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Dedication: BimboLimbo for the awesome banner, thank you very much! :)

Recap:

I let out a humourless laugh. "Oh yes, Carter Williams here to save the day yet again. My hero."

"Lacey-"

I'm not sure what happened, but somehow the line was dead and my phone was back in my bag. I clutched at my head, the emotional tidal wave smashing back through my weak barriers. I began to clamber to my feet, only my body didn't seem to understand.

"What the-" I slurred, trying to make my body do what I wanted.

Black dots began to edge my vision and soon. I swallowed down a lump of something that had lodged itself in my throat. This was happening again. I never thought I would take this path again, but it happened. I felt the familiar sense of fear swell inside my chest.

"Carter," I tried to call out, but my mouth wasn't working.

That was the last thing I remembered before I completely blacked out.

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I would have been less surprised if Hitler came back from the dead, than I was when Lacey's name appeared on my phone. Even though I was mad at her, without a moment of hesitation, I slid my thumb across the bottom of the screen.

"Lacey?"

Her words so slurred and inaudible, it took me a moment to understand her.

"I hate you for what you've done to me."

My stomach twisted painfully. My heart race increased as I felt guilt flood through my veins. She didn't deserve someone like me in her life. I only ever seemed to bring her pain. Saying that I didn't regret impregnating her best friend and that I would sleep with her again was harsh and definitely untrue. I only said that because she got back at me by hurting both mum and myself. I was angry and hurt, but it still gave me no right to say that to her.

She was like this because of me. I had to make things right.

I gripped my phone hard in my hand as I could hear her sniffling and crying. My heart ached at the thought of her sad and alone. She needed me. I needed her. I know I'm bad for her and it's selfish to want to be with her, but I do. I can't help the way I feel.

"What? Lacey, are you okay?" The words tumbled out of my mouth before I even knew what I was going to say. My heart was pumping rapidly inside my chest as I waited for her reply. I was afraid I actually wouldn't hear her, with my heart beat pounding so loudly in my ear drums.

"How could I love a monster?"

Even though she was hard to understand, those words were clear and cut me like glass. I physically felt her words as they burned through my flesh.

A monster.

I was one. I was a cyclone and tore everything down in my path. More specifically, Lacey.

I paused for a moment. My stomach dropped as I realised she was drunk. Her words weren't jumbled as one because she was crying and upset. It was because she was wasted out of her mind. I gulped, my throat suddenly feeling dry.

"Where are you? Have you been drinking?" I asked urgently, images of her abandoned on a street were flooding my mind.

I hardly even remember the conversation now. I was unsure of what I was saying, but I knew she wouldn't tell me where she was. I had to find her. Keeping my phone firmly pressed against my ear, I began to run towards my car in panic.

The engine rumbled to life and I burnt rubber getting out of the driveway. In my peripheral vision, I saw mum emerge from the door to see what the commotion was. I felt a pang of guilt in my stomach. We had been avoiding each other ever since the fact that I was going to be a father was out in the open. I knew that she was going to support me in every way possible and always be there for me, but I also could see the disappointment deep in her eyes.

I floored it as I realised the line was now dead. I cursed loudly, thumping my fist roughly onto the steering wheel. More curses flew out of my mouth as my eyes were darting everywhere.

Slowing the car down to a crawl, I swept my eyes through every inch of town, trying to find her. I had almost lost all forms of hope until I saw a motionless body sprawled on the ground about twenty minutes later. Slamming harshly on the breaks, I leapt out of the car. A guy was approaching her. Turning, I grabbed the baseball bat I kept in my back seat. Lacey used to always make digs at me for having that there. Who knew I would be using it to potentially save her life.

He squatted down and began rummaging through her bag. Low life scumbag.

"You low life piece of shit!" I seethed, practically spitting fire at the man

My fist connected with his nose and I heard a crack. He let out a strangled cry falling backwards. Before even having a chance to react, I lowered the baseball and pressed the end to his throat. He was someone I had never seen before which was odd. Having grown up in this town, I tend to know most people. At least this was better than someone I actually was friends with.

