As much as I did not like my mother, there was a particular tone that would send shivers down my spine. The tone reminded me of the nights I stood before both my parents when I scored a bit less in class.

Somehow since my dislike for them had increased over the years, I got myself together and got myself ready to talk to her.

"Good afternoon Mother." I greet her with no emotions attached to my voice.

"It's good to know that you still have some manners." I heard her say, I could help but chuckle. "I need to thank some people for that. May I know your purpose in calling me?" I ask her very professionally.

"I heard from someone that you're not in New York but in another state."

"And how is that a question for me?" I ask.

"I want to know if this is true."

"It very much is," I answer. "Now since you've got your answer, I'm ending this conversation." I say.

"The conversation hasn't ended yet Holly." I groan. "You said that you have stay back in New York because you have some assignments to complete." I let out a sigh.

"Mom, I'm going to be honest right now, you very much know how I wasn't interested in coming Los Angeles for Christmas." I gave a blunt reply.

"Holly mind your tone." She warned me.

"I'm minding my tone. It wasn't a lie that I have a lot of assignments and I'm away from New York because of another assignment." I answer.

"Indeed, with a boy, I heard." She scoffed.

"Why does that concern you? Nothing ever mattered to you; I mean you still want me to date that player that you happen to love a lot." I snap.

"Daniel is not a player. He was devastated when you broke up with him." She got a bit soft and told me.

"Not a player and being devastated do not exist in his world. How can you be oblivious to reality? You believe what is shown to you and you believe nothing that your daughter says. You never have."

"We're trying to change, Holly but then you decide not to come home."

"Home?" I ask. "Do you even know the meaning of home? I never felt home with you and dad." I told her with anger.

"So the boy your sleeping with is making you feel at home." She snapped at me. "I'm not sleeping with anyone mother. I have an assignment with a partner and he was kind enough to invite me to relive Christmas, something no matter how much you try mother, will never be the same between the three of us." I almost yell at her.

"You will not yell at me, Holly." She scolds me.

"And you cannot make fake assumptions about me. You clearly don't know me and even if you try to, it's never going to be the same." I tell her. "Fake assumptions? Honey I heard you were eager to not be innocent from your friends and Daniel." I couldn't believe the words that came from her mouth.

"You think I asked for it?" I gasp. She remained silent. Couldn't we have one proper conversation?

"Oh my God, you both chose to be oblivious to the things happening in my life!" I yell.

"Oblivious? We were trying to make sure you have a good future, we know we did not spend quality time with you and we do regret it." She begins to apologise.

"Don't begin apologising now, mother. You cannot change what happened and even if I have to forgive, it would take forever." I told her. "A miracle needs to occur in our lives for me to forgive you." I add.

"You have no idea of what I went through during all those years, I lived independently while living with you, I dated a boy who hides his identity and when I wasn't in my senses, he took my innocence. I felt I was in love and never really bothered about it. I was wrong, I was even wrong about the fact there are people to love me on this planet. Nobody would love me and it's not because I pity myself." She remains silent.

"Your daughter was lucky enough to have some sensible people in her life that taught her values. It's a shame to think that you think of me as someone who is sleeping around." I tell her.

"Hate is a strong word but I dislike you and dad and no child should ever be telling their parents this." I calm myself as I told her this. "You gave me no reasons to love you."

"Holly I'm sorry." It sounded genuine.

"I'm disappointed, mother. I know you regret having me, I've been told all about it."

"Holly-"

"I think this conversation is over. I apologise for my tone." I say and decline the call.

I silently stood where I was and then I felt the tears trickle down from my eyes. I backed myself against the wall and slid down and brought my knees close to me and started to cry.

I rarely cried after my rare conversations with my mother. This conversation was on a different level and I couldn't believe her words. I wanted to lose my innocence on purpose is what she thinks but what she doesn't know is that I was drunk and Daniel took the advantage. It felt alright when he kept telling me he loved me but boy, don't people know how to lie for their own needs.

How could I even have been that naive when I knew what happens at wild teenager parties?

I got up after sometime and made my way to the bed and sat down with my back resting on the head of the bed. That one phone call reminded me of how messed my life is. What am I saying, I realised how much more messed up it is when I saw what a home and what family means since I came in here.

----

I forgot about the hotdogs for lunch. With the time that I saw on my phone, I missed dinner as well. I woke up in darkness, I had slept through the afternoon and the evening as well.

I got off from the bed and went to change into something more comfortable. I washed my face with some warm water and came back to my bed and sat down. My room was cold since I never switched on the heater of my room nor was my fireplace lit.

One stupid conversation has led me to be cold and hungry.

I needed something to drink, perhaps a little water would do for now. Hugging myself tighter with the sweater I'm wearing, I slowly open the door of my room and walked very softly down the corridor and down the stairs.

