Chapter 56

"It's all right," Elys murmured to her as they quickly walked back through Palrion. "You're all right. Just keep your head down and stay by my side."

Dessa had no problem doing that. She was tucked into his side, his arm secured around her shoulders, and kept her cheek pressed against his chest. Her eyes were still closed as she concentrated on keeping her magic from spilling over and out of her, though her shadowflames were still dancing around her wrists. They seemed to be protecting her from herself, helping to smother the quell of magic inside.

Gods, it was just like when it first appeared. This time, she didn't have her mother there to help her calm down and make it surrender to her.

Elys was saying something to her again, trying to soothe her, but all she could hear was the pounding of her heart in her ears...and a quiet whisper of a low chuckle echoing inside her head. The sound had her bolting from Elys's side, pushing past the crowd of people in the street, and into a darkened alleyway. She immediately doubled over, vomiting up what little she'd eaten earlier that afternoon until there was nothing left.

Clutching at her stomach, Dessa groaned and leaned one shoulder against the wall, pressing her heated cheek to the cool stone. She didn't realize Elys had been there through it all, not until he let go of her hair, smoothing his hand down her back before rubbing in circles. Her shadowflame wrapped around him, holding him closer.

"I can't get a hold of it," she whispered to him, tears springing up in her eyes. Eyes she knew were still the color of darkness before she even saw them reflected in his. "I can't do it, Elys."

"Yes, you can," he encouraged. "It's your magic, Des. You're the one in control."

"Not right now, I'm not."

Whenever she grabbed for it, it merely slipped through her fingers, that chuckle echoing through her head with every attempt.

She had to concentrate if she wanted to be in control again, focusing on her own strength and the strength Elys was giving her by just being at her side.

Breathing in deep, she tried again, finally grabbing hold of it just as she had the first time it appeared.

"That's it," Elys whispered in her ear, his hand gripping the fabric of her dress at the small of her back. "What does Len say again?"

Dessa let out a choked laugh, almost seeing her baby sister standing in front of her, fierce determination in her emerald eyes, and a bright smile lighting up her face. "Show it who's boss."

The dark magic was immediately joined with her light as she laughed and heard Elys doing the same. Finally, a warmth spread through her, chasing away the chill that held her in a vice. She held it tight, breathing deep as she coaxed it into submission, easing the flood of light and dark magic that threatened to erupt.

Elys knew exactly when she calmed down, leaning her back to the wall, his body a shield between her and the curious gazes behind them. He brushed her hair back from her face, one easing down the side of her neck and stayed as he fumbled for her bag and the skin of water he knew she kept inside. Good thing, too, since she desperately needed to rinse her mouth out.

After gargling the water and spitting it out, Dessa gulped down the cool liquid, still keeping her eyes closed. "Thank you," she whispered. "For helping me."

Elys still kept his hands on her, running his fingers through her hair, wiping away the sweat that beaded along her temples, brushing the drops of water that escaped the corners of her mouth. "Of course. You never have to ask."

She shivered as she leaned into his warmth, her forehead against his chest. "I don't know what happened. It's like touching the grimoire...woke something inside. My magic, the dark parts of it, seemed to recognize it. Is that what's going to happen anytime I touch it? Because if so, we're taking it back. We can learn what it says a different way."

"Dessa..."

Her fear was clawing at her throat as she clutched the back of his shirt. "I can't do this, Elys. I can't. What if the same thing happens to me as it did Momma? I'm not strong like she is and I'm definitely not as strong as Cleo. I've only had my magic for month and didn't grow up learning how to control it. Now...now, with the slightest touch, I fall into this. Into something I don't know if I'm going to be able to control if something were to happen."

Elys held her tight, his lips pressed against the top of her head. "You will, Dessa. I promise you will. And how dare you say you're not strong enough. You're one of the strongest people I know."

"How do you know, huh?"

"Seer, remember?"

"Bastard is more like it," she mumbled against his chest

He let out a laugh and held her even tighter.

