Tomorrow is the performance.

"Why do we say goodbye when there's no good in it at all?"

"My eyes just won't keep dry, every tear is a waterfall. Oh, I'm holding on to all the memories I can recall. Now I cherish every moment, big or small. Now that you're gone, I hold on. To all the laughs we shared and I'll never forget your smile"

I sang into the microphone passionately as the backup duet dancers danced to the contemporary music. When I wrote this song all I was thinking about was NamJoon if I'm being honest.

I thought about if I ever had to goodbye to BTS as a group, the hardest person to say goodbye too would be NamJoon because I love him.

And— Wait.

Did I just — say I loved him?

"We've said hello a million times

The hardest thing to do is say goodbye

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye"

The lyrics were honestly so meaningful. The song itself had to be my favorite from the album. It talks about emotions people feel but may not want to express.

The song is like a way of saying goodbye and letting go, but at the same time not wanting too.

I heard myself in the speakers harmonizing and it sounded amazing. Angelic and perfect.

"Not a day comes that I don't wish you were near. But wherever you are I'm still holding you right here, here in my heart. I hope and pray, that I'll see you once again. Til then I'll be looking forward to that day"

I sang looking at myself in the mirror, noticing my emotion. It looked so real, maybe because it was.

The dancers behind me danced passionately to my emotional ballad.

Moments later practice we finally over. I cut off the mic and turned to the dancers who were excited at how well they danced to the song because some of them were having problems before hand.

"That was amazing you guys" I compliment the Korean dancers who smiled at me. To thank me for my compliments they either nod and said thank you.

I smiled at them.

"We'll have another rehearsal right before the show. Just a heads up. See you guys until then" I say.

Before one of them could say anything they were cut off by unexpected clapping coming from the door.

I turned to see BamBam leaning against the door frame looking into the room. I couldn't help but smile.

BamBam I hadn't seen each other and what felt like a while. He was always busy, and so was I.

The dancers turned realizing who it was, and began nodding and clapping. I smiled at their reaction. They were greeting and applauding Bam like he was a god or something.

Bam flashes his smile and walks into the room waving and nodding back at the dancers.

"hey you" he says before meeting towards me and pulling me in for a hug.

"Hey? What are you doing here? I thought you were on tour?" I ask him as we parted.

"We are. But we get a day off to relax before we have to leave tomorrow" he tells me.

I nod. "So on your day off instead of relaxing and staying home, you'd rather be here?" I asked him.

"With you...of course" he flirts smiling causing the dancers to "ohheed" at us.

Bam's personality itself was a flirter. If you have a pair of legs and a vagina in between them you would fit perfectly under the category where he flirts.

I roll my eyes nudging him.

"You guys... I would like you too meet my dearest friend, actually one of the artists I got close to when I first got to Korea. One of Got7 Main rapper and dancer BamBam" I say as they clapped for him again.

Bam turns his attention away from me and towards the dancers, and nodded to each and everyone of them.

"Bam.. this is my dance team. They are going to be my dancers for my performance this weekend, and following" I explain smiling.

"You guys look so good, I was watching for a bit and you guys look amazing" Bam compliments them as they smiled and nod taking the compliments.

"I loved your part in everyday" one of the dancers confess causing Bam to laugh and me to smile.

"Even though it was a small part, thanks" he responds.

"everyday (everyday). every night (everynight) feel like a fool, you gotta know" one of the dancers breaks out mid song doing the choreograph to Bam's song causing me laugh and clap.

"Oh wow. That was good" Bam says surprised at the dancers action.

"We should go now. But it was really nice to meet you" one of the dancers said before nodding.

Bam and I smile watching as one by one they walked out the room. I turned around from Bam walking towards the corner grabbing my dance bag and water bottle.

"How've you been?" He asked me.

"I've been fine. Just busy, but that's the normal in Normani's life" I say making conversation.

"I'm talking about since what happened in Japan" he mentions. I knew this was going to happen.

I'm not going to lie. I've been avoiding everyone who called me after the news got out about that night.

Bam just happened to be one of those people. I only talked to my parents, the boys and Brandon. Other then that no one else knew of shit.

"When I found out... I tried calling you. It's like you were avoiding me" he says softly.

I turned to him. "You have to understand, Bam. I was going through something I just wanted to be left alone, you know" I try to explain to him.

"I understand that but still. I was worried sick about you, Normani. The least you could've done was texted me telling me that you were okay even if you weren't" he tells me.

"You wish what? You rather me lie to you?" I ask turning facing him.

"I rather been told a lie then been told nothing at all. I didn't know what to think. I couldn't even do anything because by the time I found, I was still on tour. I didn't even know. Jackson told me" he explains.

He had a point. It was wrong of me to avoid him and the situation. I didn't know it bothered him so much.

