I stand there staring blankly at the elevator doors after they close. Fuck, what just happened to me? Taehyung has stirred something in me.

He has gotten under my skin and in my blood. I feel a bit woozy and mowed over by him. I stop and grab a water as I head back to my office.

I'm glad those elevator doors opened when they did because I was about to confess my life to him. He is so easy to talk to. Being with him felt different. Relaxed.

I believe he has no hidden agenda. He's just—real. I chuckle to myself as I walk the long hall back to my office. Finding someone real in this business is like finding an actor that doesn't like attention.

Oh God, the curse of Tommie Chen. That prick son of a bitch. I was really feeling a connection with Tae. I was even believing that maybe, just maybe Tae's my regular guy but then Tommie Chen shows up killing my vibe and my future with Tae. Jin won't like that I told Taehyung that I'm not dating that asshole. Why am I telling this simple farmer so much?

This normal regular guy. My friend circle is Namjoon, Jin and my brother Jimin. Pretty pathetic, I know.

The honest truth is, I don't want to be his friend. But, having more with him would never happen. When he learns the truth about me, the fraud that I am, anything between us would be killed.

But, he won't, so I can enjoy the time I will have with him. If only for a few weeks. When he talked about Christmas dinner and all of those activities of his past, I felt a lift in my spirit. It was an excitement about Christmas that I have not felt in a very long time.

I enter my office and Namjoon and Jin are both sitting on the couch in conversation. They immediately stop and look up at me as I walk in. They both turn towards me and start batting their eye lashes Suddenly, Namjoon burst into laughter and Jin has a wide grin.

"Hahahaha!"

"Let me get your number Taehyung. Just in case. And I should give you mine. Hahahaha!" Namjoon slaps his knee and bends over with uncontrollable laughter.

I look at him expressionlessly as a flush creeps across my cheeks as I sit at my desk. Jin even lets out a few chuckles which I see he is struggling to contain. Was I that obvious? Given their reaction, evidently so.

"I-I was j-just being friendly," I stammer.

"Hahahaha," Namjoon continues while Jin is pressing the palm of his hand tightly against his mouth with his head turned away from me as his body vibrates almost violently.

"Friendly?" Namjoon asks grabbing a facial tissue from the table in front of him and dabbing his eyes.

"Friendly is saying, 'Thank you, Taehyung, I'm glad you like the welcome basket. Good bye. Thanks for coming, Taehyung'," Namjoon says through fits of laughter as Jin takes a tissues and struggles to recover while wiping his eyes.

As he goes on, I look blankly off to the side and rub the back of my neck and fidget with the cap of my water bottle unable to meet Namjoon's eye contact. How the hell will I ever meet a normal guy with friends that think I'm a joke? Okay, so I was a bit over the top.

"Not only do you ask the guy for his phone number, like you're picking him up; you then offer to walk his ass to the elevator. 'Taehyung let me walk you out," Namjoon continues in a high-pitch exaggerated voice. "Hahahaha!" He keels over, again and takes another tissue.

This time Jin laughs out loud and then he clears his throat quickly recovering.

"Joonie, stop teasing Kookie," Jin says looking at me with amusement and biting down on his lip.

"Kookie, I get it. Taehyung is incredibly charismatic, sincere and hot. He is a regular guy and that is why millions of people like him. I think I know why you were dragging a bit on the set earlier," Jin says with a smirk. "But if we are going to pull this off you need to not get emotional about this guy. He's nice but he's a product."

I narrow my eyes, "A product? That's awfully demeaning, Jin."

"What do you mean demeaning? We use that term all the time talking about guests," Namjoon says as he regains his composure.

Jin reaches over and touch Namjoon's arm to silence him. A knowing look passes between them. Jin looks at me, all humor gone from his face. "Kookie, this is our business and you know this. Shit, you're a product. Can you do this? All of our careers depend on your being able to pull this off."

