《Before I Go ✔️》Chapter 25 | Before I Tell Him
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"Tell me why you're bleeding?" I say following after him. I'm surprised when he stops in his place and turns around. His hands hold the sides of my face and I feel his soft lips press against mine.
"Stop talking." Gavin sighs after his lips pull away from mine. What, how could he just kiss me like that? "It was Zach."
His hands move to my shoulders. "You hurt Zach?" My voice sounds raspier, I really should be getting home soon. "Why? He's your friend?" It shouldn't surprise me anymore, Gavin hurts everyone around him.
"Don't be mad, I see the way he looks at you." Gavin tells me. "As selfish as I am if I can't have you no one can."
I shove him away and I can see a smirk growing on his lips like he expected me to react this way. "You're insane."
"I told you not to get mad." Gavin reminds me.
"And I told you, you don't get to make decisions for me. I can't deal with this right now I'm drunk." I try to defend myself, I see Gavin's car shining in the background. "I'll be in the car."
"Wait." Gavin adds. "Take these." He puts a pair of keys into my hand. "I have to grab something, don't think about leaving in my car or I'll kick Zach's ass again just for fun."
I roll my eyes at his threat. "Yes sir." I tease. I notice he smiles at my response and I'm not sure where that came from but I enjoyed being so confident with myself. I stalk my way over to his car and press a few buttons before it finally unlocks. I sit in the drivers seat without a second thought and start messing with the radio.
Grumpy Gavin will probably yell at me once he comes back because I've now changed the station to something I can sing along too. I tap my fingers on the wheel to the song playing and this seems to be the only highlight of my night.
I pull my phone out of my pocket but it's completely dead so that explains why my mom hasn't been calling? I'm sure she's worried but I felt much safer now that I had a ride home.
Coincidentally one of my favorite songs named Moonlight by Chase Atlantic starts to play on the radio so I turn it up. I see Gavin in the distance and I have this sudden idea. I open the door before turning the music as loud as it could possibly go.
"What are you doing?" Gavin rolls his eyes and walks my way, he seems shocked when I grab his hands and pull him closer to the sound of his blasting speakers.
"Dance with me." I say a smile growing on my lips.
"No, I don't dance." Gavin shakes his head at me as I put his hands to my waist.
"I don't either." I chuckle softly, I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer to me. "I think you owe it to me, y'know after you humiliated me once again."
"I told you I was sorry."
I laugh again. "Yes because that will fix everything."
"What do you want me to say?"
"It's not say but do, first I don't want you telling my secrets anymore and second I don't want you hurting anyone else." I tell him, I wonder if Gavin would have told everyone I had cancer too if I had told him sooner? Now I wasn't sure I wanted to tell him.
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He'd use it against me in some say.
"Fine." He finally lets out. "Can I kiss you again?"
"I told you already-" I tell him backing away I walk around the car. "I'm just not ready."
We both get inside and I turn down the music that's still playing. "I thought you didn't do relationships? Or the whole dating thing?"
"I never said I wanted to be in a relationship with you or date you I just told you how I felt." Gavin tells me.
"Okay so now you're telling me you don't want to be in a relationship, I thought that's what you wanted?" I said as he pulls out of the field and onto a dirt road.
"Can we talk about this later when you're sober?" Gavin asks glancing at me.
"Is this because of your trust issues? You don't trust me anymore?" I say.
He doesn't say anything so I take that as a yes. Well I have fucking cancer you jerk! Geez I'm never drinking alcohol again if this is how it makes me feel.
"You what?"
My eyes widen. Did I just say that out loud? I cover my face with my hands and lean forward. Shit. This really wasn't how it was supposed to go?
"What?" I say trying to play it off.
"Did you just tell me you have cancer?" Gavin says his eyes are turning away from the road and then back at me a couple of times.
"No." I say with a nervous laugh. "I don't have cancer."
Gavin pulls the car onto the side of the road and then takes his keys out. "I'm not gonna leave until you tell me the truth."
"Then I'll walk home."
"You can't fucking be serious Alex? Is this some sick joke you're trying to play because I said I didn't want a relationship?"
"I never said I had cancer!" I argue. "My words aren't coming out properly I said you were a good dancer back there not cancer."
He stares at me with hooded eyes and I don't think he's buying it. I think he's reacting very well to this though? Or maybe he's just really tired because it's been the longest night of our lives?
"I-" I get out of the car and feel everything inside my stomach empty onto the dirt. I feel the touch of Gavin's hands pulling back the loose strands of hair covering my face as I lean forward. Once I'm done I get back up and give Gavin a nervous look.
"We can talk about this later." He tells me in a low voice.
The rest of the car ride was silent as my head and stomach started to ache in pain. I was leaning my head against the window with my arms wrapped around my chest. I think I was trying to shield myself or something. We finally get home and our houses are dark, the only light is coming from the front porch.
I stay seated in the car looking in the distance because I remember I don't have a key and I don't want to wake my mother especially in this state. "I can't go in there." I let out my voice is shaky and afraid.
