"Aren't you excited for tonight? It's the first time performing at a large Korean award without the boys" Brandon asked me as we sat in the limo on our way to Golden Disc Awards.

Excited. Sure you could say that. But I wanted to be on stage with the boys not BlackPink. Who I barely know anything about.

The boys and I even had to take different limos, which if you ask me was very unnecessary. But for some reason deep down inside I knew this performance without the boys had to happen.

So many people said BTS craved a pathway to success for me which is not true, and tonight I was going to prove to everyone to doubts me that I deserve this as much as they did.

To make matters worse I had to sing a little bit in Korean. I don't even know Korean. For days I've been practicing nonstop.

"Yeah. Just a little bit nervous"

"You'll be fine. You always kill it on stage, no matter how nervous you say you are" he tells me causing me to nod.

The limo comes to a stop. I look to Brandon, "don't think about anything but how much you deserve this. We've came a long way from America, and I don't want to go back to how things used to be" he tells me.

The door opened, I immediately heard screams from fans and flashing lights from the paparazzi. "Show time, Mani"

Brandon tells me causing me to turn into sassy Normani. That bitch Normani. Bad Bitch Normani.

I stepped out the limo and with what felt like millions of eyes watching me, recording me.

I posed causing the screams to get louder.

"NORMANI!"

"We Love You, Normani!"

"Wow!"

I made my way to the red carpet, posing for the cameras. I smiled and turned to my good side as millions of photos were taken.

"Normani!" I hear my name being called as I posed like this was fashion show and I was the hottest model.

I turned to see a familiar face. BamBam himself with Got7 of course. I smiled once he noticed me.

"Mani!" He waved at me.

I smiled walking towards him making sure not to trip or step on my lacy dress.

The rest of his members stood behind him unsure how to greet me. the last time I even spoke to all of them was when we had the Girls Vs Boys.

"Hey" I smile as we hugged the flashes and photos being taken of our greeting moment was being taken.

"Boys.. take a picture with her!" A voice shout.

I looked at BamBam who shrugged meaning he was okay with it.

I lined up in between the seven members, standing next BamBam and Jackson, posing and smiling.

I adjusted my dress, putting my leg out more and glaring sexually at the camera. After the red carpet I followed Got7 into the large building.

I looked around for BTS because I was told I was going to sitting next to them.

"You know he hasn't shut up about you right?" The voice of Jackson tells me bringing me out my thought.

"Huh?" I ask unsure who and what he was talking about.

"Bam. All he ever does is talk about you" he tells me causing me to laugh.

He does?

Why?

"Really?"

"Of course. It if you ask me, I think it's cute you two like it each other but still too shy to admit it" he says smiling cussing me to almost choke on my spit.

"What? I don't like Bam. He's like a friend" I tell him wishing I believed that myself.

Deep down inside there were feelings for Bam, of course. I mean he's always there for me, and he's so sweet and kind. He always makes me laugh but my feelings for Bam were nothing compared to my feelings for RM.

"I'm sure you don't like him. Just like how I'm sure he doesn't like you. I'm not exposing you or anything, I just think you and him would be a cute couple together"

He tells me before I even got the chance to respond BamBam walks away from JB and Mark, and walks towards us.

"What you two talking about?" He asks wrapping his arm around Jackson.

"Oh nothing. I just wishing Normani here good-luck on her performance tonight, even though she doesn't need because she's going to kill it anyway" Jackson lies smiling as I force a smile as he walks away.

"So what are you doing after this?" BamBam asks me.

"Whatever the boys are doing" I shrug.

"Oh okay"

"Why?" I asked still looking for my members.

"I wanted to know if you'd be interested in going to dinner with me?" He asked.

Is he asking me out on a date?

No he wouldn't do that.

"Sure. What time should the boys and I be there?"

He flashed his smile, "I was really hoping it could just be a you and I thing" he tells me letting me know it was a date.

Before I could respond I hear my voice being called, I turned to see Brandon.

Thank God.

"I'll get back to you on the question. I have to go" I tell BamBam quickly not wanting to give him a response until I was sure.

I walked towards Brandon, "What are you doing? You were supposed to be at the table minutes ago, the boys and I were worried" he tells me.

"Sorry"

I followed him to the table with BTS sitting there. I noticed NamJoon talking to Jin, he glanced at me once then back to Jin and then back to me again.

I watch as Jung-Kook mouth dropped. I smiled walking to my seat. His reactions will always be funny to me. His mouth drops at everything. Either it my clothing or my performance.

NamJoon got up and pulled it out for me.

I nod thanking him.

"Where were you?" Yoongi asks me before I could get comfortable.

"I was talking to the members of Got7"

Joon turns to me, "Bam?" He asks.

I nod smiling as I realized cameras were on us.

"What happened?" Taehyung asks me.

"Nothing"

"So you guys talked about nothing?" Joon asked me.

Jesus they were nosy.

"Nothing important"

"So were keeping secrets from each other now?"

"He asked me out" I say through my teeth hoping they didn't hear but unfortunately they did.

Hoseok began coughing from the water making him choke, also from what I said.

Jimin looked at Jin as he looked at Yoongi. Jungkook and Tae where no longer smiling like they were before when I first arrived.

"What did you say?" Joon asked.

