She still remembers it even after years passed and her life withered to become a new one. The time when she was living as a woman named Lara, who bitterly lived while believing there was no such love in that world. What was love supposed to mean anyway? How could people adore and dream of it? while every single time of her was filled with memories that led her to define love as the worst substance a human should not ever have.

It was painful.

Full of unrequited expectations.

Exhaustion.

It was filled with agonizing disappointment and revenge.

No empathy nor sympathy.

Yet,

" ... she is my safest place in this world." the man in her previous life- with his silly smile and sweet voice. Somehow, she questioned how could a human in this kind of world spread a smile like his as if only happiness surrounded him.

' ... you just naïve, there is no such place.' because she felt it. After years passed and she got older. She had to be aware of her surroundings because if she was losing her guard- just in a second her place will be easily taken away.

" You don't believe me, is not it?" asked him. She once hated his sensitive intuition as if he could look at her entirely.

Yet she just put her cold expression as if she was not thinking about anything. " Take my advice." and she said. " Don't ever you put your guard off to anyone... even it is your wife."

' Don't trust them. Don't put any expectation.' then, it will be easier to live in this world.

and the man just looked at her for a while before saying, " Don't you feel tired?"

" I am not."

" Human needs time to rest, you know."

" Really?"

" Trust me."

" There is no point."

" Why?"

" There is no reason," she said. " Human works that way." and she looked at him who looked at her with an expression that somehow pissed her off. A kind of expression as if he pitied her, and her life. After all things that she did to be in the place where no one could hurt her anymore- her heart shook and shattered just because of a mere expression of him." -because, there is no point! there is no point to talk about nonsense like this- So, just fucking do your work and shut up!" and even on that time she realized, she was not in her right mind to then let her emotion burst out like that. Yet, his existence annoyed her so much, he was talking too much. Her heart thumped every time he talked about how he saw the world.

Their life was so different.

and she was fed up listening about it.

her life was nothing like him.

She envied him.

' If I was born as you...what will happen in my life?' and a child-like wish that she never thought to wish before she met him.

"... Maybe someday," yet his stubborn as usual, denied the situation he was in and looked at her without hesitation. " You will find the right person ma'am. The one that could make you feel safe and comfortable in this kind of world." and he sincerely said that while looking at her as if he prayed for that wish from the bottom of his heart. Prayed as if her life was mattered for him. While there was nothing between her and him in the beginning. There was no blood linked inside theirs. There was no reason for him to do that for her.

Yet he did,

he did pray for her to find a place where she could feel safe and comfortable. So then, whenever she feels tired of her life, she could lean on that person and rest peacefully.

' ...and God answered your prayers.' as she is now, as irisha- a woman from another world- holding the hand of a man who let her know the safest place in this hectic world. The place for her to come back. She smiles bitterly. ' I wish I could tell you about him.' or at least, she hopes he could see her from above of how she holds this big hand inside her two hands that are wrapped with bandages desperately. While looking at the platinum hair that covers his closed eyes. Irisha then lets one of her hands go to then brushes the man's hair, so she could see him clearly now.

It is still vivid in her memory- back on that terrifying situation,

Irisha's heart was stopped when she saw him collapse in her embrace.

She was yelling so hard at him, yet she could not feel any responses. At that time, she could not think about anything other than the worst nightmare. It pierced her heart so much for her then, had it hard to breathe. She felt so numb and lost all of her senses.

Even when Ivy came, she could not aware of what was happening surrounding them and just followed everyone who brought the prince to the safest area. Even on the time when the blood that flowed to his vein, it was not bothered her at all. She was not even aware of it because the only thing she could ever think on that situation was the wish of him to wake up,

' Please wake up.'

' Please wake up.'

' Please wake up.'

she did not even realize how trembling she was before Ivy then shook her body to wake her up from her emotion that was drown her.

" He will be okay!" and just when she looked at Ivy's face and understood her words. " He will be okay, so please... calm down." Irisha started to realize her situation and her feeling. The anxiety that was hiding in the numbness, started to flow and made her tears fall from her cheeks.

It was surprised Ivy, as the princess never saw her emotion. It panicked her, as she then tried to calm Irisha down. Yet, when they looked at the prince who woke up, Irisha started to cry even louder while running into his embrace.

In the end, she cried quite a long time before then letting him go to take a rest. It feels embarrassing when she is now recalling the situation, yet- the fact that she knows that he is sleeping soundly in front of her is what matters right now.

She holds his hand tightly, smells the aroma that she always misses while letting her lips touch his warm big hand. Brushes his soft hair while feeling his soft cheek. All of it is so addicting. Somehow she feels like she could just do all of it all day and never she finds herself bored with it.

Yet,

' I have to go and visit him in the morning.' she has to go. Let him rest, so that she could see his smiles again tomorrow, yet- when her hands start to let his hand go and she stands to go back- Irisha could feel that big hand holds her tight.