When Dessa leaned back, tilting her head up to his, she still kept her eyes closed, her tears escaping at the corners. Elys's hands continued to smooth up her back, her neck, before finally taking her face between them. His breath brushed against her skin before he kissed those tears away.

And when Dessa finally looked up at him, their faces just inches apart, Elys's eyes went wide.

"Des, your eyes..."

He didn't have to say anything else to tell her they were still onyx.

She choked as more tears clogged her throat and her magic began its dance of chaos within her again. "It's not going to go away, is it?"

"You need to stay calm, princess," Elys tried to tell her. "Just breathe and you'll be..."

"I'm not going to be fine, am I? I'm never going to gain full control and use of it. What happened to Momma...what happened to Aunt Corliss...it's going to happen to me, isn't it?"

"No, it's not," he growled at her, a fierce edge in his tone. "We won't lose you to the darkness, Dessa Jai. I won't lose you, do you hear me? You and I have too much life to live ahead of us, a life I've only ever wanted with you."

All she could do was nod as she stared up at him, his words echoing in her head.

"Get us back to the inn," he demanded then.

"I can't," she choked out.

"Yes, you can. Don't you dare tell me otherwise."

"You really are being a bastard."

"Well, if it's going to help you right now, sure. Do it. Make a portal."

Dessa swallowed hard, not moving.

"Now, Dessa, or else I'll..."

But it wasn't a portal she was going to make. Instead, space twisted around them in a way Elys had yet to experience and Dessa only a handful of times. Before they knew it, it wasn't the alleyway around them, but rather her bedroom at the inn.

Elys didn't even look around to see where she'd taken them to, didn't even flinch as he stared into her onyx eyes. "Now, I'm going to need you to regain control of your magic again, all right? Grab it tight, fight it into submission, because there's no way in hell I'm going to allow it to win even this little victory."

"Elys..."

"Do it, Dessa. Now."

So, she did.

It was easier this time, gripping her chaotic magic, both light and dark, and pulling it back for her to control. Her mother had always told her how her father helped her control her darkness with his magic, but it wasn't the same with Dessa and Elys. Her magic was different than Lyv's had been, completely hers and not something that was shoved inside to overtake her. And Elys...he didn't have the sort of magic Jai did. He still helped her in a way only he could, though, which was holding her tight against him, forehead against hers, and drawing her closer by the thin, glimmering threads of an uncompleted bond between them.

Closing her eyes, Dessa breathed in deep, head fogging from his sandalwood and citrus scent, tongue licking her bottom lip and still tasting him there from the night before. Elys's hands smoothed down her back, making her magic almost purr when he did. She knew she was still supposed to be upset with him, but she couldn't be in that moment.

After several moments of standing there as Dessa's magic eased back into a calm ebb and flow within her, she finally relaxed against him, leaning back just enough to see his face.

Relief was clear in his eyes as he looked at her, hands cradling her cheeks gently. "There are those sapphire eyes I love so much," he whispered to her, brushing his thumb along her cheek, still damp with tears. "You all right?"

She nodded and covered his hands with her own. "I think so. Thank you for helping me."

He shook his head. "That was all you, Dessa Jai, and don't even try to deny it. You're so much stronger than you give yourself credit for."

"Maybe," she whispered, voice cracking as she leaned her forehead against his. "It still scares me, though, and I hate admitting that. Especially now that we have the grimoire."

"You know you don't have to look at it right now. Do it when you're ready."

"And will I ever be?"

"I know you will." Elys's fingers gently smoothed along her cheeks again, brushing away fresh tears that spilled over. "Come on. Let's get you cleaned up. Brush your teeth, take a hot bath, and I'll go down to grab some dinner. Just focus on yourself for right now and don't worry about everyone else, all right?"

Dessa nodded against him. "Will you stay with me tonight? I...I don't want to be alone. Not after that."

He kissed her forehead. "Of course, I will, princess. You don't even have to ask."

