《3.1 | Animal Instinct ✓》07 | quell
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her off-days too.
Days where she couldn't believe what she saw, days where she doubted that Wonderland was real, days where she wondered if it was all just a figment of imagination. Maybe it was. But then there were many different ways to interpret Alice's story.
And, maybe, it was the same for mine too.
Just because I'd seen one side of the situation didn't mean that I had seen the bigger picture. I didn't know what to think. Maybe Jed was innocent. Maybe he wasn't. And I needed space to breathe, think and analyse – until I could figure out whether he was or wasn't.
I made my way to the kitchen and poured a glass of water for myself, leaning against the sink and watching the moonlight stream in through the windows. Did I belong here? Or was I succumbing too easily because fate had thrown me into this place? The pull I felt towards Jed was strong, admittedly, and the chemistry between us undeniable but did that mean I had to stay with him just because we were written in the stars?
I took a deep breath.
No. As much as I believed in fate, I also believed that we made our own choices and picked our own paths in life. Even if Jed was the right person for me, I had a choice. It was difficult to reconcile the person I thought he was from the person people said he was – but that didn't mean I wasn't going to try. And if I couldn't, then I could leave because I'd already tried my best.
Whatever werewolf cosmic entity there was out there in the universe was just going to have to deal with that.
A sudden sound made me turn. Jed was heading down the stairs, but stopped the moment he saw me.
I cleared my throat and gripped the cup tightly between my hands. "I saved you some dinner," I said quietly, jerking my head in the direction of the fridge. "Left it in there earlier."
His gaze didn't waver from me.
I sighed and set my cup down. "Look, you don't have to speak. But now would be a really good time to explain things to me. Or show me. What is it that I have to understand?" I took a deep breath. "Did you kill?"
After what seemed like forever, he nodded.
"Did you regret it?"
He shook his head slowly.
I dragged an unsteady hand through my hair. "Okay," I murmured. "I'm grateful for what you did for me. But being a good person to me doesn't mean that you're not a bad person if all the things they say are true. Which one are you? If you're stuck in the middle, that's fine too. Just explain to me why."
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He ignored me, going around the counter and stepping into the kitchen. Reaching into the pocket of his jeans, he drew out a crumpled piece of paper and set it on the dining table. But before I could pick it up, he was already heading out of the kitchen, yanking his jacket off as he went. In the distance, I heard the back door click and I knew that he'd already shifted.
I reached for the paper. It was the napkin that he'd been writing on earlier, when I told him how I felt about the notion of mates for life.
What about you, I'd asked. What do you want?
I unfolded the paper, only to find a single word written on it:
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
The next few days were painful for us. I kept my distance from Jed, and accepted Lorraine's offer of employment at Salt & Pepper. Adrian, Spike and Lance spent hours at the diner, sometimes deep in discussion, other times helping out during the rush hour.
"They work in the city," she told me, when I asked what they did for jobs. "But things have been a little...rocky since Jed took over Titan. Still, it beats having the previous Alpha in charge."
I instantly recalled the name that Bianca had said during the court hearing. "Claudius Trevino, right?"
"Yeah. He wasn't a good leader. He'd engage in battles to fight for land, even if it was at the expense of sacrificing some of us."
"Really?"
She nodded. "That's why we have so much land, but there aren't many of us. There used to be more. Can't say those were better days though. We never knew when we'd find ourselves in yet another battle. This is better."
"What's better?" Adrian asked, as he sauntered over to help himself to some coffee.
"Our new Alpha," Lorraine said, forcing him to drop the pot with a smack on his hand.
"Definitely," Adrian agreed, shooting Lorraine a mock injured look and reaching for the brownie platter instead. "Jed's a good man," he added pointedly, and I knew at once that he had meant his words solely for me. "And I'm not just saying this because I'm his beta or best friend."
I sighed and passed him the brownie when Lorraine tried to smack him again. He grinned and I fished out a five-dollar bill in my pocket, handing it over to her. "I know you guys think he's a good man. But I just – " need time. Need space. To make sure. I bit the words back and continued, "I'm not leaving him now, if that's what you're worried about."
