《Played Out》15. Everything I Want
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I woke up with Essence on my chest, memories of last night instantly flooded my mind. I kissed her forehead before trying to get from under her without waking her.
"You struggling ain't it" she mumbled
"Shut up" I pushed her off me as we laughed "I was trying to be nice and let you sleep!"
"It's okay baby" she smiled at me sitting up "I wasn't fully sleep because I'm definitely hungry as fuck"
We laughed
"Come shower with me and we can go get breakfast"
"See I'm not gone even try the new born baby dear walk to the bathroom so you can laugh at me"
"I'm not---"
"Lie again" she rolled her eyes at me
"The shower gone make it better" I grabbed her hands "I promise plus I'm gone help you"
"You just want to be nasty"
"After last night I always want to be nasty with you" I kissed her lips before pulling her off the bed "But I do have some self control you know"
She grimaced leaning over onto the bed for support. She stuck up her middle finger as I started to snicker at her body's reaction. Of course I had to be petty so I stood behind her and rub my dick between her legs. She popped up and headed into the bathroom as if it didn't hurt at all. I laughed louder at her attempted to get away from me since we were definitely showering together.
I walked in the bathroom and saw she started the shower but was in the restroom part. She came out and I went in to take my morning piss as well. It was crazy that it felt so natural to just move around booty butt naked with Ess like it's nothing. When I got in the shower behind her, I started washing her body. Essence was the true definition of beautiful. I couldn't believe we got to this point in such little time.
She turned to around to wash me which I just watched mesmerized by her smile. She hadn't said anything about me saying "I love you" last night. I figured she didn't hear me. A piece of me hopes she didn't hear it at all. I didn't want to move to fast with Essence. She's still dealing with baggage and I know even though she hasn't told me. I don't want to rush her and push her away... But another piece of me wants her to know how I feel.
I might be a player but I was in love once before. It was my first love. Just some puppy love shit when I was sixteen. She was a sweet shy girl. She couldn't handle the fact that so many females threw themselves at me in a relationship or not. But I did love her. I actually didn't start the player life until she broke up with me. Heart break will do that to a nigga. This time though, I knew it was real. Essence was everything I wanted and everything I didn't know I needed.
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Once she finished washing me I pulled her into my arms and kissed her under the flow of the water as it rinsed us. Before I knew it, it was round two in the shower, which meant we had to wash all over again. Water was cold as fuck by the time we got out. We dried off and got dressed before heading to breakfast.
On the way there, I thought about how I could ask Essence to be my girlfriend. One thing I knew when it came to women: they love clarification around where they stand in the relationship. To be honest at this point I was trying to know where she wanted us to stand anyway. I was so deep in thought, I zoned out til we pulled up at the restaurant.
It was a nice little café, Cole had brought me too before. We sat down and placed our orders with really talking much. Essence was taking in the scenery of the place while I just stared at her.
"Rao!" She giggled "Stooooop"
"Stop what baby?"
"Staring" she smirked "It's weird"
"Can't help it... you're just so beautiful"
"Awwwl don't go getting corny on me weirdo"
"I'm serious" I grabbed her hand "I want us to talk about us..."
"Okay..."
"I just want to know that we on the same page. I don't feel like we just kicking it anymore. I know what I want... but I wanna know where yo mind at on it"
"I know what I want to" she squeezed my hand "I've known for... a minute. I feel like we are on the same page... but I want you to do something for me first"
"What's that?"
"Let's not finalize anything right now. I want you to take today and really think about what you want to ask me. What that would look like in your life. The changes you would have to make. If this is really what you want. Just think about all of it. I'll think to and if we both still feel it, tonight we decide"
I thought about it before leaning over and kissing her lips. I say back down and smiled at her.
"I can do that baby girl"
"I'm serious Rao" she giggled "Think about it so there's no second guessing once we make the decision"
I nodded as our food arrived. We talk some more throughout breakfast. Our conversation ranged from school and life at home to our vacation and planning more. It felt amazing having Essence all to myself. I knew she was right, so I plan to think about us before asking her tonight.
