Nazanin Abbas.

Yet another day, yet another battle, yet another failure.

Now I know what it means when people said, "Life goes on"!

It doesn't stop when you want it to. It doesn't change course when you wish to. I sigh in relief as the bell finally rings and the lecturer stops teaching. I grab my stuff walking out of the class, a shoulder bumps into mine. I crane my neck to see Usman grinning at me as he falls in step with me. He has been sticking to me all the time in the past few days. I don't want to talk to anybody, but just for the sake of ethics I reply to him.

"Heyya! What's the plan next?", he asks me sounding all excited.

"Hi. Well, nothing much. Just go home and sleep maybe", I say tired. I have been compromising my sleep for the exams. So a good sleep would be great as of now.

I continue walking, thinking he is following too. But suddenly a hand on my forearm stops my motion and I turn to see Usman holding my hand. I raise my eyebrows in question and he grins, moving his hand that was behind his back to the front with a rose in hand. A red rose might I add.

The first time I was given a red rose was by Dani when we were ten. The day we got married. How innocent we were back then , how I wish we could go back to being kids.

"Hey, what happened? You just zoned out. I wanted to ask you to go out with me today. Maybe we could go to a movie or something", he says nervously. What the hell?

Ab ye kya musibat hai yaar.

I smile at him politely, stepping forward. "Usman, tum bahut achche ho. Thank you for asking but I can't go out with you", I say as sweetly as I can. Now comes the tough part, the reason.

"I... err... Actually", before I could say something more he raised his hand. Despite the disappointment, he smiles the same smile I have been practicing these day. The one that has heartbreak clearly written over it.

"It's fine. You don't have to give me a reason. I understand. Well, I have to go. See you around Naaz", with that he turns back disappearing into the hallway.

I run a frustrated hand in my hair, trying to block out any other noise as I make my way towards the car where Dani is waiting. He is in the driver's seat with his phone in hand. I quickly sit down, putting my seatbelt.

He starts the car, racing towards home. I place my head on the window closing my eyes. I didn't want to hurt Usman like that, I know what it is like to be rejected. But I also can't lead him on. He already deserves the truth from me if not my feelings. Once the car is parked in our driveway, I quickly walk up to my room.

My head is spinning with all the events and that friend's daughter might arrive any moment. God, I am not prepared to see her or my husband's excitement to meet her.

I freshen up, changing into my pjs. A shock awaits me as I open the door to my washroom. Dani is sitting on my bed, with a grim expression, which turns furious the moment his eyes land on me.

He strides towards me, in two steps grabbing me by my arms. What's wrong?

"Kya kaha Usman ne tumse? Haan? Kya keh raha tha wo tumhe us laal rose ke saath?", his pitch is low but the disgusting tone just made it a whole lot scary. Why is he so furious?

"Kuch nai Dani, tum fiq...", I begin to explain but he brutally cuts me off.

"Shut up Nazanain! Just shut up. Just answer my question. What. Did. That. Bastard. Tell. You?", he spits like he doesn't even want to take his name.

I frown at the hostility, "Don't call him that. You don't even know..." I gasp at the force with which he pushes me against a wall, I land against his hand which was placed on the wall, most probably so that my back doesn't get hurt.

"Don't. Don't favour him Nazanin Danish, otherwise even I don't know what I will do." My heart skips a beat. Even though the situation is extreme, but the butterflies in my stomach say otherwise.

I close my eyes, savouring his addicting scent that I felt after a long time. With a racing heart, I open my eyes hoping the intensity of my madness for him shines through them, "He asked me out. On a date." I speak feeling his hold tightening on my waist. His eyes grow redder if it was possible.

The next minute his hands leave my body, falling back beside him and he steps back. He doesn't look at me anymore, before he could turn back I hold his arm, "I told him I can't date him. Don't be angry at him Dani, he is a nice guy. He is a good friend."

