for Lilly, because she's hilarious asf and has the most beautiful profiles and stories ❤️. and she loves zayn a whole bunch, so that's a plus lol.

"What's that?"

Kendra reaches forward and squeezes the spot under my chin where a deep purple mark lives. I slap her hand away before yanking my turtle neck even higher to attempt to hide the hickey. "Nothing—" I attempt to insist.

Kendra exhales largely. "Is that a hickey?!" She shrieks, grabbing my neck and squinting her dark eyes. "That is a hickey! Leah!"

"Kendra!" I hiss, shoving her down the hall as passerby begin to curiously peek over their shoulders at the cause of such a commotion. "Can you be any louder?"

"Yes, actually." Kendra whips around once we've halted in a more secluded area of the high school. "Now please explain to me why there's a hickey on your neck and who the hell did it because damn Leah."

"It was," I pause, looking around to make sure that no one is eavesdropping. When the coast is clear, I continue in a whisper, "Brady."

Kendra's eyes nearly explode out of their sockets as her jaw drops to the floor. "What?" Kendra whisper-shouts.

I nod vigorously, trying not to laugh at how accurately she displays my emotions to the situation. I've always been fond of Brady but never really in a sexual or romantic way, mostly because those feelings were always reserved for Ford. I'd sometimes get the vibe that he liked me but because Brady was just so nice to everyone I always shrugged it off. Now that I know that he definitely likes me, I'm not too sure what to do, like as for our friendship. Obviously the kiss was a little to hot to be labeled as friendly, but because I've never actually liked Brady that way I'm not sure if a relationship is something I'm willing to try.

Then again, it's Brady, and anything involving Brady is bound to be sweet. The image of a perfect boyfriend comes to mind: roses, chocolates, constant kisses, sweet nothings. Some of those things Brady already does, like giving Kendra and I chocolates and roses on Valentine's Day just to show us that he cares because even he knows we're bound to be single for a while. Not to mention he's a great kisser, like, almost as great as Ford was when we were together. He's able to turn me on while still making my heart swoon, which is such a wonderful combination when you're thinking of a boyfriend.

Kendra slaps my arm suddenly, bringing me out of my train of thought and back into the tired hallway that we're currently confiding in. "How the hell did this happen?" Kendra questions me, nearly jumping up and down with excitement and curiosity.

"He came over the other day while I was song writing." I explain. "We were just talking and then he said that he likes someone and when I asked him who it was he ..." I point to the hickey then, and Kendra nearly screams with laughter.

Kendra claps her hands in mock applause. "Who knew Brady had kinks?"

"Kendra!" I laugh, slapping her arm then. "This is kind of serious though, like I'm not sure what to do about it."

"What do you mean?" Kendra grips onto her backpack, beginning to walk. I follow her, knowing that the warning bell will probably be ringing sometime soon. "Just ask him out."

"But I don't like him. At least I think I don't."

"Obviously if there's some doubt than you have some feelings for him, Leah." Kendra rolls her eyes. "God, you and these boys. If Landon's next I might just shoot myself in the vagina."

"I assure you thank Landon is all yours." I giggle while teasingly bumping Kendra's shoulder. "But yeah, I don't know, it's all too much right now."

"Okay 1) shut up and 2) you're being dramatic Leah right now and need to rewind a bit."

Now it's my turn to roll my eyes. "I'm not being dramatic." I defend. "I'm just ... conflicted."

"Aka, dramatic Leah. You're acting like the entire world is on your shoulders when really all you have to do is speak to the boy and work everything out. You've even got an extra day to think because he's not even here today, so."

Those words coming from anyone else would've angered me to an immense extent, but coming from Kendra really just hits me like a brick. Kendra's always been extremely real to me, which I greatly appreciate. The boys can do that too but they usually try to be delicate with me or beat around the bush to avoid me blowing up or something. But Kendra? She speaks the truth, even when she thinks it'll upset me, and I'm so used to it by now that it's more like a normal conversation than an intervention.

"Okay, okay." I laugh lightly. "I really appreciate it Kendra, but I think I'm a tinsy but right as well."

"Yeah, well." Kendra sighs, running a hand through her dark locks. "Just had to keep it real for a second."

"I know," I smile as the warning bell rings. I glance around, realizing that where we're standing is about a million yards away from my first period and not that far away from Kendra's. "Thanks by the way," I roll my eyes, realizing that she probably did this on purpose.

"You're welcome," Kendra beams, beginning to walk away from me. "Gotta blast!" She hollers, before blending in with the throngs of people on her way to class.

I smile to myself, beginning to power walk down the hall and towards my first period. While I know her advice is legit, I also know that my opinion has some logic to it. I've been in a relationship before, one that I thought was golden, and it didn't work out for me in the slightest. I didn't tell Kendra this because I knew she wouldn't understand, but I'm honestly just scared. I'm scared that Brady will hurt me like Ford did, or that we'll end just as badly, or that Brady will isolate himself and just completely obliterate any self confidence that I have for myself. I'm slowly getting over Ford but there's still that little space in my heart that refuses to ever forget about him or the love we shared.

