"Holy shit!" Afton exclaimed, jaw dropping. "That is the most impressive thing I've ever seen! And done by a human, no less!"

I grinned, unseen, enjoying Afton's shock and the twins' clear confusion. I walked around, eventually standing next to Afton to wait for Demetri. "She really can disappear," Alec commented.

"I'm still right here, you know," I said, dropping the shadows in order to be heard.

To Afton's credit, he did not jump nearly as much as Demetri had the first time I did it. "That's an impressive trick. We can't see, hear, or smell you at all."

"If you knew where I was, you would be able to pull me out, though," I said.

Demetri looked suddenly concerned. "Really? I had assumed you were intangible as well."

"No. Physically, I'm still present. If you could pinpoint my location, you could grab me and since I can only hide myself it would immediately pull me out of the shadows," I explained.

"Interesting," he mused. "Can you be heard talking while hidden?"

"Not at all, I'm completely hidden. Can't be seen, heard, or smelled at all. I'd have to interact with the environment in some way or another in order to be noticed, though sometimes I can be found through sheer luck," I told him. "Should I go back to hiding again?"

"Please," Demetri said. "I do think I see what Aro meant when he said your mind was murky, but I'm not sure I could track you by it. Right now we're in a controlled environment, and I know you're somewhere close by. Put you anywhere in the world and there's no way I'd be able to find you."

"Keep practicing," I encouraged, the shadows closing around me once more.

"That's cool as hell," Afton said. "So, theoretically, if I were to find you, I could pull you out of the shadows?"

"That is what she said, Afton," Jane sniffed.

"I bet I could do it."

"Hundred bucks says you can't," Demetri said, brow furrowed with concentration.

"You've got a bet. I'll even give you a head start, Rowan," Afton said, smirking.

"I don't think she's going to answer you," Demetri said. "Show him how it's done, Queen Rowan."

I popped out of the shadows by Demetri's shoulder just long enough to tell him, "Just Rowan," before disappearing once more.

Watching Afton try to find me was entertaining. Even though he couldn't hear, smell, or see me, he consistently attempted to do all three. Jane and Alec watched in clear amusement as his attempts to find me failed miserably.

After ten minutes of this, most of which I spent trailing behind Afton, Demetri cursed, causing me to jump and Afton to pause in his search. "What?"

"Well, let's just say that our queen is very good at hiding herself," Demetri said, running a hand through his hair. "I have a vague idea of where she is, which is somewhere over there-" at this he pointed about four feet to my left, "but I can't get any more precise than that, and it's only because I know she's in this room that can I narrow it down that far. Even trying to find her within the castle would be impossible. Yes, her mind is more murky than anything, but it still has no real signature, which is what I need to be able to track anyone."

Afton, after failing at finding me once more, cursed. "I'll get you that hundred later, Demetri."

"Ha," I sang, finally able to step back out of the shadows. "You know I followed you around most of the time, Afton?"

"I'm pretty sure that qualifies as cheating, Queen Rowan," Afton quipped, grinning.

"My queen, are you able to only hide your body while you're in the shadows? Keep your mind from being hidden?" Demetri asked.

"Please just call me Rowan, everyone. At least when it's just us around," I pleaded. "And second, I don't think so. I can do the opposite, which you know, but I don't think it will work the other way around."

"Oh, very well. Rowan, then. Could you at least try? That way if you're in trouble and have to hide, at least I can find you," Demetri said.

I sighed. "Fine, I'll try. I don't think it'll work, though."

"It's worth a shot. You can do it," Afton encouraged.

"Thanks, Afton." I smiled at him before disappearing once more, concentrating deeply on the shadows that cloaked my mind. Trying to repel those was impossible, however; I couldn't push them away without dropping the shadows entirely.

I reappeared after several minutes and shook my head. "There's no way I could do it. I can't push away the shadow that guards my mind without completely dropping the shadows that conceal my entire head."

"Yes, well, that's not convenient," Demetri muttered. "I suppose I'll have to get used to your scent so I can track you the old fashioned way as best I can."

"Sorry," I apologized.

"It's not your fault. At least, if push comes to shove, you'll be safe from notice," Demetri said, sighing.

I glanced around the room. "You said this room is used for sparring?"

"Correct. It's in use nearly twenty-four hours a day. Felix and I train most of the new recruits here, and the instated guard use it to polish their skills by sparring against each other," Demetri told me.