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"You thought about leaving him?" Lorraine's eyebrows shot up. "Do you know what this does to werewolves, much less an Alpha like him?"
I frowned. "They start – pining? I don't know."
"Being apart from your mate – that's painful. Look, us werewolves are loyal creatures. If you have his heart, you have it for life. When a werewolf's mate dies – the loss felt is doubled. You feel the loss of a loved one with human emotion, but you also feel it from an animal's perspective."
I glanced at Adrian and he shrugged. "Don't look at me," he mumbled, through a mouthful of cake. "I haven't found a mate nor do I care for one."
"Luna – Quinn," Lorraine said earnestly, and I smiled in amusement when she used my name, but she seemed entirely serious. "Whatever you're feeling, he probably feels it twice as much as you do. Jed's an Alpha – if he possesses better instincts, senses or agility than the rest of us, then his mating or protective instincts will also be twice as strong. So don't discount his feelings just because other people are going around saying that he doesn't have any."
Her words made me think. And I kept those words in mind for the rest of the day. I knew I had done the right thing by giving Jed a chance to explain. But maybe, like me, all he needed was time to figure it all out before explaining anything to me.
It was evening by the time the diner closed. After locking up, Lorraine and I lugged the trash out to the back, only to realise that the bins had already been cleared.
"Damn it," Lorraine sighed. "Okay, there's a dumpsite some way off from here. Are you up for lugging garbage around a while more?"
"Thrilled." I smiled wryly and followed her. "So where's this dumpsite?"
"Just past the intersection. It won't be five minutes, tops."
She was right. Once we crossed the road, the dumpsite loomed ahead. A sudden thought came to mind and I turned to Lorraine. "Do people – humans – come into these part of the woods?"
"Hardly. It's a forested area, and people so accustomed to the city don't like coming to places like these. Plus, security's tight - when the occasional hiker comes traipsing through, we tell them that this is private property."
"So private property signs are set up because werewolves are within the vicinity?"
"Not all of them. It's – " she stopped suddenly, her posture going rigid as her eyes widened. "Oh, no," she breathed, her fingers reaching for my wrist as she pulled me close to her. "No, no, no."
My chest tightened. "What's happening?"
"Luna," she stated flatly, her eyes still fixed on the road ahead to make sure that no one was in our path. "I'm going to shift and you're going to run. Head for home. No matter what happens, don't look back."
"Mind-link Jed. He'll know what to do."
"Already have," she returned grimly. "All clear," she tugged me forward and gave me a firm shove. "Now run."
"Lorraine – "
"Run."
Her voice sounded distorted. And just as I began to sprint forward, I caught a flash of brown fur surging up and then overtaking me. I knew without a doubt that it was Lorraine, and she never slowed her pace, instead ramming straight into a larger wolf that seemed to jump at me from out of nowhere.
I almost stumbled at the frightening yelp that seemed to come from her, and when I chanced a glance backwards, I felt the oxygen kick right out of my lungs when I saw that the other wolf had its jaws locked around her back. Lorraine was struggling futilely, legs thrashing every which way and I didn't even think.
"Lorraine!" Dragging the knife out from my bag, I was hurtling over and sinking it into hind leg of the other wolf, feeling the metal slice deep into flesh as the wolf dropped Lorraine with a agonised yelp. Lorraine dropped to the ground and I pulled her up by the scruff of her neck, yanking the knife from the other wolf in one swift action. "Come on! Let's go!"
We began to run, only for a flash of fur to ram straight into Lorraine. A huge weight pounced on me and I stumbled onto the ground. I slashed my knife up at the wolf on top of me, but a hand latched around my wrist, squeezing so tightly that the knife clattered to the ground.
Then Diego's familiar face came into view, a cold smirk stretching across his face as he wrapped his other hand around my throat. My vision began to blur, black spots dotting the surroundings as I futilely tried to pry his hand away from my throat. But it was too late, and all I heard before I blacked out was his ominous words, so quiet I could barely hear it.
"Should never have left Titan borders, kid."
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Only you babe
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