I was waiting for Shay to come and was crying meanwhile. I hated him and loved him at the same time. The hardest thing to realize was that even though I was extremely hurt and pissed, I still loved him, I was still worried for him back there.

Eventually I decided to call the police. His friends will prove that he was tied to a chair and that the Shadows used violence against him. After calling the police my heart was calmer, I could breathe more freely.

Shay finally reached the house and I ran towards the car.

"What happened?" she immediately saw my "beautiful" red face that looked like a tomato know.

I told her everything on our way home and she got even more pissed than I did. Before this moment I didn't think it was possible because I just couldn't calm myself down back there. It was just an impossible thing to do. There was even a moment when I thought my heart was going to burst with heart and anger.

On our we also called Meggy and told her about what happened. The only person we didn't tell the news to was Matt, because he could make things he would regret later. Moreover, now that he confessed his feelings I don't want to involve him in this dangerous and weird situation.

At this point I felt so empty. Actually, I don't know whether I feel empty or I feel so much that it feels empty. The more I thought about all of this the more it hurt.

I remembered all of our moments and didn't know which ones to believe, which ones were genuine. All these thoughts didn't stop all day and they lasted for a very long time.

We came home and I didn't want to talk at all. I went to my room and started crying again. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I needed some alone time, even though Shay and Meggy weren't ready to give that to me.

They constantly came to check on me, to ask if I was okay and I actually didn't even want to answer that question, because when a person's left with their painful feelings and past happy memories it's a complex and really dangerous combination.

Meggy told me that she talked to Julian and that they were okay now. She said "they" because she knew I would shake off any news about Damon, even though I couldn't lie to myself and say that I wasn't interested in what happened to him.

The police arrested Lucas and his team. They were gonna stay in the police for a while now, until the police figure out how long they're gonna keep them.

"If Damon comes to our house, don't let him in. I don't want to see him," I said looking at Shay and Meggy. They nodded and then wanted to leave when Shay stopped.

"I know that it's not the moment, but you know me, I can't keep it in. I wanna tell you that I told you so. You shouldn't have trusted him, but unfortunately, at this point I really thought he had feelings for you..."

"I don't care anymore...It doesn't matter enough. I don't even know whether he really did or does or he was just being an incredible actor. I should actually buy one of those Oscars that they are selling in the gift shops and send it to him, because he deserved it. "

They didn't say anything and left the room. They went to the living room and stayed there the whole evening. Shay got a text from Elijah that even though they tried to keep Damon away from Bailey he decided that he had to see her and he was coming. Shay warned me about that and I was so thankful to Elijah for what he did, because I had to prepare myself, gather up some courage and patience.

Five minutes later he came to my house and started ringing the doorbell. I came to the living room, but didn't open the door. He knew that I wasn't going to open the door for him, but he continued to ring it without stopping. I wouldn't open it, I was stronger than that. I heard some screams on the other side of the door and it was the other guys shouting at him and trying to pull him away from the door.

"Calm down dude. You can't talk to her in this state. Go home, calm down and we'll come back here together," screamed Julian.

"I can't. I have to talk to her. ANGEEEEEEEEELLL! ANGEEEEEL OPEN THE DOOR! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!! OPEN THE DOOR PLEASE!!"

The girls looked at me to see my reaction, but I didn't or maybe even couldn't react in any way. I was standing in the middle of the living room looking at the closed door with a dumb emotionless expression on my face.

"Damon stop it already. If I were in her shoes, I wouldn't open the door either," said a low voice and I almost didn't recognize this voice because he talked so rarely. It was Elijah. Elijah was the only one who took my side. But that angered Damon even more.

"I KNOW IT OKAY? AREN'T YOU MY FRIEND? CAN'T YOU BE ON MY SIDE? DON'T GET ON MY NERVES NOW ELIJAH!" He screamed at Elijah and I got so pissed at that. He didn't have the right to shout at Elijah when HE was the only one to blame.

"I am your friend, but I don't want to lie to you. I am objective and objectively you're wrong. I'm not scared of you Damon, I will repeat it how many times you want me to, I wouldn't open the door for you," he answered Damon in a low voice.

"If she doesn't want to open the door, tell her to open the window at least," someone said laughing at his own joke. It was obvious without any hint that it was evidently Owen't smart remark.

