Hey, so sorry I haven't updated in a while. Quarantine has really put me in a rut mentally. But i'm really proud of how well this story is doing so i'm gonna try as hard as I can to finish it. I've got a bunch of ideas that just need touching up so don't worry this story will get finished.

I walk into the apartment and slam the door.

"JOHN!"

I see him in the kitchen. "What is it Shawn?"

"You were wrong."

"About?"

"These feelings. They aren't just in my head. I thought they were gonna go away but they aren't. John I don't know what to do."

"Hunter I didn't say it was all in your head. I said be prepared if it is, and if it isn't, then you like her."

"John that's the problem, I don't think I like her. I think I love her."

He looked taken aback for a few seconds. "You love her?"

"I don't know." I put my hands over my face and sat down on the couch. He walked over and sat down next to me.

"Shawn that's not a word that people should use lightly. That word has a strong and powerful meaning attached to it."

"I know. And i've never really used it to describe my feelings about a person before. But for some reason, when I saw her preform tonight, it was the only word I thought to use."

"You said it out loud?!"

"No, I said it in my head." He sighed in relief. "But it didn't make it feel any less real."

"Shawn what do you think love is?"

"I don't know much about it. But, as far as i'm concerned, I think it's what I feel for Cristina."

"What do you feel for Cristina?"

I thought for a minute. "Everything? Everything and anything all at once. She makes me so happy when i'm with her that it almost hurts. She makes me want to be a better person when i'm around her."

"And when you're not with her?"

"I feel..." I was struggling to find the right words to phrase this. "strangely at peace."

"Why at peace?"

"Because just because we're away from each other doesn't mean either of us are going anywhere. Unlike most of the relationships in my life I don't have to worry about her leaving." I chuckled a bit. "God this is some of the cheesiest stuff i've ever said."

"But is it true?" He looked me dead in the eyes.

"Trust me John I wish I was lying." I got up and walked over to the kitchen counter.

"Why? To me it sounds like this could really turn into something good for you."

"Oh yeah totally. I'll just ask out the girl, who thinks of me as a brother, out on a date when she has a boyfriend. 'Hey Cristina. How was French class? Oh yeah by the way I think i'm in love with you, wanna go see a movie Friday night? You can totally bring Derek if you want.'" I dropped my smile as I finished doing my little reenactment.

"Maybe her feelings would change if you would admit yours."

"John why are you so hell bent on trying to get me to ruin one of the few good relationships I have?"

"Because, i've lived long enough to see how people's lives turn out when they overthink everything they do and don't do what they really want. They aren't happy people Shawn."

"So you're suggesting that i'm thinking too much?"

"For once yeah you are." He stood up and walked over to the counter right in front of me.

"I think i've found a hole in your argument there buddy."

I pat him on the arm twice and grab my jacket.

"Where are you going?"

"Chubbies. I need to clear my head by stuffing my face."

I left and walked to Chubbies alone. Looking up at the sky and then back down to the pavement, leaving myself with the billion dollar question.

What the hell do I do now?

Derek and I were walking to Chubbies. We were just talking about my performance from the day before.

"How come you never told me you could sing?"

"Well, I guess I just didn't think it was worth telling."

He stops us. "Are you crazy? I've never heard anything like that before! You were awesome."

"Enough about me already." I shoved his shoulder. "I'm sick of the praise, I came to eat."

He put his hands up in defense. "Okay okay." I see him glance between me and the sidewalk. "Last one there has to pay." He blurted and took of running.

"HEY!! YOU'RE CHEATING!" I bolted after him and eventually caught up to him. I ended up getting to the door first so I turned around and smiled at him. "You snooze you lose babe." I blew him a kiss to gloat a little and he giggled.

"How did you beat me?"

"Oh please, i've basically had two brothers i've been in competition with since I was 5. You really think they didn't keep me in shape the last 9 1/2 years?"

"Fair point."

"However, you did have the head start Mr. Slowpoke." We sat down at a booth across from each other.

"Ha ha ha, keep poking fun." He smirked.

"Thank you, I will. I'm sure my little sister could've passed you." He chuckled.

"Okay Speedy Gonzales, i'll go order the food since I lost."

I wait for him to order the food and I look over by the entrance to see my mom come down the stairs. Fuck. What's she doing here? I'm in the middle of a date. I get up and go to Derek.

"Ya know i'm actually not that hungry why don't we just go to the movies instead." I grabbed his arm and tried to pull him towards the stairs to leave but he wouldn't budge. The last thing I wanted was for my mom to meet him like this. Or at all.