I didn't switch on the lights of the kitchen, instead, I had one of the tiny lamps on the counter lit. I reached for a glass and filled it water and sat down on one of the chairs.

The whole conversation I had with my mother started replaying my mind. I never wanted anything great from them, all I wanted was a little love a parent would have for their child but I couldn't expect it since I was never really meant to be on this planet.

She thought I was spoilt, a brat. I never intended to be them; I never wanted to climb out of my bedroom window to attend schoolmates' parties.

Life, my life was a mess and the mess couldn't be untangled.

I took another sip of my water and then closed my eyes and just sat there. There was no way that I was going to sleep tonight.

As I took my next sip of water, I felt someone beside me. I set my glass down and turned to see who it was. There he was, the boy who decided to give the best Christmas experience, standing there with his arms crossed across his chest.

"Hey." I greet him with a weak smile.

"Hey." I heard him say. I take another sip of my water, in that time he took a seat on the chair next to me.

"How are you feeling?" I set the glass on the table and looked at him. "I'm fine." I nod and tell him.

"You're lying."

"I'm serious, I'm fine." I tell him again.

"You're not fine, you're freezing and you're not feeling it." He showed me my arm that had goosebumps, that's when I realized that I wasn't wearing a thick sweater to keep me warm.

Great.

"Come with me." I look at him. "You need to come with me." He tells me. I nod and got up from the chair and followed him. We walked into the living room and instantly I felt warm. "I never knew the fireplace was lit through the night," I say as I sat on the couch he was on, not beside him.

"Dad must have forgotten to switch it off," he replies. I leaned against the couch and looked over at him. "Why did you bring me in here?" I ask him.

"You needed it," he told me. "I have to say though, don't you love freezing yourself?" he said with a chuckle.

"What do you mean?" I frown, he did not reply but I soon figured out what he was talking about it. The first real conversation I had with Jasper and him handing me his coat, the thought of it did make me smile.

"You remembered!" he exclaimed, with slight sarcasm.

"Of course I do. In my defence, the weather was very unpredictable." I told him. "Whatever makes you sleep at night." he chuckled, I giggle and looked at the fireplace and at all the stockings that were hanging above it.

"Holly?"

"Yeah?" I respond without looking at him. "Are you really alright?" he asks me, I slowly turn my head to see him. His face showed concern, I've only seen that face on Mr Xavier, my butler when he finds out I got a yelling from my parents for getting in trouble and on Emma when I was still recovering from Daniel.

I nod with a small smile on my face, "I'm perfectly fine." I reply. I didn't want him to know my messed up life. "If you say so, though I know you're lying." I heard him say.

"Does it look that obvious from my face?" I look at him, he gave a slight nod. "You're upset," he told me. "I realised that in the way you ran up to your room and never came out. Jessica told us that you weren't hungry and that you wanted to sleep." he continues to tell me, I let out a sigh.

"I wish I could tell you, Jasper but I don't want you to know about it." I shook my head and told him. "About what?" he asks me.

"I don't know." I sigh.

"Holly, I'd like to know you." I turn to him. "There's nothing much to know about me, nothing interesting. You definitely gathered that when you heard about Christmas and me." I told him.

"Then let me know the things I should," he tells me. "I want the two of us to know more about each other." his eyes met mine.

"Why?" I ask him, he didn't respond immediately but when he was, he smiled.

"A little voice within me told me that we should get to know each other," he tells me, I sigh again. He leaned back on the couch, his eyes still on mine. I looked away, took a few deep breaths. I felt like I could trust him, I felt like he should know but I wasn't sure if I should.

I let go of my second thoughts and I decide to say it out.

"I, Holly Anne Winters, am a spoilt brat according to my parents. I've gotten out of my bedroom windows after half-past ten to attend parties in my junior and senior year." I begin to tell him about me.

"I never intended to disobey rules put down by my parents but since I realised that they really did not care about me and since I found out that they had no other choice but to have me, I decided to be a rebel and not really care about their words. They cared only about their jobs and would do anything to keep a smile on other people's face. Thanksgiving evenings would usually be lonely and I would sit on the couch and eat some pie till my parents came home, Christmas was just like a random day for them." he had a frown on his face.

"I don't like my parents much, Jasper. 'Family' is a word that never had any meaning to me until I saw yours. My grandparents and my aunts taught me a few values and as I grew up, I learnt more."

"I wasn't like this at all." I laugh a bit. "I would have my girlfriends over for sleepovers for the weekend, watched romantic movies with them, a shopaholic and was in a popular group. I had a crush on the most handsome football player of my grade, back then I never knew how to judge people and through more interactions, Daniel asked me out in Junior year." I remembered the moment when he stood in front of my house and he asked me out with a rose in his hand.

