Chapter 29: Goodbye!

Jonathan Garner's POV

I ran after Charlene into the house but before I could catch up,she was already gone. she was realy fast,was she an athlete or something. I turned to walk back into the house,keeping my head down. I wonder why she ran out like that,maybe it's because of Logan.

I walked into someone as I was not watching where I was going. ''Thank go I found you,I've been looking all over for you.'' Julia spoke.

''Rosslyin has left,haven't you seen her daughter?'' She asked.

I don't know what happened or what went wrong but for some reasons I no longer feel what I thought I felt for her. It was like a sudden realisation of something new to me.

I smiled at her,''She just left. So what did you want?''I replied,trying to sound interested.

''They wanted to take family photos and you and Logan were nowhere to be found.''

''We were just in my study.''I replied,deciding to cut my words short to avoid lying to her. I didn't like the fact that I had to pretend to her but I didn't wanna crush her. She was just so fragile and innocent,vulnerable in a very...affectionate way.

''Well let's go then.'' she held my hand and dragged me outside. Everyone was laughing and talking happily,all excited for the wedding which I'm not even certain I wanna go through with.

I smiled as my mother walked to me and and Julia,smiling happily.

''If it isn't our two love birds..''my mom spoke as she reached over to us. Julia wrapped her hand around me,resting her head on my chest.

''Awww,you two are perfect for each other. Let me call Jack to take a photo of you too,don't move.'' My mom spoke excitedly. She was realy happy for me.

I remember when I told her I was engaged to Julia,she practically jumped on me.

''Is it realy necessary mom?''I groaned.

''Yes it is,I want a photo of you two.''

''Mom don't you think you have more than enough photos of us?''I wonder why I keep bothering to disagree with her,she always wins.

''oh Jon don't be so difficult,now where is that Jack?''

Julia chuckled slightly into my chest,raising her head to looka t me,giving me a peck on the lips.

The rest of the day passed on pretty quickly,with me putting on my fake smile to hide my worries for Charlene. Logan kept trying to drag me inside the house to 'talk' but I didn't give him the chance,but now that everyone's left,I have no choice. The wedding was in two weeks and all my friends and family seem to be excited for it,except for me. I didn't even know how to react around Julia,I mean as much as I wanted to be with her,after Charlene,I'm not even sure if that's what I want.

I walked into my study after saying goodbye to my friend Jack,while Julia was picking up the waste around the house.

''How was your day?''Logan asked as I closed the door and threw myself on the couch.

''Logan please,not now.''

''I must say,I'm pretty much disappointed in you.''

I sighed and covered my face with the pillow. I was realy not in the mood for a lecturer,I just wanna think.

''She's your student Jonathan...forget about student,dude you are getting married in two weeeks. Did you ever stop to think about that? What about Julia huh? Did you ever think about her. I know damn well that what I saw was not happening for the first time, have you lost your mind?'' he stood up and walked to me. I just kept quiet. Clearly if I told him that I don't why I keep kissing her,he's gonna think of me as being stupid.

''Aren't you gonna answer me?''

He grabbed the pillow I was covering myself with and threw it away,''Jon do you realise how serious this is? First it was Claire and now Julia too,dude what the fuck is wrong with you? Julia is a good person she doesn't deserve this kind of shit,especially from you.'' he was realy mad at me,but as mad as he was ,he had no right shouting at me like that,so I got up and glared at him.

''You have no clue what I'm going through Logan,so you have no right to judge me.''I said,getting angry with each word I uttered,pointing at him with my finger.

''Fine,just don't say I didn't warn you.'' he turned to walk to the door but turned to face me before he opened it,''For god sake Jon she's only 17.'' he spoke,exasperation clear in his voice.I didn't know what to say,so he just walked out the door. Slamming it sharply that I shook a little bit.

As much as I hate to admit it,he was right. About everything,except one thing,Charlene might be 17 and one of my students,but to me she was more than that.