"What do you mean? I thought you were starving. Plus I just finished ordering."

"Cristina?" I tense up when I hear her voice. Fuck. I slowly turn around.

"Hey mom." I greet her with a hug and Derek turns around confused.

"Mom?" He muttered to me.

"Mom this is Derek, Derek this is my mom."

He held his hand out. "Nice to meet you."

"Derek how come i've never heard my daughter talk about you?" Wow way to make things awkward as usual.

"Mom can I talk to you over there for a minute?" I pointed over on the other side of the room by the foos ball table. I pulled her by the arm before she got the chance to answer and turned back to Derek. "We'll be right back."

We got to the back of the room and she pulled her arm away from me. "Let go of me."

"Okay okay."

"So i'm assuming by the pretty outfit and secrecy that he's the boyfriend you have yet to tell me about." She crosses her arms.

"Wait, how did you—"

"Oh please you're horrible at keeping secrets and the walls are thin. You think I can't hear you two on the phone all the time with the ridiculous little nick names. 'Babe' this, 'Honey' that. Honestly, it's so annoying."

"You're just annoyed that I didn't tell you."

"Yes, yes I am. Why didn't you tell me? I'm your mother, I have the right to know what's going on in your life."

"Well maybe if you made confiding in you feel less mandatory i'd do it more often."

"Oh stop being so dramatic." She uncrossed her arms and put a hand on her hip.

"And you wonder why I don't tell you things." I cross my arms and she looks over at me offended.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that if you heard all the phone calls you should've just asked me about it like a normal person instead of waiting for me to tell you and then interrupting my date."

"Well if you didn't want me hearing the phone calls you should've taken your boy toy off speaker phone and just shut your trap. You're so loud sometimes I can't even hear myself think"

"Wow mom, you know the victim card isn't a good look for you. Maybe you would look better on your couch at your house."

"Don't talk to me like that. I'm your mother."

"Some mother you are. Being petty about me not telling you things so you eavesdrop on my conversations and be rude to my date."

"I was not rude to him."

"He said 'nice to meet you' and you decided to be as cold as possible and make me look bad."

"Ugh, you're such a baby. You get that from your father's side you know. I didn't raise you like that."

"Yeah that's because you didn't raise me at all." She widened her eyes and flared her nostrils at me when I said that. "And by the way, why do you have to bring dad into the middle of every argument? It doesn't validate your arguments. All it does it make you look bitter."

"And your childish fighting makes you look bratty. When we get home you're so grounded. Now let's go." She grabbed my hand and tried to lead me out of Chubbies but I pulled my hand away.

"No. I'm on a date and your house isn't my home. If I wanted to go home, i'd go to dad's house. At least there I can have a civil conversation. You can go home by yourself." I said as cold as possible.

"Fine. Won't be long before he breaks up with you anyway. You're rude, secretive, and disrespectful. He could do a hundred times better than you." She waved her finger in my face. I tried to keep a straight face despite her comment really hitting me where it hurts. "Don't come crying to me when he dumps your ass for someone better." She turns her back on me and leaves. I turn around and try to shake off what she said.

I hate fighting with my mom. She always lashes out and says things that I know deep down she doesn't mean. But it always ends up hurts me. Even after she ends up apologizing and I end up forgiving her. I mean she's my mom. The stuff she says stings. Even if I know it's not true.

I try and collect myself and turn around to go back to Derek. When I look over by the dart board and see Topanga.

"Hey." I say a little shocked. "Umm. How much of that did you hear?" I look down trying to avoid eye contact with her.

She walks over so she's standing right in front of me. "All of it." I take a deep breath and try and hold back my tears. "Hey Cristina?"

"Yeah." I look up at her.

"Are you okay?" That's it. That's the question I didn't wanna hear. That's the question that I knew was gonna open up the floodgates and make my eyes turn into a water faucet. Topanga hugs me as i'm crying into my hands.

"Topanga I wasn't trying to be mean to her it's just I can't tell her things like this when she's blowing up at me all the time and I know she didn't mean what she said but it still hurts. And now i'm just sitting here crying like a baby—"

Somehow she understood me through my sobs and cut me off. "Hey you are not a baby. What she said was hurtful and no matter what you said to her she's your mother, she should've known better than to say such mean things to her own daughter." I keep crying and she comforts me another minute before speaking up. "Hey, why don't I walk you over to my place so we can have a little sleep over and help you forget all about this."

"But what about Derek?"

"I'll go over and tell him you aren't feeling well. You just wait right here and i'll come and get you once we can leave."

I wipe by eyes and let go of her. "Thanks Topanga."

"Anytime."