Chapter 30

With Dessa hardly saying a word all day, she was surprised her mother hadn't made them stop before they reached the eastern shoreline of Escarral, knowing they wouldn't have anywhere to land before they got to Dalcaine. She hadn't pushed her, hadn't slipped in a probing question as they at breakfast and packed up. What Lyv did do was watch her carefully. Even as she was saying goodbye to everyone in Escarral, even as the hours passed as they flew east, but especially when they finally got home and Dessa turned to glare at Elys.

He was the reason for her bad mood. Just as he always was.

She couldn't fall asleep that night, not even with her mother's soft, comforting breathing beside her, her hand wrapped tight around hers even in her sleep. She'd been going over everything they talked about. How when she was conceived, Lyv had dark magic within her, which then went to Dessa along with her light magic. How her mother would never stop blaming herself for it either. No one, of course, would have known her magic would be dormant until now because of it either.

No one except Elys.

Elys, who knew everything – everything – and still never spoke a word of it to her.

Elys, who she still considered to be her best friend, even after five years of silence.

Elys...who she was pissed at for not even telling her what was going to happen the morning before at training just so she could be prepared.

And she wanted to murder him for it.

Granted, her bitter mood wasn't just Elys's fault. Because when she woke up that morning, she'd had to swallow her scream.

She had the same nightmare again. The one with her, Cleo, and another female fighting an unknown force with Elys's help. This time, though, she wasn't watching the scene play out from her own point of view, but rather as an observer. And just as a wave of darkness so powerful, so ominous washed over them all, Dessa watched as her eyes turned onyx and her shadowflame flicker with silver before it exploded around them all.

Her dreams hadn't started out as nightmares, though. Far from it, actually. Her dream had been pleasant. No, more than pleasant, actually. Pleasurable. And it might have involved Elys in a way she hadn't even let herself daydream about. It was all skin against skin, kisses and touches and sensations that had her entire body tightening, bodies glistening with sweat in the firelight. If that dream hadn't turned into her lifelong nightmare, she wouldn't have been able to meet her mother's eyes in the morning.

And she definitely didn't know how she was able to meet Elys's whenever they made it home.

Her sapphire eyes narrowed as soon as she saw him standing a short distance away. Two kinds of heat flashed through her, both on her face in the form of a blush and her hands as they fisted at her sides. Her shadowflame sparked to life, curling around her wrists, tickling her skin and almost laughing at her reaction to him, even trying to pull her closer.

Elys wasn't looking at those flames, though, only her face. Just a few moments passed, but it was enough time for her thoughts to turn back to her dream. Her highly inappropriate dream of the two of them.

"I think I'm going to head up to my room," Dessa said then, flames flickering out though anger still laced through her tone. Good. She'd rather show her anger toward than her growing need. That wouldn't go well with her father. "It's been a long day of flying, so I just want to wash up and rest."

Her mother looked between them, almost as if she were trying to tell what they were thinking. "We'll see you at dinner, all right?"

Dessa nodded once, smiling slightly, before she glared at Elys again as she strode toward him. He still hadn't said a word, still didn't take his eyes from her. With her parents and Cleo watching, she walked toward Elys, who followed her every move. She brushed past him, ignoring the jolt that shot through her, her shoulder hitting him and knocking him back a step.

She only paused when he said her name, when he tried to reach out for her hand. "Dessa, wait..."

She didn't turn, didn't meet his eyes as she pulled her hand away and held it up to shut him down before he even finished. She couldn't speak to him, not knowing how the words would come out, just continued inside before slamming the front door shut behind her.

Dessa was running then, knowing Elys would be close behind her if she didn't. Up the stairs, down multiple hallways, trying not to run into anyone. She was out of breath by the time she got to her room, slamming and locking the door behind her once she was inside, and had to lean back against the wall just to concentrate.