Julia was undoubtedly one of the most amazing woman I've ever met,unlike Claire,she realy did love me. She was kind,loving and cared about me more than anyone I know. She was there when I lost my father,she stood by me when I became an alcoholic,she was the one to hold my hand when I attended endless AA meetings and she forgave me when I left her for weeks and went to drink my life away,she truly was loyal to me,but she was not Charlene.

She never made me feel complete like the way Charlene did and she was not the one I wanted to be with always,the one I couldn't get out of my head,the one that made my whole body tingle by merely just thinking of and most significantly,the one I thought I loved.

I sighed heavily and took a glance at the time,damn it was late. I decided to sleep on the couch because the thought of being with Julia right now made me feel like a very horrible person,especially now that Logan knows.

I knew she would understand,like she had for the past weeks when I've been sleeping in the spare room,but tonight it was not possible as Logan is sleeping in it.

What am I ever gonna do with this situation?

Thinking about everything was realy stressfull and tiring,slowly I found myself drifting off to sleep.

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''Jon...Jon...Jon!''I heard someone call me but I didn't want to get up,''Go away...''I mumbled in my sleep.

''Jonathan!'' Julia raised her voice so I could hear her,and my eyes popped open imediately.

''What?'' I snapped,but not in an angry manner,I was just annoyed.

Julia chuckled slighltly beside me,''You are such a baby.'' she said,taking a seat next to me.

Something was strange about her today,the way she looked at me,it was odd. Maybe it's just my imagination,I waved the thought off and turned to look at her,just looking into her eyes while she did the same to me. She was realy beautiful,I smiled at her and she returned the smile. She looked rather sad..

Hold on a second... Why was she wearing make-up early in the morning.

''Did you just have a shower or...'' She nodded before I could finish the sentence.

''I thought you'd come to bed last night,I waited for you but you never came,did you sleep here?'' she asked,taking my hand into hers,playing with my fingers a little,like she always does.

''Yeah,kinda just felt like-'' She cut me off by placing her finger on my mouth.

''You don't have to explain Jon.'' I've spent five years with Julia and never have I seen her like this,she was sad and realy upset,she kept smiling to hide it,but I could see right through that fake smile.

I looked at her suspicously and she turned her head down,taking alook at her,I also noticed that she was dressed up. This was weird.

''Jules what's wrong?'' I took my free hand and tilted her face towards me.

She shook her head,I could see tears welling up in her eyes. To be honest,I was scared,scared that maybe I caused all this.

''You haven't called me that in a while now....'' Now what was I suppose to say to that. Truth is,I don't even remember the last time I kissed her,or told her that I loved her.

I looked down,not knowing what to say.

She sniffed and took her hand out mine to wipe her tears off tears were just rolling down her cheeks like a waterfall and she couldn't control them,but she didn't at once sob or cry loudly.

''Julia tell me what's wrong please...''I was getting realy anxious and worried.

''I heard your argument with Logan last night.''

Those eight words were enough for me to feel like my whole world just crushed in front of me. What on earth am I suppose to say? What do I do?

I just sat there,stationary and looking at her,I have realy hurt her.

I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out.

It took me a while to notice that she was walking to the door. I was paralysed and numb like a cripple. My senses seem to have been malfunctioning then.

''Julia...'' I uttered,I didn't even feel my mouth moving,just words.

She turned to look at me,giving me a sad smile while holding the door handle.

''I'm very sorry.'' I spoke.

She nodded and turned to face the door,''I realy did... love you Jonathan... Goodbye.'' She opened the door and walked out.

What kind of a person am I? First it was Claire and now Julia,why do I keep hurting the ones I care about most?

I killed my father and left my mother widowed,Logan without a father and now I just broke yet another great person's heart.

What kind of a monster am I?

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A/N:Poor Jules.... Vote and comment if you want me to upload early. And don't forget to fan.

Love you all.