But somehow, that space has the most control over me.

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"Nothing can compare to the way we've loved/And my heart still yearns for that familiar tug"

I chuckle to myself while writing the lyric idea down, getting an all too familiar pang in my chest. It's wanting to think of Ford, to think back to those times when everything felt good and I felt loved in a way that was different than how my parents and my friends cared for me. It wants to go back to that time, but I won't let it.

"Sounds good."

The sudden sound of a voice startles me, and when I look up to see Ford making his way through the auditorium I mentally cringe. He easily walks up the stage and slides right next to me on the piano booth, giving me immense deja vu. He looks good: his skin is glowing, his eyes are bright, and the varsity jacket is back on his shoulders. He doesn't just look good, he looks like Ford—at least the Ford that I'm so used to seeing. "Your song." He points to my open notebook, and I immediately shut it and slide it under my butt.

"It's personal." I mutter, pushing strands of my curled hair behind my hair.

"Aren't they all?" He chuckles lightly. "I mean, you used to sing them to me and I'd always get this feeling, like the roles were reversed and I was you for a moment." Ford smiles down at me. "It's really cool how you're able to do that."

"Thanks," I chuckle. "So what're you even doing here? Don't you have a study hall or something?"

Ford shrugs, and it's then that I notice how his bruise is fading. "Study hall's boring anyway. Plus I knew you'd be here."

"Well I'm not that interesting, and you're kind of interrupting me." I inform him, only half joking because he is interrupting me but I don't actually mind.

Ford ignores me for a moment, instead focusing on the piano that's more like an extension of my body. He places his hands on the keys, lightly tapping them, before taking a deep breath and gently beginning to play. The beginning of Clocks by Coldplay gently begins to fill my ears and touch my heart, waking emotions inside of me that can only be summoned by such a classic. I glance at Ford, who smiles at me, and when it's time for the first verse I chuckle before singing:

"Lights go out and I can't be saved

Tides that tried to swim against

Brought me down upon my knees

Oh I beg, I beg and plead, singing

Come out of things unsaid

Shoot an apple off my head

Trouble that can't be named

A tigers waiting to be tamed."

Before the chorus repeats, Ford hits a wrong note which completely throws him off kilter until he just starts playing random keys. I laugh loudly, still on a high from being able to sing along to one of my favorite songs of all time.

"I never knew you played piano." I nudge Ford, who laughs.

"I don't, actually, I just learned that lick because of you." He tells me. "And your insane Coldplay obsession."

"It's not insane, it's amazing—there's a difference."

"I know," Ford smiles. "I'm insane and you're amazing."

I'm about to speak or reply, but I can't seem to find the words. I glance down at my lap where my hands lay, before squeezing my eyes shut. "I like someone." I blurt stupidly, and somewhat truthfully.

Ford blinks, running his hands over the keys again. "Well, I mean, you're allowed to." He says. "Especially after ... us."

"Yeah, I know." I exhale. "And I know that he likes me back, and I don't want to mess this up so whatever we have going on ..." I sigh, slightly hating myself for being so blunt. "It needs to stop."

Maybe I do like Brady and maybe I don't—I'm not sure—but what I do know is that my mind needs some type of reason not to let Ford's sweet nothings lull me in again. This is exactly how I fell last time and it didn't end well, and that was because my heart and my brain fell hard. Now I have the strength and will power to fight my brain but my heart will forever remain another story.

"Leah—" Ford sighs, but I'm already standing up from the booth.

"And I know that I've been interrupting you a lot lately, but I really do have to go." I grab my back pack and toss it onto my back before turning around to face Ford. "I'll see you," I say, before quickly walking off of the stage and out of the auditorium.

What I did was rude, and I know it, but it was also completely necessary. I can't let myself fall into the whirlwind that is Ford Turner, a whirlwind that I'm still making my way out of. Maybe using Brady as an excuse was wrong, but I'm not even sure if it was an actual excuse. Brady and I could be something real but that doesn't mean that Ford deserves to know. What Ford needs to worry about is himself and figuring himself out, and the same goes for me. We both have to get our priorities straight—whether or not they involve each other.

↣↣↣↣↣↣

a u t h o r s n o t e:

this was a pretty short chapter compared to the others, and idk how to feel about that lol.

update—my life is currently in shambles thanks to a cute German boy who stole my heart and took it with him to Germany where I'll never see him again :/ hopefully his plane crashes and he gets deserted somewhere because I'm so annoyed and irritated with him, you guys have no idea. I've been trying to be this kick ass little bitch who doesn't take no for an answer but it turns out I'm just addicted to feelings and let stupid boys take advantage of me. hopefully you guys are a hell of a lot smarter than I am lmao.

anyway, I hope your all having a much better week/weekend than I am lol. I updated earlier because you guys are awesome and I love seeing your comments, so pretty please show

me some love real quick. it's another kick ass Leah moment because I know you guys LOVE those, as do I.

pretty please vote and comment, and I'll see you guys next week or so ((: ❤️