"Baby you were everything I ever wanted

Bought a wedding ring it's in my pocket

Planned to ask the other day

Knew you'd run away

So I guess I just forgot it

Puppy love ain't what it was, darlin'

Feelings that we have are so alarmin'

You was there before the fancy cars and

You was there when I was just a starvin' artist

Take your time my baby

Cause I'm waitin' for you, for you"

✰

Arlo Abbott was always good at being alone.

She had no choice but to be. Her parents were always gone and her best friend was a teenage boy with better things to do than follow her around on her bookstore trips or listen to vinyl records in her room.

In fact, as she grew older Arlo began to enjoy being alone.

She liked that she didn't have to explain herself to anyone or overanalyze her every action before she did it. Arlo liked the peace that came with being in her own presence because well, nobody knew her like herself.

As Arlo walks through the streets of New York City by herself, wired earbuds in her ears and a tote bag full of books needing to be read on her shoulder, she revels in her loneliness. Nobody was making her talk about things she didn't want to or asking her about her plans for the future- she hated when people did that.

Arlo tried her best not to think about the future because quite frankly, if she didn't focus on getting through each day, she'd probably have a panic attack.

For example, Arlo was in New York for the sole purpose of a meeting that the label had requested to have with her. As soon as she got the call there was a feeling of trepidation settled deep in her stomach. She knew she should have told Luke, but she didn't want him worrying when he needed to focus on the band.

Instead of allowing herself to panic about the meeting that she knows for a fact can mean nothing good, the girl chooses to romanticize her life alone. She finds a bookstore with a cute little cafe attached and curls up in a chair by the window with her book in her hand.

She focuses on feeling like herself again.

Arlo knew who she was with Luke, but from the moment he left for London, she'd come to the realization that she didn't know who she was without him anymore. Who even was she before him?

A short light blue sundress with little white flowers decorating the fabric brushes her thighs as she sits in the empty bookstore. Her white cropped cardigan falls off of her shoulders but she pays it no mind, far too enthralled with the words on the page in front of her to care.

Arlo gets lost in her book, the tip of her pen pressed to her bottom lip as she scrawls her thoughts in-between the lines, underlining quotes that she found a particular love for. She's so lost in doing this in fact, that by the time she glances at her phone again it's time for her to go to the meeting.

She also finds a few messages from Luke and the boys that cause a dumb smile to stretch across her face. They were getting ready to record a few live covers for BBC radio and judging by the pictures that she was sent, Michael is by far the happiest.

The last time she saw them, the boys were arguing over who would get to pick which song they covered. Luke wanted to do a Lana Del Rey song, Calum wanted to do a Nine Inch Nails song and Ashton wanted to do a Beatles song, but in the end Michael's choice of "Drown" by Bring Me the Horizon had won.

In the picture that Michael had sent to their group chat, Michael has a wide smile on his face that makes Arlo's chest feel warm at how happy he looks. Ashton seems to be attempting to rip the price tag from an unfamiliar black t-shirt on Luke's body. Arlo makes a mental note to tell him how much she likes the simple black t-shirt with white script on it later as her eyes move over to where Calum has a whiskey bottle pressed to his lips, a middle finger being thrown up.

Arlo rolls her eyes. Calum made sure to tell her all about how excited he was that he is of legal drinking age overseas and could get into nightclubs and bars. She quickly types back a response that she knows will annoy Calum- something along the lines of pointing out how grown out his blond streak is.

With an exhale, Arlo wishes them luck and locks her phone. Her legs already feel like lead as she begins walking towards the familiar label building. The walk goes by incredibly fast and by the time she's standing in the elevator on her way to the meeting room, her knees are shaking with nerves.

Arlo rereads the instruction email on her phone, her chest beginning to ache with nerves as she comes to the correct door. With a trembling hand, Arlo knocks on the door.

Almost immediately, the door opens and a middle-aged man that Arlo's never met before greets her. "You made it!" He gives a smile dripping with faux compassion. "You must be Arlo, I'm James. It's nice to meet you, finally."

Arlo furrows her brows at his words but shakes the hand he extends out to her nonetheless. Her heart continues to pound as she notices that James is the only one in the small office-like room. There's no sign of Matt, the original representative they met and she suddenly wishes he were there instead.

"You can take a seat." James gestures to one of the daunting chairs facing his desk as he closes the door behind them.

Arlo swallows thickly, the sight of him closing the two of them in the office causing a pit in her stomach. She wanted to ask him to leave the door cracked or maybe even see if anyone else could join them so she wouldn't be trapped in the room alone with him, but she can't seem to find her voice.

James takes a seat and Arlo can't help but notice the way his eyes trail over her bare legs, making her wish she would've worn jeans instead. "How are you enjoying your day in New York?" The man makes small talk as he begins clicking away on a computer.

Arlo's hands rest at her sides, her fingernails beginning to dig into her thighs as a way to cope with the anxiety building in her chest. She felt like she was in trouble, despite the fact that she hadn't done anything wrong.

"It's nice." Her voice is shaky. "The weather is nice."

James sends the girl a knowing smile. "Not as good as LA, though? You seemed to have a good time with the band over on the west coast." He begins and Arlo knows for a fact that she walked right into his trap. "Except for that incident with the paparazzi, huh?" He fakes sympathy.

Arlo's heart drops at the mention of the event and she wishes more than anything that Luke was at her side. But, he wasn't he was doing his job and it wasn't fair for her to be reliant on him. "Uhm yeah, that was..."

