XAVIER'S POV

I dropped Jackie home and was on my way back home.

Jackie kept on telling me to sort it out with my mother.

According to her she saw that my mother was feeling guilty and really wanted to fix things with me.

I don't believe it at all.

My so called mother didn't care for back then and she doesn't do even now.

She had seven years to fix things up but she didn't.

And now suddenly after years she realised that she had one more son.

This is ridiculous.

I don't want to talk to her. Let alone look at her face.

I hope she's asleep by the time I reach home.

I parked my car in our garage and headed inside.

I tiptoed my way to the kitchen to grab myself some food.

Just when I thought I was safe my mother came out of nowhere.

"You're back honey. I made you some dinner." She said a little too sweetly.

I ignored her and took the food she had prepared for me and passed by her.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned around to look at her.

I shrugged her hands off of me.

"I don't wanna talk right now, I'm tired." I lied.

I wasn't tired, I just didn't wanna talk with her.

"Sweetie I know you are not tired. Please I just want to talk. Just hear me out honey. Please" she pleaded.

I sighed.

"Fine but only five minutes." I said with a straight face.

She gave me a big smile like she had won a prize or something.

We went to the living room and sat down.

I made sure to sit away from her.

This made her frown.

Yeah right pretending she's hurt. Real classic.

"So what do you want to talk about?" I asked rather harshly.

"Sweetie please just let me explain okay?"

"No. Don't you think you are seven years late for this? Do you know how much I went through after dad died? Do you know that I dealt through it all alone? You might know that, seeing that you spent all your time looking after Lucas and not me" I yelled.

This was just a gist of what I had inside of me.

I had a lot I needed to take out but I won't. I won't tell this woman anything.

I went through a lot of pain. That too all alone.

She left me when I needed her the most.

Hurt was all over her face.

Is she acting? Or was it for real?

"I know I can't say anything or do anything to take it all back. But what I can do is apologise. And I know you won't accept my apology but I really want to be in your life and do everything I didn't do back then. Just give me one chance to explain myself. Please honey."

"I want my son back in my life. Please. I know I wasn't there for you when your dad died but I'm here now and I will do anything for you to forgive me." She sobbed.

To be honest it kinda hurt me when I saw her crying but I just can't forgive her like this.

Hell I don't even know whether I'll ever be able to forgive her.

I can't forget those years just like that. It had scarred me.

I can't let her scar me again. I just can't.

"I don't trust you anymore" I said lowly.

"I just can't. I can't let you hurt me again. Why did you have to come back? Finally when I am happy you had to come and turn my life upside down." I said sadly.

I know she is my mother and trust me all I ever waned was my mother's love but it's difficult for me.

"I know and that's why I want us to start slowly. I'm so sorry son that I wasn't there for you. But please we can't keep on ignoring each other forever. So let's start off nice and slow okay?" She requested.

I sighed.

"Fine. But I want answers first. Why did you treat me like this for so many years? Why did you always trusted Lucas and not me?" I asked.

These questions have always been haunting me and I need answers.

"Do you how that made me feel? That made me feel like he was your only son. It made me feel like I don't deserve to live" I said.

She looked stunned and shocked and hurt.

She should. She has made be go through hell.

"I'm so sorry honey. I didn't know it hurt you this bad. I was just trying to keep our family together."

"Lucas. Well Lucas has tried to do a lot of things in his life. Not good. You should know that the main reason why I treated you like that was Lucas tried to kill himself once."

I froze.

He what?

"He was so jealous of you. Because you were great at everything and that your dad always praised you."

"He couldn't stand the fact that you got everything and he didn't. He felt left out."

"One day I came home and saw Lucas trying to slice his wrist. I got scared. He was only twelve back then. And at that age trying to attempt sucide just made me want to kill myself."

"He told everything to me how he was jealous of you and how bad you always treated him. I was so scared that I believed everything he said."

"I thought everything he said was true but now I guess I was wrong. When I was living with your grandparents they told me everything. About how lonely you were and how much you suffered through."

"I'm so sorry son that I wasn't there for you when I should have. But now I'm here and I won't let him blindside me this time. So please son I'm asking for your forgiveness. I hope you will be able to forgive me someday." She concluded.

I wasn't even paying attention to whatever she was saying.

One word was circling in my head like a toy train.

Sucide.

He tried to attempt sucide.

But why? Only jealousy couldn't have caused him to attempt sucide.

Right?

I have to talk to him. I need to understand why he did what he did.

And I need to do that fast before he does something else.

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