It's been 2 weeks.

We've lived in the same building for two weeks now. I've seen Cory and Topanga a few times. Although neither of us got the courage to walk up and talk to the other one.

However, I haven't seen Shawn at all. I was starting to worry. I know he probably didn't want to see me. And each time I saw him my heart broke. But each time I saw Cory and Topanga laughing or talking while he wasn't there just broke me even more.

It hurt to see him hate me. But i'd rather see him hurting then know the truth. If he knew the truth he'd feel as bad as I do. No, he'd feel worse. I know Shawn.

He would blame himself.

Violet and I were on our way out to go grocery shopping when I saw Cory by himself getting the mail. He locked his box and looked up at me.

Violet read my mind. "I think I forgot the grocery list upstairs." She lied. I had the list.

I slowly walked up to Cory.

It's now or never. And I can't handle never.

"Hi." I said.

"Hi."

"So Topanga told me you guys got married."

"Yeah." Cory stayed silent. I could tell he was waiting to say something. Unfortunately for me, when he finally got the courage to ask it, I realized I didn't like the question. "Why weren't you there?"

I inhaled sharply. "I—"

"I've known you almost all my life, and you were never the type of person to run away when things got tough. I know there was a reason why you had to leave. Can you just tell me the reason?"

I couldn't answer him. I can't answer him. Even just thinking about the answer would end in tears for me. And I can't let him see me cry. If he sees me cry he will keep asking questions and keep trying to find out. He can't find out. If he knows, Shan will know. And Shawn can't know.

"How's Shawn?" I blurted. I didn't mean to change the subject that drastically, but I really wanted to know the answer.

"He's hurt." My heart raced. "He won't admit it, but seeing you hurts him. It hurts all of us."

I look down. I can't look at him anymore. "That wasn't my intention."

"I know." A silence creeps onto us. We don't talk for about a minute until Cory breaks the quiet. "I missed you."

My eyes started to water.

Don't look at him.

"I missed you too. I miss all of you."

"Miss us? We are right down the hall."

Don't look at him.

"Yeah but 17 year old Cristina isn't."

"Cristina?"

Don't look at him.

"Yeah?"

Don't look at him.

"Could you please look at me?"

I didn't.

"Please?" He begged.

I turned around and began to make my way up the stairs. "I'm sorry I bothered you."

I heard him following me and I started running up the stairs. As I got faster so did he. I saw Violet walking over to me looking confused. I waved my hand towards our apartment door and we both ran inside before Cory should catch up to us.

"CRISTINA WAIT!" He said as we slammed the door. He knocked on it a few times, begging for us to open it. We ignored it. We ignored him.

Eventually he walked away and went back into his apartment. When we heard his door shut I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"You know I always have your back..." Violet started. "but why can't you just tell them?"

I gave her the answer I always gave her. The answer I always gave myself.

"Because if they know, they will carry the burden that it was their fault. And it's not theirs to carry." I finally let the tears fall.

"It's mine."