What broke that concentration was the one thing in her room that hadn't been there the morning before. An envelope with her name written on the outside sat on her desk, placed there by one of the palace staff after having it be delivered. She recognized the handwriting and guilt gnawed at her as soon as she did.

She'd missed her goodbye dinner with Fin.

Dessa,

I would have almost been mad at you for skipping out on our dinner plans, but how could I once I knew what happened? I hope you're all right and know you have much more important things to deal with rather than worry about hurting a lowly human's feelings. You didn't, though, so don't worry since I know you're going to feel guilty.

You've made my time here in Ayveri very special and am so glad I decided to go against everything telling me not to talk to the legendary Princess Dessa Jai Deverell Ayveri that first day of our Recent Events class. Even when your father and uncles continuously glared at me whenever I was within range.

No matter how long it is until we see each other again, or even if we never do, I'm so lucky to have found a friend like you. Don't get yourself into too much trouble, though I know with Milena you're undoubtedly going to. Especially now that you have your magic.

I can't wait to see what you'll do with it, in this world and all the others.

Your friend,

Fin

Of course, she was going to feel guilty. How could she not? She'd missed getting to say goodbye to him, but through no fault of her own.

Just another thing to be mad at Elys about.

Speaking of which...

Not ten seconds later, a fist pounded against the wood before the doorhandle wiggled. "Des, open up."

She didn't say a word, just leaned her head back as she looked up at the ceiling.

Elys wasn't going to be fooled by her silence. "I know you're in there. I saw you go in."

"Then why can't you realize I don't want to talk to you? There's a reason the door's locked, Seer, and that's to keep you out."

"Des..."

"You lied to me," she choked out, turning to press her forehead against the door. "You lied to me and didn't tell me what was going to happen."

His voice was so close, probably doing the same as she was, leaning against the door, hand pressed against it. "It wasn't lying. I just...didn't tell you the truth."

"Are you serious, Elys?"

"I couldn't tell you. I'm sorry."

"But you obviously told my parents and Cleo. Why not me when I was the one it was going to happen to?"

"I...I don't..."

Dessa choked out a laugh, shaking her head. "That's the problem. You're keeping things from me, thinking it'll keep me safe. It's not going to, Elys. I'm not the little girl you still think me to be. The little girl who you protected at all costs because she was learning how to defend herself. I had five years without you to learn I didn't need you to be there to hold my hand."

Silence. A soft thud on the other side of the door against the wall as if he slumped against it.

Dessa's heart twisted in her chest as she unlocked the door, slowly pulling it open to find him in the position she knew he would be in, head leaned back as he stared at the ceiling. When he realized she'd opened the door, his eyes met hers as he bolted up and turned to her.

"Protecting you," he repeated. "When you were just a few days old, I promised Jai I would always protect you, no matter what, and I will always keep that promise."

She swallowed hard, not moving, her hand on the doorknob, just two feet separating them from each other. "But even though I know I don't need you to protect me anymore...I still want you."

Want you. There were two ways he could interpret that...and she meant it both ways. Luckily, he only acted on the first.

"You don't want me to leave?"

Shaking her head, she leaned heavily on the door to try to stop herself from jumping into his arms. "I want you, need you here, but you have to trust me enough to tell me when you see something. Promise?"

His voice was barely a whisper as he nodded and said, "Promise."

She whimpered as that feeling in her chest that twisted her heart rose to her throat. "I need you here with me, Elys. Because I'm more scared than I've ever been before and I really, really need my best friend to help me."

Gods above, she almost smacked him with his answer then, even if he was trying to get her to laugh. "Really? Because I can go find Milena..."

He succeeded, of course. "Stop being an idiot," she laughed, holding the door open just a little bit wider. "I meant you."

Elys's half smile almost made her come undone. "Oh, I know," he told her, then held out his hands to her. "Can I hold you now?"

