for simone, because she's hilarious and kind and awesome and you should DEFINITELY check out her works

"My name is Leah Michelle Oberlin. My exboyfriend is Brady Hire. I need to see him."

My hands are gripping so hard onto the freezing cold counter top of the hospital registry that I can hardly feel them, just another problem to add to my list along with my soaking wet clothes and hair, shaking body, and tear stained face—all courtesy of waking up in the middle of the night and not bothering to change out of my pajama shorts and tank top.

Sadly, the lady behind the squeaky clean glass doesn't seem the slightest sympathetic as she glances distastefully at my frizzy hair, tank top sticking to my thin body, and dripping shorts. "Immediate family only." She deadpans through the fist sized hole in the glass before clicking her pen and returning to water work she was doing before I entered.

Fist sized.

"Leah? Leah!"

Mrs. Hire, dressed in a soaking night gown and soggy flip flops, comes running over to me. "Oh my goodness." She breathes once she's pulled me into a tight hug. "You have no idea how nice it is to see you." An emotion I never thought I'd see is evident in her mysteriously young features—exhaustion. Baggy eyelids, chapped lips, and hair almost in Afro formation wildly sticks out along her face. Her irises hold the pain of a mother after waiting by the clock to hear the news of what could have possibly happened to her dear son, her one and only Brady.

"Mrs. Hire." I croak. "I need to tell you something—"

"This way, first." She ushers me towards the waiting wing where everyone seems to be—Landon, Kendra, Mr. Hire, Bianca, even Ford. "She's finally here everyone." Mrs. Hire announces, catching the attention of the five of them.

Their tired eyes let's me know that, like me, they ran out in the middle of the night without a second thought. Bianca somehow looks the best out of all of us, her hair still in a perfect bun and features sharply beautiful. Yet, I can see that she's also one of the most anxious—flushed cheeks, tear stains, bloodshot eyes—just like the rest of us.

Of course there's Landon, holding a seemingly shocked Kendra as she clutches into his flannel pajamas tightly, her knuckles white in the making. But Landon's eyes are on me as I sit by Ford, and I can tell right then that he knows somethings up. He has always been the nosy one, the one to figure things out even when you did your best to hide it, and right now is not the time for him to expose me. I look at the floor.

"What were you trying to tell me?" Mrs. Hire wonders aloud, catching my attention.

I gulp. I kind of killed your son. "I forgot flowers."

Mrs. Hire beams. "You're always so caring. Brady is lucky to have you."

Landon grunts. "You haven't told them?"

"Told us what?" Bianca wonders. "I don't think anything could be worse than this."

Landon chuckles dryly. "That—"

Ford is quick to my rescue, his wit finally coming in handy. "That we all forgot our presents." Ford places a comforting hand on my knee before smiling comfortingly at the Hire's. "We're all sorry. We just wanted to make sure that everything is okay."

"What's wrong with Brady?" I ask the Hire's glancing at all of them to see which one answers first. "Is he going to be okay?"

"Skull fracture." Bianca deadpans, her body suddenly going still. "He was driving that fucking Mercedes while drunk and now he has a fucking skill fracture. He's in surgery now."

None of us say anything, but I find it difficult to hold back the tears and rising vomit, so before any one can speak I push off from my chair and dash down the hall towards the nearest bathroom. When I don't make it there, instead finding the nearest trash can, I proceed to empty my stomach of the cheese and beef lasagna that my mother had made for dinner.

"It's okay, I got you."

Ford gently rubs my back, holding my wet hair back in the process as I continue vomiting, the vile burning my throat. I hear a quick "Can I borrow that?" and when I finally sit up, Ford begins to gently wipe off my face with a warm towel. "Now, I know you don't like your vegetables but that's no way to get rid of them." He jokes.

"This is serious." I mutter, feeling the tears return to my eyes. "This is all my fault."

"This is nobody's fault, Leah." Ford sighs. "Brady made this decision on his own. All we can do is wait and see what happens."

"No," I shake my head. "I told him to leave when I should've made him stay. He was so drunk and I just wanted him to stop—"

"Wait, what?" Ford scrunches his eyebrows in concern, setting the towel down on a small table nearby and cupping my cheeks in his hands. For a moment there, I'm no longer in the hospital, instead back in the restaurant with his lips on mine and that hot, tingly feeling you can only get from touching a flame—"Brady was over your house?"

"Just for a moment." I mutter. "He was angry and then he was sad and then he was gone. And now we're here."

"Leah, why didn't you call me?" Ford grips tighter onto my cheeks. "I could've helped you, princess. I could've prevented this."

My voice shattered as I spoke, epitomizing the state of my heart. "I didn't know what to do, Ford." I explain. "I just ... I didn't know."

