Chapter 21:Never can we be

"Well,it's like me and him were made for each other,he's like my Mr Right and I'm his Miss Right. If he was not human,he would've known from the first time we kissed,actually the first time we encountered." I explained to Jess.

"How?"She was really inquisitive.

"We share a connection,one which pull us to each other,like magnets. He can't resist it and neither can I,the reason we keep kissing is mainly because of the strong bond we share..."

"Hold on a second, are you saying you've kissed him before?" Jess asked,confused.

"Yeah...twice." I mumbled.

"So you've been having an affair with him?"she cocked her eyebrows at me.

"No..."I shook my head.

"Then why was he here?"

"Last night..." I explained to Jess what had happened last night and how he had asked me to kiss him and how he ended up in my house. I further explained to her about how the mating process works.

"So what's gonna happen if he rejects you?"he asked.

"I really don't wanna think about that. He might be able to live without me,but I will never be able to live without him. I guess I'll just move back to Chicago so I can be as far away from him as I can be... 'cause being close to him will only torture my soul and leave me insane,especially if he's gonna marry Julia." I shrugged.

The idea of being rejected was too painful for me to think about,I knew that he wouldn't leave her wife-to-be for one of his students,but I had hope and that was the only thing keeping me sane. If he married Julia,I'd ask my mom to move back to Chicago or go to a boarding school somewhere far off.

"This is sick,you know."Jess said,standing up from the couch.

"I know that." I replied.

"I'm sorry I called you...you know..."she gave me a sad smile.

"It's cool,I understand." I returned her sad smile,"So what did you want?"

"Oh,I came by to ask if maybe you wanna go out,James and Luke will be there too." she said.

"Uhh...no. I can't,I wanted to-"

"Come on Charles,It'll be fun." she cut me off.

"I need to study for the test...you know." I came up with the best excuse I could think of. Although the test was just a standardized assessment which needed no studying,I knew Jess was gonna buy it.

"Oh,okay,cool...I guess I'll see you on monday then." she said,pulling me into a hug and heading for the door. I walked her to the door and waved goodbye.

Closing the door,I leaned my back on it,sighing deeply and sliding down on the floor.

My life is such a mess,why did I even kiss him?

And what if Jess told... But I trusted him and so did my wolf.

I sat there just thinking about the past week and what's gonna happen next. One thing for sure,our bond is now stronger than before,each time we kiss,it keeps getting stronger and stronger and the dreams keep coming more often. If we don't keep the distance between us,we might end up doing the unexpected. I just hope,things get easier from now on,although I have no idea how.

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I woke up the next morning,feeling all tired and lazy. My mom had returned last night and I was asleep by the time she arrived.

I decided to spend the whole day in bed,going out of my room only when necessary. I eased my mom's worry by telling her that I was studying.

I was just too lazy to get up,let alone do anything. So I sat in my room,thinking about Mr Garner and just how much I yearn for him to kiss me,to just be close to him.

After spending the whole day in my room,I decided to go out for a run at late noon.

I put on my gym pants and a purple tank top.

"Taking a breather?" My mom asked as I walked down the stairs. "Yeah,will be back in a short while."

I replied as I headed out.

I shoved in my earphones and started jogging down the street,taking in the refreshingly cool air as I ran on a steady pace.

I ran around the block,enjoying the music and the cool air.

I noticed a lake a few miles away as I explored the neighborhood.

I had been running for twenty minutes when I decided to go back home as it started getting dark.

As I was jogging back,I saw Mr Garner in his garden,he was looking at me passively,without any emotions,like he was trying to figure something out.

I wasn't even aware that I slowed down and was now walking. I wanted to greet him but something inside of me didn't comply. We just stared at each other for what seemed like hours but I know it was just a matter of seconds.

He looked away quickly,shaking his head and heading back inside.

The only thing that was running through my mind was how much it hurt for him to not acknowledge me...or maybe I was just being paranoid.

I've just been rejected,again. I thought to myself. I waved the thought away and ran home.

I went straight to the shower,switching on the music player and playing it loudly,listening to Taylor Swift.

I know that he might have not said it,but from his action earlier,I sensed his disapproval of me.

Did he think I was not good enough for him? Did he dislike me? Am I being naïve?

Tears rolled down my cheeks as the water hit me soothingly,I quickly rubbed them off.

I will not cry,if he doesn't want me,then to hell with him. I will not cry,crying is weak and I'm strong. I told myself encouragingly and stepped out of the shower.

I did some of my home works and had dinner with my mom,who left immediately afterwards for her business trip.

Whenever I thought of him,I quickly shut down the thought and focused on something else and that's how it's gonna be. We can never work.