I sat in the living room on Instagram staring at Essence's post about her dad. I wasn't sure about the situation with her dad since we only talked about her mom. What got me though, was this nigga that commented on the post. I battled back and forth before finally clicking on the page.

My heart & Souls ❣️ Die behind mine disrespect ain't tolerated 💯

👀

She looks soooooo different

Drama coming soon 🤦🏾‍♀️

We love you 🥰

...

I read the comments and froze when I saw Essence's response. It's like a pain hit my chest and I was breathless. My skin was on fire and I couldn't register what I was feeling. I shook my head before locking my phone and heading into the den.

My mom was drinking some wine while watching reality tv. I saw beside her and laid my head on her shoulder.

"What's wrong Rao?" She asked

"Nothing" I sighed

"Boy bye! If I don't know anything, I know when something is wrong with my child"

"Remember the girl I told you about"

"Nope"

"Come on ma!" I sat up

"I'm joking" she laughed "But yes I remember the sweetie with standards"

"Yeah... so I saw this dude comment on her picture then I went and he posted her. Now I know niggas ma"

"Boy—"

"I'm sorry but I couldn't say it any other way. I know dudes and we don't just post anybody on the gram"

"You posted her"

"How—"

"Heiress showed me, but make your point"

"I feel like she been hidden that she got a dude... I guess I feel like she played me"

"But aren't you two just friends"

"Ma she know I'm feeling her!"

"Calm down boy" she laughed

"Ma this is serious!"

"Okay! Okay! I'm sorry! It's just cute to see you all worked up over this girl. You've never been like this"

"I know! And it's like I can't control it!"

"Well baby I definitely think you should talk to her about the guy and your feelings. Maybe she didn't take you serious before because she thought this was a game"

I stayed silent thinking about the reality that it was all just supposed to be a game. I wasn't supposed to actually like Essence. This was suppose to just be a hit it and quit it. Now I'm crying to my moms like a little bitch over a female that got a nigga.

I kissed my mom before heading to my room. I wasn't about to let no female play me. All I needed was a reminder of what this all was. Just as I was able to hit up one of my little freaks Essences texted me

Still want me to braid

your hair?

Bae Ess 🥰

10:10pm

Yeah but I'm at my

parents house. You'll

swing by this way?

10:15pm

Pharaoh! Do you see

what time it is? I'm

not bout to have ya

moms curse me out

and think I'm all

kinda hoes! 🙅🏾‍♀️

Bae Ess 🥰

10:20pm

😂 Baby girl my moms

cool af and I promise I

asked could you come by

10:24pm

I knew Essence wasn't gone believe me so I screenshot the message with my moms along with the address. I decided hoped in the showered and wash my hair before she got there.

When I got out, I dried off and threw on some sweats. Essence wanted to play? Cool! I was ready to pull out all the stops to win this bed. I headed downstairs only to hear my mom and sister laughing it up with what sounded like Essence. I checked my phone before heading into the den to sure enough see my mother and sister smiling and talking with Essence.

"Oh there he is" my mother smiled at me

"Barely dressed as usually" my sister rolled her eyes "Put some clothes on Rao"

"He acts like he's allergic to shirts" Essence joked

They all fell out laughing like it was so funny. I rolled my eyes before walking over and pulling up my sister then my mom.

"Ha! Ha! How funny" I glared at Essence "Why you didn't tell me you were here?"

"It was cold outside and you take forever opening the door. I figure I was better off knocking"

"And she was" my mom smirked "Stop being like that Rao Rao"

"Ma!" I shook my head and chuckled "I can't even— Just go please"

"Fine!" My mom grabbed my sister walking away "Come by any time Ess!"

"Yes ma'am!" Essence waved "I'll bring some seafood etouffee tomorrow"

"I can't wait!"

"Chill" I sat down on the love seat "And you not bringing her food"

"What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing. Did you bring stuff or do I need to get it?"

"I brought mine" she lifted her bag "Come sit between my legs"

"I knew you wanted me" I joked getting up

"Shut up Pharaoh" she pushed me "Come on, I need to get home before my family start tripping about me being gone for so long. Ice already got them thinking you my boyfriend"

"What's so bad about me? What? I'm not good enough to be your boyfriend"

"Pharaoh stop" she laughed "You know it's not like that"

"What's it like then?" I felt myself getting irritated

"Pharaoh---"

"No! What the fuck is it like Essence? You paint me to be this awful fucking person! So why the fuck are you here? Why are we fucking friends if I'm so bad of a person"

"Whoa" she stood up "Pharaoh wh-what is this about? Really?"

"Just forget it!"