"I don't care if you have no roof over your head tonight. If I ever see you near this girl again, I will kill you. Now get out of my sight before I fucking kill you."

His eyes widened and he scrambled to his feet, nursing his broken nose. Blood was pouring down his face as he sprinted away from me, terrified. My entire body was trembling as I was so wired up. I dropped the bat and sunk to my knees.

"No, Lacey, no," I whispered furiously, my voice broken. "Oh God..."

Blood. There was so much blood. It flowed from her wrists and over her smooth, tanned skin. Her knees were scratched and bruised, but nothing like the blood that was coming from her wrist. I remember that day that her parents found her, almost dead in their bath tub.

It was the most terrifying day of my life.

Grabbing hold of her bag and the end of the bat, I picked her up, cradling her to my chest. Tears stung at my eyes as I realised if she died, her last memory of me would be saying that I would hurt her again and that I didn't regret doing so the first time.

It was moments like this that made you change your whole perspective on life.

"Don't you dare leave me," I hissed through my gritted teeth, as I jogged towards the car. "Don't you dare."

As quickly as possible, I lowered her on my back seat, her body flopping lifelessly. I sprinted as fast as humanly possible around to the driver's side, taking off towards the closest hospital. I had to get her there.

If she died...

It felt like hours, when only it was mere minutes, when I reached the hospital.

"HELP!" I screamed out dramatically, like people always do on the movies. I clutched her body, hugging her to me. Eyes of passing people were glued to us, all wanting to know what was going on. "Get out of my way! Move!"

I rushed through the sea of people and towards the emergency doors. The nurse's eyes bulged out of her head as she saw Lacey and the blood pouring from her. Her blood had matted onto my shirt, but I didn't care. All I wanted was her to be okay and safe again.

"Do something!" I screeched, my voice reaching an all-time high as she stood there, a little stunned.

As if that triggered her into action, she began dialling something and calling someone through a mobile-type device. Instantly, a group of paramedics and doctors flooded around me. She was pried from my arms and placed on a stretcher. Our lack of contact made me feel empty inside. I sprinted after them as they hurried her away from me, without saying anything.

"Sir-Sir!" the lady insisted, pulling me back. "You can't go past here."

"Like hell I can't," I growled, shaking her off aggressively.

"Do you want to be the reason she dies?" she barked at me, losing all patience.

That stopped me in my tracks. I flinched as her words hit a little too close to home. I swallowed the dry lump that had seemingly lodged itself in my throat, realising that I had been acting carelessly, like usual.

"I didn't think so. You can't go past here. Please go to the waiting room. We will keep you updated." her voice softened slightly as she realised what she said. She looked absolutely exhausted. She must get situations like this all the time.

Swallowing, I nodded and made my way back to the waiting room. What she said was harsh, but it made me listen. She took off into the room and the doors shut behind her, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I wasn't quite sure what to do next.

I stared down at my blood-drenched hands and clothes, suddenly feeling light headed. Collapsing down on the first chair I saw, ignoring the blood, I placed my head in my hands. The room started spinning. I clenched my jaw, trying to focus on my surroundings.

I'm not sure what happened, but soon I was on my hand and knees, dry heaving. My throat burned and my stomach ached as my body urged.

The thought of Lacey like this physically made me ill.

She had to be okay.

***

I didn't think I would be in this situation again.

Doctors constantly monitoring me as I'm on suicide watch. My parents staring down at me so confused and worried. My counsellor, discussing plans over with my parents at the sessions I would need to take again.

And Carter, again, being there for me even though we weren't on good terms. This overwhelming sense of deja vu was disturbing. The whole idea of being here again made me want to vomit up my entire life's consumption of food.

I stared at my hand, which was being clasped tightly in Aiden's. I stared at Carter who was glaring holes in the back of his head. Mum, had her hand over her face, her cheeks tear stained. After seeing her mother die, having me almost commit suicide probably wasn't helping her through this. Dad has his back to me and was in deep conversation with my former counsellor, Dr. Marez. Or maybe not-so-former.