I don't know what did you say when you were told that you had to lie to the media and say that Lisa was your girlfriend when you know she wasn't. She isn't.

"I didn't say anything"

NamJoon lost eye contact with me nodding.

Well this was awkward.

"Ladies and GentleMen Welcome To The Golden Disc Awards of 2019. How is everyone feeling tonight" The spokesperson for today said causing everyone in the audience to clap.

I turn to Joon, "you're mad aren't you?" I ask him without letting the boys know I was even talking to him.

"No"

He wasn't even making eye contact with me, of course he was mad. I sigh looking at the screen where they were showing the nominees for "Best Girl Group with best song"

"You know you have no right to be mad. You want to know why?" I whisper to him.

"No"

"Well I'm going to tell you away. You can't be mad because I'm not your girlfriend. Lisa is remember" I tell him and he turns to me.

He clinches his jaw, before he could say anything to me he was cut off by the spokesman.

"DDU-DU-DDU-DU by BlackPink"

I clapped forcing a smile. I slightly looked over to NamJoon who held a force and fake smile as well clapping for BlackPink.

He stood up once the camera was on him, cheering for his fake girlfriend.

This was ridiculous. He was being ridiculous. For what ever reason he had to lie and tell the entire public that him and lisa were together must've been a very good reason.

"Bad Boy by Red Velvet"

"Heart Attack by AOA"

"TT by Twice"

"Egotistic By Mamamoo"

"And the winner is BlackPink"

Fans went insane screaming and cheering for BlackPink, I noticed the boys starting to stand up to clap for them as they make their way to the stage.

I stood up smiling and clapping for them.

"Yeah!" NamJoon shouts with his hands cover around his mouth as if he was actually excited for them.

He was playing this fake boyfriend role well, almost actually made me believe that they actually went out.

"Wow. Thank you so much" Jisoo say in the microphone holding the award. I like the rest of the guys take our seats.

"I want to say thank you for everyone who supported us throughout this amazing journey. I want to thank these wonderful, amazing girls that I'm so lucky to be standing next to. We went through a lot to get where we are now, so thank you" Jennie says.

The audience claps, one of the members pushes a shy and smiling ear to ear lisa towards the mic.

"I know I shouldn't be doing this but I want to give a special thank you to a very important person in my life. I don't know what I would do if it wasn't for him. Every one please give a round of applause to my boyfriend, and the leader of BTS. Kim NamJoon"

My mouth literally dropped, watching as the camera and stop light turned on to NamJoon. I quickly closed my mouth watching as the audience clapped for RM who was shocked himself.

I watched as NamJoon walked away from the table, as walked up the stairs.

"What the hell?" I hear Jin ask Jimin.

"You okay?" Jungkook asked me.

No. NamJoon is a coward. A lair. So much rage and jealousy was in my heart right now. I have never been so mad in my life.

I wasn't even mad at Lisa. I was mad at NamJoon for letting this go this long. He's literally so confusing.

One day he's so sweet and wants to be with me, and the next he doesn't know.

"Yeah"

I watch as Lisa walks towards RM before he could even make it to the center of the stage. Joon joins in for a hug but it was clearly the delusional hoe had other plans.

I watched as she placed her lips against his. My eyes widen watching his lips lock with her. Those same lips who were kissing mine less then four days ago.

The audience screamed and clapped. RM pulled away smiling looking down at her. I notice him turn and look at me, and something inside me told me to turn away from him.

I swallowed hard looking away unable to watch any more.

Yoongi looks over to me noticing my reaction. It took almost everything in me not to break down and cry right now.

I watch as RM and Lisa and the rest of the BlackPink members walk off from the stage.

"What an idiot" Yoongi says to Hoseok who nods.

I notice Brandon walking towards me, "it's time" he tells me letting me know it was time to go into my wardrobe to get ready for the performance.

I nod getting up from the table, and following him.

After thirty minutes, I was finally ready. I walked towards the lounge room where I was supposed to be meeting the girls.

I enter the room to hear them practicing, as in harmonizing together.

"Mani!"

Lisa shouted pointing me out. They all turn to me and was dressed in their outfits.

"Hey" I force a smile waving towards the girl.

"Holy shit. You look hot" Jennie compliments me causing me to nod and thank her.

"I want to say congratulations on your award. You all deserve it"

"Thank you. Our speech would've been perfect if it wasn't for "Miss extra" Rose says glancing over to Lisa.

"What? I just gave them something to talk about, okay" Lisa shrugged smiling.

"Ladies it's time" A voice said walking into the room. I turn back to the girls, "we got this" Jennie tells us.

-

"For too long women have sat back and watched as the men have took over. Now? It's time for a change" I hear the pre-recorded voice of me as we all stood on separate stage lifts.

"I can tell you're looking at me

I know what you see

Any closer and you'll

Feel the heat"

The voices of BlackPinks combined say as their stage lifts, I hear the audience scream.

"BLACKPINK!" Lisa shouts.

"You don't have to pretend

That you didn't notice me

Every look will make it

Hard to breathe", BLACKPINK sings into the mic as my stage lift began to move.

I stood with my arm on my hip, poking out my backside out. The spotlight hit me causing me to turn around. I stood in the middle.

The audience screamed loudly.

"NOR-MAN-I" I say.

"Let's get it!" I say before the beat drops causing all of us to dance the choreograph was practiced to this song.