I shook my head before walking out and going to my room. I closed the door and laid on the bed trying to figure out what the fuck just happen. I couldn't wrap my mind around why I blew up on Essence or where all the anger came from. I yelled in frustration from the foreign emotions that were fighting in my mind. It took a good five minutes before someone was knocking on my door.

"I'm fine" I yelled covering my eyes with my arm "Goodnight"

I heard my door open and close before I felt Essence climbing on me. I tried to sit up but she was straddling my waist looking at me.

"E--"

"Uh-uh" she covered my mouth with her hand "You just wig the fuck out on me dude. What did I even do to warrant such a reaction?"

I shook my head and rolled my eyes.

"Pharaoh you know I don't think you are a bad person. I don't think you're awful at all. You're honestly amazing. You're educated, ambitious, genuine, and a great friend. I'm so grateful for our friendship. I am so closed off all the time, but I know I can be myself with you. I know it's no problem"

"Then what's so bad about someone thinking I'm your boyfriend?"

"You took that too personal" she laughed "Mazi would flip the fuck out about anybody being my boyfriend. My cousin gets extremely over protective. That's just how he is with me. We're more like sister and brother than cousins"

I immediately felt dumb as hell hearing the instagram name. I shook my head laughing as I grabbed her waist. I adjusted us so that I was sitting up leaning my headboard while she stayed on my lap. She played in my hair as i just looked at her.

"What Rao?"

"I'm sorry for blowing up on you baby girl"

"I mean I accept you apology but what's going on? Why you out here thinking so negative"

"Honestly" I sighed looking at her Different World shirt "I've been feeling you from day one and we both know this, but you constantly curve me. And I mean in getting to know you I definitely like you. I just don't understand what's so bad about me that you so against giving me a chance"

I looked back up at Essence and she seemed genuinely surprised with her eyes big and her mouth slightly open. I shook my head and looked back down waiting for her to respond

I was shocked as fuck to say the least. After processing what he actually said, Gianni's words started playing in my head. I still wasn't sure if I even like Pharaoh enough to date him. But I knew Gianni was right and I couldn't let my past dictate my present and fear dictate my future.

I watched as he just stared down seeming pretty defeated and I knew he was serious. I moved my hand from his hair and cupped his face so he would look at me. I felt weak the instance I saw his beautiful brown eyes.

"Pharaoh.... I never said I didn't like you" I smiled at him "If I recall, I told you I wasn't interested in what you were bringing to me"

"That's sound like 'I don't fucking like you' to me"

I laughed "I didn't know you to like or dislike you"

"You know me now"

"I do" I let go of his face and played in his hair again "But this didn't come up since we've been friends. We just became best friends and left it at that. I thought you got over whatever little attraction you thought you had for me"

"Why you gotta say it like that?"

"Because Rao!" I laughed again "I know you're type and I'm not it! I know you a player and I don't rock with that. You know this. I thought you would've just moved on"

"I told you I wasn't playing with you! You just never took me serious"

"You right, I didn't"

"So" he grabbed my hands "What's up Ess? You feeling me or no?"

I sighed looking at him trying to find the right words. I couldn't lie about the connection and chemistry I felt with Pharaoh. We just vibed together naturally. I didn't really know how to put in words what I wanted to say. Then my body started moving on it's own and next thing I know, I'm kissing him.

My first crush since I was fifteen years old, the first new friend I've made intentionally in years. Here I was tonguing him down in his bedroom at his parents house. I finally got my words together so I pulled away from him. He smiled at me before even opening his eyes.

"I do like you. I honestly couldn't help but to like you. I'm glad I got to know you because you're definitely more than what meets the eyes... but Pharaoh you have to understand I'm just not like other women" I sighed "I'm not ready for a relationship, friends with benefit, or any of that. I got a lot of shit that I gotta deal with in myself before I start dealing with someone like that. Like Pharaoh my last crush or even relationship was almost ten years ago. I can't---"

"Baby girl I'm just glad to know the feelings are mutual" he kissed me again "You thinking to far ahead of yourself. We like each other and we going to continue to be friends. You just might let me take you on a few dates here and there"

"Whatever" we laughed and I pushed him "I'm serious!"

"I am too! You immediately went to relationships and fucking, but if you not ready for that then fine. Let me date you then and whatever happens happens"

"Rao---"

"I promise it'll be fine. You are free to stop feeling me at any time. We still gone be friends"

"I don't know Pharaoh"

"Why?"

"I just---"

"I promise Essence... I got you"

Pharaoh pulled me into a hug and I just nodded against his shoulder hoping I wouldn't regret it.

"I trust you" I whispered to him