Dessa nodded, pushing the door wider just as he strode inside, leaned down, and picked her up in his arms. Her arms locked around his shoulders as she jumped up and wrapped her legs around his waist, holding him as tight as she could. Elys continued into her room, kicking the door closed with his boot, but made no move to let her go as one hand smoothed up her back, tangling in her unbound hair. Then he was just holding her right there in the middle of her room, his face buried in the crook of her neck, his breath steady against her skin as he breathed her in.

"Gods above, you scared the shit out of me," he mumbled against her neck. "Don't ever do that again, all right?"

Her hand went to the back of his head, fingers threading into the short hairs. "I'll try not to. Because I scared myself, too. And everyone else, it seems."

Undoubtedly, he would have been able to feel her pulse beating rapidly against him, but he didn't say anything. How could it not when they'd never held each other like this, wrapped so fully around each other? Not only that, but Dessa realized the jolts she'd always felt around him since being home was something more. Her magic flared to life inside her, dancing and jumping around at Elys's closeness and still tried to get him closer than he already was.

Elys's hand that had been tangled in her hair smoothed back down her back and she tried to keep herself from shivering, especially when it continued across her hip, down her leg, and behind her knee. He leaned back to look at her then, a bright smile stretched across his mouth.

Dessa took his face in her hands, leaning her forehead against his. "You were really worried about me, huh? Momma said you were freaking out and Daddy had to yank you out of it."

His arm tightened around her waist as he nodded against her. "It was even worse than seeing it play out in bits and pieces in my visions. Maybe because it was really happening, and I couldn't...I couldn't do anything to help you then."

"But I'm all right now."

"You're all right. And you're here."

"And so is my magic. Finally, right?"

Elys hummed low in his throat, closing his eyes as he breathed in deep before he loosened his hold on her. Dessa all but slid down the length of his body until her feet touched the carpeted floor. He still kept her close, though, fingers twining with his, keeping her right up against him.

"Your magic," he repeated, feeling it spark against his palms yet not burning him. "Trust me when I say it was really something to see."

"It had to come out with a bang, that's for sure."

"You can say that again."

Dessa held up a hand just as her shadowflame sparked to life, weaving around her wrist, through her fingers. The silver sparks in it made Elys's eyes glow as he watched it in awe.

"Beautiful," he breathed out, meeting her eyes again. "Absolutely beautiful, Des."

A blush crawled up her neck at his words, heating her cheeks. "I have a feeling my fire magic is going to be the easiest to get a hang of. Momma and I were playing around with it last night. She compared it to being almost like Cleo's shadows. Sentient, protective of me, willing to burn anyone I want it to."

"I hope that's not me?"

She laughed as those shadowflames slowly crept along her fingers, still twined with his. But the flames didn't burn him, even if it made him jump as if they had. "Only if you're annoying me."

"Never."

"Always."

Elys reached out to pinch her side, but she danced out of his reach. Walking over to her bed, she sat on the edge, leaning down to undo the laces and buckles of her boots. She did this while watching him standing in the middle of her room. He was looking around, walking over to the bookshelf by her balcony doors, grinning when he spotted the black and red stuffed dragon he'd given her when she was little. Dessa tried not to roll her eyes as he pulled it into his arms, holding it close as if it were a real baby dragon.

"I love how you still have this thing," he told her as he sat down on the other side of the bed, kicking off his own boots, and leaned back against the pillows. He held the dragon above him, seeing its still pristine condition thanks to the spell her mother put on it for her to keep it safe.

"Of course, I still have it."

"A gift that keeps being regifted. It was Lyv's when she was a baby, then she gave it to me, and I gave it to you. Who's will it be next?"

"No one's right now," she told him, leaning across the bed to pluck it from his hold.

Then, just to see if she could do it, she used magic to gently lift it into the air, flying it back toward its place on the bookshelf. Sure, it was just a simple thing to do, but the smile that stretched across her face displayed her excitement.

Elys, though, was staring at her wide-eyed, jaw slack.

"Gods, I'm never going to get used to this."