"Lace," he whispered.

Carter was the first to realise I was awake.

It was like someone set off a bomb. Everyone jolted and rushed to my side instantly, asking me questions, invading my personal space. I squeezed my eyes shut, wanting nothing more then for them to all just leave me alone. I had a sudden urge to be sick again, but for different reasons this time.

"Hey guys, why don't we give her some space?" Dr. Marez said, instantly sensing my claustrophobia. I was surprised that no one else noticed the instant pressure they were putting on me. When I opened my eyes, they were all backed up, except Aiden, looking at me like I was about to blow up.

That was even worse.

No one knew what to say now. I pointed at the empty glass besides me. My throat was drier than sandpaper. Mum jostled forward and quickly filled up my cup. I reached for it and paused, staring at the thick bandages on my arm. I must have had a deep, antiseptic clean again to make sure no infections had started.

Swallowing, I reached for the drink again and sculled the water. It was refreshing and instantly soothed my throat.

"How do you feel honey?" Mum asked, sitting at the bottom of my bed. "Do your arms hurt?"

I glanced down at them again. Sure, they were stinging slightly, but it wasn't like I lost a limb or anything.

"They're okay." I managed to finally get out.

For the first few hours that I was awake, no one wanted to leave my side. It was as though if they went somewhere, they would come back to find me dead. Which I suppose is a fair call, this was the second time this has happened. But it still annoyed me. It was all my fault though, as usual.

I honestly didn't intend to do that much damage. Just the same as last time. The emotional pressure that built inside my head made me do irrational things. I needed the physical outlet, no matter who says what.

"I'm really tired." I said, void of emotion, cutting off the words mum was saying. "I want some quiet."

"O-okay sweetheart," she stuttered slightly, a little surprised at my bluntness. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"No, it's fine. You guys go get some rest. I'm fine."

The doubt was obvious in her eyes as she pursed her lips. "We're not going anywhere."

"Suffocating me is not going to help. Please, just look after yourselves and stop worrying about me. I won't be alone anyway."

They knew I had brought up a valid point. It only took another twenty minutes of me begging them to leave, before they finally caved. With a kiss from both of them on my forehead, they parted, finally leaving me to some peace and quiet.

Except the two boys in my life had different ideas.

"Can I talk to her?" Carter said, his voice tense as he attempted to be polite to Aiden. "Alone?"

"I don't think that's a good idea-" Aiden began, but I waved him off, feeling exhausted all over again with everything.

"It's fine," I sighed. "Check in on us in five minutes to make sure I haven't killed him though."

Aiden offered me a smile, thinking I was joking. Reluctantly, he also walked from the room, leaving me alone with Carter. I swallowed nervously, avoiding eye contact. If my counsellor found out I was alone with him, she'd probably have a fit. She knows very well everything that has gone down between us. Better than anyone else actually.

"I can't believe you did this because of me," he began, sounding grave.

My head whipped to his in surprise, as my mouth fell open. "Are you serious?"

He lifted his head, confusion clear on his face.

"Yes, you were one of the leading reasons I had a meltdown, but it was not all about you. God, you're so selfish. It actually makes me sick how selfish you are." My voice automatically became louder with each word. I let out a groan of frustration. Of course he would make this entire situation revolve around him. A nagging voice reminded me that I was also selfish for doing this in the first place but I firmly ignored it.

His eyes widened, but he didn't say anything back, which I'm glad for. I took it as my cue to continue.

"I did not almost kill myself over a boy. I'm not that pathetic. Yes, your betrayal really hurt me, but the fact that I can't stand the person I've considered my best for the last two years, my grandmother, of all people you should know how close I am to her, dying, my inner conflict towards Aiden and the fact that I have been more alone than I've ever felt within the last few weeks. I just needed someone there for me. But the most important friends of mine betrayed me. With each other. Oh and my parents are probably hanging on by a thread as well, just to add to everything."

