to them as they enter, speaking the brothern greeting

"Burn the weeb." I whisper to Hoseok.

"Burn him we shall."He repeats, bowing his head.

They line up before me, hands clasped in front of their chests. The low candle lights flicker around us, dancing shadows across the walls.

"Brothers." I say. "We gather here for a once in a life time opportunity. To burn the weeb."

"BURN THE WEEB!" They chant.

"Are the sacrifices prepared?" I ask

Jungkook steps forward with his wifeu pillow hugged to his side, chin down with respect. "We are prepared."

I sigh" brother, you do indeed show to be most worthy of this blessing. What an honor it is to be the sacrifice. I myself would have been the upmost willing to be the sacrifice. Sadly, I do not dabble in such.... activities."

"Thank you. I am truly honored to die an honorable weeb death."

I bow. "Brother Tae, the staff please." I hold out my hand. Tae places the staff made of Popsicle sticks and glitter in my hand. "Thank you to brothers Taehyung and Hoseok for the ceremonial staff. It is by the power invested in me that I bless you, brother Jungkook and brother wifeu, deeming you a worthy sacrifice. May your going be peaceful." I extend the staff, taping their shoulders.

"BURN THE WEEB" we chant.

I turn to Yoongi "brother, do you have the flame of purity?"

Yoongi pulls out his lighter, flashing it open in front of his face with a smirk.

"Let us-"

The door opens, allowing the bright sun to illuminate our blackened ceremony room. Jin walks in, dressed semi-formally. He takes a step back, eying our black cloaks and masks. Standing in the doorway, he debates weather to run with dignity or run the way he wants, squealing like dying dog toy.

"AISH! CLOSE THE D*MN DOOR YOURE KILLING THE MOOD!"

"Yoongi?" Jin says surprised" what is going on here?"

" The ceremony, Brother." I say calmly.

"BURN THE WEEB!" We chant, bowing.

"Nuh uh." Jin shakes his finger at us" I ain't messing with this demon crap."

He runs off to the kitchen, closing the door.

I turn back to the sacrifices. "Let us commence out side on the pole of justice."

Jin comes back with a bowl of water, taking it on his fingers and flicking it at us" BEGONE DEMONS! BEGONE!!" He screams with the holiness of an angel warrior.

We flinch back. Jin continues to flick the water, the lot of it flinging on Namjoon.

"MY EYE!!" Namjoon cries, falling to the floor, curling up into fetal position, defeated.

Soon we're all drenched.

Jin points at us "we are going to Jimin's recital and that's final!"

Jungkook glares from the floor "you're cruel." He spits

"DO WHAT I SAY!" Jin yells, arms out behind him like an angry little penguin.

"YOURE NOT MY REAL DAD!" Jungkook cries in pain, crumbling to a ball. Namjoon pats his back sympathetically.

"Can't we just say we're gonna go then not really go?" I ask with a pout.

Jin shrugs" Yeah okay, we say we're gonna say we're not gonna go then not really go but then actually go, saying that we're gonna go."

"Yeah!" I say nodding, progressively turning into confusion. "Wait-"

____

"YOU ALL CAME!!" Jimin yells excitedly, running up to greet us before the show.

We mutter unenthusiastic yeahs, except Hoseok. He's genuinely excited. Jimin gives us all individually a hug.

Yoongi puts his hand out, blocking him from the smothering. "Im only here because I thought we'd be killing someone. So if you don't want that to be you, I'd back the f*ck up."

Jimin smoothly moonwalks away and turns to me instead with a big smile. I painfully grin as he pulls me in, so unmercifully invading my personal bubble. I pat his back once and release, wiping my now wet hand on my jeans.

"A little nervous Jimin?" I ask

"Ahh,.." He pushes his hair back "can you tell?"

"No-" Hoseok begins

"Yes." Everyone else interrupts.

Jimin scratches the back of his neck "I just feel like I haven't practiced enough so I'm afraid I'll mess up.."

"You literally have been practicing for months every single day. how much longer do you need?" Jin asks, confused.

"As long as possible, then I could make it perfect." Jimin mutters

"Jimin you'll do fine." Jin comforts. Namjoon joins with a nod.

"And if not, we'll just have new material to make fun of you with." Jungkook shrugs

Jimin shoots deadly daggers up at him, sadly his height only makes him look like a pouting toddler; deceptively harmless. Beware of the small ones, they jump on you and pull your hair out, next thing you know you're naked on the street, bald. The a horrifying version of 'wig snatched'

Tae leans over to Jimin "you missed it" he whispers "we were so close to burning Jungkook alive before we got here. We had the flame of purity out and everything. "

Jimin looks at him with a raised brow "really? We can continue that here if we want. "

Everyone grows excited at the idea, looking around for a good spot in the shadows.