As much as I don't want to hear what Jin is saying I know he is right, as usual. No one knows this business like Jin. If it can be done, he'll do it. However, the price I will have to pay is what I fear. I nod and listen as Jin continues.

"Great, so this is what I think: based on the social media numbers, which are like none we've ever seen, we maximize our use of Taehyung," Jin says.

I hated hearing Jin use that word, maximize. It simply means use. Nevertheless, sadly, that's what we do.

That's the game. That's the business. This is not new to me. Nevertheless, I feel a need to protect Taehyung from the horrors of this industry. Keep him pure.

I feel conflicted but this is my business, my show and my name is at stake. Besides, Taehyung will have a wonderful experience. He certainly is my biggest fan, and apparently, I am his.

"So what do we do, Jin?" I inquire leaning in eager to hear his plan.

"I suggest we have him on as a special guest once a week up until Christmas and then bring him back on New Year's Day to talk about your Christmas. You'll tell stories, share pictures and talk about the food."

Hearing Jin say this sends a warm feeling of elation rushing through my body. I look down to hide my uncontainable grin. This may be the best Christmas ever.

"What do you think, Kookie?" Jin asks reaching for his phone as it vibrates.

"What does, he think?" Namjoon says rolling his eyes as he slaps me on my back. "Hahahaha! He's ready to run a victory lap up and down the halls."

"Shut the fuck up, Namjoon," I say more out of annoyance than anger. As much as I don't like his teasing he is spot on. And what a victory lap I'd do.

Jin is listening to a message as I speak and I notice he leans away from the conversation. It's not unusual for him to be multi-tasking with the weight of his responsibilities. I assume it's one of the many fires he puts out daily. I'd be lost without him. I proceed.

"I think it's a great idea. Let's give our fans what they want. They get more Taehyung and we get good ratings. I'm all in," I say not containing my grin. The thought of spending more time with Taehyung radiates heat throughout my chest.

"That was easy," Namjoon says. "Look, drool all over this guy all you like, but stay professional. That's all I'm asking," he says looking over at me with unwavering eye contact to make sure that I know it is a serious point.

I nod and press my back into my chair as Jin puts his phone down. He has a look of concern on his face as he looks up at me and then quickly looks away. Does it have something to do with Taehyung? Has he changed his mind? I feel a tightness in my chest.

"What's up, Jin?" I ask leaning forward in my chair.

Jin lets out a long, audible, sigh. "That was Tommie Chen's people. They are not happy with us canceling his guest spot today."

"Fuck, this bitch again." My fists clench hearing his name.

"Well, Jin, you just tell them no." I say with tension in my voice.

Again, with a heavy sigh Jin says, "Look, Kookie, it's not that easy. We owe them and..."

"Owe them?" I lash out gritting my teeth. "I don't want that asshole anywhere near my show!"

"Kookie," Namjoon says. "Tommie Chen mentioned you during his last two interviews and one was yesterday so we have to pay that back."

"Oh, so the time he went on that gossip show and started talking personal sexual shit about me counts as doing something for me?" I spit.

"Yes, it does, Kookie," Jin says calmly. "Again, it keeps you relevant and you got a bump in ratings. Let's just have him on tomorrow and then in a week. His new movie is being released on Christmas Day so we need to get it done. If we refuse, his people will tarnish us and it could affect our getting A-listed guests in the future."

Why is this dick the thorn in my side that never goes away? Again, Jin and Namjoon are right. I'll have to suck it up and force a fake smile while sitting across from him plotting his slow painful death.

"Okay, let's get it done," I say rubbing my hands down my thighs with a sigh.

"Great. Let's get him on tomorrow for the gift wrapping segment," Jin says picking up his phone and searching for a contact.

"Yeah, and make sure there are no sharp knifes around me," I say crossing my arms over my chest.

"Officially, you are both still dating," Jin says.

"What? Oh hell, no! I'm done with that Jin! You make it happen. I'm not playing that game anymore!" I shout and bare my teeth.

