We've been at this party for almost 3 hours, and out of all the people here the one person who has yet to come up to talk to me was Normani herself.

She even talked to Lisa. Out of all the people. I hope Lisa didn't tell her about us. Speaking of Normani I hadn't seen her in while.

I excused myself away from a boring conversation walking over to Jin who leaned against the wall looking around.

"Hey, is it time to go yet?" He asks folding his arms.

"Yeah. I think we're all tired"

"Thank god" he says in relief. Him and I walk to get the other members which didn't take that long since we all were very close.

I look around noticing the only person that wasn't here was Normani. "Where's Normani?" I point out causing the boys to either look around or shrug.

"Maybe she went home?" Tae suggests.

"Without telling me?" I ask him arching my eyebrows.

"If you haven't noticed by know Normani and you aren't really on speaking terms, so you'd be the last person she'd tell that she was going home" Jimin says.

Not on speaking terms?

Says who?

"Okay. Well she would have told one of you guys right?" I asked them.

"The last time I saw her she was with Lisa and Rose" J-hope mentions.

Finally something I can work with. The seven of us walk over to Lisa who sat next Rose, who tiredly danced to the music.

"Hey? Have either of you seen Normani?" I asked the both of them, who shook their head looking around.

"She told us she was going to get fresh air" Rose explained meaning Normani was no longer in the room.

"Why? Is something wrong?" Lisa asks standing up as if she was going to help find her. Not normani was lost or anything.

"No. Thanks for asking though" Yoongi tells the girls before pulling my arm to leave the room.

The more and more we couldn't find Normani, the more and more I was getting anxious. What if something happened to her. Like she got lost from the bathroom and couldn't find her way back.

"Before any of us freak out, let's just try her cell" Yoongi tells us all. I turn to see Jin pull out his phone and dial Normani's number.

It didn't take long for it start dialing, and in the distance you could hear a cellphone ring.

"See. She's fine" Yoongi says.

We all walk calmly to area where the phone was ringing, turning into a dark sitting area to see a purse and three red cups thrown down next to it.

"That's Normani's purse!" Jung-Kook points out the obvious.

Jimin picks up the empty red up, and placed it to his nose. He looks up at us with a worried face, "it's alcohol" he tells us all meaning Normani was drinking, and she doesn't have a phone now.

I caress my temples trying to calm myself before I freak out.

This is one of the reasons why I didn't want Normani going out tonight. There was multiple reasons, this just happened to be one of them.

"She wasn't drinking. She couldn't. She seemed fine all night" Tae says confident that Normani was sober.

I notice J-hope expression change. "What?" I ask bringing attention to him.

"I thought she could handle it"

My eyes widen, "you gave her the alcohol?" Suga steals the words right out my mouth.

"Yes. But only one cup. She was thirsty, and the bar was out of water. I was only trying to help" he explains with a worried face.

He couldn't think of giving her anything else to drink?

"Now she's around here drunk and alone" I point out the obvious.

"Look... everyone calm down. We need to find her before anyone in the party does. If word gets around the Normani is drunk at a party and isn't on her best behavior, it won't be good for any one of us" Jin says calming all of us down.

I leaned against the cold wall trying to balance myself up. I felt like I was twisted my ankles in these damn heels.

I sat on one of the many benches looking out the window to see the night city of Korea. For some reason, I began to break down.

In legit tears. Maybe because of all the emotions I was feeling right now.

I was hurt. Confused. Angry. Pissed. Tired.

I shouldn't never came to this stupid party. I talked to everyone expect for the one person I needed to talk to the most.

"Normani?" I hear my voice being shouted at a distance. I turn with tears in my eyes to see BamBam turn the corner to notice me.

I quickly slid my fingers underneath my eyes trying wipe the tears, hoping he wouldn't notice.

"There you are I've been looking everywhere for you" he says walking toward me.

But he did.

"Normani? Are you crying?", He asks me causing me to cry harder, I'm a baby when it comes to crying.

When someone asks me if I'm okay when I know I'm not, I tell them I am but tend to break down harder.

Because NamJoon is a lair. Because I liked him. Because I had to pee but didn't know where the bathroom was. Because I was a cry baby.

He approaches me, squatting down and handing me his handkerchief, causing me to look up at him.

I watch as he reach forward and wipes the tears himself. He was so concentrated on it too.

"A pretty girl like you shouldn't be crying" he says before placing the loose strand of hair behind my ear.