He opened his mouth to reply, but I held up my hand, signalling that I was not finished.

"So no," I continued, my cheeks flushed with anger. "I did not do this only because of you. I don't want to hear if you're sorry or whatever story you've rehearsed. Just leave me alone okay? I'm sick of you and everything. I'd really appreciate it if you could fuck off."

He jaw was clenching and unclenching the entire time I spoke. His teeth were gritted so tightly I'm surprised they didn't snap off. Silence hung heavily between us until he managed to get himself to speak.

"Okay." he responded, much to my surprise. "But we will talk soon."

"Yeah," I said, my voice softer this time as I slowly began to calm down. "Soon."

With a brief nod, he rose from his chair. He made it to the door, before turning back.

"I'm glad you're okay," were the last words he murmured, before disappearing out the door.

No matter how much he just frustrated me, seeing him leave left a little pang of sadness inside my abdomen.

I hated the fact that I immediately missed him as soon as he was gone.

***

"I don't think this is very healthy." Aiden murmured dubiously.

I glanced down at the number of chocolate wrappers that were scattered around me, the empty Nutella jar, a ripped open popcorn bag and my lemonade bottle. Okay, so when you look at it all together, it looks like a bit much. But when I was eating it all, it went really quickly...

"What episode are you on now?" he asked once I didn't reply.

"Season 3, episode 2."

His eyes almost bulged out of his head as he stared at me in shock.

"You've watched two seasons in two days?" he exclaimed.

"What?" I asked defensively, snuggling further under the covers. "American Horror Story is addictive okay?"

"You have a problem."

I have many.

"Well it was either this, or a run, but I don't have the energy to move."

Frowning, Aiden gently sat down, brushing away the various chocolate packets. He looked a little disgusted at how much I had eaten. To be honest, I was a bit disgusted myself. One human should not be able to wolf all that down within a few hours.

"How was school?" I asked, arching forward and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. I pulled back quickly though, goodness knows what my breath smells like. I haven't moved from the lounge for a while now.

"It was okay. Mercedes tried to talk to me a couple of times but I managed to avoid her most of the day."

"What did she want?" I asked, trying not to sound moody at the mention of my former best friend. A scowl immediately found its way on my mouth though.

He jerked his shoulder up. "I probably don't want to know."

"Either."

"Spoken to Carter?"

"Not since the hospital." I sighed, leaning my head back and rubbing my hands over my eyes. "I don't really want to at the moment. I'm happy watching Tate instead."

"Isn't he only Tate in the first season?" Aiden questioned, confused.

"He will forever be Tate in my eyes." I replied passionately, clenching my fist.

"You need to get out of the house." Aiden laughed, looking at me like a freak. "Maybe we could go for a walk?"

"But I'd have to get up."

"You're a slob."

"Ugh, fine." I groaned dramatically, slowly going into standing position.

Dragging my feet, I gradually made my way to my room and began peeling my dirty clothes from my body. I glanced through my window, staring Carter's house. I had been home for a couple of days now, but I was having the week off school. Hopefully more if I can convince my parents.

We'd been spending a lot of time, just as a family, which was nice. Lots of board games and cooking. I think mum was just trying to distract herself as much as possible and was using me as her human prop.

I wasn't looking forward to my counselling sessions starting back up. My first one was tomorrow. It's weird, once I get there and start talking, it's really easy. And refreshing, actually. But it's just the idea of actually going there is what makes it hard.

Carter had tried to ring me once, but I didn't answer. He hasn't tried again. I just want to distance myself from him and be with my family. Aiden has been over twice now, making sure I still had a pulse. Things were going quite well with him. Okay, so we haven't really spent much time together, but anyway.

Slipping on a pair of dark jeans and a blue top, I began fumbling for a jacket. I threw my hair into a loose bun and made my way back out to the lounge. Aiden stood and grabbed both of my hands with his. He leaned forward and softly kissed the tip of my nose. I laughed, playfully pushing him away.