When I was 3 years old, I had tried to learn how to ride a bike by myself. I thought I don't need mum, I can do it. Turns out I really did need mum, and a doctor, and three nurses. I had driven myself right into the gutter which catapulted me into a tree. 4 stitches later and I released I needed my mum more than anyone else in the world.

When I was 9 years old, I asked a girl out for the first time. Her name had been Alice Gray and she was the prettiest girl in year 3. As it turned out, the prettiest girl in year 3 hadn't wanted the geekiest, lankiest guy in the class. I went home crying and mum made me a milo and cookies. I told myself I never needed another girl in my life. Mum was it.

When I was 14 years old, I had finally grown into myself, and I got on the school football team. My first game, I tackled someone a little too hard and his buddy tackled me a lot harder. I was left with a broken arm and a fractured ankle. I was cut from the team for 'bad sportsman ship'. Mum drew a picture of superman on my cast and when my wounds healed she got me put on an out-of-school team, which was better than the first anyway.

When I was 16 years old, my mother was told she had terminal breast cancer. That the chances of her surviving were closer to 0 than 1. But I knew my mum, and I knew that she was the strongest woman in the world. And she beat it. My mum proved everyone wrong but she proved me right because she beat it.

When I was 22 years old, my big brother told me that mum was sick again. That she hadn't really beaten it, just postponed it a little while.

When I was 22 years old, I lost the one person in the world that understood everything about me. That loved me unconditionally. That had supported me all my life. And now she was gone. How was I supposed to live now without her?

Sabine hung up the phone to Nate and placed it down on the table beside my bed. She didn't look up at me and I didn't attempt to engage with her. After my explosion this morning I felt bad, but I refused to apologise for her mistake. Seeing her snuggling up to to boy that shouldn't even be here had made me snap. I wasn't treating her like an assignment anymore. My judgment was getting clouded by my feelings. It needed to stop.

"Is he gone?" I asked as she tentatively looked up at me. I wasn't going to fall for that look anymore.

She nodded slowly.

"Good. He will not be coming back, do you understand me?"

"But-"

"No. That's it. You had your fun and I'm done allowing you to ignore me. He is not returning. Do. You. Understand. Me?"

The look in her eyes made my gut clench. I'd never seen her look at me with such... Hatred. She nodded her head and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

-

I listened as the car engine turned off and the door shut. Riley was standing watch, ready to greet Spence the moment he opened the door. I sat on the ledge of the second story, watching what was about to occur below me through columned bars.

I was so, so angry with Riley. I couldn't understand why he was being like this, it's like something inside of him had just snapped and I didn't know how to handle it.

Spence thought he loved me. But how could someone who loved me be this cruel? It hurt my heart to look him in the eyes now.

The door opened and Spence immediately bumped into Riley. He looked taken-a-back and confused. Riley was speaking in a low tone so I couldn't understand what he said, but from the look on Spence's face I knew it wasn't good.

They spoke for a few moments in hushed voices before Spence looked up at me, a pleading in his eyes. I couldn't help him. I'd tried. I shook my head and looked at the floor, ashamed. I didn't look back up until I heard the door close behind him, to which I saw Riley, hardened and uncaring. I got up and went back into my room.

-

Days passed with me not leaving my room. If I did I would have to answer to this new robotic version of Riley and that was the last thing I wanted. He brought me food and bottled water while I slept. I didn't even get out of the bed except to pee and talk on the phone to Bliss. It seemed this was the way life was going to be for the rest of my time in Witness Protection.

I was trying to figure out the difference between my heart and head. My heart was telling me to go to him, to make him apologise and confess how he felt for me, but my brain was telling me he was an ass and I needed to call Hudson and ask for a new protector. Neither sounded like a spectacular option. The worst part though, was that through all this, my feelings for him still did not waver. Stupid, stupid girl, I thought. How can you still love him when he treats you like the crappy job no one else in the office wanted?

I couldn't stop the thoughts from swirling in my head. This was worse than the nightmares sleep granted. None of those monsters tore my heart out and chewed it up.

It was another restless night of tossing and turning, thinking about jerky police officers when I heard a thick thud come from Riley's room. That doesn't sound good. I threw the covers off and stepped out of bed, opening the door slowly and peering into the hallway. It was dark and silent. The danger hadn't come from here. I stepped out and tentatively headed to the other end of the corridor, to Riley's room. I didn't know what I was going to find there, there had been no further noise. Maybe I had imagined the whole thing as a subconscious attempt to go to Riley. Regardless, I continued until I reached his door. Taking a deep breath, I reached forward and turned the handle.

