please sir, may i have a snapshot of the precious little phalanges on your feet ?

🕺my name is no🕺my sign is no🕺my number is no🕺you need to let it go🕺

but mister, i was promised the sight of your amazing appendages !

genuinely what the fuck is wrong with you

momma dropped me a lot as a youngin, there's still a dent on my head

😶

oh fair esquire, shall i break into song to share the woes of my upbringing?

how'd you know i'm a lawyer ???

wait shit really

I JUST LOOKED UP SYNONYMS FOR MISTER IDK

please don't sue me

i can barely afford cream cheese

my bagels are dry everyday

wtf

oh don't you judge me lawyer boy

you're not a judge, you can't

haha i am dying with laughter right now :/

how did you get this number

it's unlisted

wait omg are you one of clay's influencer friends ???

goddamnit. dream gave you this number ??

lemme guess, you're number girl

actually nick did

so HA

who are you

quackity lol

YOU'RE THE ME PERDONAS GUY

MY REPUTATION IS POPPING OFF

LETS GOOOOOO

where are the feet pics i was promised on twitter

you saw that ?

yes.

ooooh...so are you serious ?

down that bad ???

do you know how much cash i could get from them

like i said, mama wants her cream cheese

don't call yourself mama wth

oh go take me to court over it

wait no

let me have a creamy bagel first

i have to flex on my father's lactose intolerance 🙄🤚

show him who has the superior genetics

i-

im gonna sue you for emotional damage

and then i'm gonna sue sapnap for basically doxxing me

it's not like i know your name or where you live :(

please don't make me give you money, emu man

im not a fucking emu

im a duck 😠

emus are 1000x better though

the people of australia lost a war against them in 1932

an actual fucking war, against BIRDs, and they DIDN'T win

so calling you emu man was a compliment really

so what do you call dream then?

i call clay a dilf ;)

NO

DID NOT NEED TO READ THAT

NUH UH

IT WAS A JOKE

YOU'RE HORRIBLE AT TELLING JOKES

STICK TO TEXTING RANDOM NUMBERS

APPARENTLY IT'S WHAT YOU'RE GOOD AT

well damn say less 😏

maybe nick isn't my soulmate after all

bye bye americans, hola guapo 😍

¿qué chingados?

eres una pinche pendeja

damn that's all the spanish i knew 👩‍🦯

guess our love wasn't meant to be ❌🦆

goodbye rosaline

i gotta go find my juliet

WAIT WHY AM I THE GIRL

I WANNA BE ROMEO 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

ROSALINE SURVIVES, YOU IDIOT

I WAS LETTING YOU LIVE

IT WAS A COMMON COURTESY

i don't understand why dream has kept you around for so long

you're fucking annoying

right back atcha babydoll <3

wE dOn'T kNoW nObOdY

ok yes i just watched a 'quackity's funniest moments' video, i'll admit

fan behaviour 🤩

funny how bitches turn into my fans 😆

i hope one day you take off that stupid fucking beanie and it's revealed that you have a monk haircut and you get bullied off the internet

well damn okay then.