"Your right, I'm sorry. Besides you don't have to worry about me" I assure him that I was okay and I was going to be okay.

"I know but I can't help but do, Normani" his voice was stern and serious.

Before I can get my words out he stopped me, "answer me this Normani?" He asks causing my heart to drop.

I knew this had to be serious.

"What are we? And please don't tell me just friends. Because last time I checked friends don't go on dates and talk about the future together. They also don't come into my house at almost 12 in the morning and almost have sex with me. So I'll ask you again, what are we?" He asks so seriously causing me to swallow hard.

Where the hell did this question come from?

I didn't know how to answer this. I just look around trying to avoid his eyes.

"That's exactly what I thought" he says before laughing and walking towards the door.

What the hell is going on?

Was he upset?

I turned to his back that was faced towards me, "What do you want me to say?" I ask him.

He turns to me, "I don't know. Anything. Something, Normani. Just don't stand there and act as if this is some one sided thing. Because I know deep down inside you feel something here too" he says walking towards me.

Wait. Was he confessing his love for me or something? Oh, boy.

"Bam" I say softly.

"Don't Bam me. Tell me right now that you don't have any feelings for me. That you feel absolutely nothing and I'll leave this thought alone" he tells me.

I was speechless unable to speak words, where was this coming from? It literally made no sense. Just a couple moments ago he was being all friendly and now it's like he wanted to be more then friends.

Am I missing something?

"Tell me, Normani" he says approaching me cause me swallow hard and my breathing to hitch.

"I need to hear you say it" he says about to touch my arm when he was stopped.

I don't know how or where or why but it happened. Bam was literally about to touch my arm when unexpectedly out of nowhere NamJoon walks into the dance studio quickly grabbing my hand.

"Sorry. She has to come with me for a minute ", The words escaped from Joon's mouth said confusing both Bam and I.

One, where the hell did he come from?

Two, did he hear the entire conversation?

Three, what did he need to borrow me for?

He pulls me aggressively out of the dance room, down the hallway. I need to catch my damn breath, what the hell is going on?

"NamJoon" I call out as I was held behind him as he pulls me throughout the hallways of the building.

"What do you think you are doing?" I asked him. He ignored me which was making me very irritated.

He glances back at me one time before pulling me into the elevator. He gently pushes me inside before stepping inside himself.

The doors closed and my hearts racing. "NamJoon! What is your problem!" I asked him raising my voice pulling my arm out of his grip quickly breathing heavily from out fast we were running.

He stands speechless as the elevator travels down to the first floor.

"Why do I need to come with you? Wait, Did you ask me first? Couldn't you see I was in the middle of a conversation? That was unnecessarily rude" I tell him seriously trying to catch my breath and remain calm.

I was literally so confused right now. Bam just confessed his love to him and was about to get a response when out of no where Joon popped up.

"I know everyone's been a little on edge since the incident in Japan, but that doesn't mean you can do this. Come in the dance room and drag me out as if..." I pause losing my train of thought when I noticed he was approaching me.

"Can you say something...anything? You're standing there as if you're some stat..." I was then cut off when he grabs my face looking at me.

His eyes searching myself. My eyes jot up to the floor level then to camera in the corner.

"What are you doing? The camera" I tell him softly.

"I don't care" he says before smashing his lips into mine unexpectedly. What the hell as gotten into him.

He's always been the type to be cautious about things like this but now he doesn't care? We part breathing heavily looking at each other.

"All of the above" he states causing me to look at him in confusion.

"Huh?"

"Someone once asked me if I was trying take care of you, protect you or love you. This is my answer to you" he states causing my knees to get weak.

"All of the above" he says once more. He couldn't tell but my heart was smiling right now.

"I-i don't understand" I confess.

I don't think I have ever been so confused in my life. Joon himself was confusing, I didn't know what to think with this boy.

One minute he wants me the next he has to pretend as if he wants lisa. I've always been a second choice to him.

I wish there was something, anything he could do or say to tell me otherwise. Because at this point I'm starting to lose faith in him.

Since day one my feelings have always been clear. It was him he was always wishy washy.

"Do I have spell it out for you?" He asked me searching my eyes.

Yes.

Spell it out for me. Tell me everything I've been dying to here from you. Tell me how you feel. As last Bam wasn't afraid to make a move. He literally was waiting for my response until you had the nerve to cut him off.

Which if you ask me was still rude.

"Yes, because unfortunately you are a very complicated and confusing man. One day it's like you can't stand to be without and the next you treat as if I'm just the girl in music group. I'm more then that. You know it, I know it. Everyone knows it. So please tell me.... spell it out" I tell him seriously.

I couldn't read his expression. But it didn't matter once he opened his mouth.

"I love you, Normani"