Ford presses me into his lean chest, entrapping me so tightly in his arms that if I even wanted to I wouldn't be able to leave. But I didn't. I didn't want to leave the one and only place that felt like home in my heart. I didn't want to break free from the arms I had only dreamt of sniffing once again—that familiar woodsy, clean scent.

That scent I had fallen in love with.

"While you two are clearly falling in love, my best friend might be dying." Landon chucks a cup of water in our faces, and as the freezing cold liquid makes contact with my eyes, ears and nose I feel my body break out of its sudden shock. "Grow the fuck up." Landon spits before dropping the cup and stomping on it with his worn tennis shoe, and then making his way back to the waiting area.

Ford pulls away from me first, wiping his wet face off with his tee shirt. "He's right, you know." He tells me softly. "We should stop."

"Yeah." I agree softly, not even bothering to dry off my once again soaked face. "I know."

"I'll head back first." Is all that he says before walking away from me and down the way that Landon had previously gone. And then the moment is over, I'm back to feeling like crap, yet my small problems are no match for the very large problem that I myself caused.

↣↣↣↣↣↣

Sitting and waiting in a hospital waiting room to here news of what happened to somehow you love is the absolute worst. You're sitting there, trying not to think of the worst all around you people all around you are receiving that dreaded news, that dreaded "I'm sorry." from a doctor. So when a doctor does finally walk up to us, to say we're anxious is an understatement.

The doctor is short and chubby, wearing a sleek white coat that has against his large arms and belly. "Family of Brady Hire?" He calls out.

"That's us." We all say simultaneously before scrambling out of our seats and over to the doctor, who glances at us uncomfortably.

He clears his throat, "Immediate family." He reiterates.

The Hire's step forward, all clutching each other tightly with breaths so short and raged that it would seem like they're the ones in need of medical attention.

"Good news." The doctor claps his hands together. "Brady has survived surgery and is conscious under medication. He wishes to see you all."

My heart softens at his reassuring words, and I'm barely able to stay upright as we all make our way down the white halls of the hospital, paste moans of emotional pain from grieving families until we reach Brady's room. "Who's first?" The doctor asks us, glancing from Giselle to Bianca and then everyone else. "He requested to see each of you separately."

"We'll go." Mr. Hire replies, grasping Mrs. Hire's hand in his.

"I said one—"

Mr. Hire leads Giselle right past him. "And I don't care."

Once they're gone, Bianca turns to the four of us. I'm standing by Ford, looking at the cold tiled floor while Landon is holding Kendra in his arms, whispering things into her hair to get her to come out of her shock. She has yet to speak a word.

"You guys aren't dating anymore, are you." Bianca blurts, her inquiry coming out as more of a statement. "And my parents don't know."

"Now didn't seem like the right time to bring it up." I mutter.

"Why?" Bianca steps closer towards me, her eyes like taggers. "Even I knew how much my brother cared about you. And that night you came over? Totally won over my parents." She crosses her thin arms over her chest. "So what the fuck happened?"

I lick my chapped lips. "I—"

"She cheated on him." Landon intrudes. "With that piece of cow dung standing next to her."

Bianca glances at Ford, looking him up and down like he's a stranger. And I guess go her, he could be. She goes to a completely different school and most likely hasn't seen Ford over her house in a while. "Wow." She chuckles, running her tongue over her teeth. "What, you couldn't handle being loved irrevocably? Or thought about constantly?"

My voice is dry and frail when I speak. It wasn't like that." I try to justify myself, but it's useless. Bianca's arms have dropped to her sides and she's taking threatening steps towards me.

"Then what was it like?" Bianca hisses. "Do tell me Leah, because even I kind of liked you for a minute. At first I wasn't all into the whole innocent act that you seemed to keep up so well, but after seeing how honest you were at dinner, I thought, maybe she's alright! Maybe she'll be good for Brady!" Bianca shakes her head, her dark bun wiggling in the process. "But no. You're just like everyone one of those fucking sluts at your stupid school."

"Stop." I bark, my voice shattering into a million pieces as I clench my fists and tears burn at the edge of my eyelids. "Stop attacking me. Stop berating me. Stop treating me like I'm below you when I'm not. Stop making me feel worse about myself than I already do. Stop hissing at me. Stop scolding me. Just stop."

Bianca rears her hand back and slaps me, hard, across my face. The door to Brady's room opens and out walks Mr and Mrs. Hire, both looking like they can use a nap, before they notice the dark red hand print on my face and the steam practically pouring out of Bianca's ears.

"Watch your mouth, bitch." Bianca warns me before marching into Brady's room and slamming the door. All that can be head is Bianca's screaming at Brady and the monotonous sound of machines beeping.

And my entire soul deteriorating.