"What? Me having magic? The shadowflame didn't even surprise you when I showed it to you a minute ago."

"No, because I've seen more of those than anything else. Well, that and your portals."

Dessa turned toward him, crossing her legs under her on the bed. Having probably known what she was going to bring up then, Elys leaned up on one elbow, gaze intent on her face.

"What happened," he asked her then, "when you went through the portal?"

She snorted, rolling her eyes. "You really have to ask, Seer?"

Elys nodded, reaching over to grab hold of her hand. He held on tight, almost as if he were worried she'd disappear right before his eyes. She could if she wanted...once she got a better hold of her portals. She'd only created one and that was by pure mistake.

"Des, really. Sometimes visions don't do it justice. And with you, with the first portal you made, I wasn't able to see where you ended up until you were there."

"And that was right in the middle of the training courtyard in Escarral. Balian and Imrie were there. And my aunt Ada once the guardsmen went to get her. I was...struggling. My magic was going all over the place and I couldn't get a handle on it. My eyes..."

"They were onyx," Elys cut in. "I never expected that."

"Exactly. I wasn't...I didn't know what was happening when I first say them reflected in my sword. And when I got to Escarral, they kept changing back and forth with my magic. I think I scared Balian and Imrie the most. Then Ada was there and finally..."

"Lyv."

Dessa nodded, glancing down at their intertwined fingers. "She helped me gain control of it. My magic, I mean. I remember her always telling me about how Daddy did the same for her when the dark magic was in her, when it tried to take her over. But my magic, being both light and dark, it's different than hers. I can't think of it as two different magics like it was for Momma and Daddy. With me, it's just...my magic. And I know I have nothing to be afraid of when it comes to it."

Elys squeezed her hand and didn't say anything.

"When Momma and I were talking last night, she brushed on a topic about my magic...and yours. She wouldn't tell me much, though, just that you would have to since you...know a little bit more than she led on."

Elys was frozen, trying to find his words. "And what exactly did she say?"

"Just that our magic is...connected somehow. That for something like this to happen to a Seer of Ikreus was extremely rare."

Silence.

"Is that what this is between us then?" she asked in a whisper. "Because ever since you got back, I've been more drawn to you now than ever before. Was it just my magic finally coming to the surface because it could sense yours and what we'd be able to do together?"

Elys hummed. "Sort of," he answered, but something else edged in his tone. He redirected the topic back to her portal magic. "Like I said, I'll help you with your portals. That's where our combined magic will be most useful, actually. You have to master the basics first, though, and that'll take time."

"Time," Dessa repeated with a smile. "What a coincidence, since time is what you're best at."

"Ha-ha, a Seer of Ikreus joke. Good for you."

"Come on, you walked right into that one."

"I hate you."

"No, you don't, Seer."

"Of course not, Dessa Jai."

Finally, she let out a laugh as he grinned, pulling their conjoined hands to his lips so he could kiss her knuckles.

"Tomorrow," Elys told her then. "If you want, we can start training tomorrow. Your parents will help, and Cleo will, too, of course. Maybe even..."

"Your other best friend, too? Thanks for including me, Seer."

Dessa and Elys both turned to look toward the doorway where Milena was standing, a bright smile stretched across her face, arms crossed, and Eamon and Archer standing on either side of her.

"Don't you three ever knock?" Dessa sighed.

Milena raised a brow. "And what would you two be doing in here that would warrant us knocking, huh?"

"Nothing! Now, would you get out? I'll come find you later."

"Oh, no, you don't! Elys's had his time with you, now it's my turn..."

But Eamon managed to steer her back out into the hallway before she tried to duck under his arm to get back in. He instantly leaned down to haul her over his shoulder as she flung curses at him through her laughter. Archer wasn't much better, following behind the two of them and closed the door behind them, but managed to sneak a wink at them.

Dessa's face flamed as she covered it with one hand. "Gods, they're so embarrassing."