"Okay, settle the fuck down, Kookie." Jin says raising his palms to indicate his surrender.

I'm overjoyed as I enter my hotel room.

"Oh shit!" I forgot my gift basket. I hope this does not reflect poorly on me. The thought occurs that I could call Kookie.

No, of course not. That would be pretty lame, especially for something as simple as a gift basket. It's silly.

I'll leave it until tomorrow. I remove my jacket and lay back on the bed kicking my shoes off. I close my eyes as a grin takes over my face.

Oh God, I will be spending Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with my crush. How fortunate is that? There will be so many good memories and I already have a ton.

How handsome he was in his regular guy clothing. He was too amazing. On a few occasions, I felt something.

A connection. A spark. As silly as it seems I believe he felt it too.

Each time we touched. I know he is a big celebrity but for some unexplainable reason I feel hopeful. Like, maybe he could be mine.

My phone vibrates and I immediately sit up. Viewing the screen I close my eyes in anticipation of my brother's fury. He will not be happy to hear about Kookie and me.

I chuckle at the thought. Right, Kookie and me. As if I had something going with him. God, I want something going with that sexy man.

"Hey Suga, I just got in to my hotel and was getting ready to call you." I say to give the impression I was thinking about him.

"Cut the shit, Tae!" Evidently, he doesn't buy my thinking about calling him.

"Are you finally done and when are you going to have your ass back home?" He goes silent waiting for my response.

"Well, about that Suga..."

"I hear you setting me up for some of your bullshit, and I'm not for your bullshit, right now, Tae!" He sighs with exaggeration. "Go on!"

I search for a way to spin this but quickly realize that there is absolutely no way to spin this that would be acceptable to Suga. I decide to just be honest. Suga is my brother, not my dad. I know he means well and considers himself looking out for me.

"Suga, can you just listen without interrupting me?" I ask. Not hearing a response, I just start to talk.

"As I was telling you earlier, I was on Kookie's show. You know, Jeon Jungkook from that show I like Kooking with-"

"I know who that idiot is. Spit it out already!" He shouts as he appears closed to hearing what I'm saying.

"He invited me on to talk about my rescue of Mrs. Choo and her little boy."

"Did you have a good time being with your imaginary boyfriend?" He says laced with sarcasm.

"I thought you were not going to interrupt me," I say shaking my head.

"I never agreed to not interrupting you! Is there much left?"

I decide to just tell him everything. "Suga this is it. I did the show and it went well. Kookie asked what my Christmas Wish was and I told him it was an old-fashion Christmas. You know Suga, like the ones we had growing up with Mom and Dad." The line goes quiet except for his breathing so I know he's still there.

"Kookie has invited me up to his snowy mountain cottage. I will be spending Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with him. As part of his show."

"And guess what? You're invited too. It's going to be a great Christmas. All of this for Saving Mrs. Choo and her little boy. Isn't that amazing? So tomorrow, I'm going to meet with Kookie's Marketing Executive and we're going to plan out the entire holiday. I'm just too excited," I say and let out a little squeal.

"Taehyung?"

"What is it Suga?"

"You're an idiot too," he says hurling an insult my way. "You two dorks are suited for each other."

"Suga, I'm not asking your permission." I say dryly as I place my feet on the floor leaning away from the bed. "Look, I never take time off and I've decided to take a few weeks off. Besides, as far as the farm goes, we have people that take care of everything and much of it is automated. We're not a little farm where we have to go out, plow and plant. We have systems for all of that. You can spare me." I hear a loud extended sigh.

"Well, you are right about one thing. You never take time for yourself. You deserve to take some time Tae," he says with a calm and genuine voice.

"Thanks Suga." I grin hearing validation for my hard work.

"So Tae, you seem to be having a good time. Did he have those tight-ass pants on that you lose it over each week?" he asks with a chuckle.

