Sometimes being in a state of oblivion seems a blissful blessing. When I view some of the kids here. I understand how mirthful this oblivion is.

They have no worries of future, no fear of the past horrors of their life. They are always bound by a calm and peaceful aura surrounding them.

The smile spell they cast upon others work as a miraculous healing to anyone with a soul to penetrate through the goodness and purity these kids hold within them.

They don't even know they have been abandoned by those who should love them in a right way.

It is painful to see these angels suffering. Still they are happy in their limited world.

Physically may be they are ailing from certain difficulties but soul wise they are superior to any human that is alive in this world. Unkissed by any malice, dirt this world holds.

They just never cease to cast a spell over others with their never fading smile which shine as a blissful arc on their lips.

Even though they find it difficult to move on in their life, they never stop to amaze me in wondrous manners.

Really I love them and respect them with all I am worthy of for being such beauteous souls than anyone else in this world.

The glowering of positive vibes which exude from them never cease to leave a lasting and staunch imprint in anyone's soul and heart.

All these are just because they are contended with what they have and are happy in their small yet wonderful world.

They are happy because they are contended,They are contended because they are happy.

we healthy people gets never satisfied with humongous blessings god give us in the form of our kith and kin,talents, skills, the power to express ourselves in any situation. We always find a way to blame and throw stones at others for our so called screwed up life.

Always prying for some stuff which lulls down our happiness and blessings. That is what we healthy and enriched people are good at. In fact we are soul wise living in rags due to the coldness and brutality we hold within us.

I found some kids smiling at me and waving their hands at me to join them. I returned their smile so warmly.

I weaved my way while softly and gently caressing each and every kid here. They gave me a smile which will transform any hard heart into a honey suckle.

I realize my gifts and blissful state when I interact with these kids. Also feel exultant to become an instrument to spread a radiant smile on there innocent faces.

All my fears and worries get washed away instantly when I catch a glimpse of my sweet friends here.

They are my strength and weakness at the same time.

After my cousins the only beings I love from the core of my soul and heart are these kids.

The relation I build up with them is not any simple one.

Most of the kids here are affected in a neurological way. Many of them find it difficult to communicate with others socially.

To begin with some of them were very reluctant and miserable even towards my presence and touch.

They used to swat away my hand when I talk with them or try to comfort them.

There were times I cried to sleep because I thought they don't like me because of my bad aura. I was too small to gauge things as they are.

Mother Dahlia made me understand their problem and taught me to see their world through their eyes.

When I began to do it I understood their feelings and every unsaid words just by looking at their face.

slowly I gained their trust and love. It was not at all an easy task if you ask me. A lot of perseverance and hurt came along with it as a price.

But I took at as an initiative to make these kids world an ecstatic one with my presence.

They loved the crazy part of me which I never take out.

But for them I bend my rules and ran around scattering every single bit of happiness I have with me.

Also unknowingly I made them my world like they did.

Among them Frankie and Kanjan were the ones who got along with my craziness instantly.

They clasped hold of my heart with their loving and caring presence.

They are well cognizant of their milieu unlike other kids here.

Frankie and Kanjan have problem with their mobility and other psychological issues which I don't know clearly.

Mother Dahlia never discloses their details to me unless she finds it extremely necessary.

Frankie

Frankie is blessed with great observation skills, brilliance and incredible hearing ability.

Kanjan on the other hand is talented in painting works and she loves to talk non stop and laugh.

Kanjan helps other kids here with their daily routines, crafts and other small stuff within her limited resources.

She is really great friends with Smrithi, Safrin, Krystal and Sarah .

Kanjan never got a chance to meet them in person though.

I introduced them via Skype chatting.

It was like she got this whole universe in her fist and I am glad that I became a reason for her happiness.

Smrithi,Safrin ,Krystal and Sarah love her like a member of our family.

We got bonded easily and it is now nearly impossible to envision something without Frankie and Kanjan in our family frame.

I got Kanjan's cosmetic kit and decided to hand it over to her for myself. As my brothers are kinda her peers it won't look that cool if any of them gift her with this.

She too will feel awkward to receive it from a boy of her age as this gift is a girly stuff. So if I give it to her there won't be any problem as such. As we are girls and great fan of such things.