↣↣↣↣↣↣

By the time that it's my turn to speak to Brady, I'm already shaking. Landon and Kendra both went in before me and came out even worse, Kendra barely moving at all and Landon with a stone cold expression on his face. Ford was just the same, immediately excusing himself to the bathroom and not returning since. The Hire's, on the other hand? They all had returned with gleaming smiles on their faces, even Bianca, whose smile had immediately faded once she laid eyes on me. Nevertheless, I had no idea what to expect.

Slowly, I stood up from my chair and squeaked my way towards Brady's door. I took a deep breath to try and calm my rapidly beating heart, but it changed absolutely none once I opened the door and stepped inside.

Brady laid on the hospital bed, hooked up to a number of IV's and tubes, and he didn't notice me at first. He seemed to wake up almost, his dark eyelids fluttering open until the irises nesting inside of them landed on me. And he smiled.

"Hey," He croaked softly, trying to sit up but falling right back down when he's strength wouldn't correspond with his brain.

"Hey." I tried to smile but my lips were chapped and my heart was sore so it came out as more of a grimace. Walking over to the plastic chair next to his bed, I take a seat and let out a long and tired sigh. "I'm glad you're alright."

"Yeah," He chuckles, licking his lips and connecting his eyes with mine. "I'm sorry about springing up on you like that. You didn't deserve that."

"I deserve all of the fear and pain in the world after what I've put you through." I chuckle hoarsely, glancing down at my hands as they lie limply in my lap.

"No you don't." And before I can expect it, Brady reaches down and grasps my hand in his. His skin is dry and much paler when combined with mine. "You deserve all of the happiness in the world, Leah, every little drop of it that someone out there will be able to give you." Brady smiles sadly. "Even if it's not with me."

I bite my bottom lip to keep from crying, but I fail miserable as small tears roll down my sore cheeks, burning the abused flesh. "This is all so fucked up." I breath unevenly. "I fucked this all up. I'm the reason you're lying in that bed, the reason why your sister fucking hates me and the reason why our friends can barely hold it together out there." Using my free hand, I swipe at my falling tears. "I just can't keep a good thing."

Brady uses his thumb and gently wipes away my tears, smiling the entire time. "Yes you can. You kept life, and that's more than I can say."

"You don't understand," I exhale frustratedly. "I always find a way to--" Its then that his words hit me like an ice cold brick to my face. "What do you mean thats more than you can say?"

Brady's still smiling like I'm still his girlfriend and the entire world is at peace, like life is so easy and breezy and I shouldn't be emotionally freaking out over his next words. "I'm dying, Leah." He whispers. "The surgery helped, but not enough. I only have a few minutes."

"No," I'm shaking my head, my dry hair whipping across my face and thicker, fatter tears streaming down my cheeks. "No, no, no, no, no, n--"

"Shh," Brady attempts to soothingly shush me but I continue my chants of no's until I wake up from this awful nightmare. But that doesn't seem to be happening, because when Brady manages to lead me out of my chair and up onto his bed so that my head is lying on his chest I'm still chanting even louder and sobbing even harder than before.

"NO." I sob into his chest, clutching his torso to mine as I feel his fingers gently begin to run through my hair. "NO NO NO NO NO NO ..."

"Leah I want to tell you something. " He whispers. "I want to tell you that you're the most beautiful that I have every met in this entire world--inside and out. I want to tell you that I'm sorry for never hearing your entire side of the story with Ford, and I know that it's one hundred percent more truthful than anything that he told me. Along those line, I want you to know that we only hated Ford because of how he left you--heartbroken and feeling sorry for yourself. Baby, you have to stop hurting yourself over people. You have to stop the throwing up, the self doubt and pity, the crying—you need to love yourself. I told him that I wish we would've been friends still, that he'll always be one of my best friends no matter what and that I was sorry for hating him for so long. The best night of my life was our first date, Leah. The best moment of my life is right now, getting to hold you to my chest and tell you all of the things that I've secretly been thinking." He kissed the top of my head, emitting a scream of a sob to escape my lips. "I love you more than anything Leah, but I have one final wish. Will you sing to me?"

I turn my head on his chest so that I can hear his heartbeat as it slows, and with shaking lips and a voice that sounds more like a sob than actual words, I sing:

Look at the stars

Look how they shine for you

And everything you do

Yeah, they were all yellow

I can hear Brady's heart monitor slowing and his breath becoming even more labored, but i only shut my eyes tighter and try to sing stronger.

You're skin

Oh yeah you're skin and bones

Turned into

something beautiful

Do you know

You know I love you so

You know I love you so

Brady's hands slowly stop moving through my hair.

It's true

Look how they shine for you

Look how they shine for you

Look how they shine for

I no longer feel Brady's chest moving, instead I hear the heart monitor blaring as a straight line shines across the screen.

Look at the stars

Look how they shine for you

And all the things that you do

Brady Hire is gone.

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