"My parents were really happy by my choice, Daniel's parents and my parents became good friends. Daniel took me out on Thanksgiving and made sure I got Christmas gifts while we were together, I was extremely happy with my life. I had somebody by my side who I thought cared about me. I never expected things to turn around."

"Daniel and I always dreamed of studying in NYU and that's exactly what we did but it was only once we came to New York that I found Daniel's true colours." I looked away from him.

"A toy. That's what I was for him. The two years of so the called relationship was all to prepare me to be a part of what he had planned. He wanted me to be like the other girls who would fall at his feet to get used. I did not know what to do. We fought for months and I finally decided to break it off. You've heard that part of it I guess." I turn to see him nod his head slightly.

"Emma became my therapist and tried to help me out. Like any teenager, I cried with ice creams but after that, I changed. My parents were furious by my actions and wanted me to get back with Daniel, I stood firmly by my decision. Only the people in New York know about the true Daniel, he's an angel back in California." I continue.

"I never really spoke to my parents after that until a month back when they wanted me to fly there for Christmas. I clearly declined their offer since it would be a lot better without them. I'm not very sure of what happened in between, they got to know I'm not in New York and my mother thinks that I'm a bad girl." I brought my knees closer to my chest; I had tears in my eyes recollecting the conversation in my mind. "My parents think of me as some stranger and I know it's not right to hate them but Jasper, they haven't given me any reason like or love them. I don't know what love means because I was cut off from the people who cared for me by my parents." Images of my parents arguing with my grandparents and aunts came back into my mind, those were probably one of the worst days in my life.

I couldn't stop the tears that came out from my eyes, I wiped my tears away with my hands. I felt Jasper beside me now, I looked at him and he had a very comforting face.

"I'm sorry for crying." I apologise.

"You don't have to apologise. Crying isn't a crime." I chuckle, so did he. I leaned against his shoulder, he had an arm behind me and rubbed my arm to comfort me. I felt comfortable, cosy and safe. I haven't felt this comfortable, he was warm, cuddly because of the soft sweater.

"I know how you feel, Holly." I heard him say.

"What do you mean?" I asked before I sniffle again. "You've got an amazing family who is really supportive," I tell him.

"I know and it is because of them that I'm me. What I meant about knowing how you feel is because I went through something." I sit up and look at him, wondering what he meant by that. "Junior year wasn't exciting just for you." He looked at me.

"I wasn't very different back then, I was a bit more social I guess." I nod as he begins. "My freshmen year was a little rough since Cassie, my first girlfriend moved back to Italy in the middle of eighth grade. Cassie and I dated for about a year and a half and it was hard to end it in that much time." He looked at me. "Later towards the end of the year or the beginning of sophomore, the popular girl asked me out and I have to admit I had a tiny crush on her. She was gorgeous and I almost instantly forgot about Cassie. She was amazing and Juliet seemed to like her as well, I brought her home once or twice, maybe for even more than that."

"And then it all tumbled down in Junior year. I should have known the very day she asked me out, it was strange of her to ask me out but it was just to get close to one of my friend. They were having a happy life behind my back. I took a stand and ended it there. I became less social in Senior year, I never went to my prom, I just sat in my room."

"I planned on going to NYU, I wanted to get out of here for a bit. It all became better towards the end of senior year when I met Ryan and luckily he was going to NYU itself. I didn't change much, I just did not socialize much and decided to stay to myself." We looked at each other. I placed my head back on his shoulder. His story explained why Juliet told me all that, that girl did a very wrong thing by giving Jasper up for anybody else.

"I'm sorry." I managed to say.

"It's okay, I'm fine now. Dad tells me that I will find someone who is going to be a keeper." I heard him say. "I hope you find her." I say.

"I hope you find a keeper for yourself." I nod slightly, leaning my head against his shoulder again, "What he did, you never deserved to give him your time. You deserve someone better." I smile, I felt his head against mine and we remained in the position for a while, in silence.

I felt a lot better, I felt lighter. I slowly close my eyes with a small smile formed on my lips.

"We got to know about each other by telling each other about our past." I chuckled as Jasper broke the silence. I sit up and look at him. "It's good to be different once in a while." I smile.

"Yeah." he nods and he got up. "I think you might be able to get some sleep now." he tells me as he offered me his hand. I placed my hand in his and got up from the couch. We walked out of the living room and climbed the stairs.

"It's strange to have spoken about our past when I don't know much of your favourites." I laugh softly, so did he.

I walked and stood in front of my door, he was standing front of his.

"Purple." he looked at me when I spoke. "My favourite colour is purple," I say again.

"Would it be a coincidence if that is my favourite colour?" he asked, I blush a little.

"It's a coincidence." I smile, he smiled too.

"Night Holly Anne, Morning as well since it's three in the morning."

"Night and Morning Jasper."

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