The tears of joy running down my cheeks are making Tyler's journal pages wet. I stare down at the words I've reread at least thirty-eight times now.

I grab my phone, the screen tells me it's 2:40 PM. I have a few missed calls and texts from the girls checking in on me since I went MIA from school. I'm half surprised Payton hasn't just shown up at my door looking for me since school got out almost twenty minutes ago.

But there's no time to explain to the girls what happened right now. My thumbs are frantically typing out a message to the one person I need to talk to most.

Lila: Can we meet?

Stud Muffin: Always for you. Where?

Lila: Um actually, scratch that. Forgot my car is still at the school. Come get me?

Stud Muffin: Perfect. I'll be there in five.

****

My heart is racing faster than the wings of a hummingbird. My palms are sweaty and my throat feels dry. I'm thinking about going back inside to grab a glass of water but before I can complete the thought, Tyler is pulling into my driveway. For a moment I feel paralyzed with nerves, frozen in place on the front steps of my porch. A culmination of pent up emotions I've been feeling towards this boy for months, no doubt.

Tyler cuts off the ignition to his Jeep and hops out with urgency. I see the way he looks at me, a little shy and exposed, unsure of how I received the messages in his journal. But also in his eyes I see the glimmer of hope and the same warmth that he always brings me. The way only he can make me feel like one in a million. Any fears, sadness, misplaced guilt or thoughts of rejection that I've waded through completely disappear. I've missed this boy more than words can adequately say and I'm so ready to stop fighting my deepest desires and just be with him. For real this time. Nothing stopping us.

I don't waste a second longer, leaping off the steps I act on instinct and begin jogging up to Tyler as he's making his way up the drive. I close the gap between us in a few strides, jumping into his arms, wrapping my body around his in a crushing hug. His strong arms wrapping around me, engulfing me. Tears are back filling my eyes, I couldn't control them even if I tried because apparently I'm always a softie when it comes to this boy.

"Lila, I'm so sorry, I—"

"Oh shut up and kiss me already!"

My lips collide into Tyler's, unable to wait a second longer. Tyler sinks one hand into my hair at the back of my neck to deepen the kiss. The other arm still holding me up, my legs wrapped around his waist. I cradle his face in my hands while we kiss with desperation, each of us needing to express to the other how much we have missed one another. As if we each have waited every single-devastatingly long-day to kiss each other again since Homecoming.

After a couple minutes we finally pull away for air. Tyler sets me down on my feet, brushing a loose strand of my hair behind my ear. I tilt my head up, looking into my favorite blue eyes.

"I take it you liked my gift then?" Tyler gives me his signature smirk. The cocky side of him loves to tease me.

"I guess you could say that." I reach up on my tip toes for one more quick peck.

"Seriously though, thank you Tyler. Your journal is probably the most personal gift you could have given me. I'm unbelievably honored you trusted me enough to let me read it. I just wish you would have told me what was going on sooner so we could have figured everything out together.....it could have saved both of us a lot of heartache."

"I know. I'm so sorry. Looking back on things I obviously didn't handle the situation well. If I could do it again—"

"Stop apologizing."

I grab the sides of Tyler's face and force him to look me directly in the eyes while I say this.

"You've proven how sorry you are and I forgive you. There's no need to keep apologizing. Besides, we both have made mistakes, neither of us is perfect. You tried reaching out to me a few weeks ago and I shut you down then because I was being childish and didn't want to hear you out..... What's more important now is that we have each other. I won't be letting you go so easily this time around either." I say with a smirk.

"I've waited so long to hear you say that." Tyler leans his forehead down to mine. He runs his hands along my arms and plants a kiss softly on the tip of my nose.

We stand there, in my driveway, lost in each other's arms for I'm not sure how long. Neither of us ready to let go of the other, but finally the cold November air starts to seep under my hoodie to my skin and I begin to shiver a little.

"How about we go get your car and then I'm taking you on a real date?"

"Tonight?" I give him a big smile. "I can't think of anything I'd rather do."

"Good."

Tyler walks me to the passenger side of his Jeep. He gives my hand a kiss before letting go of me to open the door so I can climb in. His car smells like him. A mixture of his body wash and cologne, the scent taking me back to the first time I ever rode with him after the opening football game. The memory makes me smile to myself as he hops into the driver's seat.

"What are you smiling about, pretty girl?"

"Just thinking about how happy I am."

"Me too."

Tyler takes my hand again and laces his fingers between mine. Our arms entangled on the center console when he begins to drive away from my house.

"But you're gonna give me some time to get ready before we go out tonight, right?" I question.

I gesture to my current wardrobe. I'm wearing my most comfy, oversized and very mismatched sweatpants and hoodie. I'd thrown them on as soon as I got home before curling up in my bed to read his journal. My hair in a messy bun on top of my head, any makeup I'd had on earlier today is most definitely gone. Washed away from the steady stream of tears that have been shed. Realizing right now I probably should have changed and washed my face before I had texted him.