I wish I could fake a laugh right now, but I couldn't.

"Are you drunk?" He asks so softly in the most calmest voice ever.

"No" I say in a low but embarrass tone denying that my breath smelt like liquor.

"Normani, your drunk. Just me take you home" he says standing up causing me to look up at him.

"I don't want to go home"

"Where do you want to go then?" He asks.

I sigh, standing up almost stumbling again but I catch myself. I looked out the window with his eyes on me.

I turned to the large view window, and began pointing out the window. "I want to go there" I tell him as if I was a four year old.

He looks where I was pointing, he turns back to me standing with his hands in his suit pants.

"The carnival?" He asked arching his eyebrows.

"Back home my parents always used to take me. Either it was because I got good grades in school or for just a family vacation. We were all so happy. I- was happy" I say staring off in the distance.

Now that I think of it. I haven't spoken a word about my family to any of the boys. But yet here I am opening my information to BamBam aren't I supposed to hate him or something.

"Are you? I mean are you happy?"

I look to him, and for reason I really didn't know the answer to that. Which isn't a good thing.

"I should be right? I mean I'm the luckiest girl the world. I went from only being known in the U.S to now being internationally known. I was just an artist struggling to take my career off the ground, and now I'm a part of BTS. One of the best boy bands in the world" I say.

"But?"

"But I don't know. Sometimes you can everything you ever wanted. You could have millions of fans, so many people who love you, and support you but for some reason you could still feel alone" I say.

This conversation has turned into some dark deep shit. Like depressed time shit.

He nods, and sighs. "Well the difference is"... he pauses and I watch him take off his jackets. He then continues. "You aren't alone" he finishes and places his jacket over me causing our eyes to meet.

"there you go again giving me another special jacket that you most likely will never get back" I say trying to make a laugh out of this situation.

"I lied. I really don't have any special jackets. It's only special because you wear them"

I slightly smile.

"Can you walk?" He asks me.

I nod. As he reaches out his hand for me to hold, I ignored every thought in my head telling me not to, and decided to.

I felt his hand hold with mine.

"Come on" he smiles, causing me to ever forget about why I was crying in the first place.

As him and I walked down the hallway, we happened to get attention on a couple of artists leaving the party.

I look up to BamBam as he looked down at me, knowing if people saw us holding hands they'd most likely think him and I have a thing. But we don't.

"You can let go if you want" he tells me.

But that was my problem, I'm always so quick to care about everyone else has to say about me, or what I do.

"I don't" I tell him now intertwining my fingers with him causing a smile to appear from his lips.

We walked further the hallway, and I heard familiar voices, voices I wish that had already left to go home, voices I wish that were still in the party.

I shut my eyes slowly before opening them again, Bam and I turned the corner to see BTS talking with the two members of BlackPink.

"Did Normani leave already? I really wanted to say goodbye to her" Lisa said to RM, as RM had his arm around her neck.

It was like they hadn't even broke up.

"She probably went home. She was tired. She had a really long day" Taehyung tells Lisa, who turned to Rose and nodded understandably.

"She didn't go home yet. I'm taking her though" The voice of BamBam speaks loud and clear causing everyone other there to turn to Bam and I.

I watch as RM's expression changes noticing the BamBam were holding hands. I was wearing his jacket, and he was holding my hand.

NamJoon removed his arm off of Lisa, causing her to frown and look up at him, as he looked at me.

Oh, I so wanted to know what he was thinking. How he was feeling. I was pissed at him.

The conversation I had with Lisa was quite interesting if you ask me.

"Normani? Are you okay?" J-hope asks.

"She will be"

Bam responds with a deep voice speaking for me, and I couldn't but help feel the tension in the air.

Rose and Lisa looked around in confusion, I was as JungKook went to step forward but was stopped when Jimin grabbed his arm.

"Its okay. We got it from here. We'll take Normani home. After all she does live with us" NamJoon tells Bam.

I so wanted not to say anything his NamJoon but since Rose and Lisa were there, I guess I had too.

"It's fine. I was planning to go back to his house first. Bam said he had a couple things to show me. Right Bam?" I say before looking up to BamBam and asking him.

I watch as Jin mouth dropped and Yoongi sighs, NamJoon clinches his jaw trying to control his anger but I could see right through him.

He was pissed.

But I no longer cared.

"We're gonna get going. Normani, it so nice to meet you. Let's see each other again" Rose says breaking the awkward silence pulling Lisa away from RM.

