Vera offered to drive me home that day. I wanted to decline, mainly because I wanted time alone to think about Mr. Lee and how he had seen me cry an endless amount of times. I was tempted to tell Vera all about it, about the way his fingers felt on my skin, his insanely delicious peppermint smell, and his impossibility perfect lips. I wanted to tell her about how I talked for him. Instead, I kept my mouth shut, or more realistically, my pen away from my notepad. After all, it didn't seem likely a topic such as that would be typical adolescent conversation.

"So there's a bonfire tonight," Vera began, the wind from the car window whipping through her hair. The scent of her cotton candy perfume wafted around the car. I leaned against the cold leather seat and shook my head.

"Why not?" She asked, puffing her lip out and quickly glaring at my displeased gesture. "You need to stop being so antisocial."

I raised my eyebrows at her and she presented a teasing smile. She knew I was going to respond to that.

I just went to the mall with you last week! I scribbled and pointed at it. She glanced at it and turned back to the road, the flux of red and orange leaves vibrantly blowing across the window from the trees hanging over the road.

"I don't remember that," Vera lied jokingly. "I think we need to hang out again."

Fine. I wrote. Vera giggled like a child and the anxiety of trying something new was already rising with each breath I sucked in.

Vera insisted that I dress nicer than I usually do, so later that day before I left, I settled with a red dress that flowed below the waist, while the upper torso was tight with thick, thankfully comfortable straps.

"Honey," Dad said quietly, an instant tear rolling down his stubbly cheek. "I haven't seen you dress like that since you were in middle school. You look just like your mother."

I forced a smile and hugged him tightly. "Thanks Dad," I whispered, not having any energy to speak any louder unless I wanted to have a panic attack. I tried with all my might to not think of my mother. Thankfully, the fact that I would be going to a bonfire with people I didn't know took my mind off the real issue.

"Not too formal, but not too casual either," I heard Vera observe when she arrived and I entered the car, looking me up and down with a smile forming on her lips. "Red is totally your color."

I ignored her compliment and put on the black cardigan I had carried with me, already knowing that she was going to comment on it.

"Oh, come on," she whined as she eyed my cardigan, scrunching up her eyebrows in disgust. "Why are you covering half your body with that rag?"

It makes me feel comfortable. I wrote and showed it to her.

"At least wait until we get there. If you're actually cold, then put it on. It's supposed to get chilly later, anyways."

I'm happy she didn't notice the black Converse I was also wearing. Chances are she'd probably puke on them. My causal style wasn't exactly vogue.

When we arrived, Vera literally trampled out of the car, an aura of excitement radiating off her. The realization hadn't exactly hit me until now. She probably wasn't going because she wanted to go with me. She had other friends. She was going to talk to other people, connect with them in ways I couldn't. I was sure of it.

A boy with a leather jacket who reeked of cigarettes and cheap beer came up to both of us. I didn't recognize him from school, not that I would recognize anyone anyways. His mature looking face had me deducing that he was in his early twenties.

"Here," he said to Vera, handing her a red cup with liquid that was probably beer. His eyes were glued to her torso and she was batting her eyelashes consistently. I took a minute to observe the two of them locked in a secret trance. He was clearly attracted to her body, and she was clearly attracted to him.

Vera was wearing a jean skirt with a dark blue crop top, clad in a leather jacket and black leather boots to complete her usual dark style. She looked so perfect that I felt overly pathetic even standing next to her.

"And who's this?" The guy said, his eyes averting to mine. I shyly stepped backward and nervously locked my hands together.

"This is Poppy," Vera said, both of them focusing their attention on me. "She doesn't talk much."

"I think I could get her to talk," he said intensely, a streak of fear and discomfort crawling down my back.

"Doubt that," Vera mumbled inaudibly, distractedly gliding her fingers through her pin-straight blue hair.

He hungrily eyed my complexion and moved his gaze lower and lower, until I couldn't take the tension anymore. I helplessly glared at Vera, who looked slightly annoyed at the both of us, which puzzled me beyond belief.

"Poppy, this is my stupid friend, Donnie," Vera stated, gesturing at Donnie.

"Ow," Donne whined playfully. "Don't be mean."

"Shut up," Vera shot back, swatting her hands at his chest while she giggled like a school girl, her once annoyed expression now completely nonexistent.

"We're going to go walk around. Go make some friends!" Vera shouted eagerly, shoving me in the opposite direction.

If this was her way of helping me and getting the attention off of me, I would have rather had Donnie staring. Not only was I utterly alone, but I was alone in a crowded place, stranded by Vera's car and the view of tents with bright yellow lights and kegs nestled in dirt. Two grills were placed in different sections, their smoke clouding around the area with the aroma of hamburgers and hot-dogs. I even heard a guitar strumming from somewhere.

It was clear as day that she liked Donnie. I didn't really care who she liked or got involved with, but if she was going to treat me like dirt the minute he showed up, I didn't want her as a friend. This was a new side of her I had never seen before.

I wrapped my black cardigan tighter around my body, attempting to shoo away the chills of the weather and fear that were both causing me to shiver.

