Today I was flying back to Vancouver. I was starting work tomorrow. Jensen called me yesterday asking if I was ok with him staying with me. Of course I had no problem. It's our apartment. But my marriage is falling apart and I seem to be the only one who is fighting for it.

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I unlock the door and I walk inside. I notice the bedroom's door closed so he is probably sleeping. I knock the door but he doesn't answer "Look, I know that we had a few pretty bad fights lately but I would really appreciate if we could forget them. We both said things that we regret" I say "Is it that crazy that I'm still trying to save our marriage? I love you Jensen" I say. But still no answer. I open the door and I see the bed empty. I rush to the closet and I open it. His clothes are gone. He left.

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So Jensen prefers to stay at Jared's for the last month or at his trailer instead of coming back home with me. I am just seeing him at work and he doesn't really want to talk. But today he asked me if we could talk. To be honest I was pretty excited because it meant that maybe he changed his mind.

We drove to our apartment after work and we got pizza. We sat down on the living room and talked about random things. I really missed that. I missed him so freaking much.

"We really should talk" he says

"We are talking, aren't we?" I say and I take a bite of pizza

"Yeah but I mean really talk. About us" he says and I nod "It's not easy, I know but..."

"You're struggling this much, maybe that should tell you to stop before you say whatever it is that--"

"We should probably talk about taking a divorce" he says and I freeze. I take a deep breath and I get up "(Y/N), come on. We are not even living together anymore. This is probably the most talking we did in what? Months?" he says

"Well, that is your choice and not mine cause I've been willing to have a conversation--"

"Don't do that. Don't blame me"

"I'm not blaming you. It's not blame it's just fact. I want to talk too but we are having two different conversations, I want to work things out and you just want to end them. It seems like an excuse to walk away, instead putting any work--"

"You left me. You walked away, you ran--" he says pissed

"I was dying Jensen. He died and I died. I was dying and I needed to leave in order to heal and--"

"And you think that I was somehow fine? You don't think I was dying too?"

"No. No, ok? Not like me. I- I couldn't even breath. So I took off and I found the peace that I needed in order to heal and I thought you understood that"

"I held my 31-week old son's dead body while you were still in a surgery that they weren't sure you could survive. And I also couldn't stop thinking about that drank son of a bitch that caused the car crash and made it out with just a scratch on his leg. So let me tell you that I was covering all of that for you, to take care of you"

"And now you're punishing me over and over because I dared to take things into my own hands, because I recognized the spiral I was falling into. I took care of myself so that I would survive. And all that does is making you angry. What is it Jensen? What pisses you off so much? That I chose to chase the thing that I needed to heal or that the fact that that thing wasn't you?"

"The thing that I needed was you. You just left. You disappeared. But I survived and you survived, but I'm not sure if we are going to survive this" he says and grabs his jacket "And right now divorce is the only light I see inside a really dark tunnel"

"You really feel this way?" I ask.

He lets out a breath and looks back at me. I walk to him and I kiss him slowly. He kisses me back and deepens the kiss. I take my t-shirt off "(Y/N)..." he says between the kiss

"Take me to the bed Jensen" I say and I kiss him again. I jump on him and he carries me there without pulling away from the kiss.