Chapter 22

Dessa had used magic to go from one place to another before. Not her own magic, of course, but rather her parents'. Though Lyv and Jai had no dark magic within them anymore, they were still sensitive to the shadows, just like they always had been, and could use them to go from one part of their land to another.

This...this was different, though. It wasn't like stepping into those welcoming shadows, feeling their caress around her and how they gently held her. Instead, it was like she was being ripped in two, thrown this way and that as the air was pulled straight from her lungs. She couldn't even scream. All she could see was darkness, then pinpoints of light as she was flung through space with no destination predetermined.

Not when this was the first portal Dessa had created herself.

So, she squeezed her eyes closed, willing everything to stop spinning as the wind howled in her ears, and yet one face came to mind.

Elys.

He knew. He knew and he didn't tell her a thing. Not what to expect, not what was going to happen. He only thought of telling her what would happen after, how he and Cleo and her mother would help her with her magic.

If it didn't end up killing her first.

Dessa landed with such force it knocked the remaining air from her lungs. Dropped from a dozen feet in the air right down onto a flat, stone surface.

It wasn't just the sound of the air leaving her, but also the cracking of bones, the sharp pain in the back of her head as it smacked against the ground. Stars burst in front of her eyes, blocking out the blue sky above her, the bright yellow sun, the puff white clouds that dotted across it. Everything, everything hurt and yet she still couldn't move.

A feeling so unfamiliar spread through her. Magic. Healing magic that swept through her every limb, healing every facture, making every scrap and bruise disappear in a matter of seconds.

Her own magic.

And then, just as she was able to finally suck in a breath, two familiar faces appeared above her, though it took her a moment to recognize them as everything slowly stopped spinning.

Before Dessa bolted up onto her hands and knees as her breakfast from that morning made a reappearance.

A male voice shouted over the shocked murmurs of the others. "Someone get us some water! Now! Don't just stand around like a bunch of idiots!"

Gentle hands were rubbing circles on her back as she heaved even more as a soft, soothing voice sounded in her ear. "Dessa? Can you hear me?"

More voices. More shouts that ricocheted in her already pounding head.

"Isn't that...?"

"Where the hell did she come from?"

"Go get the queen. Now."

The other person who'd been beside her gently reached forward to take her face in his hands as she sat up on her knees, stomach still reeling. It took her a moment to focus on him, but then Balian appeared.

"Dessa?" he pleaded, blue eyes sweeping over her every feature. "What the hell happened? How did you...?"

The sweat that dampened his golden hair and beaded along his temples from the morning training session rolled down the side of his face, but his hands were cool against her flushed cheeks. It was one single drop Dessa was focusing on then as her magic continued to rage inside her, finally free of its constraints.

Imrie shifted beside him, coming back into view even as she continued smoothing circles along her back. Though they had different fathers, they still looked so much alike, having inherited the same shade of hair color from their mother, Evelien. "One minute we were training and the next you were...falling from the sky. Are you...?"

Still shaking, Dessa somehow managed to smile at their unfinished questions. "I'm...fine. I think."

Both brother and sister were looking at her then. Really looking. Undoubtedly, they'd heard the breaking of bones when she landed, the smack of her head against the stone. She could still feel the healing magic sweeping through her, fixing the rest of what was broken and bleeding. The warmth, the spark...it reminded her so much of her mother's magic it had tears springing to Dessa's eyes. Still, she tried to grab hold of her chaotic magic and hold it tight, only to have it slip through her fingers.

She closed them, wanting herself to focus and yet not being able to.

Reopened them slowly.

Only to have the two of them shrink back slightly at the sight.

"Balian," Imrie whispered, putting a hand on his arm. "Her eyes..."

"Dessa," Balian repeated, brushing his thumbs along her cheeks, wiping away her tears. "You...you're..."

More shouting sounded from the archway leading back inside and the guardsmen who surrounded them moved aside to let the Queen of Escarral step through.

Even for being in her fifties, Dessa's aunt Ada was one of the most beautiful human females she'd ever seen. Her hair was sprinkled through with gray and a few wrinkles creased on the corners of her eyes and mouth, but she was still Aunt Ada. The queen who helped regain her and her people's home back during the Dark Wars, the queen who was crowned without a throne on a ship in the middle of the sea.

"Dessa?" Ada called out, rushing forward to where the three of them knelt. She was in one of her loose-fitting dresses she wore for everyday wear and yet still was breath-taking. "Balian, Imrie, what happened? Why is she...?"

But Dessa couldn't hear her anymore. She was still on her knees, still frozen as she tried to reign in her magic with no success, eyes still onyx as Ada appeared in front of her, pushing Balian out of the way.