"Wait,.." Jungkook starts, looking around "I don't have my wifeu..."

"Ah for f*cks sake man!"Yoongi throws his hands up in the air

"You are no longer worthy" I shake my head.

We all begin to berate him, shame him for his amateur mistake.

____

Jimin reserved the best seats for us, close enough to see him clearly but far enough to get the full effect. I sit hand and hand with Jin who plays with my thumb while Hoseok chatters excitedly on my other side.

Off to the right is a huge group of girls with banners and matching t shirts that I can't quite read. Their loud energy just emits crazy.

They must be a fan club or something. Who is it for?Probably the cutest, or the best dancer maybe.

The lights lower and curtains finally open revealing the dark stage lit by bright, colorful, contrasting spot lights. One by one each dancer enters in spins of some sort, I don't know, im not a dancer. They gather in the center in a large spinning circle.

Im getting dizzy just watching them.

"Oh look, it's a tiny Jimin!" Jin points on the stage at Jimin strapped up in tight black pants and a flowing black shirt. He looks to the crowd with a stern, smoldering glare. Immediately the group of girls go insane. They start screaming and lifting their banners. Many of them saying very,....interesting things.

Namjoon covers Jungkook's ears "don't repeat these things child."

"HIT ME LIKE YOU HIT THAT BEAT DADDY!" One of the shouts. My eyes go wide in disgust, my ceremonial snacks rolling their way up my throat.

These girls are wild.

Hoseok and Taehyung seem to be highly entertained by the group of rabid girls, looking at them with glee. They decide to join them in screaming and swooning and frothing at the mouth. I lean away from with a groan, scooting closer to Jin as they stand, screaming Jimin's name.

Beside the screaming girls,...and boys, the recital is surprisingly interesting and very impressive. Jimin manages to do several flips and lifts multiple people in the air all the while looking graceful and powerful.

I lean over to Jin "I can see why the girls go crazy over him, he's amazing."

Jin slowly looks at me, his brows raised, triggered.

"Not as amazing as you of course." I lean in to kiss his cheek but instead is met with the air, Jin's hand pushing my face away.

I pout at him, scrunching up my nose.

Jin can't help but to smile at me, his eyes twinkling in adorement. He leans in and quickly pecks my nose, turning my pout into a smile.

We turn back to the show just as Jimin flows into a hand stand, slowly lowering himself to the ground in a grind.

"Woe" I say in shock, Jin covering my eyes as I cover Hoseok's who covers Taehyung's who covers Jungkook's who also covers his own.

Yoongi squints slightly disturbed and slightly impressed.

Namjoon takes notes.

___

Jimin comes back to us after the show, every inch of him hidden by the hundreds of roses he received from his fan girls.

"What you guys think?" He asks with a proud smile, dropping the flowers to the side. Taehyung giggles, picking them up and throwing them into the air.

"YOU WERE AMAZING INSPIRING WONDERFUL ORIGINAL NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE INNOVATIVE JAW DROPPING" Hoseok yells

"I give it a solid flower!" Taehyung puts a flower behind his ear.

Jimin gasps, putting a hand to his heart.

"My eyes and ears were burning. The entire time." I mutter.

Jin nods"innocence; gone."

Jimin chuckles and hits his shoulder, taking that as compliment.

It wasn't.

"What about you Yoongi? Still think I'm bouncing with flamboyant femininity?" Jimin asks

Yoongi sticks out his lips in thought. "The pants tell me yes but that grind tells me you've got something freaky. I can respect that." He sticks his hand out, shaking Jimin's

Namjoon claps "manliness confirmed."

Jungkook's glares "are you kidding me? He's manly but I'm not?"

"Jungkook, pipe down you baby child with muscles." I scold

Namjoon brings his palms together in front of his chest. "manliness comes from within."

"Im a man on the inside too!iswearit!askmydoctor,imverymanlyontheinside!!"

Jimin wiggles his eyebrows at him. "I can be the judge of that." He moves towards him.

Jungkook screams, karate chopping Jimin in the chest then running away. Jimin chases after him in a fit of giggles. Namjoon runs in to help Jimin while Hoseok and Yoongi help Jungkook, pushing each other around. Taehyung just runs after the group, pushing and tackling everyone at random.

Jin takes a deep breath. "Well this was an interesting date."

I stare at the chaos in front of us" indeed. Indeed." Taehyung tackles Jimin, sending them both running into a trash can. "Next time let's not bring the kids."

Jin nods, taking his hand in mine as we walk to the group who's now being yelled at by the police "yeah, good idea."