As if he can read my thoughts like he always can.

"Lila, you do realize I think you look perfect in anything that you wear, right?"

Tyler's smile is genuine and I know he's being completely honest.

"But yes, if you want to get ready before we go, that'll give me some time to get everything set up."

"Ok good." I squeeze his hand to say thank you for the sweet compliment. "Where are we going by the way?"

"That's for me to know and for you to find out later." His playful, arrogant grin I'm all too familiar with is back on his face.

"But.....wha—" I cross my arms over my chest knowing he's loving having the upper hand in this situation. But also, if I'm honest, it's also completely adorable. No guy has ever wanted to plan a surprise date for me before.

****

Tyler will be here any minute to pick me up. I'm finishing up curling my hair. I decided on wearing a chunky cream colored knit sweater and dark jeans. It's feminine but still practical for the November weather since I have no idea what we will be doing tonight. Tyler refused to give me any hints even though I texted him again to ask.....it was worth a shot at least.

I FaceTimed Payton and the girls while I was getting ready. I had to fill them in on the whirlwind day. Each of my friends gave me their overjoyed approval that Tyler and I had finally worked things out. Payton being the most outspoken of the bunch when I told them Tyler not only writes in a journal but gave it to me to confess his feelings. He was right, she had no idea he had one! But mostly, Payton wouldn't stop telling me how happy she was for Tyler and I. Which feels incredible since she is my closest friend and Tyler is her brother. I'm immensely grateful that she is okay with me having a relationship with him, something I have always been nervous about.

I hear the doorbell ring downstairs, which makes the giddy butterflies in my stomach flutter. I grab my tan pea coat and purse off my bed and walk out of my room.

"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Daniels."

"Hi Tyler, good to see you honey. Come on in."

My mom gives Tyler a hug and ushers him inside. My parents have gotten really close with Rick and Trista Johnson since moving here. They spend a lot of time hanging out together and Rick and my dad work together too. In turn that makes my parents know and love Tyler and Payton better than any of my other friends.

I know my mom has had her suspicions about Tyler and I having "a thing" but she's kept those thoughts mostly to herself, waiting for me to open up to her. It would have been impossible for her not to notice how mopey I was the past several weeks since Homecoming but she never once pried. She's good that way, she knows that I can take awhile to figure out my emotions and when I'm ready I'll come to her. In the meantime she'll find ways to cheer me up or give advice without actually coming right out to ask me what's wrong. She's never pushed me to talk until I want to. It's a superpower of hers really, something only a good mother can do. So today when I came home from getting my car after school all happy and excited to share Tyler asked me on a date her face lit up into her "all-knowing mom grin." Confirming she definitely knew there was something going on between us. Pretty sure she called Mrs. Johnson to gab about it as soon as I went upstairs to shower. Those two actually remind me a lot of Payton and I.

"Tyler, good to see you." My dad eyes Tyler up and down, shaking his hand.

My dad likes Tyler, I know he does. But as any good father watching his daughter get ready to leave for her first date, he's having a harder time adjusting to the idea than my mom is. Even if Tyler is a wonderful guy, he's always going to be a little bit standoffish and wary of any guy who's dating his baby girl.

I finish walking down the stairs to meet the three of them in our entryway. Tyler looks so handsome. He's wearing a gray and blue pullover sweater with brown buttons and jeans. His brown hair is styled in his perfectly tousled way. Tyler is definitely more dressed up than a normal school day but still casual. I'm thankful I went with a similar vibe for my outfit choice.

"You look beautiful Lila."

Tyler tells me when I greet him with a hug. His cheeks blush a little in front of my parents. It's cute to see him a little uncomfortable. He's normally so charming and confident.

"Thank you."

My mom tries to muffle her squeals as she watches us.

"So, what do you two kids have planned for tonight?"

My mom looks in anticipation at the two of us.

"You'll have to ask him, he won't tell me." I say sarcastically and look up to Tyler.

"It's kind of a surprise."

Tyler blushes again as he talks to my parents. My mom is beaming back at him with her hands on her heart and my dad is sort of glaring?

"But I promise I will have her home by curfew. If you need to know where she is, just call my mom. She couldn't keep her opinions to herself while I was getting things ready so she knows all about what we are doing. I had to make her promise she wouldn't tell you everything until after I picked Lila up. I didn't want to chance her spoiling the surprise." Tyler laughs.

"Oh good! Well you two get out of here then. Sounds like Trista and I have some catching up to do." She gives us a wink and heads off to the kitchen, on the hunt for her cell phone I'm sure.

"Bye dad."

I give him a kiss on the cheek and a hug. For the first time in my life, the giant man who is my father, looks sort of pitiful standing in front of me. He's clearly willing himself to let his only daughter go off with another man.

"Love you Lila girl. Make sure he treats you right." Are the only words my dad whispers in my ear before we leave.

"I will. Love you too dad."

❤️