I’m not sure if it had to do with the cold blooded murder or if all the accumulated stress and trauma but that night, I began to dream. Not just any dreams either but dreams of my childhood back on earth, dreams of the time that made me as broken as I am, even before coming here and becoming a slave to a sadistic master.

First, I dreamed of the beatings. Whenever my mother had decided I did something wrong she would start counting. The count wasn’t a count down however, she instead would be counting up. This count was supposed to indicate how many times I would be hit for the offense of not doing something or failing to respond fast enough or just having a look on my face. Also, she would always count by fives. At first that was bad enough but then I started to get a little tougher and stopped crying at 25, 35, even fifty strikes. That was when she abandoned the numbers and just kept hitting me until I would scream and cry how sorry I was. The fear and injustice and panic all ran through my mind as the dreams came. I must be an awful person for my own mother to beat me so much. Truly awful.

Next, I dreamed of the neglect. Once the beatings had lost their effectiveness boredom was used to break my will. Hour after hour, day after day being left alone in my room with nothing at all to do except for a bible to read while the rest of the family laughed and watched television together. Hours turned into days. Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into years and finally I lapsed into a sense of emotional numbness. No point in being alive, no point in dying either.

Finally, I dreamed of public school. Laughing, jeering kids, pushing, shoving, mocking and ostracizing. Children act with a herd mentality when not properly supervised by adults and they have a way of singling out those who do not fit in well and it becomes socially acceptable to mock and hurt them. My mother, of course, did nothing about it because she couldn't be bothered with anything beyond giving me the bare minimum now that I am too large to beat and too numb to hurt.

The dreams hurt. They ripped open old wounds that I had thought were left behind in the world I had come from. Why should I be plagued by such dark memories when I am in this new world? And more importantly, why should I still be so hurt by such trivial things when the world I was in now was so much more cruel than even the one I had come from.

It hardly matters I guess, with the onset of dawn I once again woke up inside the resting room where I lay on my cot. I am covered in sweat as if I had been feverish throughout the night and the sheet is tangled around me as if I had thrashed all over in my sleep. Idly I wondered if it counted as a nightmare if it was all just memories and then headed over to the goblin who was distributing bread and cheese to get my breakfast before heading over to the main office to see gikats about a healer. Those nodules in my mouth hadn't changed or gone away so it seemed as good a time as any to get checked out.

*****

No more than thirty minutes had passed and I was in the training room instead of Gikats's office. I should have known that a lowly slave wouldn't get to see a healer without some money and my own master would have to shell out for that. So it was a no-go. After Gikats explain this to me he recommended that I return to the training room and do some more training with Lily because I had another match coming up the next day.

Thwump - thwump - walk

Thwump - thwump - walk

My daggers found the targets repeatedly while I scowled to myself.

Thwump - thwump - walk

Thwump - thwump - walk

This isn't doing much for my skills but the repetition is helping my frustration.

Thwump - thwump - walk

Thwump - thwump - walk

"Ok what gives?" Lilly calls out after a while. "You've been staring daggers while throwing your daggers and not speaking at all. What has got you so upset? Is this about last night?"

"No it's not about.. that thing from last night, it's about being a slave. Something funny is happening to my body and I can't go see a healer and get checked out. It's frustrating to be reminded that I am livestock and not a free person that’s all."

Lilly looks at me with consternation for a moment and she looks as if she doesn't know how to process what I had just told her, and then she begins to laugh. And she laughed hard, one of those laughs that grabs you by the belly and won't let you breathe until you almost pass out and then still won't quite go away for a bit.

When she was finally done she wiped the tears from her eyes and said "That's what's bothering you? Seriously? After everything you saw yesterday. After what I told you to do last night? I was worried about cold feet and you are just mad because you have a fever and can't see a healer for it? You gotta be pulling my tail. After this she had a short chuckling fit before asking me what I wanted to see a healer about.

Thinking about it I said, "Actually, now that I think about it, maybe we shouldn't just talk about it here since it happened after something that happened at the OTHER training room" having finally realized that these blisters only appeared after being force-fed the poison potions to gain a fast immunity.

As soon as she caught on she decided we might as well go and talk about it if I wasn't going to have my mind on training anyways. Better to get it out of the way than leaving it as a distraction in my mind.

As per usual I changed into my sneaking clothes out of her trunk and then utilizing the special skills and techniques she had taught me to avoid being seen as if by magic, I headed out behind her to the abandoned house Lilly had commandeered for my assassin training.

Once I had picked the locks and ascended the stairs, I once more climbed into the attic where she was waiting for me. Once there I explained what was going on and showed her the blisters. While at first seeming bored and likely just humoring her student, once she saw the blisters she grew excited and stated that they looked like some kind of gland I had grown but she would need to run some more tests to be sure.

As expected Lilly then began to set up her alchemical apparati and before long was standing in front of me holding a ceramic beaker and brandishing a sharp implement at my 'glands' as she had called them, wanting to pop one and collect the fluids.

After a few moments I was able to convince her to use the blunted end as they pop rather easily, much like bubble wrap from my original world. What was that place called again? It's getting harder to remember. Little details like bubble wrap or the internet will come up to the surface but the important things are starting to disappear.

Anyways, after Lilly had extracted the fluids from my glands she waited a few minutes and then had me open my mouth again before smiling in satisfaction and grabbing her beaker again. We sat there until she had enough for what she called testing. She seems happy while she starts to work, lighting candles, swirling around liquids, grinding up powders, and all the while grinning ear to ear like a cat with a new toy.

I stood behind her and watched for a while but as the sun started to get lower in the sky and she was too engrossed in her task to explain what she was doing or what results she expected to get from any of the alchemical processes she was performing, I decided that it was time to call it a day. I then told Lilly that I was going to head back to the arena and get some dinner and rest before my match tomorrow, she barely acknowledged my words with a nod and then I slipped out and headed back.

*****

I made it back to the arena and into the resting room without incident, stopping in the training room to collect my normal clothing from the chest that Lilly let me use for storage. It wasn't much, just a sack cloth tunic, and truth be told I would rather wear the other clothes, but I don’t want to risk losing them if anyone sees me so it's better to change back.

Afterwards, I collect the basic bread and cheese and head to a nearby cot to get some sleep. One perk of staying at the arena is that nobody else ever has their slaves stay here so I always seem to have first choice of bed.