He looks at me with a painful edge, his fisted hands and clenched jaw not helping him to hide his emotions.

"Oh! So he is a nice guy. I see. Don't worry, your friend won't face any hostility from me, thanks to you."

He moves back, then begins walking towards the door in slow steps. My heart clenched at the thought of him hating me more, can't he see it in my eyes? There is no other man in the world I will look at the same way I do him. Just at the end of my room, he stops. I don't want to hear any more of his heart breaking words so I turn away from him trying to escape this suffocating place.

There is dead beat silence for a while but soon, very soon I feel his hands going across my waist from behind, he pulls me back on his chest, his breath tickles my neck, "Tumhe red roses dene ka haq sirf mera hai. Is baat ko marte dam tak mat bhulna Nazanin Danish." Then it's all rainbows and sunshine. This feels too good to be true. Did he just confess to me?

My body freezes, turning still as rock as I begin to comprehend his words. When it finally dawns on me, I veer around in a frenzy, looking at his possessive eyes, "Kya... kya ka..kaha?"

He grabs my neck, his fingers gripping my mandible in a vice grip, the redness still circling his irises but there is also a spectrum of other colors hinting his ownership.

"Kyun? Jhatka laga The Great Nazanin Abbas ko? Jab wo rose leke khada tha tab to badi chill thi. Uske cofession pe hasi nai phuti tumhari, aur mere Nikaah mein aath saal, teen mahine, das din se ho magar hamara rishta mazak hai."

Why is he even comparing himself with Usman. Of course I would be petrified if my husband says something remotely romantic for the first time.

"Da... Dani, tumne hi to kaha tha ki tumhe koi aur ladki chahiye. Jo tumhe mujhse behtar samajh sake", I whisper drowning into the depths of his sliver irises.

"Haan kaha tha, kaha tha maine ki mujhe ye rishta manzoor nahi. Bade jaldi wo baat samajh aagai tumhe. Itne saalon se jo maine apna dil tumhari hateli pe rakha tha wo to nai dikha tumhe", the intensity in his voice is unbearable. The accusatory undertone is something I witnessed for the first time, there are just too many revelations in one go for me to process.

I am paralysed, my nerves shooting up in utter disbelief.

Ya Allah, madad! Dani ka ye aashiq mode bada dara......before I could process anything, his body jerks away from mine. He completely moves away from me.

"You know what Naaz! I was right, you are not my match. And I will soon find the right one. Good day." With that he vanishes into thin air.

Fuck it, Nazanin waise to saara din chapar chapar karti rehti ho. Aaj kya mun pe taale pad gaye the?

Shit. I need to fix this. I wipe my face with the sleeve of my T-shirt, running to Maasima's room. I knock, then enter. Maasima is sitting in her rocking chair, with an album in hand, her fingers grazing through every picture. She does this whenever she misses Uncle Walid.

"Maasima, mujhe aapse kuch baat karni hai", I say fidgeting with the hem of my T-shirt. She quickly catches my disheveled state, "Naaz. Beta kya hoagaya hai tumhe? Aisa lag raha hai koi toofan guzra ho tum par se."

"Toofan mein kahan itni majal Maasima. Mujhpar to kayamat barsi hai", I crouch down before her legs, placing my head on her lap. She instantly runs her fingers in my hair, smoothing the knots and wiping the sweat from my forehead.

"Kounsi baat itna pareshan kar rahi hai hamari princess ko?", she gently says placing a peck on my forehead.

"Aapki princess ko ab Queen banna hai Maasima."

"Kya matlab", she says confused.

I raise my head from her lap, squaring my shoulders, I grab her slightly wrinkled hands, "Maasima, aapne mujhe Mama se zyada pyaar diya. Aapki hamesha karzdaar rahungi. Jab bhi kuch khareedne ki zid ki, aapne sabse pehle razamandi di. Aaj main phir aapse kuch maangne aayi hun. Kya aap apna beta mujhe soupengi?"