"Neat. Jasper taught me some basic self-defense, but he stopped after a while since he didn't want to slip and accidentally hurt me."

"What sort of things did you learn?" Demetri asked, interested.

"Mostly things that work against humans. Jasper said my best bet if faced with an unfriendly vampire was to just disappear and run. Which, looking back, was pretty good advice," I said.

"It is good advice. Follow it," Alec said. He and Jane had sat down on the step that elevated the doors up from the rest of the room.

"It would be useful for you to know some self-defense, in the case of human attackers. Not that you should have any reason to fear such a thing, but worst case scenario..." Demetri trailed off, looking thoughtful.

"That would be fun! I haven't punched anything in ages," I complained. Demetri didn't look convinced, but the slight lift of his lips told me that the statement amused him. "Besides, it really is all for my safety."

"It couldn't hurt," Afton said with a shrug.

"For the record, I think this is a bad idea and I don't think the masters would approve," Jane said.

I waved away their concerns. "Look, I'll make sure you guys don't get in trouble if the kings get mad at you for training me. Please, Demetri?"

"Oh, fine," he finally sighed, motioning me forward. "I'm going to show you a few moves, correct your stance. Then you can slow spar with Afton - and don't spar full force, Rowan, otherwise you'll just end up hurting yourself."

"I know. Vampire skin hard. My skin soft," I said sarcastically.

Demetri raised his eyebrows. "Do you want to learn or not?"

"Yes. My apologies, oh wise teacher," I said, bowing seriously. Alec snorted loudly.

"I'm assuming you know how to do proper punches, right? And kicks? Let's start out with those," Demetri said. After several minutes of this, in which Demetri corrected my form and gave pointers, he waved Afton over. "Go ahead and start sparring - carefully - with Afton, just so I can get a read on how you'd do in a real combat scenario. Afton, no speed and minimal contact, I'm talking human strength or preferably less. You've trained in strength regulation."

"She'll be perfectly safe," Afton agreed easily, shooting me a grin. "Though I think I've got you beat in this department, Queen Rowan."

I didn't bother responding, as he had taken position and was waiting on me to attack first. Afton was incredibly careful, but even with him holding back on speed it was incredibly difficult to keep up with his attacks. He had me on the floor after fifteen seconds.

"Well, that could have gone better," Demetri said, in a tone that said he hadn't really expected it to. "You're leaving your left side wide open for attacks, and your face when you kick. Try to anticipate where Afton is going to go and adjust accordingly."

"That feels difficult," I said.

"It is. Good luck."

I managed to make contact with Afton exactly once in the thirty seconds it took him to once again best me - but at least, this time, the match did not end with me on the floor. Though the light headlock he had me in was comparably not much better.

"Better," Demetri praised when Afton released me.

"Humiliating," I muttered.

Alec snickered. "You're doing great!"

"Don't encourage them," Jane said disapprovingly. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she was concerned.

After showing me how to escape a headlock, Demetri switched gears. "Don't feel too bad, Rowan. Afton has been training for a very long time. I want to, briefly, tell you what you should do if you ever encounter a vampire who wishes to do you harm."

"I thought we covered this," I said.

"The vampire may not anticipate your disappearance, but he will anticipate where you will try to go. Therefore, your best weapon would be misdirection. Appear in one place, then another, then another. You have to be quick, less than a second. Afton, if you would demonstrate? At human speed, please."

"Certainly," Afton said. I let out a squeak of surprise as he disappeared - it was one thing to disappear yourself and another thing to see it done. He reappeared several paces to the left, and then back to the right, forward, back, and so forth. It ended up being very disorienting, as he only appeared for a second and I could never tell where he was or where he would appear again.

"Demetri said you only have to concentrate to see through your gift," I said, once Afton reappeared for good. "Why can't I see through it?"

"You're still human. Once you're changed, I have no doubt you'll be able to do so with practice," Afton said. "Do you see what Demetri's talking about?"

I nodded. "Can we try?"

"Sure," Demetri said. "Often, seeing a vampire as a human will trigger the fight, flight, or freeze response. You're going to have to think through the fear."

"Now that's something I can do. Let's try it."

"Alright. Afton, I need you to be threatening, like you're on the hunt. Understand? Good. In positions." Afton and I started several feet apart. I stood, feet apart and stance relaxed, as Afton crouched low, eyes glittering in the dim light. There were several seconds before Demetri spoke again. "Begin."

