i couldn't seem to fall asleep that night but laid in bed quietly, not wanting to wake up the boys.

karl was sleeping in the middle, moving besides me. "are you up?", i hear him whispering behind me, making me turn to face him with a small smile on my face.

"hi", i whispered. "hi", he responded.

"can't sleep?", his eyes were shining due to the moonlight falling on them directly as i shaked my head slightly.

"come with me", he got up quietly, making sure not to wake up nick and i did the same.

he got me to throw over a hoodie and grabbed his jacket, leading me out of the house.

"where are we going?", i ask, laughing slightly at the fact that we were in pyjamas.

"you'll see", his face turned to face me yet again, a comforting smile on it.

"you're insane, at least let me wear cute clothes when you take me somewhere at three am to murder me", i say, rolling my eyes playfully.

"you'd look good in a trash bag, shut up."

"did you just say shut up to me?", i gasp

"oh that you acknowledge but not my compliment?"

i blush slightly. "you're a simp, you compliment everyone daily", i look back to the street in front of us. "i'm only simping for one person.", he stated, sounding confident. "yeah nick loves you just as much, just marry him already"

"it's not him, idiot!", he sighted, grabbing my hand to make me stop and turn to look at him.

"it's not? well his bad cause he definitely-"

"ashton", he stopped me, not in the mood to joke around anymore. "yes?" i kept my voice down, unsure as of what to expect.

he stays quiet for some seconds, before saying "it's you. now let's go" and i just follow along, trying not to blush at the seriousness in his voice. "it's not far"

after a few more minutes of walking in a comforting silence we arrived at the beach, making me look at him in confusion. "the beach? at three am?"

a small grin appeared on his lips. "exactly."

he held onto my hand, leading us towards the water but stopping like twenty feet before it could reach us, sitting down, which i mimicked. "holy shit is the sand cold, i'm going to get a bladder infection", i make a move to stand up again but he just pulls me onto his lap carefully, making me face him.

we look at each other for a second before he asked me if that was okay for me and i couldn't help it but nod in agreement.

he put his hands around my waist loosely, not knowing what else to do with them, i keep mine in my lap.

he tilted his head up, looking at the stars with the moonlight on his face fully, making him look even more handsome than he already did. his fluffy hair fell out of his face with that movement and the corners of his mouth are on the same height as his nose, forming the most adorable smile i've ever seen.

"the stars look so beautiful tonight", he looked back at me, our eyes meeting and locking instantly. my look was dreamy and my heart was beating louder than the wind howling in my ears i was sure he could hear it as well. "and so do you."

i feel my cheeks glow red, my lips forming a genuine smile and the words . "i think you look pretty okay too" at the same time, not daring to look away for even a second.

i could feel his grip around my waist tightening and my arms moved around his neck, pulling him closer to me unsurely of if he had the intention of kissing me. "may i?" his voice was no more than a breath and i nodded in an instant before he finally pressed his lips onto mine, causing butterflies to appear in my stomach and fly up all the way to my head. the moment couldn't have been better.

his lips were soft as he was leading the kiss with dominance, i gave him the entire control, moving one hand up to tangle up in his dark blonde curls, the moonlight enveloping us in a magical atmosphere.

it was a careful and light kiss, no more than moving our lips against each others softly and i pulled away after a few seconds looking up at him with my lips parted slightly.

we didn't need words, he just pulled me into a tighter hug, letting my head lay on his shoulder as i closed my eyes.

i woke up to the two of them talking besides me the following day, still tired because we got home and went to bed at five thirty that night. it was ten now, great. i couldn't have been more exhausted.

karl was the first to say good morning as i stepped out of bed groaning. "morning", i replied in ease.

"oh the princess didn't sleep well on her pea, did she?" nick asked, earning a warning look.

karl just laughed quietly, lifting his left arm towards me. i didn't know what to do as he moved his arm to pull me in by the waist but i just smiled at him softly, saying "i'm gonna go take a shower" as i pushed it down carefully before leaving the room, not wanting to make a big deal out of it in front of nick, since i wasn't even sure what karl or even i felt and unaware of whatever this would result in, i could hear nick's question of what just happened all the way to the bathroom before locking the door. i needed a refreshing shower.

we haven't talked about the kiss, our feelings or what's going to happen next but i wanted to take things slowly and keep it to ourselves for first.

i also don't know if he told nick anything in general yet, that's something i'd have to ask him later too.