I caught the glimpse of Kanjan and Steeve having a light chat. She seems comfortable and at ease when she converses with Steeve. Well, to be true it was a complete one man show presented by Steeve.

He was desperately trying to pull up a talk with Kanjan. My mouth fell open at the pathetic scenario my brother was creating in all this.

This is a new facet of Steeve I am getting to see for the first ever time in my life. He is not that of a woman's type man as far as I know.

He is a bit shy and reserved around girls. But to see this new colour of Steeve makes me go a bit confused at what I am viewing in all honesty.

He resembled a joker. Kanjan was gazing at her half done glass painting with pain. Her expression is one of helplessness and resentment against everything that prevents her from moving forward with the task she is given.

"Kids! Form a line and join mother Dahlia in the dining hall. It is evening snack time. Come hurry up!" I heard Meena Aunty's voice calling out for kids here.

Her voice snapped me out of the reverie I was undergoing regarding my twin cousin's hijinks towards Kanjan.

I instinctively raised my hand and glanced at my wrist watch and noted that it was almost half past four.

I spread my long eyebrows wide when realization dawned on me. My lips curved to form an "o" shape.

I helped kids to form a neat line and move towards the dining hall all the while talking to them,fondling their cheeks, ruffling their hair.

They gave me a warm friendly and angelic smile as a return gesture.

Ben and Alvin helped them as well.

Steeve seemed too much occupied with Kanjan that nothing around him felt important to him other than Kanjan. He pushed her chair ignoring her protests and holding a wooden and stony expression on his face he moved forward.

From the fast movement of his lips it can be counted that he is talking all the while to her.

I covered my face with my palms on seeing my cousin who has washed his hands completely off his senses.

Ben helped Frankie. Alvin looked after other kids meanwhile.

I stood in a corner near the window and viewed all this with a numb heart.

At times a soothing breeze did caress me of my being leaving some wired up tingling sensations. I folded my arms across my stomach and hugged my sides to squeeze out those terrible feelings which I am getting to feel since this afternoon.

I felt an urge to throw up but resisted it by gulping down my sick feelings. I closed my eyes and kept my head on the iron window sill trying to ward off my disquieting feelings away from me.

"You okay makka (child)?" A soft query along with the gentle touch on my forehead and neck brought me back to my real world.

When I opened my eyes I saw Meena aunty looking at me with concern etched all over her face.

I wiped the sweat beads that over crowded my forehead with the back of my palm and nodded that I am okay while gasping for breath and turning around to face the window.

A soft warm breeze soothed my troubled innards splendidly like healing me of my being.

"You seem a bit off Pearl. Is there any problem?" Again she asked.

After fumbling and rummaging through my memory lane in search of ample words to form satisfying answer to her query I cleared my throat and turned to face her.

"Kavala pada vendiyatha onnum illai aunty. ( There is nothing serious to worry about aunty?")I am very much fine than I had ever been" I said in assurance , ironically enough I am the one who needed assurance badly and pathetic you call it or insane you brand it but I am the one running around and providing comfort and solace to everyone.

Meena aunty took a look at me and nodded seriously.

"Sit down for some time. You look like you will pass out any moment" Meena aunty said while forcing me to sit down on the nearest bench.

She gave me some water to drink and sat beside me placing her hand on my shoulder.

After gulping down the content in the tumbler I felt a bit relieved. I panted while drawing in a deep breath. Somewhat okay-ish I guess.

Still a slight tingling sensation lurked around the lower back of me. I don't like this weird and wired up sensation at all.

My breathing irregular and shallow. Heart beat spasmodic and painful. Why?

I wondered while wiping the perspiration beaded over my forehead with my hanky.

"Ennachu unakku ippadi pathattapadurathikku. ( what has got into you to get this much panic?) Meena aunty queried worry lacing her voice .

"Theriyathu aunty.( I don't know aunty) May be due to lack of sleep or something. After getting up at half past three in the morning till now I didn't get a chance to sprawl out myself on my bed and stretch my cobwebs of tiredness away. I am a weakling you know. So Keeping awake and at work can cause such stuff to me. Also today has been a bit hectic for me with music and dance class for kids and a small trip to this place. May be all this affected my normalcy" I tried to reason the cause with my lame excuses but deep down I very well knew that all those causes are just my escapade from facing the real problem.

