We were all sitting around the big kitchen table eating breakfast when I finally managed to convince Kate that I hadn’t ignored her on purpose and that the door really had been locked. She was still irritated but at least she wasn’t screaming. That’s something I guess…

"So Ash did you sleep well?" Amber asked in an innocent voice and I could see the brothers shooting her dirty looks from the other side of the table. I didn’t understand why they thought the question was strange and I gave them a weird look before I answered her:

"Yeah, is there a reason I shouldn’t have?"

I gave Kate a spoon and a kiwi that I had cut in two. She took the kiwi and gave me a little less irritated look showing me that I was almost forgiven. Thank god for her obsession with those strange looking fruits…

"Hm that’s strange..." Amber muttered as she studied what appeared to be my throat and I raised a curious eyebrow in her direction.

"What’s strange?" I asked in confusion and I could see the brothers shaking their heads at Amber from the corner of my eye.

What were they doing? Where they hiding something? Had I missed something? I felt completely lost and of course not at all irritated…

"Care to explain?" I said in an annoyed voice and Amber surprised me by smirking. Both the brothers and Vincent gave her a hard look but her smile just widened as she noticed. She turned to me and her eyes shone with amusement as she said:

"You do know that we’re werewolves right?"

I nodded warily and she kept going:

"I guess you also know the meaning of mates by know so I’m just going to lay this out for you Ash. When a werewolf finds her or his mate they don’t simply tell this person “well hello, I’m a werewolf and I’m your mate, come home with me”. They actually have to sort of “make it official” by giving the person a so called mating-bite. The bite will state to other werewolves that you’re claimed and not to be touched and that they better stay the hell away."

She paused and took in my horrified look before she smirked at me and I shook my head to gather my thoughts.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean!? Are you telling me that these guys are going to bite me?!" I shot up from my chair and pointed an accusing finger at Alex, Anton and Adam as what she had just told me sank in.

When nobody said anything I shot Kevin an 'answer me-eye' and if the amused look on his face was anything to go by I would say that that’s exactly what Amber had meant.

"Hell no!" I stated as I shook my head and crossed my arms over my chest in defiance. Alex let out a snort and I whipped my head in his direction glaring daggers at him.

"What!? You think I’m actually going to let you do that?" I growled at him and he gave me a supreme look as he answered:

"You actually think you could stop me?"

I silently fumed at his confident aura and I just wanted to smack that smirk off of his overly handsome face. Why me? I thought for the millionth time since I got into this mess but I didn’t have the chance to say anything as Amber started to speak again.

"Well it’s that and the fact that you’ll have to have sex with them to complete the mating process..." She said in a calm voice and it took several minutes before my brain finally comprehended what she’d just said.

"What?!!" I screamed as my eyes went wide and I had to grip the back of my chair to prevent myself from taking a hold of her and shake her until she admitted that this was all just a big joke.

"You can’t be serious! No, that’s just insane, who the hell does something like that?! You’re fucking crazy if you think I’ll let that happen willingly!" I was shouting and flinging my hands around to amplify the level of insanity in that kind of reasoning.

"What’s sex?" A small voice said and I stopped midsentence as I realized that Kate were sitting beside me with a kiwi in her right hand and an innocent expression on her face.

Well shit.

I stared at her in complete silence until a loud laugh was heard from the other side of the kitchen table. I looked over towards Kevin as he completely lost it, bending over the table laughing like a madman. I stared at him as he sat there tears soon rolling down his face and I couldn’t help it as I felt the corners of my mouth curling upwards.

I let out a small laugh but once I had I couldn’t stop and I had soon joined Kevin, my laugh mixing with his. Kate were looking at me in annoyance but that just made me laugh even harder and my stomach started to hurt as I couldn’t breathe properly.

The lack of oxygen soon had both me and Kevin rolling on the floor in silent laughter and I bet we looked like retarded seals, lying on the floor laughing with no sound coming out. I couldn’t bring myself to care about the fact that I had been about ready to murder someone just a second ago, as I kept laughing loudly.