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Once we finished, I rode with her back to the hotel so she could have a spa day then Jordan came down and we headed to Cole's place to kick it. Cole was ready with beers when we walked in. We laughed watching ESPN and drinking for about an hour before he spoke up.
"I miss you niggas and everything but shit what's been popping? Y'all all in love and shit! What's up with that"
I laughed "Jordan gone speak up! You been with Gianni a minute now"
"Ain't much to tell" he shrugged "Gigi my baby and that's that. I'm good over here. I'll be an in love ass nigga shit! She everything I want and didn't know need! I been trying to tell Rao to gone ride this wave since he clearly love struck"
"Mannnnnn" I laughed
"Oh yes let's talk about this" Cole pause the tv and sat forward "Miss Essence seems important"
I smiled just hearing her name "She is"
"Dude I have never seen you like this" Cole looked shocked
"I tried to tell you" Jordan laughed "My guy in love love"
"Honestly yall" I sighed looking between them "I think I am forreal"
"Am what?!"
"I'm in love with Essence" I shook my head and sat back "I can't even believe it myself but this feeling she give me... she light my soul of fire dude. Like baby girl make me feel like a whole 90s R&B song" I laughed "And I think she's in love with me too"
"I'm proud of you man" Cole smiled "This some real grown man shit. Then niggas y'all be fucking with down there live by that fuck boy shit" he shook his head "but that shit get old. I mean I would love to have me a Southern sweetheart instead of these rough ass NY broads. They savage as hell with no filter. Least I know back home I gotta fuck up before the crazy come out"
We all laugh knowing how serious Cole was. Once it died back down Jordan lean forward and sighed.
"So what you gone do about the bet?"
"Bet?" Cole raises his eyebrows "Please tell me y'all not still doing that stupid shit"
"I'm done with it" I shrugged "I don't think it's that deep. Plus Ess don't even need to know about all that"
"But she gone feel some type of way if she finds out"
"She not going to"
"Hold up! Hold up! Hold up!" Cole stood up "You mean to tell me this was all a bet? What the entire fuck Pharaoh?!"
"Chill I—"
"Fuck that! You know how fucked up that shit is. What if a nigga did that to Heiress? You'd be ready to body that nigga! And she from NOLA! I know you gone die"
"I'm not gone die! She's never going to know. It will never come up. And it shouldn't matter anyway. It was suggested that I holler at her, I did, and now we here"
"You is a dumb nigga" Cole said slowly
"Look I already told them I quit before we left. I cashed app and everything. I don't want no parts of that bullshit no more"
"I think you should still tell her man" Jordan shook his head "She might be mad but it will be easier to hear from you. Plus you can tell her that you called off the bet before the trip"
"Hell nahh" I shook my head "I'm not about to risk losing her over something she'll never know otherwise"
"Starting a relationship with lies isn't good fam" Cole warned "As crazy as it seems, Jordan right. If you clean the air with the truth she'll forgive you a move forward"
"I'll think about it" I sighed
Before any of us could say anything else, my phone started going off with notification dings. We all looked at each other before I grabbed my phone to check. I was relieved when I saw it was IG and not Essence saying she was in trouble or something. I clicked on IG and saw my name tagged in a post a bunch of times. Confused, I click on the post and my mouth dropped.
"Dude what is it?" Jordan sat up
"Speak nigga" Cole threw his remote at me
I shook my head before showing them my phone.
I may not be perfect but I try to be perfect for you. I didn't realize the blessing you were to me but hearing your heartbeat was music to my ears 💓 Can't wait to meet you ☺️ Mommy Loves You 🥰👶🏽🤰🏽 #BabyRo #MommyToBe
@PharaohDa1st
@PharaohDa1st
Auntie Baby 👶🏽💓
Don't @PharaohDa1st got a girl 🤔👀
Dude must not know with all these tags
Pretty baby mommas
So nobody gone tag his girl 👀
...
I took my phone back still in disbelief. This can't be happening... like I couldn't believe it. I leaned back and closed my eyes taking a deep breath to calm down but it just led to my scream.
"FUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKK!"
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