Still rattled, she tried to keep her hands from shaking as Elys stepped back from her and guided her into the bathing room. He left her for only a moment to grab her toiletry bag.

As she pulled her toothbrush, she was watching him in the mirror as he leaned over the copper tub and started filling it with steaming water, pouring soothing oils into it, which bubbled as the water rose. The scent of lavender filled the room as she began brushing her teeth, turning to lean back against the marble counter.

He was taking care of her just as he always did.

Elys straightened up as soon as she was finished rinsing her mouth, watching as she pulled her hair up into a knot at the top of her head. "So, everyone knows we're back. Let me go tell them what happened. You just relax and I'll be back up in an hour or so with dinner. You want anything in particular?"

Dessa shook her head. "No. Something light, though, especially since I'm not that hungry right now."

"Well, you're going to eat. You need food on your stomach."

"Overprotective just as always."

"And I always will be. You know that. Just wait, though. It'll get even worse after..."

After that bond between them was complete. He didn't even have to finish that sentence to know what he was going to say.

Dessa gave him a small smile, one he returned a second later before nodding and leaving her to herself.

The bath was just what she needed, slipping through the bubbles and into the warm water that instantly eased every knot, every bit of tension from her body. She closed her eyes, concentrating on breathing in and out, making sure her magic was back to its normal self. There was no way she was going to look at the grimoire anytime soon, not after what happened. She needed to get more guidance from Cleo before she even thought of laying a finger on the ancient text.

In the quiet of her bathing room, she as able to hear the others below. They were still down on the back patio, now speaking in low voices with Elys. They were far enough away that she couldn't hear exactly what they were saying, but Elys, of course, was reassuring them that she was all right, just resting.

He came back after an hour, just as he promised her. He was moving around the sitting room of her suite, placing the tray of food on the low-lying table in front of the sofa, pulling out blankets from the linen closet and moving pillows from the other bedroom. Dessa smiled to herself, dipping lower into the still warm water, curtesy of her magic, until it covered her mouth and barely touched her nose.

Elys knocked on the door before peeking his head in. "You still all right?"

She nodded, tipping her chin out of the water. "The advantages of fire magic. Your baths never go cold."

"You can use that fire to stifle heat from a fire but keep the light, can't you?"

"Yep."

He motioned his head back to the sitting room behind him. "Then you mind doing that for the one in the hearth?"

She didn't even have to lift her finger from the water to do it.

Elys grinned after he looked back at the heatless, flickering flames. "You're getting pretty good at that, Dessa Jai."

"Did you bring dinner?"

"And dessert. You inherited Lyv's love of chocolate, so there's no way I was going to chance it and not bring any."

"I've taught you well."

"I know you well is more like it."

Dessa shifted in the tub, turning to brace her forearms along the edge and resting her chin against them. Elys's eyes were on the glistening water along the bare skin of her shoulders, dampening the few strands of hair that had fallen out of the knot on top of her head. Even though the water was still steaming thanks to her magic, a shiver rushed down her spine, one he caught sight of.

"You can come in, you know," Dessa told him.

"I know."

"Then why aren't you moving?"

"Because I just want to look at you like this."

One dark eyebrow quirked up. "Like what, Seer?"

The corner of Elys' mouth tilted upward. "Calm, finally at ease...and breathtakingly beautiful," he told her, taking those few steps between the doorway and the tub, then knelt down so his face was just inches away from hers. "And yet you still manage to scare the shit out of me."

Dessa's smile wavered as she laid her cheek against her arm, gazing up at him through her lashes. "I don't think that will ever stop happening."

"Trust me, it won't."

She snorted, leaning back into the water again.

Elys's eyes were on her face, not daring to look anywhere below the surface even though he'd just seen all of her the night before. Touched and tasted her, too. That thought had her shifting again, trying to get her body to stop reacting the way it was. Heat flared through her again, her face flushing scarlet, and Elys reached forward to brush his fingers along her cheek.

