Chapter thirty-six.

"Go away," I muttered as someone tugged on my duvet cover.

"C'mon, Mitchie, get up!" James growled as he wrestled me for control of the covers. "Why don't you want to get up? Yesterday you were fine then suddenly you came storming in the house and told us you were going to bed without eating anything." The bed dipped as his weight was added to it. "Mitchie, tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing," I mumbled as he laid on me. "God, have you put on weight?"

"Ouch, your words wound me, Mitchie. Seriously, tell me what's wrong."

"It's nothing, James, now get your fat butt off me before I make you," my words were mumbled but I hoped they came out as threatening as I hoped.

"Nope," he sang. Stupid, no good boy.

"What's going on?"

"Great, come join the party!" I said sarcastically.

"Someone sounds moody," Robbie commented.

"God, James, did you literally invite your brothers into my room?"

"Nope." God, Lance as well?

"Its fine, you can all come in and crush me like your fat brother is!" My voice went high pitched at the end as I felt three more Johnsons climb on top of me. "For the love of God!"

"Boys, tell me that there isn't a young lady under that cover," Phoebe's voice broke through the boys laughing, they all went still and didn't say a word.

"There is." I squeaked as someone put pressure on my thigh.

"Mind if I join in?"

"Oh my God," I muttered. "Phoebe, how old are you?!" I heard her laugh and sit on the edge of my bed. "Phoebe, you love me, please get your heavy sons off me!"

"Come on, boys, you heard the young lady, I'm sure she's awake now. Breakfast is on the table, downstairs in ten minutes. And get some clothes on." It felt like someone turnt the heat up, my cheeks went bright red, they didn't have clothes on?!

"Please tell me what she said was incorrect, you do have clothes on, right?"

"Some of us do..." James trailed off and pulled the covers off me since my grip loosened. I was suddenly staring at four half naked Johnson boys. Tony and Robbie had no tops on and jogging bottoms, while James and Lance had boxers and t-shirt.

"For the love of God!" I covered my eyes and rolled over.

"Hey, don't go pointing your finger at us about no clothes, have you seen yourself?" Robbie joked, I rolled back to face them and raised my eyebrow. He flicked his hand towards me, I looked down and I felt the sense of déjà vú wash over me - these were the PJ's I wore the day I met the Johnson boys after a long time.

"Right, everyone out. I'm getting changed." I pointed at the door and waited for them to leave. Tony gave me a small smile before dragging Lance out the door.

"Oh, once you’re done, can I talk to you?" I nodded my head and Robbie left the room as well.

"Gonna tell me now?" James asked.

"Gonna tell me why you decided to let your half naked brothers in my room?"

"I can't really dress them in the mornings." He raised his eyebrow. "Mitchie, stop avoiding the subject, what was wrong last night? You can tell me, we're best friends." His dimpled smile made me spill everything from last night.

"He regrets it, I know it." I said after a few minutes of silence.

"He doesn't regret it..." he sighed and put his arm around me.” He just has a weird way of dealing with his emotions." I leant against him and a sigh escaped my lips. "He doesn't regret loving you, Mitchie."

"I know he does, James, he wouldn't have said it otherwise. I can't deal with hurting people..."

"Hey, look at me." He turned my head towards him. "He knows he needs to give you time but... Just, talk to him; tell him what that conversation made you think he'll be happy that you even told him that."

I looked towards my door and saw brown hair disappearing down the stairs. "I don't think I need to tell him."

~

I pushed open my front door and looked inside, a suitcase was leaning against the wall and my dad’s voice could be heard. "Hello," I called out, expecting to see the twins coming rushing out of nowhere.

"Oh, Mitchie, one second." He held his index finger up and started talking into the phone again. "I've got to go, tell her to phone me later... No, I don't care what time, we have to settle this." He roughly put the phone down the on table before facing me.

"Who was that?"

"Daisy's mom." His nose scrunched up at the mention of her. "Daisy isn't talking to me due to an incident that happened while we were away."

"Oh," was all I replied before walking past and going up the stairs.

"It was the anniversary of your mothers-"

"I know, I visited her grave."

"Darling-"

"I don't care for what you have to say. I visited her, she knows I miss her and she knows I didn't spend this one day with my dad." I looked at him over my shoulder before carrying on up the stairs.

"Mitchie, we need to talk about this..."

"No, we don't. You left me, Phoebe's been looking after me and she will carry on until you leave again. There's nothing for us to talk about, dad."

"You expect me to let you be in the care of a woman who has that many kids?"

"Do not talk about her like that," I growled. "She has been like a second mother; she's looked after me all this time because she loves me enough. Dad," the word came out a sneer but I paid no attention to it. "If every time we talk it's going to be an argument, I'll stay at the Johnsons until you make up with Daisy and leave again."

"Me and Daisy might not be making up," he replied flatly.

"I'm sorry to hear that." I wasn't.

"You're not sorry."

"Nope, not one bit. You two deserved each other for the way you were but now, I don't give a damn." I faced him with a hand on my hip. "Don't talk to me until you learn to respect Phoebe and her family, until you respect mum's spirit and go back to how you were before it all happened. I want that dad."

I walked into my room, gathered as much clothing as possible and shoved it in a duffel bag, went back down the stairs, ignored my father and carried on walking until I got to the Johnsons front door.

"Mitchie? I thought you were going-" James stopped and pulled me into a hug. "Mitchie," he sighed my name, pulled me and duffel bag full of clothes into the house, shutting the door behind me.

"Oh, Mitchie, come here." Phoebe took one look at me and pulled me down next to her on the sofa. "What happened?"

"I think I just lost contact with my dad," I hiccupped and the tears started to flow down my cheeks. My dad didn't even try to stop me as I walked away. Tony regrets loving me... I feel like I'm losing myself.

"Shh, baby, don't cry," a deeper voice replaced Phoebe's as I was placed into Tony's arm. "Baby, please don't cry."

"I want to," I said through my hiccups. I blinked through the tears and saw that no one was in the room besides us.

"Mitchie, I know this isn't the time but about what I said last night..."

"I get it, you regret it, you said so yourself." I sniffled and wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my worn out red jumper.

"No, Mitchie, you misunderstood me. I didn't mean I regret falling in love with you. The only thing I regret is that I told you even though I knew you didn't feel the same way..."

"Tony-"

"Let me finish," he pulled me closer to him so his head was resting on mine. "Mitchie, you know how I feel about you and I'm not going to rush you to feel anything back for me, but I just hope that one day you will."

I pulled back and looked at his face, "Tony, I'm so sorry if I've hurt you in any way possible."

"It's okay. When we fall in love, it's basically signing a contract for getting hurt in some possible way but I wouldn't change anything that's happened, it's all led up to this point."

"Someone is sounding mushy," I leant my forehead against his. "But I'm sorry, okay? If I hurt you, just tell me."

"Mitchie, stop talking." He closed his eyes and pecked his lips against mine.

"Mitchie, can I talk to you?!" I pulled away and gave him an apologetic smile.

"Robbie wanted to talk to me earlier but I forgot."

"Go, I'll talk to you later." I waved bye as I walked out the room. Still feeling upset about my dad but, I think, I mostly cried over the boy I was leaving in the other room.

"Yeah, Robbie?"

"Wow, you been crying?"

"No," I said flatly. "Of course I have you idiot." I smiled and sat on his bed.

He handed me a tissue before talking, "about Tessa..."

~

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