What? Why? Every thing still sounds a great mystery to me.

"Nee romba ezhachu poyirukka. Konjam gunda irundha thaane azhaga irukkum. Ipodum azhagikku ondrum oru kurayum illai. Anaal konjum weight podarithukkulla vazhiye paaru. ( You have become too Lean. You will look great if you are a bit plumpy. Now too you aren't any less beautiful. Still try to gain some weight okay.)

Meena aunty said in an admonishing tone.

I resisted my urge to roll my eyes. Here everyone thinks that girls should be a fatso to look lovely and beautiful. I don't understand what makes them think this unhealthy about girls.

I will die but will never gain my weight. Now too I am a bit plumpy. I have to go on a diet to keep my body slim and trim.

I hate to be a girl of mere bodily bulk.

"Well, how is Sana and Adhi?" I asked as a way to flip the matter from my way.

And it really worked from the way she shook her head and pressed her temples with her two fingers.

Her forty year old skin creased and lines of experience and prudence appeared out of the corner of her eyes and mouth.

She wore a faded blue flower print saree. Her hair dishevelled with slight greying here and there.

Meena Aunty is a helper here and Siddhu uncle's wife. Sana and Adhi are their kids.

"Sana paruva illai. Ava velayae Ava thaan paathupa. Padippum ellam. Romba budhishaali ponnu. ( Sana is okay. She knows how to take care of herself. She has that good quality. Also she is a very brilliant girl) She is now doing her UG and next year she will be a sophomore in her college. " Meena aunty said with a beam of pride glowing up her features.

I smiled at her.

"But Aadhiye ninachu thaan aadhiya irukku. Entha neram paathalum vilayattu kaatikkitu nadappa andha paiyan. Ippo plus two paricha mudichu. Result varumbothu enna kidakka pogutho. Neeyum avan age thaane evalavu adakkama ozhukama irukka nee. ( But I am very much concerned about adhi. He never gives the name of studying. All the time just mooning around like a fool he is. Now he has done with his plus two exams. And what he will get for marks is a real question of the year in our home. You too are of his same age but how well tamed, deeply nurtured and prudent a girl you are pearl.) Meena aunty said sighing heavily.

I just forced a smile and looked away.

I think every parent here is like that. They love to compare their kids with other kids. They will never realize the real worth of their own kids. I sighed.

"Appadiyonnum kidayathu aunty.Aadhi romba nalla paiyyan. ( It is not like that Aunty. Adhi is a good boy). Don't worry" I said in an assuring tone though I had no idea about Aadhi or his dealings.

Parents never allowed me to be around Aadhi or any boy from outside.

I felt like all these years I lived was just a waste considering my knowledge about boys and such stuff. I sulked looking down.

"Kadavul thaan kaapathanum avane.( only God can save him) Meena aunty said waking me from my pathetic state.

"Okay aunty naan porain. Aadhi and sana kitte romba kaetatha chollunga.( I am going aunty. Give my regards to Sana and Aadhi) Saying so I turned my heels to go but like something dawned I stopped dead on my tracks.

I whirled around and stood facing aunt. She held a confused look on her face.

"Aunty onnu kaettal solla mudiyumma ?( can you answer my query) I asked a bit hesitantly.

"Kaellama ( just go ahead child) Aunty said encouragingly.

"Andha chinna paapa yaaru aunty? Romba anba konji konji pesaraal andha kozhandhai (who is that small girl Aunty? She talks so sweetly and interacts with me like she had known for me a long time) Aunty flustered a bit at this sudden query.

She looked here and there for finding an ample answer.

"Theriyaadhu kanna. ( Dunno sweetie) Today mother had a few visitors from outside our state. May be she came with them. I too noticed that little angel running around and interacting with everyone so sweetly and in a heart warming way. Like name like character. Also I saw her talking to you as well. She is just a lovely being in the form of a kid." Meena aunty said elusively but when she reached the last part she said with her heart filled and contented manner.

My heart swell with pride when I heard such lovely words about that kid. I dunno Why I am getting to feel all this about a kid whom I don't even know well.