"Dessa?" Ada repeated, though her voice was low, controlled. It didn't give any indication of her fear she must have been feeling, though her hazel eyes gave it away with just one flash. Not a fear of Dessa, but rather fear for her. "Can you hear me? What's happened? You...you have..."

"Magic," she finally managed to choke out. "My magic."

Her hands replaced Balian's on her face, still cool to the touch. Ada winced when she did. So maybe it wasn't their hands that were cool, but rather Dessa's skin that was scorching. "What happened?"

Swallowing hard, Dessa closed her eyes, somehow finding something of her magic to hold onto, to yank it back in control just slightly. The onyx color of her eyes wasn't going away, though. She didn't have to see her reflection to know. "We were training at home. Elys...we were sparring with each other...and I just...I lost it."

Ada nodded, brushing back the fallen strands of hair from her face. "We were all wondering when you'd finally get your magic. Took it long enough, right?"

And with that, Dessa broke down into another flood of tears. "I just want my momma."

Through no magic of her own, her request was answered as familiar shadows appeared just a short distance away, making the guardsmen jump back. It wasn't in fright, though, not when they were so used to seeing one of Queen Cleo of Arloerin's favorite ways to travel. It wasn't Cleo who stepped out of those shadows, but rather Dessa's mother herself.

Lyv was pushing everyone away then, brushing Balian and Imrie to the side, even wedging herself between her eldest sister and Dessa. Just as they did, she reached for her hands to hold tight in hers, not even faltering when she saw Dessa's eyes, though a pained sound escaped her lips.

"I'm here, my sweet girl," she told her. "I'm here."

Dessa whimpered and held onto her tight as shadowflames sparked along her fingertips. "Momma, I don't know how..."

Lyv moved her hands to Dessa's face, pulling her closer to press her forehead against hers. "I know you don't, which is why we're going to practice and learn your magic right along with you. Just like Elys said."

"I can't."

"You can and you will," she told her fiercely, not even allowing her to think that thought for another second. "But right now, you're going to have to concentrate and try to get a better hold on it, all right? I'm going to help you every step of the way, starting with this right now."

Dessa nodded, focusing on her mother's emerald eyes locked on hers. She wasn't even paying attention to everyone around them, slowly backing away to give them more space.

Focusing with everything she had, she tried to grab hold of her magic, but it danced away from her and exploded into a flurry of sparks that raced through her. Those sparks became real, live flames. Onyx flames that curled itself around her wrists and fingers, reaching out to brush against her mother's skin and yet didn't burn.

Dessa sputtered. "What...?"

"It must remember me," Lyv whispered, watching as her flames continued brushing against her. "The dark magic, I mean. Mine never came out like this, though. This is uniquely yours."

There was no time to ask what she was talking about, not when Dessa finally managed to grab hold of her magic and grip it tight.

She nodded in encouragement, smile bright. "That's my girl. The first step. You remember what happened when Len finally got her magic last year? What I told her she had to do?"

"Let it know it won't be locked up and yet also show it who would be the one in control?"

Lyv let out a laugh, nodding again. "Or in Len's words, show it who's boss."

Finally, Dessa managed to laugh, too. Her shadowflames flickered and jumped in response at the love that overflowed inside her at the thought of her baby sister.

But it was with that laughter she was finally able to feel not only her dark magic, but her light magic as well. It was full of warmth and happiness and love. It reminded her of not only her mother's magic, but her father's as well. Just like she had always been told by the two of them, she was the perfect combination of them and would be in this way, too.

Sucking in a deep breath through her nose, Dessa held it in, closing her eyes once more as she figured out a way to coax her magic into submission. The initial flood from the internal wall that crumbled was barely a trickle now that there was no boundary to hold it back.

And as it eased through her, she was finally able to really get a feel for it. Just like she was of her parents, a perfect combination of light and dark. In her light magic, there was love, healing, and warmth. In the dark, peace, comfort, and a fierce protectiveness. And both...both were hers and hers alone.

The moment that thought passed in her head, Dessa somehow gained full control as it eased into a comfortable place inside her.

And she was finally able to breathe.

Her mother knew she did it before Dessa even opened her eyes.

"That was perfect," Lyv smiled, finally letting her tears fall as she leaned back just slightly to get a better look at her. "Absolutely perfect, Des. You have no idea how proud of you I am."

"I still don't understand what happened," she whispered.

"We don't really know either, sweetie, just that Elys knew it would today. He...he told us yesterday afternoon. Not much detail, only that your magic would finally break free. Maybe it really did happen because not only was he home, but Cleo's here, too. And her magic and yours..." Lyv didn't finish, shaking her head before pulling Dessa in for a hug, holding her tight as she kissed her hair. "I'll tell you everything, Dessa. I promise, I'll tell you everything."