Damon came back to the door and started banging on it. He didn't want to stop. He started ringing the doorbell again. I looked back at the girls and they were silently sitting on the couch afraid to do anything because they didn't know what would anger me in this situation. They looked at me making sure that I was still patient and that I didn't want to slap him with that door. I was still keeping myself composed and wasn't gonna let him play with my nerves.

Then the guys pulled him away, at least that's what I concluded from his screams. They took him away and I finally let myself breathe freely. I haven't even realized that I was holding my breath.

"I'll go back to my room if you guys don't mind," I said pointing in the direction of my room.

"Are you okay, really? I don't want you to give us an empty answer. We really want to know what you're feeling," said Meggy with a concerned face.

"Megs, do you know why I prefer not to answer this question? Because it would take too long for me to answer it. I don't even know where to start from. If you still want me to answer the question, I will. This sucks. Everything sucks and hurts. And just like the professors say during the lectures, 'Does that answer your question?' "

"It does. We won't disturb you right now, but please, tell us when you want to talk about it. Let us know if you want to let it all out and then move on," she said these words with such a sadness in her voice and in her eyes.

"I will...thank you guys," I said smiling slightly and going to my room.

I sat next to the window and started staring out of it. I was looking at the sky wondering if it understands me. Sounds too poetic, right? But don't forget that my major's English and Communications, so I should be too poetic sometimes. I was wondering if nature ever feels the pain we do or whether it can relate to us sometimes seeing us suffer.

Just like every girl I started devastating myself even more by listening to extremely sad songs and making the situation worse. As if the situation wasn't bad enough by itself. I listened to Someone you loved by Lewis Capaldi, Love your memory by Miranda Lambert, Gravity by Sara Bareilles, Love me or Leave me by Little Mix, Love is a losing game by Amy Winehouse, and many more.

I continued looking at the clouds that were slowly moving around each other, taking each other's places, playing each other's roles. I actually cried some more. I tried not to, but unfortunately the didn't want to listen to me. They didn't want to lie anymore. They were tired of being held. And as if the situation wasn't bad, heartbreaking and dramatic enough, it started to rain.

My phone started vibrating and I saw that it was him calling me. I looked at his name on my phone and remembered how I used to call him 'demon' from time to time. I was actually right, he really turned out to be a demon after all.

My heart wanted to pick up his call so much...it wanted me to forget all of that and just run into his arms and tell him that even though he might not love me, I loved him and it was strong enough to cover the absence of his love, but my brain didn't let me. My burn and the big whole inside of me reminded me of all his wrongdoings and of all the times that shouldn't be forgiven.

The vibration ended and I finally let my breath out again, but I didn't know that he was going to repeat it over 20 times.

He left me messages telling me that he loved me and that he wouldn't stop fighting for me. He said that now he realized that it was wrong of him not to say those three words, but he really meant everything he said and did before all of this happened. He started texting me that he loved me every day, but in different and I would even say in all the possible ways. I wasn't answering any of his texts or calls, but he knew that I saw them and I read the messages even though I didn't reply them. He actually didn't even need my replies, he just wanted me to listen, while he talked about his feelings and thoughts.

There was one particular message that I probably would always keep in my heart.

"Angel...hey...I know that you won't reply, but I'm still writing you for the thousandth time...Are you doing well? Because I'm actually doing very bad...It's funny how I didn't understand that you were the only reason I smiled in a day and you were the only one I wanted to open up to. And now my days feel empty without you...I even counted that I haven't seen you for 125 hours and trust me I feel 125 times worse than I felt when you saw me for the last time...Angel...I am so afraid of losing you....Come back to me...I miss you...I love you..."

I cried so much when I read this message of his and I couldn't even sleep that night. He hasn't seen me for that long because I didn't go to the university for 3 days, I wrote the professors that I was feeling very bad and I wasn't lying to them. The other 2 days was the weekend.

I decided that I wouldn't be absent anymore and I couldn't even do it because we had exams this upcoming week. Instead of thinking about what happened I decided to switch my feelings off and study. I studied more and more every day and I wasn't eating that well because I didn't have the appetite. I started forcing myself to eat after one day I almost passed out at home.

Now that I concentrated only on my studies my results were getting better and better every day. While I was studying Damon just couldn't let go of me.

Starting from the day that we broke up Damon told me he would not stop fighting for me and every time he was thinking of something new, something I wouldn't think of. He was trying to keep my attention on him by doing little or big romantic things that would let him stay in my memories.