When I calmed down enough to breathe properly I just stayed on the floor grinning like a crazy person. I didn’t get to do that for long though as I suddenly felt something hard landing on my stomach forcing the breath out of me again. Kate was sitting, straddling my waist and looking down at me with a concerned look on her face.

"You should seek help Ash, because you’re behaving like some kind of lunatic." She whispered seriously to me and I let out a final laugh as I took a hold of her tiny frame and hugged her tightly against me. She yelped in surprise and started hitting my chest as she whined:

"Ash let go you’re ruining the hair-style Amber made me!" Kate whined loudly and I just grinned at her as I pulled us both to our feet and gave her hair a slight ruffle.

"Are you choosing beauty over me, tiger?" I said in a fake sorrowful voice as I pouted at her. She gave me a slap on the arm as she wiggled out of my embrace and took a step back, tilting her head back to look up at me.

"Ash, you know I love you but you can’t always be dependent on me, alright?" Kate said solemnly and I grinned widely at her as I nodded.

"If you say so." I answered and she gave me a pleased look.

She was just too cute for her own good. Suddenly her face turned serious and she gave me a hard eye as she said:

"And Ash, you better not touch my hair next time or I’ll make sure you get that…sex- thingy."

I stared at her serious face and I could hear Kevin start to laugh again and my face split into a wide grin.

"Yes ma’am." I said as I gave her a salute and she gave me one last look before she turned around heading for Amber with a slight toss with her hair.

Wow I would need to make sure she forgot about that word or she would probably go around threatening people with sex…

That would be kind of awkward.

I gazed in the direction of the brothers and I realized they were all staring at me in amusement. I sighed deeply as I remembered the conversation from before. There was no way I would let them bite me…nor would I have sex with any of them and I seriously hoped that they understood that.

Hell if they tried anything I would beat the crap out of them. Seriously.

Well…at least I’d try to beat the crap out of them…I highly doubted in my capability to take any of them down. They were huge werewolves for god’s sake. That and the fact that there were three of them and only one of me gave them a slight advantage I guess…

Not that I would let that stop me from fighting them if they decided to act stupidly. I was not going to be taken advantage of. I would not let anybody control my life ever again.

I had managed to survive the beatings from my foster dad and I had kept Kate away from harm this long. I would not let anybody do anything to her and to make sure that she stayed safe I couldn’t put my trust in others. The only person who would never let me down is I, so that’s who I’ll put my trust in.

I won’t fall for the brothers’ 'We love you, you’re our mate and we’ll protect you forever' - speeches because they too would end up letting me down.

If I really let myself feel, I was sure I wouldn’t be so hard on them. They seemed like nice people (except maybe Alex…) and somewhere deep down inside I knew they’d never hurt us… at least not intentionally.

But that’s the problem. No matter how hard you try or how much you say that you love somebody, you’ll always end up hurt in the end. It can be because they decide to leave you, or because they lie, cheat or simply stop loving you as much as you love them. It can be because they end up dying before you and you’ll be forced to live on without them. There is so many ways in which relationships can end and none of them is worth the pain you’ll feel when it does.

Relationships will change you. They will twist your personality until you’re a completely different person. They can make you feel unwanted, jealous, insecure or simply scared. They can leave you completely exposed as you realize that you’re left with nothing as they come to an end, and whose fault is that?

Yours for taking a shot and trying to fulfill a dream of a happy life, or them for popping your bubble and waking you up?

Dreams are damaging and reality is harsh. You’ll end up being hurt more times than you can possibly imagine and the only thing you can decide is whether you’re going to let it destroy you, or not.

I’ve decided to survive.

I’ll survive on my own and I’ll do it damn well. I’ll keep Kate safe and I’ll keep myself from getting hurt by others. I’m going to get us away from this place and I’m not going to let the brothers’ become people I care about, because that won’t end well. I won’t let them in because I wouldn’t survive the feeling of betrayal if they end up hurting me…when they end up hurting me.

I just wouldn’t.

If only it had been so simple to distance myself from my feelings...