Clover sneezed; someone must have been talking about him. About what, he wasn’t sure. He wasn’t an interesting guy. Maybe talking about yourself counts. Clover scratched his head. How did this superstition even come into existence? It made no sense.

Before he could delve deeper into the roots of his beliefs, Adam and Stav came over. It was a small surprise that they were still here, but moving supplies and people wasn’t easy during the apocalypse. Not only did they have to contend with the occasional monster while traveling, but they also had a limited amount of vehicles.

Moving the scavenging crew back to the factory wasn’t a high priority to whoever was organizing this thing - they placed greater importance on bringing people to the battlefield to clean up the aftermath. That said, a transport van was coming to pick them up in a couple minutes.

“I’m sorry,” Adam said with red eyes. “I wasn’t supposed to be here; I messed it all up.”

Clover’s forehead creased, unsure how to respond. At this point, he was more comfortable fighting monsters than dealing with crying people. “What are you talking about? There’s nothing to apologize for. You couldn’t have known an army of monsters would pop up.”

“Joe and Larry died trying to protect me, right?” Adam said, ignoring his response. Sometimes people didn’t want to hear what you had to say - they just needed an ear willing to listen to them get their problems off their chest. Clover had heard someone say that on a t.v. show once. The advice seemed applicable to his situation, so he closed his mouth and let the kid talk.

“When a lady went around gathering people for a dangerous scouting mission, I volunteered, but she rejected me - told me I was too weak and young. I should have listened, but I wanted to be like you. I wanted to be strong. After the scavenging group formed, I approached them directly. For some reason, they let me join,” Adam paused, wiping away the tears that fell from his eyes. “Because I didn’t listen, I almost died. I know I never should have come here. I’ll give up on my dreams; I was never meant to reach them anyways. I’ll just stay inside and do what I’m told from now on,” Adam finished, running out of steam.

Adam was the same as him. Based on his deathly pale skin, he was trying to Level Up to cure his condition. He couldn’t fault someone for that. Giving up on his dream wasn’t an option.

“Do you know how my first fight against a monster went? I got lucky and stabbed an injured Bone Rat in the back while it was distracted. Even then, it almost killed me. If one of its wild swipes had landed a couple inches higher, I would have died. I lost my second fight. Before the monster could finish me off, Claire came to the rescue with my golems. And you know what happened in my third fight: I got lucky. I was completely surrounded by hundreds of Bone Rats, and I would have died right then and there if Dr. White hadn’t unlocked his Shard. But, even through all that, I’m still here, right.” Clover took a deep breath, taking the second to rapidly think up a way to tie together his rambling.

“You didn’t kill Joe and Larry - the monsters did. Besides, look up. You’re Level 4 now. This wasn’t for nothing. You’re different now. You can’t let a little difficulty stop you. As long as you keep getting a little stronger each day, you’ll surely achieve your dreams. Just maybe choose an easier fight next time,” said what came to his mind; he wasn’t sure if the words applied to him or Adam more.

A white van pulled up.

“Thank you,” Adam left, climbing into the transport vehicle.

“Be careful; it’s not safe out here,” Stav said, then left.

“I will,” Clover stared out at the groups disposing of the Giant Grasshopper corpses, wondering if he had said the right thing. Maybe, he should have told Adam to give up. Adam would have been safer that way. Clover sighed; he found himself doing that a lot more lately.

Doctor White slowly walked around the perimeter of the battlefield, patrolling for more monsters. After a few minutes, his path overlapped Clover’s. Clover’s heart rate increased.

“You have a lot on your mind?” the doctor asked as he stopped his patrol next to his chair.

“More than ever.”

“I understand the feeling.” Dr. White lit a cigarette and smoked it.

They rested in silence. Both looked out at the rubble-ridden street they had inadvertently created - neither looked at the other.

Questions licked at the tip of Clover’s tongue but now wasn’t the perfect time. Maybe he was just procrastinating. He had talked big about facing his fears head-on, but reality wasn’t that simple. Words were just words.

He had always been afraid of confrontation.

“You know that’s bad for you,” Clover said.

“I know.” He tossed the cigarette on the ground and extinguished it with his shoe. “I doubt I’ll make it long enough for a couple cigarettes to catch up with me.” He glanced at Clover. “Sorry for everything. I’ll make sure we make it through this.”

Clover nodded slowly. This was a conversation between two people talking past each other, neither brave enough to truly speak their minds. He didn’t like it, but it was comfortable.

As the doctor got ready to leave, Clover used [Abyssal Perception of a Fragmented Mind], inspecting him once more. Pale, white, and ghostly, the aura Clover's soul cast pushed back the doctor’s. Dim and almost transparent, he hadn’t noticed it before. Still, it was capable of pushing back the deep red that emanated from Doctor White. Both auras deformed out of their usual shape, mingling and pushing against each other in a somehow friendly manner.

Clover focused. He wasn’t here to look at himself. Within the Doctor’s blood-red aura, Clover felt the capability to peer deeper - past this reality. Instinctually, the Paths he had finished granted him knowledge of what he was about to do.

As he poured Mana into [Abyssal Perception of a Fragmented Mind], a many-faceted glass window appeared in the middle of the red aura. He stared at it, black and white sand running along its exterior - almost like t.v. static, blocking his view of what was on the other side. Something clicked a deep empty sound, and his vision split in two. Suddenly, he could see through the empty window.

The Abyss and the manifestation of the doctor’s soul revealed themselves to him. Within the window, a carousel lit in bright golden light spun endlessly. In its center, a giant apple tree sprouted. Though, he was looking through a window, his senses weren’t limited to sight. It felt like he was there.