"Take a little more time for yourself, all right?" he told her then, standing up straight. "I need to go take care of a few things, but I'll be back."

Dessa sighed, looking at the end of the tub, toes peeking out from below the water's surface and through what little bubbles were left. "You said you'd stay with me."

"I will. I need to get cleaned up and changed. Won't be too long."

"And you promise to come back?" Unlike last night?

Of course, he heard her. There was no hiding her thoughts from him now. "I will, Dessa Jai. Promise."

With no reply from her, Elys made his way back to the bathing room door. He hesitated long enough for her to notice until he walked back over, leaned down, and kissed her forehead before disappearing.

Dessa didn't stay in the bath for much longer, standing up before reaching over for one of the fluffy towels on the counter to wrap herself in. Walking back into her room, she dug around in her bag to find underwear and her favorite silk robe to slip on, belting it around her waist before making her way into the sitting room.

She paused at what he'd done while she was in the bathing room. Blankets and pillows were laid out in front of the heart, the table pushed close to the sofa to allow for more room. He'd brought up a dinner of roasted chicken, vegetables, and hearty bread with a huge slice of chocolate cake she had no intentions of sharing. A picnic of sorts, one she was smiling at as she padded over, sitting down on the mound of pillows, and immediately reached for one set of utensils.

Elys caught her a few minutes later when he came back in, her forkful of chicken halfway to her mouth before she froze. Not because he had, but rather because he was only in his pajama pants and his hair was still damp from the shower he took, slicked back into place with one strand falling gracefully across his forehead. With his chest bare, she took in his tattoos and scars, already wanting to trace her fingers across them.

Dessa gulped, then shoved the chicken in her mouth. "That was quick," she mumbled around it.

He grinned as he walked over, taking a seat beside her. "You would have eaten all the cake if I didn't."

"Don't think I'm sharing with you."

"You will."

"Not."

"Mm-hm."

Unfortunately, she did end up sharing after they finished everything. By then, he had her laughing as he told her stories about his, Eamon, and Archer's misadventures over the last few years. She knew what he was doing, trying to take her mind off what happened earlier at the archive, off the grimoire she had in her room.

And it was working.

"You would think you'd know what would happen, Seer," Dessa grinned at him as she got another bite of cake. She was sitting cross-legged on the blankets while Elys was stretched out on his side, the cake between them and now almost gone.

"And you would think that between me and Archer one of us would have," he snorted.

"Guess that's what you get for getting shit-faced at a Arloerin tavern."

"Well, falling into the river certainly sobered us up."

"Gods, you three are idiots. Good thing Milena and I are here to keep you in line."

"You two are even worse!"

"And we cause chaos without having to get drunk. It's an artform we have down to perfection."

Elys threw his head back and laughed as she finished off the last of the cake, then moved to put the plate on the table. With one flicker of magic, Dessa made them disappear, sending them downstairs to the kitchen, already clean and back in place in the cabinets.

Sensing what she'd done, Elys raised a brow. "I've never seen you do that before."

"Saves time in cleaning up, plus no one else has to do it for us," she told him with a shrug.

"And your magic..."

Just hearing the worry in his tone, Dessa smiled and reached forward to grip his hand. He was still thinking of her with onyx eyes, even though they were back to their sapphire blue. "I'm all right, Elys. Promise. But like I said before, I don't want to even touch the grimoire until I see Cleo and train with her a bit more."

"You know what we're going to be walking into when we get there."

"I know, but I'll have you at my side so everything will be all right."

"You put a lot of faith in me."

"Of course, I do. You're my best friend and my..." She couldn't say the word, not when he hadn't said it either. "I know you won't let anything happen to me or anyone else. I trust you more than I trust myself right now."

"Well, you need to put a little bit of that faith in yourself."

"I am. Gradually."

Dessa stretched out on the blankets beside him and Elys's eyes dropped to her bare legs as she readjusted the bottom of her robe. Her eyes were on the ceiling for several seconds before she turned and met his gaze.