One day he would leave flowers on the porch accompanied with a picture of him. In the picture he was holding this bouquet and he was stretching his hand towards the camera. I turned the photo around and saw that he wrote a note on it, "I knew you wouldn't take the flowers from me directly, so let's pretend I'm giving them to you."

Another day he wrote my name with Snickers, again, at the porch.

Actually one of my favorite days was when he printed out all of our pictures and made an album, writing what he remembered most about that day next to each picture.

I didn't throw any of those "presents" in the trash, except the flowers, as they eventually withered, although I kept some of the petals. But I also wasn't keeping these presents close to me, because even though he did all of this, there was a lack of something. I had anger in me and I couldn't get rid of it.

The exam week came and I started going to class. We had an exam from Music & Lit class too, the class that we were taking together. I came to the classroom and not making eye contact with him, left my belongings and went to the bathroom. I always had to go to the bathroom before my exams, as washing my face with cold water calmed me down a little.

I came back to the classroom and sat down where I usually sat. Mr. Arthur wasn't here yet so I decided to text Meggy or Shay to know how they were and I saw that my wallpaper was different.

He changed it to "I miss you." I have totally forgotten to first of all take my phone with me and to change my password, as he knew it. I tried not to react to it in any way, because I was sure he was waiting for my reaction.

He continued doing these things for a very long time, I mean he keeps doing them still and it was already another season. It was already winter, when the midterms were over, when everything was covered in white, when it was as cold as my heart right now, and when the final exams were slowly coming.

He kept wanting to talk to me, but I wasn't ready to...I wanted to decide what I wanted to do for myself and then maybe meet him or maybe even he wouldn't do anything by that time anymore. One day I even heard something constantly colliding with my window, I approached the window and saw that he wrote "We should talk." I wanted to go and talk to him, but I suddenly heard a knock on the door and when I went downstairs I saw that it was my mother, her boyfriend, and his child.

Shay was as shocked as I were. We knew that they were coming, but in this situation we have completely forgotten about it. Before knowing that she had a boyfriend, I imagined the moment she would come back and I would hug her so tightly. But now that she's here I felt kind of betrayed. I felt betrayal not only from my side, but also my father's.

Little did I know back then that he knew it and he had a girlfriend himself. Funny, huh? And after all of that they want me to believe that that was a thing called 'love' or 'true love'? Nah, don't believe it anymore.

My mother started trying to get instantly involved in my life. She thought she just put me on pause and now she was here to press the button play. It wasn't as easy as she thought, because so many things changed after she left and so many people changed.

I realized that from the day that I got to know about the bet till this day I was hurting every day and I was feeling weak and lame every day. So, I decided that I wouldn't waste my life anymore and I would change myself. I put my fragile and vulnerable feelings aside and decided that I wouldn't hurt anymore.

As we didn't have that much space at home Shay came to my room and from that day on we slept together. We got very close during that period and the Damon situation contributed to that even more. One day she told me that she felt that I still couldn't get over his situation, she felt that I was still angry and extremely hurt. So, she decided that we try something. She told me I still could back down any second.

I felt some interesting kind of an energy gathering up in me. Suddenly I started not caring that much, I felt more confident and less sad. Whatever they say is right that it's all in the brains and if a person decides something and decides to truly believe it, they'll be able to feel it and reach it. That's how it happens people, you just wake up one day and decide that you will change and you will say buh-bye to your past self because their mission is already over and it is time for a new you.

That day Damon called me for the 583492th time and I finally picked it up. He wanted to meet me and I agreed and my agreement got him in a shock.

When we met he apologized, confessed and asked for another chance and that's when I realized that it was my chance. I told him that I agreed to give him another chance. He hugged me in disbelief, happy with my answer, because he clearly didn't expect me to do any of this. I put on a confident smirk on my face just like he had one in the past.

It was time to switch the roles and hit replay.

I switched my role and pressed replay.

Let's see what happens now.

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GUUUUUUYSSSSSS I can't believe I finished my first book😭😭😭😭🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭Oh Goood... 6 am in the morning and I'm done...WOAH!

I hope you LOVED the first book of the (expected) series😅

Please tell me what you guys thought about it because I don't even know what I feel myself after finishing the book I've been writing for 2 years😅😅

Thank you so so so much if you reached this point and I loooove you❤️🥺thanks for all the comments and votes and even just simple views, they inspired me soooo much that I can't even explain😍😍😍

Love you guys and please wish me luck in the Wattys awards 🍀🤞🏻😉

STAY HEALTHY and I love you once again❤️

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Published on 29.09.20