"Most definitely" I nod waving at her, as the two sweet and pretty girls of BlackPink walked out the hallway.

"Alright. We don't have time for this Normani. We all have to be up at 7 for the photo shoot. It's time to go home, and that means your coming with us" Yoongi tells me.

"Then leave" I tell him so seriously.

"Normani, why you being like this" NamJoon says.

"You- you don't get to say shit to me. You must think I'm so stupid don't you?" I ask him causing him and the rest of the guys to look at each other in confusion.

"Normani, your drunk and confused. So you don't know what your talking about" Jin says.

"I don't?" I pauses laughing hysterically, I turn to NamJoon with the most serious expression on my face.. "You know your ex. Quite the talker. She went on and on about you and her relationship, and I couldn't help that think why'd hadn't you mention her. Then it hit me... maybe because you didn't want me finding out. Also knowing that you may still have feelings for her" she says causing all the boys in the room to look at RM in confusion.

"Normani, you might want to be careful what you say around here" J-hope tells me to be reminded that Bam was standing next to me.

I don't care. I probably trust him more I do NamJoon now.

"What you are implying isn't true. NamJoon doesn't feel anything for Lisa anymore. They broke up months before you joined the group" Taehyung says.

I look around to the guys, "is that what he's been telling you all. That he doesn't have any feelings for his ex?"

They all either nod and say yes to her question.

I turn back to NamJoon, "not only are you a lair but your a bad one."

"It isn't what you think, okay", NamJoon tries to explain himself but I refuses to let him.

"Really? Because that's not what Lisa thinks. Give the sweet girl a couple of beers and shes tells it all. For instance, the night of Seoul Music Awards, you came home so mad and upset.. and here I was thinking it was because of me... when in reality it wasn't"

His eyes met with mine when he realized I knew the truth of what happened the night.

He wasn't mad at me that night, he was mad at himself because after our performance he hadn't gone to the bathroom like he told the us he was. He went Lisa's room backstage to talk to her.

"Normani... it wasn't like that. I just went to talk to her"

"Yeah. That was the same night you kissed me" I say through her teeth trying to control her anger.

"Normani" he calls out my name trying to approach me when I stopped him.

"Don't!", I raise my voice.

He stood his ground, looking at me.

"You don't have to worry about me crying or getting drunk because of you anymore. I'm done waisting my tears on you, NamJoon" I say softly.

I hear him sigh before I then looked up to Bam motioning that I wanted to leave now.

"You boys have a good night" Bam smirks still holding my hand as him and I walk past the members of BTS.

I bit my tongue to hold back tears that so wanted to get out.

I don't even know who NamJoon is anymore, i thought I did. But honestly I don't. He was the first person I became close with in the house. The only person I didn't consider as my brother and yet for some reason right now it felt as if I didn't know him.

After making it out the building, we were building by what felt like thousands of flashlights from cameras of the paparazzi.

"Normani!"

"BamBam!"

"Look over here!"

"Kiss!"

BamBam blocks the flashes from my face by placing his hand in front of my eyes and then leads me to his car.

He opened the door for me, and I climb inside quickly, he pulls the seat belt out and across my chest.

"you shouldn't be crying. Specially over him. He doesn't deserve you", he states out of the blue as if I wasn't going to comment.

"And who does. I mean look at mean" I say drunkly causing him to actually pause and look up at me.

"You really don't know how special you are. Do you?"

He asks causing me to look at him a way I never thought I'd ever look at him. When I first met BamBam I considered him to be a ignorant, annoying, cocky asshole. But tonight, he wasn't any of those things.

He was sweet. Kind and caring. He also was respectful towards me. Which was different. A good type of different.

He shuts the door, and walks around to his side, getting into the car and driving off.

"Bam"

"Yeah?" He answers eyes still on the road.

"Please don't take me home" the words came out my mouth before I could process what I was asking him.

The car slows down approaching a res light causing him to look at me.

"I don't want to go home" I tell him honestly.

The truth was I couldn't face waking up in that dorm facing the guys when I knew I would feel embarrassed and scared.

"Mani, you know your boys... they wo— "I don't care. I just— I can't go back there. Not tonight" I explain to him causing him to nod and sigh.

"Okay" he responds before the car began to move again. I lean against the window, feeling myself begin to fall asleep.

Maybe not going home wasn't a bad idea. Maybe it was better then actually going back to the dorm with the guys.