Somehow, her heart starts to thump while she slowly turns herself back again.

" Don't go." and even the man who is now looking at her with his golden eyes speaking without the sign language, somehow she could understand him.

She then smiles warmly, [ Are you okay?] while slowly she is being pulled closer to him who is now starting to wake up. [ Don't force yourself.] she said while sitting on the edge of his bed, and looked at him with concern.

He then smiles, while poking her nose with his other hand where the hose of the transfusion is still attached. " You don't know how I love to see you like this," he said something she could not understand, with his golden eyes that captivated her in their way. " I love it when your eyes look at me like this."

[ What are you saying?]

" Don't leave me."

and Irisha stopped, as she looked at the hand of him who told the words. ' Don't leave him?' while she then looks at him once more to find out how the smile was then gone. A bitter expression that hurts her.

' Are you afraid too?'

and she frowned, [ I will be here if you want me to.] while the tears somehow gather in the edge of her eyes, [... If you want someone like me to be with you, I will.] and the tears start to fall, [ ....but I am a sinner.] and how trembling her lips are while saying the world that was once stuck on her throat.

Yet, the man's eyes just look at her with sincerity. His warm hands hold her cheeks gently. The warmth that melts all her tension that built up unconsciously- so easily, as she starts breathing comfortably as if the burdens stuffed inside her are gradually gone.

and he smiles while saying, " You don't know how much I want to be with you." and he added, " So don't go away. Don't leave me again. Stay with me. Here." as he then puts his hand to wipe her tears while smiling widely as he always does.

She then frowned as the tears come down like a stream.

She could not stop, because the pain that was once inside her heart started to go along with the tears. The heavy breath she always feels starts to be lighter. The agonizing anxiety starts to meltdown.

The warmth she once seek, she could easily feel on the big hands that touch her now.

He is close.

He is now in front of her.

The warmth feels so unreal.

Yet,

" I am here." he will always convince her of how real him for her now.

[ Yes, you are.] as she then, smiles brightly while putting herself inside his embrace. The wide and sturdy body that could cover herself inside, the refreshing aroma like a morning forest, a calming movement whenever he is breathing, the firm grip of his hold, and a nice feeling whenever his hands brush her hair gently.

' I will get addicted to all of this.'

Yet,

' I feel safe whenever I am with you.'

***

Yesterday was so hectic. After Ivy felt the extreme drop of her brother's intense pheromone, she immediately chased Irisha. She was worried about her well-being as the pheromone of the dragon's blessing is harmful to an ordinary human. Yet, fortunately, they both are alright.

Ivy immediately ordered her men to bring her brother to the safest area because that forest was starting to become hell on Althera. Malum's knights that once restrained to put some action to Jahar's troop because of the first prince's pheromone- was then taken care of the matter with the lead of the first commander Luke.

Then, somehow everything gradually started to get better.

She then slowly got her sense back to then know how the situation was not good for Irisha. Irisha was trembling hard while looking at her unconscious brother. She was paled and filled with worry. Irisha could not even be aware of her existence beside her and looked at her brother with extreme fear and a dreadful silence. Ivy had to shake her body first to wake her up from her nightmares, and Ivy could not even speak a bit after she found Irisha crying in front of her.

... and the time when she looked at Irisha's cry in her brother's embrace, Ivy understood that Irisha was holding herself all this time.

" So... if you believe in me, you have to eat your lunch now. You ate a little of your breakfast so you have to eat a lot now." Ivy said while looking at Arisha who looks so sullen because she still can not meet Irisha even after that Edward man, brought her to the palace yesterday.

"... Why do they take a long time to make up?" asked her.

and Ivy tries to smile, " Well, adults sometimes are complicated." she said. Or, it is just a complicated matter for Ivy to explain it to Arisha who is still a child. How should she explain it to her? When in the morning the imperial maids who were in charge of the first prince well being looked confused in front of his room.

Ivy then asked them, " Why are you just standing like this?" while looking at the cart filled with foods and medicines.

and the panicked, as usual. " But... "

and she squinted, while just opened the door of his brother's room before she asked for permission and went inside without hesitation. " Broth-" but she stopped immediately while looking at him and his golden eyes who stared at her deadly.

" ... my room is not a place you can freely go in."

and she felt awkward looking at him. "..., at least, say your gratitude first," she said before she looked at the brunette hair that poked out from the blanket and sleeping soundly inside his embrace. She then smiled gently, while then turned her back and closed the door.

" .... she looks comfortable," Ivy said while smiling brightly in front of Arisha.

" My sister?"

and Ivy wakes up from her thought and realizes her existence, then she smiles. " Yes, she is happy."

" Is she?"

and she nodded. " You will see it if you eat well."

and gradually she smiles. " If you promise me, I will," she said.

" I promise."

***