The whole place was in the middle of nowhere. All the cars were parked near a chain fence with the tiny entrance we had driven through. The only source of light was from the four huge tents, a giant campfire in the middle of them that few people were sitting by. Everyone else was talking, drinking, or making out. I stood still against Vera's car, doing nothing but watching as life went on without me.

I didn't know what I was so scared of at first. Yes, there was a lot of people I didn't know and that made me uncomfortable, but it wasn't like anybody was talking to me. Nobody even knew I was standing here. It was all dark from where I was, so chances are that from the view of the tents, the only thing you'd probably see was my dark, shadowy silhouette, blended in with the night sky.

Minutes turned into hours when I slumped on the ground and laid sideways, not really caring about the dirt stains I'd have on my dress or my legs. My stomach started growling and before I knew it, my eyelids were sliding shut until all I could see was pitch darkness.

It always seemed that time literally flew by when you fell asleep. That's what it felt like for me, until a strong smelling liquid seeped into the cleavage of my dress. My eyes shot open and three boys were standing in front of me, their black boots the only thing I could really make out.

"She's awake! Run!" One of the guys yelled, dropping the red cup one was holding and dropping it in my face. They all three sprinted away, back to the bonfire, a cloud of dirt in their wake. My breasts felt sticky and disgusting. I pushed myself up off the ground and examined the liquid, realizing that it was just beer. My dress was now stained and wet, and of course it had to be in the most awkward position. Could those boys have gotten any more immature? At least it wasn't urine; that would have been a thousand times worse.

I felt like crying, literally. At this point, I didn't really care about how much of a baby I was. I just wanted to curl into a ball and cry so much that my tears could fill up a pool. I wanted to lay in the dirt and let it hail and snow and rain, and let a sheet of ice blanket me until my death. I was famished, parched, dirty and tired.

I brushed some of the dirt off my legs and mentally planned a way to find Vera, when Donnie appeared from the distance. It would have been smart to bring my phone.

"Hey," he said slowly, his eyes glazed and obviously focused on my beer-stain.

I frantically grabbed my notepad from my cardigan pocket, thankful for a somewhat familiar face. I probably wouldn't have ever gone into that mass of people. Even though I would have rather seen Vera instead of Donnie, I was still happy it was somebody.

Where is Vera? I wrote and showed it to him, mentally cursing that the writing was hard to see, due to the fact that it was nighttime.

"Why're you writing? Can't you speak?" He said, an amused smile on his lips. It seemed that his awareness had risen a notch after he realized that I was writing on my notepad.

Just answer the question please. I wrote and faced it towards him.

"She's gettin' high somewhere," he mumbled. "Want some?" He took out a silver flask from his leather jacket pocket. I shook my head.

"You sure? You look like you need it," he said as he took a sip himself. I shook my head again.

"Why's your rack all wet?"

My rack? What the hell was a rack? I stood dumbfounded until he pointed at my cleavage. That was the very first time someone had told me that. Why on earth would they be called a rack? I shook my head, as if to dismiss the thought and scribbled on my notepad.

Some boys dumped beer in my dress. I wrote.

"That sucks, man," he said. "Wish I could help you. I could at least give you a ride home."

I was socially awkward, but there was no way in hell I was stupid. And he was drunk, nonetheless.

No thanks, I scribbled and showed it to him.

He shrugged. "Suit yourself." And he walked off. That was it. No perverted staring or drunken flirtatious words. He just wanted to help me. It seemed that he was too drunk for that, anyways, which was odd because usually when someone was too drunk, it meant the opposite.

"Wait!" I screeched, weirded out by the sound of my voice. My mother, once again clouded my vision, explosions of painful memories in my eyes. A pathetic tear rolled down my cheek.

Donnie turned around, looking as if he had no idea where he was or even who he was. After realization had hit him, he stumbled back over to me. "Yeah?"

Can I borrow your phone? I wrote. I want to text my dad. To go home.

"Yeah, alright." He slid his phone out of his pocket and handed it to me. "Here."

I quickly texted my dad, telling him where this place was and to pick me up. This place was literally an hour away. I had a long time. Dad responded shortly, telling me he was on his way and would be here as fast as he could. He told me not to worry, and I could almost feel the concern in his texted words.

"Just don't get anybody busted for drinking or smoking." Donnie said after I handed him back his phone. "This is kinda our only place to chill."

I nodded and we both awkwardly stood for a few minutes.

"Want me to wait with you?" He asked. The truth was, I did want him to wait with me. It was dark from over here and the thought of being a target to any hammered guy who wanted to fool around wasn't exactly to my liking.

I nodded a yes, and he slid down and I slid down next to him.

He broke the silence. "I did get you to talk," he said proudly. I chuckled quietly, and in that moment, I forgot all about the fact that Vera, my only friend, had ditched me, and now the guy she probably liked was sitting next to me.

We waited in silence after that. He probably thought about things I didn't know about. I, on the other hand, thought about the person I wanted to see right now. I wished he could save me like a superhero, or magically show up at this bonfire like how it always seemed to happen in romantic films or novels. But this wasn't typical. I was a student and he was my teacher. Chances are, we'd never cross paths as far as I knew.