Laughs and sounds of happiness mixed with a lively classical soundtrack, but no one was there. It was a ghost town - all the seats on the carousel were unoccupied. The scene took on a haunting note as Clover noticed a deep inky black had surrounded him. The manifestation of Doctor White’s soul was the only source of color and light in the Abyss - a lighthouse warding off the encroaching dark.

Clover waited for a moment, unsure of what he was supposed to do or learn from this. An apple fell from the tree, splitting in two on the ground. It was rotten with a bite already taken out of it. A stream of light flowed out of its two broken halves, temporarily coloring the darkness.

As if watching a movie, Clover watched as the colors painted themselves into solid forms.

“Why don’t you kill it?” a small child asked, not more than seven years old. His features were clear and crisp. If Clover didn’t know any better, he’d think the child was real.

A man in a white lab coat who looked like Doctor White, just older and with a more crooked nose, slid a plastic up along a wooden table. Trapped inside was a bug. “Well, Sunny, I think everything deserves a chance to live. Even something as small as a bee.”

“Isn’t that unrealistic?”

“Look at you, already using such big words.” He ruffled the kid’s hair, then paused. “Maybe it is, but the best things in life often are. If it was easy, it wouldn’t be worth pursuing.”

The kid laughed.

“Hey, don’t laugh; I was trying to sound profound. Show your old man some respect.” He palmed the cup and opened a window.

“Be free,” the man chuckled. The bee buzzed around, then circled back and stung the older man. “Son of a bitch,” he moaned as he swatted the bug away.

The child laughed harder. “What’s a bitch?”

The scene faded away, and the inky darkness returned. Clover mentally replayed what he had seen. It must have been a memory - the System had said the Abyss was the realm of souls, magic, and memories, after all. Though, he wasn’t sure why he had seen one of Doctor White’s childhood memories or why the memory had been stored in an apple. If it was stored within the manifestation of his soul, it must have been important to him.

He glanced up. 99 apples hung lazily in the tree’s branches. Beneath him, the remains of the fallen fruit sunk into the ground, disappearing.

For a moment, the lights flickered, and the music skipped a note. When everything returned to normal, the carousel was just a bit dimmer.

A pressure fell across the manifestation of the doctor’s soul, raising goosebumps on his arm in the real world. Immediately, Clover could tell that whatever was happening was not natural. The inky darkness began to swirl, coming to life, and the sound of crackling electricity echoed within it.

Clover looked out, searching for the source of the disturbance. A titanic bolt of red lightning flashed, briefly illuminating the dark. In the fading light of the red bolt, the outline of a tendril looping in on itself in impossible ways appeared. Clover tried to take a breath, but he couldn’t. His lungs wouldn't work. Absently, he noted that his HP was beginning to tick down at a steady rate.

Even when he could no longer see the tendril, he couldn't look away. He was frozen in place. Another pillar of red lightning flashed across the darkness, illuminating the entity once more. Clover traced the tendril to its center, his eyes sweeping past a billowing cloak, more tendrils, and a box with a ribbon, on top. Finally, he reached its center.

A giant purple eye stared at him unblinkingly. Clover screamed. The window into the Abyss shut, and he found himself back in the real world, blinking stars out of his eyes.

Congratulations! Abyssal Perception of a Fragmented Mind has reached Level 6.

Congratulations! Abyssal Perception of a Fragmented Mind has reached Level 7.

…

Congratulations! Abyssal Perception of a Fragmented Mind has reached Level 11.

The System’s warm embrace left him, leaving him weak and frail. For that moment, his cancer burned hotter in his chest than ever before. He coughed hard twice.

“Are you alright?”

Clover wiped a stream of blood from his nose. The side effects from whatever had just happened were already fading away. Though he had a deep headache that refused to lessen in intensity. After checking his Status, he discovered that his HP had been cut down to half for looking at that horrible entity for only a couple seconds. To his surprise, he noted that his MP bar was now completely full.

“Maybe you shouldn’t push yourself so hard. I can handle things here,” Dr. White said, resting a hand on his shoulder. He was probably using some doctor Skill that went over his head to check if he was alright.

“I’m fine. I should say the same thing to you. You’re the one who passed out.”

“Fair enough.” Doctor White stuck his hands in his pockets. “You’ve changed. I’m happy for you. It feels like only yesterday you were scared of cats, and now you’re fighting monsters, keeping up with the best of them.”

“That was seven years ago. Plus, they’re totally dangerous. I was right to be afraid.”

The Doctor laughed - a genuine one. Clover joined in, forgetting for a moment the danger of the situation.

Out on the cracked street, an argument erupted between two scavengers, fighting over a rare monster part. One pushed the other over, knocking them to the floor

Clover sighed, feeling like an old man. The end of the world had a way of bringing out people’s true colors. For most, it was not pretty, and yet, even with all he had seen, he couldn’t convince himself that the doctor was a bad person.

Dr. White frowned. “I’ve come to a realization that I can’t ignore any longer. Most people aren’t inherently good; they won’t do the right thing unless someone makes them.”

The member of the cleanup crew that had been knocked down got up and threw a punch, devolving the situation into a brawl.

“I’ll handle this.“ The doctor trudged away, forcing his exhausted body forward. “Thanks for saving me. A lot of people would have died if you weren’t here today,” he said as he walked, throwing a wave behind him.

And so the conversation ended with Clover’s goals unaccomplished. He glanced up at the sun with squinted eyes. He still had time before the operation would end. Just because he failed once didn’t mean he should give up - that’s what he told Adam. He didn’t want to be a hypocrite.