"Dude, you know he did. He is beyond hot, Suga and he's so...so real." I feel an excitement and playfulness as I sit at attention.

"Tae, he's all Hollywood and show. Please don't fall for that real guy scam. That's all to pull you in and so he can put his greasy, little, cooking hands on your wallet."

"I wouldn't mind his greasy, little, cooking hands somewhere else. Hahahaha!"

"Ewwww, Tae!" Then he makes a sound like he's about to vomit.

"Hahahaha!" I laugh slapping my thigh. "Okay, I get it. It's a bit of a racket. I'm no dummy. I've purchased two of his cookbooks which are great, a set of official Kookie bowls, My Kookie Cutlery, two Kookie aprons, a Kookie Grill Master, which is the best grill ever. And yes, just in time for Christmas are his new Kookie silicone baking sheets." I clear my throat, "Uh, you'll find those on my holiday gift list. Only 19.99 from Amazon with free shipping," I say with speech that is peppered with chuckles. I do miss Suga. He can have his sharp edges but he's a good guy. Most people unfortunately don't know that. He's not much of a people person.

"Hahahaha! Your ass is the biggest sucker. You better be glad I put up with you." Suga says with a softness in his voice.

"So, you put up with me do you big brother?" I questions encouraging him to say more.

"I do, because that tight-ass pants wearing cake baking idiot has taught you to cook and I reap the delicious benefits." Suddenly, he goes quiet.

"Tae?" Suga says. "It's just. You know..."

I still myself for a moment as he indicates there's something he wants to tell me. "Just what, Suga?"

He releases a sigh. "I miss you. Tannie and Zeus are not much fun and they are more your pets. Zeus won't give me the time of day unless I'm holding an apple."

I feel an exhilaration with Suga's acknowledgement of missing me. "Suga, I miss you too." I've been so engrossed with all the attention, sights and Kookie that I have not thought about Suga.

My big brother and my best friend. "I'm sorry, I missed your calls yesterday and uh, the day before that," I say with reduced vocal volume looking down at my hands.

"It's ok, Tae. You did a good thing rescuing that mom and her little boy and I'm very proud of you, as is the entire town."

I smile hearing that and I feel a yearning in my chest for my little, simple town and its people. "Hey how is Tawin, doing?" I ask with anticipation.

"We, uh broke up. He wanted more and I just wasn't feeling it." His voice trails off at the end of his sentence.

I raise my eyebrows, "What? I thought you were doing well," I say thinking there's a lot of that going around. Breaking up, that is. I wish I was closer to him for this conversation so I could be more of a comfort to him.

"It's okay. He's already on to some other dude. I'm free again. I don't have anything against love and marriage but it has to be with the right one. You know like... Uh," He halts for a few seconds. "Mom and Dad. They got it right didn't they Tae?" he says as his voice slowly fades.

I feel a tightness in my chest with the mention of our parents. My eyes burn as I rub them. "Yes, they did get it right." We are both silent for a few awkward seconds.

"Well Tae, Hollywood or not, I'm looking forward to this Christmas Dinner. God, I hope he doesn't wear those fucking tight-ass pants. Damn idiot," he says teasingly.

"Hahahaha!" I laugh hearing him tease me again about my Kookie crush.

"If I get the rest of my Christmas Wish he will be wearing them." I say with excitement in my voice.

"Stop it Zeus! Damn it, Tae! You need to get home and handle this damn pig before I give you a year's supply of bacon for Christmas!"

"Hahahaha!" I laugh and look at my watch. It's 6:30 pm. "He wants his apple, Suga." Zeus is very intentional about getting whatever he wants. I laugh because I can see him nudging Suga toward the kitchen for his evening treat. You don't say no to a 350-pound potbelly pig. He is too cute.

God, I miss him and my little Tannie cuddling on my lap each evening.

"I know what he wants! Got to go. Talk to you soon, Tae." Suga tells me.

"I love you Suga."

"I love you too Tae."

Click.