"Listen, Arlo." James cuts her off, his eyes flicking to the clock like he's on a schedule. "I want you to understand that I, as well as the entire label, have your best interest in mind. I'm sure Luke does too." The mention of his name causes Arlo to still and it all seems to hit her at once.

This meeting is about her relationship with Luke.

"The album comes out in a few weeks, the world tour starts a week after that." James begins, his eyes scanning over her with fake sympathy. "I've been in this industry for years, I've seen plenty of relationships like yours and Luke's. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I think it would be in your best interest to cut things off with him."

Arlo's ears are ringing, her heartbeat thumping so fast that she's not sure she's not having a heart attack. Her nails dig into her thighs but even that pain isn't enough to distract her from the panic in her veins.

"He's going to be busy seeing the world, the album is going to be everywhere and the fanbase is going to continue to increase." James continues. "He's eighteen, and in his prime- all of his nights are going to be spent partying, and with all of that attention you're just not going to be able to hold his attention, Arlo. Trust me when I say, you want to get out now."

Somehow, the man in front of her had been able to conjure all of her fears up into one mental attack. Of course, Arlo had spent sleepless nights drowning in insecurity. Luke was a rockstar, he was one of the most famous musicians in the media. Why would he stick to her, just another girl from his hometown?

But, Luke has never made her feel that way. Not once had she ever doubted him and Arlo used to pride herself on that. James's words were beginning to seep under her skin and settle in her subconscious, tearing her apart from the inside.

"You care about him a lot I'm assuming, you might even love him, yeah?" James asks, causing Arlo to freeze for an entirely different reason.

Yeah, I think I do. Even if it terrifies me, I think I do.

Arlo nods, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip. She could feel her phone buzzing on her lap and she had no doubt it was Luke, for he promised to call her as soon as he was done with recording. She feels around blindly for the silence button until the vibration stops.

"You're going to hold him back, Arlo." James stresses his words. "Even if he does stay faithful to you, he's not going to have time to be a good partner. If you think his schedule now is packed, you have no idea what's coming their way." The man links his hands, placing them on the desk in between them.

"Publicity is a huge part of the band's success." James winces, acting as though he's preparing himself to tear her part when she knows for a fact he couldn't care less "Arlo, don't take this the wrong way, but you're not enough for us. Your relationship with Luke isn't enough to draw in new interest for the album. The public doesn't want a juvenile high school relationship. They want passion and lust and maybe even a little bit of destruction. You can't make headlines and that's going to hurt him- hurt the band as a whole."

Arlo's stunned into silence. What do you say to that? When some corporate guy is spitting all of your insecurities in your face, telling you a million different ways you're not good enough?

What hurt even worse was that Arlo was beginning to believe he was right.

The rest of the "meeting" is a blur. Arlo's given a time period because just breaking her boyfriend's heart wouldn't be good enough- she had to make sure it wasn't too close to tour or the album release. Just enough to upset him but not enough to deter him from the band. She couldn't believe he was talking to her like that, as if her relationship was insignificant and replaceable.

Arlo practically stumbles out of the record label building and begins walking. She walks for hours, making sure to send Luke a vague text with some excuse that she was taking a nap so that he wouldn't keep calling. She doesn't have a destination in mind as she walks, nor does she even remember where she's gone.

All Arlo knows is that she spent the entire afternoon walking around the city like it might somehow give her answers and the sun had already gone down. She knows it's not smart to walk around the city at night and she still had to get a hotel room for the night, so she decides to turn back.

That is, until she becomes familiar with the street corner she's on.

Before she can second guess herself, Arlo walks in an exhausted daze over to the fire escape. She climbs the ladder just as she had once before, sitting on the small balcony. Just as Arlo raises her first to knock on the window, the curtains draw back and the familiar blond appears.

"Arlo." The blond girl says simply. "I wasn't expecting to see you again."

Arlo gulps, scooting over to make room for Molly as she climbs out of her window to sit on the fire escape beside her. The green-eyed girl holds out a cigarette for her and although Arlo hates the smell, she takes it this time.

"I don't know who else to talk to." Arlo confesses, a weird feeling stirring in her stomach as Molly's bright eyes scan over her face.

"Did that boyfriend of yours tell you he loves you? Did you flip out and leave or something?" Molly asks, raising a brow. "Because as soon as you left a month or so ago that's what I was placing my bets on." The girl says bluntly.

"No." Arlo says hoarsely, her voice cracking with emotion. "That'd be a lot easier to deal with."

Molly takes a drag of her cigarette, a smirk on her lips as she watches Arlo hesitantly do the same, the younger girl coughing a few times at the unfamiliar sensation. "So what's the problem then?"

Arlo exhales shakily, emotion stinging her eyes as her throat feels tight. "I can't be with him anymore. I'm only going to hurt him in the end. I'm not capable of caring for him the way he cares for me, no matter how badly I think I want to." She leaves out the part about management having it out for them because well, that would simply overcomplicate an already complicated situation. "He's so sure and I'm so... not."

"So you think he loves you and he's gonna say it and you want to be long gone before he has a chance to?" Molly says, skeptically. "Am I hearing this right? Just fuckin' break up with him."

A cool gust of wind blows in between the tall apartment buildings on the street, causing a shiver to go down Arlo's spine. "I can't." She stresses, her voice cracking. "He wouldn't just accept that. I need a reason and I can't give him one."

Arlo almost laughs at the thought of it. If she simply tried to call things off with Luke he'd probably laugh and ask her if she wanted to go get a new book. Arlo wouldn't even be able to act like she didn't want to be with him and Luke would see right through it. He knew her too well.

Molly purses her lips, shrugging her shoulders simply. "So make him hate you."