"You can stay in my room for tonight." Gavin tells me stepping out of the car. I'd rather sleep in the car but a warm bed sounds amazing right now, actually no I'd probably be sleeping on the floor psh what am I thinking?
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I'm still inside and realize Gavin's opened my door for me and he's waiting. I slowly step out of the car before Gavin slams the door shut and takes my hand in his. I like that he doesn't mind my hands are so cold because his touch was so warm I could fall asleep in it.
We reach the porch and he unlocks the door and we quietly step inside. He leads me upstairs and we turn into what I'm guessing is his bedroom. I've never been in here before and it's completely different from how it looks from my bedroom.
It even smells really good in here.
His bed isn't made but to my surprise his room is actually not that messy. He also has a desk in the corner of the room that has books and papers spread across it. Gavin didn't pang me as the reading type but I notice he has quite a lot of books.
I take a seat at the end of his bed and slightly jump up when Gavin kneels in front of me. I watch him untie the laces of my shoes before he pulls them off with no trouble. I take a short intake of breath as I feel Gavin's hands run up my legs and stop at my thighs. His eyes watch me and I don't know how to react.
"I'll take the floor." I tell him standing up I walk around him.
"You can take the bed."
I quirk up my eyebrows at him. "Are you sure?"
He rolls his eyes and nods his head. "Take the bed before I change my mind."
I don't say anything but I have a feeling Gavin wouldn't actually make me sleep on the floor even if he said he would. I look back at the bed like it's going to eat me or something.
"I'll go get you some water." Gavin says and hurriedly makes his way out of the room. I take this time to make the bed for sleep which is weird because I never do this but I'm hesitant to sleep in it because I've seen all the girls who've been in his bed before and it aches me to think about it.
So I walk around his room and my eyes scan over the books he has on a shelf before I continue to look at his desk. There's a notebook on it and my fingertips run across the hard cover and as I'm about to open it Gavin enters the room.
"What are you doing?" He doesn't sound angry with me but he doesn't sound very happy about it either. "I didn't invite you here for a room tour."
Ouch, he is angry.
He places the water bottle on top of the desk and grabs the notebook and papers and quickly stuffs them into a drawer. I'm not hesitant to sleep anymore in fact I want this night to be over and hopefully we can forget everything that happened?
I grab the water bottle and take it with me to the bed where I get under the covers. The bed feels extra comfortable as my body sinks into it. I take a drink from my water and put it on the night stand. Gavin grabs a pillow and a blanket and I watch him toss them both on the floor. Then I see him grab the hem of his shirt and he pulls it off.
I can't help but look at his sculpted torso and the way it moves as he fixes his constructed bed. Ugh!
I bury my head into his pillow to stop myself from being such a creep, my senses are filled with Gavin's aroma it doesn't take me very long to fall asleep. I thought that would be the end of the night but I was sadly mistaken.
I sit up and rub my temples to prevent the aching pain in my head from getting any worse. I crawl to the edge of the bed and see Gavin is peacefully asleep. I smile at him and quietly get off the bed. My feet sink into the carpet and it creeks slightly my head snaps to Gavin, he was still sleeping.
I make my way out of the room because I need to use the bathroom. Once I find it I do my business before I wash my hands and even rinse my face so I could feel more relaxed.
"Alex." His voice is deep and slightly muffled it was kinda adorable how he rubbed his tired eyes and pushed his curly hair back.
"I was just using the bathroom." I whisper walking passed him into his room. I get back into bed and Gavin shuts the door behind him.
"You couldn't sleep again?" He asks me.
I nod my head.
Gavin scratches the back of his neck like he's contemplating something. "I can- I can lay with you, I promise I'll get back on the floor once you fall asleep?"
"Okay." I say. He gets under the blankets and sighs like he's relieved. The floors probably not very comfortable. "Do you like Georgia?" There goes my word vomit.
Gavin's eyes open up to look at me and a line forms in the center of his forehead. I tuck my hands underneath my head and face him.
"You're asking me this now?"
"I was curious." I say softly. "I don't like her."
Gavin closes his eyes again and chuckles. "I guess she's just always been there y'know, with us?" He finally says. "She wasn't always like that."
"A bitch?" I let out and laugh.
Gavin nods. "I never really liked her though, she's not really a person but more of and object, fucking Zach even got her in bed."
"I'm guessing you thought I'd do the same."
Gavin shrugs, the moonlight was shining bright in his eyes. "Most girls I know would, then I met you and you were so innocent I thought it would be easier for Zach to try and get you in bed."
"What makes you any different then him?" I say, I regret asking him but it was the truth. Gavin's hurt plenty of girls the same way or worse.
"I didn't say I was any better then him." He defends.
"Okay." Is all I say before we get any further into the argument. I close my eyes and try to fall asleep. I open my eyes back up and notice Gavin's already fast asleep. I put my hand to his cheek and stroke it.
"I do have cancer." I whisper, his eyes stay closed and he's still sleeping. It felt good to say it in front of him I only wish I could actually tell him when he was here awake.
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