Inside was a collapsed Riley and a shattered phone. I gasped and reached for him, placing my hand on his shoulder. "What happened?"

He spun on me, a desperate and angry... Indescribable look upon his face. "You. You did this."

I stepped back, afraid. "What are you talking about?" He stood, fist clenched.

"You're the reason that I didn't get to say goodbye to my mother. Because of you she died without me!" His words felt like a knife raking it's way through my stomach. His mum. Oh God.

"Ril-" I attempted to say something, anything to comfort him.

"Don't speak!" He shouted and I gasped. He staked toward me and I felt real fear. I had never thought Riley could hurt me before but now it was looking like a very real possibility. "You've done enough damage already. You don't get to speak."

I continued to back up until I hit a wall. Shit. He continued toward me, placing a fist above me and leaning into my face. When he spoke, I was overwhelmed with the scent of alcohol on his breath. He was drunk. "I've given up a lot for you. My whole life for you. And you repay me by making my mother die alone."

I shook my head, "you didn't have to stay. I told you to leave."

"No, baby. That's not how it works. You don't get a say. I didn't have a choice! Nate told me she was fine, he told me she was getting better. He fucking lied!"

"He didn't mean to lie to you Riley, he thought she was better."

I knew how hard it was to lose a parent. I'd lost two for God's sake. I knew his pain. Which meant I knew nothing could help it, only time. But Lord was it hard to watch him suffer. I hadn't asked for him to stay with me, I'd nearly begged him to go. They could have assigned me someone else. Hudson would have understood. This wasn't my fault but if it was easier for him to take it out on me I'd let him. I'd do anything to just make this easier.

"I didn't have a choice. I had to stay." He was calmer this time, more thoughtful.

"Why, Riley? Why did you have to stay? Because I was your assignment? I told you that-"

"No," he cut me off. "No that's not why."

"No? Well why then?" I demanded. "Why?"

He took a deep breath and looked me dead in the eye, a look of desperation within his. "Because I fucking love you, goddamn it!"

I took a deep breath and stared at him in astonishment. All of the time I had spent thinking about it hadn't prepared me for the event of his actually telling me he loved me. I couldn't comprehend it.

"I fucking love you," he murmured again before leaning in and pulling my face to his. The kiss itself shocked me but what shocked me more was how amazing it was. His lips were warm and soft as they worked against mine. This was nothing like I had ever felt before. It meant something and my heart exploded in joy. For the first time in my life I felt complete with him in my arms. I never wanted this to end. His fingers laced themselves in my hair and I grabbed his shirt for a sense of stability. When he pulled away I all but whimpered, desperate to have him back. I didn't want to let go.

We stood like that for several heartbeats, faces so close but not close enough, our breathing heavy but in sync. His thumb pulled at my bottom lip and I smiled, looking into his beautiful eyes. God, this was everything.

I expected Riley to smile or give my any sort of signal he enjoyed it but instead he stood back, leaving me cold and empty against the wall. His hands flew to his hair as he looked at me in distress. Gosh, I didn't realise I was that bad.

"What?" I asked, "what's wrong?"

"That shouldn't have happened." For the second time tonight that knife stabbed right through my gut, and drew the alphabet while it was in there.

"What.. What do you mean?" I stuttered. This was agonising.

"I shouldn't have done that. You're an assignment. I shouldn't have..." He yanked a bag from under his bed and began throwing whatever he could find in there.

"Riley! What are you doing? You can't leave me!"

"I'll send another guard. I've compromised all of this. I need to leave." More shirts were crumpled into the bag.

"So that's all I am to you? An assignment?" I felt the tears streaming down my face but I couldn't bring myself to wipe them away.

He stopped and stared at me for a moment before shaking his head. "That's all you ever can be."

He zipped the bag and through it over his shoulder. "Don't," I begged. "Don't go."

"Goodbye, Sabine." He walked out the door and I crumpled on the floor. A pile of tears and torn hearts.

He knew how much I hated goodbyes.

-

The sun had come and gone and I hadn't moved. My legs were begging for me to get up but I couldn't do it. Movement would hurt to much. Movement would mean me facing that empty house and what that meant. I couldn't do that just yet.

I hadn't felt this much since my parents death. I lost them and now I'd lost Riley too. I was going to stay here until he came back.

He will come back for me.

They always say that if you wish for something with your whole soul, it will come true. I had always thought it was bogus until I wished for Riley... And I heard the front door open.