Afton's face changed as he let out a low hiss. He was no longer Afton; he was a hunter, and I was the prey. I felt the fear as it shot through me, cold as ice. Afton growled. My breathing steadied and everything seemed to come into sharper focus. I disappeared as Afton moved forward, ducking under his outstretched arm and turning neatly on my heel. Appear, then disappear. Less than a second.

The shadows curled around me, trying to press me back into further darkness, but I let them fall away - not completely - and began moving as the snapped back in place around me, rolling away from Afton's grip. He snarled angrily. Appear. Disappear. My brain was quick and clear. The fear kept me alert, kept me fast.

Appear. Disappear. I dove through the gap in Afton's legs, the shadows cushioning my fall as I slid across the floor. He turned, eyes darting around rapidly as he searched for me. I stood, shaking my limbs. I moved to his left, steps light and agile. Appear. Disappear. His hand closed a hairbreadth away from my arm.

"Come out, come out," Afton growled. But he didn't know where to look.

Appear, disappear. Too slow this time. Afton caught me as I was disappearing, the shadows repelled as he grabbed me in a flying leap. He controlled the fall, and I was barely jostled as his arm shot out to prevent me from hitting the floor.

"Too slow," Afton gloated above me, grinning victoriously.

There was a roar of anger and Afton disappeared, tackled off of me by a blur of movement. I shot to my feet. Marcus had Afton pinned to the wall by his throat, teeth bared in a growl. "How dare you even think to touch-"

"Marcus!" I said sharply, reaching him in a few quick strides. "Put Afton down, Marcus. He wasn't hurting me."

"He was-"

"He wasn't. Look at me. I'm fine. Not a scratch on me. Do you really think that he, or Demetri, or the twins would be so stupid as to do something dangerous with me? No."

Reluctantly, Marcus tore his furious gaze away from Afton to do a quick inventory of my wellbeing. "Then explain."

"We were training. Nothing more than that."

"You are human! Do you not understand how vulnerable that makes you?" Marcus growled, dropping Afton in favor of towering over me with crossed arms. I clenched my jaw and resisted the urge to shy away.

"All of the guard, out. That's an order," I said. They left the room instantly, Afton looking the most grateful of them all.

"I wasn't done with them," Marcus said.

I crossed my arms too, refusing to back down. "You are done with them. It was my idea, they were against it. You think I don't understand how vulnerable I am? I spent most of my childhood nearly dead and the rest with vampires who could kill me without a moment's notice. You think I don't understand how human, how fragile I am? That is the biggest pile of shit I've ever heard. Of course I know. I'm reminded every day. But I'm tired of being fragile and I'm tired of being vulnerable. So I asked my guard to teach me what they could with my being human, so if all else fails I'll be able to keep myself safe. That's what you want, isn't it?

"I've looked out for myself for a damn long time. I'm not helpless, and I may be young but I'm certainly not a child. I can make my own decisions and you'd be wise to respect them. I am your mate, which makes me your equal, even if I am just a fragile human. I'm sorry that is so very detestable to you."

My shoulders heaved up and down in time with my rapid, furious breaths. Marcus simply stared at me, stunned into absolute silence. For several minutes the only sound was my breathing as it slowly returned to normal.

"Your humanity," he finally said, "is not detestable to me. No part of you is detestable to me. I know you can make your own decisions. I respect that and I respect you. My instincts demand that I keep you safe, even more so because you're human. Being human doesn't make you weak. You're the farthest thing from weak I've ever met. But I could not live if something happened to you, especially if I could have prevented it. So please, just grant me - and my brothers - leniency. We only want you safe."

I was still simmering with rage, not quite ready to accept his apology but not immature enough to deign responding altogether. "I believe you. But I need you to show that you mean it, don't just say it. And have more faith in your guard. They're your guard, and you chose them for a reason."

With that I turned on my heel and strode out the door. Marcus watched me go, wise enough to give my rage time to cool. The door clanged shut, echoing within the empty hallway. None of the guard was anywhere to be seen. No Alec or Jane, Felix or Demetri. I shoved into the room of first unlocked door I could find: a dusty old storage room that looked like it hadn't been entered in the past century. I shut the door and leaned against it, staring into the darkness. For the first time since I arrive at the castle, I was alone.

Completely, finally, miraculously alone.

Edited 4/19/2021