“It’s called air conditioning, and it would literally change your life. It’s a little box that spits out ice cold air, no matter how hot it is outside. Look. Not having air conditioning is the least of my concerns. Humans have it so good you don’t even know how bad you have it. I mean, just look at what happens when you people try to leave your cities! You get attacked by monsters! On Earth we’d just call in the national guard and mow down every pursuer beast on the continent with machine gun fire from a helicopter. They’d be done and back home in time for lunch! And don’t even get me started on nukes. If I even tried to describe them, you’d probably think I was just making them up.”

Clarice took a few more seconds to finishing scratching down my words, then deliberately set her quill aside and looked me dead in the eye. “Mr. Koutz, I am not sure you have seen enough of Earris to make the judgments you just have. We do not have air conditioners, but we have Artifacts that accomplish the same function of cooling air.”

“Then why am I sweating right now?” I demanded. “Let’s go get one of those things and bring it in here. I don’t mind the cold, but I hate being too hot.”

“Heat Takers are very expensive, and would not be placed in an office for casual use. The Construct College has one in their research lab.”

“Okay. Well, where I come from, it’s almost unheard of for someone to not have an air conditioner in their house. See my point? Your magic can do a few neat things, but compared to the technology of humanity, you’re all practically cavemen. I can’t wait to go back home.”

“Reducing the cost of your Artifacts does not qualify rissian culture for such casual dismissal, and I would suggest not making such comments in front of other people. Some might have a more emotional reaction than myself.”

That was rich coming from her. More emotional? A rock was more emotional than this lady! “Oh, there are lots of things we can do that I bet you don’t have a magical equivalent of. Have you been to space before?” I pointed out the window to the sky. “You know that Heaven’s Bridge thing you have in the sky instead of a moon? Has anyone ever gone up there and brought a piece of it back down with them?”

“That is not possible. High altitude testing has determined that magic stops working in space.”

“No, it is possible,” I said. “You just can’t do it with your puny magic. We’ve sent people to space. We even have some people that live up there in a thing called a space station. Then there are nukes: they are bombs so powerful they can wipe out entire cities in a few seconds. And we can launch them on rockets to anywhere in the world we want in just a few minutes.”

“Is that all they do?” Clarice asked, to my utter surprise. “Yes. We do have a magical equivalent of that power.”

“You have nukes?”

“We do not call it that, but the Goddess Marketh once used a power like you describe when she cast her judgment on the heretic Fayden. The history books describe it quite vividly. Marketh’s Judgment left a crater on the Southern tip of the Kaladorian continent. The god of Earth must be generous indeed to entrust such power with you humans.”

I had to laugh at that. Clarice wasn’t even taking notes anymore. It seemed like maybe we’d gotten off the script of her little interview, which was fine with me, as this was the most fun I’d had with the whole thing. “God? What makes you think god has anything to do with it? The last person who went around Earth calling himself a god got crucified. Nukes are the furthest thing from ‘divine.’ They poison any land they destroy for ten-thousand years. I don’t think any god worth worshipping would allow a weapon like that to be created in the first place.”

Clarice frowned. It was the most emotion I had seen out of her yet. “I am surprised you have that word—crucified. That is a very specific and painful way to kill a man. You did that to your goddess? And now your people can destroy cities with her power?”

I rolled my eyes. “You say that like those two things are related. They’re not. And the god thing didn’t even really happen. It’s just an old story some of us still tell each other.”

“As you say,” Clarice agreed. She picked up her quill and looked back down at her notes, the discussion of human superiority forgotten. “These last few questions will help us better understand the nature of your Skill.”

My stomach dropped at the mention of my Skill. Of course they’d want to know that! What was I going to say? If they so much as caught wind of—

“Interesting. That is a powerful emotional reaction. What triggered it, Mr. Koutz? Are you afraid of discussing your Skill?”

I glanced at the Triplet Medallion. Between that and Clarice’s ability to read my emotions, I had about as good a chance of getting away with lying as a fish would to summit Mount Kilimanjaro. I’d have to be smart for once. “I’m still getting used to the idea of having a Skill,” I said. “Sorry.” A true statement, even if it had nothing to do with the question she’d just asked me. The medallion agreed; I wasn’t lying.

Clarice nodded. “There is no reason to be nervous. I already received Mr. Joy’s report from his meeting with you. I will just ask you to fill in the gaps.” She looked down. “He says your Skill is identical to a Brand he sells called, ‘Spend Vitality’.” She looked up. “To the best of your knowledge, is that correct?”

I felt my face flush with heat. What was I going to say? What was I—It came to me. “No, that’s incorrect. I used the translator Brand you bought for me to look up my own Skill and it has a different name.”

Clarice seemed to accept that explanation. The medallion didn’t object to my misleading answer, either. “What is the name, then?” she asked, quill ready on her page.

“Consume Vitality.”

“Strange that it would have a different name,” Clarice said as she wrote that down. “And that is the only difference?”

Shoot! I couldn’t get out of such a direct question so easily. While I was deliberating how to answer, Clarice looked down at her notepad to write something down. I saw an opportunity. “That’s the difference I noticed, but I’m no expert. If I were you, I’d just go with whatever Gora said.” The Triplet Medallion flickered for just a second at the small lie, but not bright enough to catch Clarice’s eye while she was looking away.

“Why are you so nervous right now, Mr. Koutz?” she asked without looking up.

“I just… don’t like these questions. Talking about magic doesn’t make sense to me. We don’t have that on Earth.” Two separate and distinct statements. Was it true I didn’t like the questions? Yes. Was it true magic still didn’t make sense to me? Also, yes. Was slapping those unrelated statements so close together going to mislead Clarice as to their meaning? Not my problem.

“Yes, I understand. Most of the ogres I have interviewed are unfamiliar with the magic of our world. The ones that weren’t exposed to it in their home world often share your superstitious fear. That is the last I will make you think about it. I just have one last question for you: are you a twin, triplet, or some other multi-birth child?”

I blinked. “Not that I’m aware of. I think my parents would have mentioned it. What does that have to do with my Skill?”

Clarice made a note. “You mean it wasn’t explained to you? It is common knowledge in Earris. Twins produce what are known as ‘Cooperative Skills.’ The originator of the Spend Vitality Skill was a twin. It is odd that you are not, given your Skill is a copy of that one. It could be a fluke of your Outworlder status. We do not have enough data yet on Outworlders to say if those rules apply to them.”

“What do you mean by cooperative?” I asked.

“The Skill does nothing by itself,” Clarice answered without looking up. “If the only Skill you possess is the ability to spend vitality to power other Skills, then your Skill is worthless alone. Twins can use Skills like that on each other.” She waved her feather quill dismissively. “Pay it no mind. If you were anyone else, I would assume your twin died before you could remember. Skill Scholars also believe no two Skills can be completely identical, but you have already proven that doesn’t apply to you. This is precisely why Outworlders make for such interesting case studies.”